Terrible Three and 3/4s

[Amelia]

Hi

 

My son is 3 and 3/4. He has ASD. Recently he has developed a really bad temper. Anything can set him off.

He goes crazy waves his arms and shakes his head. He keeps trying to push the TV off its stand.

 

He has been hitting me, OH and his 9 year old brother.

 

We were going to meet OH this evening at the supermarket for weekly shop. Which I can't do alone due to back prob. Younger son wouldn't have his shoes on I put them on 4 times and he took them off again and proceeded to beat me up. I decided to cancel our arrangement as I was still in pain from having to carry him away from the park yesterday. I feel that I am being controlled by him and his brother who has ADHD. I would have taken him with no shoes but couldn't carry him to the car as he is quite heavy now.

 

Any advice appreciated

[call me jaded]

I have put my son more than once into a large trolley to get him (shoeless) back to the car. Even quite recently and he's 12. I've just remembered half a dozen people in M&S helping me to the car when he had a really bad meltdown

 

The supermarket is *really* stressful for him. He rarely goes and when he does it's as a part of 'life skills'. For your own stress levels you need to find an alternative - internet, giving DH a list, home delivery. Whatever works for you.

 

I'm obviously a really bad mum, because I would try to make him walk even without shoes, regardless of any 'looks' this might attract.

 

Sorry but I'm still looking for the answer to this one.

[forbsay]

Hi

 

We used to put my asd son in a trolley when we went shopping. I have now trained him to walk beside me but it is still really stressful at times - he keeps going on his knees and looking at fridges.............

 

I think i am going to start doing my weekly shopping on the internet...........

 

Forbsay

x

[JsMum]

I think when there this young and the piont where there waving hands and head is just let him have the space to let the tantrum run its course, if he ends up hurting someone or himself holding can help for briefe times.

 

you defo need to see his specialist and gp and share with them your concerns over your sons tantrums.

 

until he is able to understand and where you can support him with frustrations and get to see triggers his tantrums are going to be very challenging, NAS might have some inforamtion on teqniques and there is courses that they do that might help.

 

J use to have very bad tantrums at 3 and sadly at the time i didnt understand why, a lot of my concerns where replied with he is having the terrible twos or i wasnt consistant, now I know differently and so now i have a lot in place to help and support him and to help him feel safe and reasurred.

 

Is he in any early years services, nursery, childrens centres or sure start they might have some more ideas too.

 

it is very hard and difficult, just stick to your guns and keep chuggering away but do share your worries and get some support and services.

 

JsMum

[Amelia]

Thanks for all your replys.

 

He goes to main stream school nursery. I have an inclusion services lady and she is coming to visit on Friday with a new specialist speech and language therapist. I am going to bring this up with them.

 

Elder son has ADHD and eye problems.

 

On Sunday elder son told him as soon as they got up that we were going to look around the shops. (We were going for summer shoes) He went straight to tamtrum mode. I got his makaton symbols out and showed him we were going to get dressed, go in car , shops, buy shoes, buy Buzz Lightyear (toy story is current obsession), home. This seemed to calm him down. When we were all ready to go, I took him through it again and then we left straight away. He was quite calm in the car and the day went well.

 

He still hates going out but I hope this will pass.

 

Regards

 

Amelia