curra Report post Posted June 2, 2006 Hi, Can anyone give me advice what to do in this situation? My son (12) goes back to school next Monday after being excluded for 3 days. He still doesn't understand well why he was excluded and he keeps saying that he must have his revenge! He sees it as a conspiracy. I am very concerned that when M goes back to school he can get into a fight again and have a longer exclusion. The school are trying to get a statement for him and have recommended another school for M, with an autistic unit, but the LEA phoned me 2 days ago and told me that this other school has no places available and whether I would consider a residential school. M would be terrified in a residential school, he doesn't even go out by himself because he's afraid, how could I expect him to spend the week in a school?? I said no . The child psychiatrist also realises that M lacks maturity to understand the consequences of his actions and she thinks that the best school for him would be the one with the autistic unit. What happens if he gets excluded again? Can I keep it at home to prevent another exclusion? Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted June 2, 2006 We're in a similar(ish) situation with Com Com has been struggling for the last 2 years and we finally got decent provision in place but the LEA failed to amend his statement and the school, in spite of repeated warnings, kept Com with another autistic child for break and lunch even though they were aware of the clash between their presentations. The end result was an incident which led to Com exploding and assaulting the boy (who had provoked the incident deliberately) and lashing out at members of staff. Com was excluded but no action was taken against the other boy. Com sees exclusion as the ultimate failure and sees it as unjust because he feels (rightly in my opinion) that the other child was at fault but got away scott free. Com was off school with anxiety for 3 weeks after the exclusion because he could not let go of the anger. When he returned he found it almost impossible to settle again and developed serious OCD symptoms. The school took steps to separate the boys (who are friends but clash badly - the other boy is all touchy feely and slobbery and persistent in his pursuit of Com as his friend, while Com is tactile defensive and fastidious and needs a lot of personal space) but it was too late for Com (they don't understand that Com cannot see it as over and just get on with things again). Com is now out of school indefinitely and we are facing a second emergency review next week. We already have it in writing from the LEA that there is no other place within the authority for Com - no unit or special school, and this is the ASC school for the authority - and have not offered any alternative as yet. You can't keep him at home to 'prevent another exclusion' but you can take him to the doctor and get him signed off sick with anxiety/stress if you feel he isn't ready to go back or won't be able to cope any longer. Each exclusion needs to be looked at carefully - the school have a duty of care towards your child and this includes a responsibility to not place him in situations that they know may provoke reactions because of his autism, and also not to punish him for things directly relating to his disability. The disability rights commission have a code of practice which covers exclusions - it can be downloaded from their website (Com's exclusion fitted the example of the child lashing out in the lunch queue almost exactly!) Also there is a document available from the DFES called Improving behaviour and attendance: guidance on exclusion from schools and pupil referral units. Links are on Phas's illegal exclusions thread in the pinned topics on education. You can still ask for a unit to be named in the statement - it is immaterial whether or not there is a place, if everyone agrees that is what he needs than that is what he needs and it should be in the statement - contact IPSEA, they will talk you through your rights on this. They cannot restrict what he needs just because it isn't available at this moment - although obviously they will try but it is their job to make it available if he needs it. They know this which is why they offered you a,very expensive, alternative (which many people here would die to be offered without a fight - but it's no good if it isn't the right thing for him). The one positive about him getting excluded is that it backs up your concerns that the mainstream environment is not working for him hope that helps - keep phoning the IPSEA help line, it takes ages to get through but they are brilliant with this sort of stuff Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted June 2, 2006 curra Just a comment about residential schools. Last year when I was hoping that William would get a statement I was looking at possible schools. I was looking for schools specifically for children with AS and came across a few residential schools. At first I thought no way would William cope with that. Looking further into it I decided to go and visit one. I chose a co-ed because William really likes girls. I went to have a look at the school and spent about 3 hours looking around and talking to the HT. It was fantastic. Every single member of staff has had training on ASD, not just the teaching staff but all the auxillary staff aswell and they were all really cheerful and kind. I came away absolutely praying that William could go there. He didn't get assessed for statement but I still haven't given up on the idea completely. Sadly, even if he did get a statement I'd have a fight on my hands for funding from the LEA because they have policy of not funding out of county if they can possibly get away