Amelia

My 12 year old son was diagnosed yesterday with aspergers. We have to tell him this weekend as we have a large mullti-agency meeting on Monday at his school and then it may slip out from one of the teachers by accident. I would appreciate any advice on how to tell him. I have a printout from the NAS but parts of it didn't print.

I tried to use our key on Sunday as son was desparate and the other toilets were locked. It wouldn't work. I tried for ages then son couldn't wait any longer.

Update We are now on day 5 of school, 1st 3 days he went willingly then yesterday decided he didn't want to go. I have been pinched, punched & kicked before he shuts down, I put him in his buggy and eventually take him to school. The school said he had settled for the first few days better than expected. The home/school diary shows he is becoming more difficult. I am hoping for an IEP meeting soon, so we can discuss things going forward. I think I will cope better when he is full time. Thinking about booking some massages to chill out.

He doesn't have a statement. The support is 5 hours through the additional family (of school) needs fund and extra hours through the school's special needs budget. He seems to be getting more agressive and my biggest problem is having 2 boys with additional needs.

Thanks for your replies. W(4) is starting school Thursday, he was going to start after Easter but the school has changed its intake rules and now only has Sept & Jan. All the children start off for 2 weeks mornings finishing at noon but I have to collect W at 11.30 as he wont cope with assembly apparently. After 2 weeks the other children stay for school lunch with their parent then start school full time. W will carry on with me having to get him at 11.30 until they review the situation at half term towards end Feb. I can't complain as he wasn't originally going until after Easter anyway. He is going to get about 5 to 10 hours support a week. I think they will be calling me all the time anyway. He is also still in nappies.

Sorry but have to get this off my chest. Christmas has been awful. I have 2 boys (L age 10 ADHD and ASD) (W age 4 ASD). The older one winds the younger one up all the time. They both have to be 1st in everything. W keeps attacking us, hitting, pinching, biting. We feel desparate and feel abused. W starts school this week but is only being allowed to go for 21/2 hours each morning. I invited 1 sister and her family on Christmas Eve. I tried to limit the number of visitors on Christmas Day to my parents and my other sister later in the day but still had a few uninvited guests. Since then none of our family has rang. No one has returned our entertaining. Next year I don't think we are having Christmas.

Thanks, I know there is not much to say. Just thought typing it may help me think about it as I just feel numb.

My son's Chromasone tests have just shown he has an invertion on number 5. Which may explain his problems. We have to now go for genetic counselling and he has to go when he grows up.

Both IEPs were very positive but left me feeling rubish. I feel that they can cope so well and that I must be ###### at it. There was a lady there who no one introduced and everyone was refering to a report from the specialist SALT but I didn't have a copy. I know I should have asked but somehow I didn't. I was kept waiting for 15 mins after my appointment time so I was irritated to start with. They called elder child in for 10mins, he said he has loads of friends, and is very happy. When he got home he was screaming, sobbing and hitting himself for 1 1/2 hours about how he hates school and how he hates the children for being mean to him. So I don't know what to think.

I am feeling a little more positive this week. We saw the psychologist last Wednesday and he agreed to put DS2 on his list officially. I see him for both children but could only make appointments for DS1. Am awaiting an another appointment soon, at another venue with child care so I don't have to destroy son's self confidence any further. I have decided to ask each professional that we see "What happens next?" rather than try and work it out myself. We have had lots of meltdowns today. DS2 pinched and beat up my OH, but left me alone this time. We have both IEPs tomorrow and I am ready this time

Thanks I did look for Help course. Wasn't one in my area either. I didn't know about registering though.

Thanks he will be 4 towards the end of August. He was refered to Dietician as he will mostly only eat dry things and things that are whole (not broken or a piece missing.) He was refusing to eat at all at one time. Now everything has to have a separate dish. Just trying to do my best for him and can't help thinking i don't know enough. It doesn't help that friends and relatives think we are making it all up.

Hi My youngest son was diagnosed ASD in December last year. I feel that much of the information I have gained has been almost by accident, eg bumping in to someone who asked have you heard of this etc. I wish there was someone who could lead me through all this. I don't know if I am assessing or receiving all the available support or services for him. I would like to know if anyone has/had a liason worker or similar to support them. We have SALT, dietician, paediatrician and are waiting to see a psychologist.

Will be thinking of you and your daughter on the 21st. Hope she is ok. My son is on the waiting list for his tonsils to be removed as they are large and meet in the middle. He had his adenoids out a year ago as xrays showed he had no airway down his nose. They said they are not allowed to do tonsils until age 4. He has sleep apnoea too. Regards

Thanks for your ideas and advice. It wasn't something I had to think about until now.