with it. If your LEA have suggested a residential school don't dismiss it out of hand. Go along and look at a school specific to his needs (there WILL be one) and just see what you think. The kids in this school were all really happy, the staff to pupil ratio was about 1-3 at the most, and many of them were taught in pairs. The houses they live in are lovely and along with the usual subjects they are taught life skills etc. I totally understand that you don't want your son to go away from home, but just look into it to see what you think. Lauren (if you want information on AS specific schools pm me) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canopus Report post Posted June 2, 2006 Failure to return to school after a fixed term exclusion is truancy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted June 2, 2006 Yes, it is. But I would seriously advise you follow the route suggested by Zemanski, for all the reasons she states. That isn't truancy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted June 2, 2006 (edited) I will second what Lauran has said go and look at the school. I've looked at 2 residentials, one I thought no way it wasn'tsuited for my son the other I loved it and thought he would too. I'm not going to ask for placement there but it will always be in the back of my head, look at it and if you like it take ur child to have a look. Best of luckon what you decide to do <'> Edited June 2, 2006 by stressedmumto2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted June 3, 2006 Thank you all for your advices! Zemanski, I'm sorry that Com has been through such a terrible ordeal! I hope you can get soon a place for him at a suitable school. M has been aggressive and defiant at home (for no apparent reason) over the last days, and had a kind of seizure again, which he had some weeks ago. I can't really tell whether it's stress because he says he's fine for Monday, only a bit afraid that the other boys will pick on him. I think that if anything goes wrong on Monday I'll take him to the GP. Thank you for the links, I think that M's exclusion was "legal" though not justified because the school did not take the necessary steps to stop the bullying and support my son. I don't know though whether I will insist on this too much since the school is now trying to get him a statement. The main problem is that M doesn't see his fault and I hope the school understand that this is due to his AS. Lauren, Stressedmumto2, I'll go and look at the residential school when the LEA give me more details. M doesn't want to hear about it, but it will still be worthwhile seeing what it's like. He might change his mind. Lauren, thank you for your PMs! Phasmid, Canopus, Thank you for your advices and warning about truancy! Luckily I have an understanding GP in case things get too tough for M. <'> <'> <'> to All of you. I'm feeling more confident now. Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LizK Report post Posted June 3, 2006 Curra Does the residential school have day pupils? Some of them seem to have a mixture of boarders and day children. Would that be an option? Guess it depends how far away the school is from you to be practical Hope you manange to get things sorted out Lx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gladysmay Report post Posted June 6, 2006 Hi, Can anyone give me advice what to do in this situation? My son (12) goes back to school next Monday after being excluded for 3 days. He still doesn't understand well why he was excluded and he keeps saying that he must have his revenge! He sees it as a conspiracy. I am very concerned that when M goes back to school he can get into a fight again and have a longer exclusion. The school are trying to get a statement for him and have recommended another school for M, with an autistic unit, but the LEA phoned me 2 days ago and told me that this other school has no places available and whether I would consider a residential school. M would be terrified in a residential school, he doesn't even go out by himself because he's afraid, how could I expect him to spend the week in a school?? I said no . The child psychiatrist also realises that M lacks maturity to understand the consequences of his actions and she thinks that the best school for him would be the one with the autistic unit. What happens if he gets excluded again? Can I keep it at home to prevent another exclusion? Curra hello, I noticed the part about The Child Psych realising M lacks maturity to understand the consequences of his actions. It rings a bell because that is what I was told all the time about my son, looking back I assumed they did not know better because we did not get diagnosis till late, is it maturity or empathy? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted June 6, 2006 It is normally difficult to secure a place at a residential school due to the cost of placement. If a child does go it does not mean they have to be resident all work. If the school is not too far than your child could just stay at school for a few nights depending on what is happening at the school in the evening. You should go and look at the residential school first and than decide if it is suitable. Obviously your child is not happy where he is and excluding your child is only dealing with the problem short term. Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted June 6, 2006 hello, I noticed the part about The Child Psych realising M lacks maturity to understand the consequences of his actions. It rings a bell because that is what I was told all the time about my son, looking back I assumed they did not know better because we did not get diagnosis till late, is it maturity or empathy? I would say in my son's case it's both in abundance! The term "lack of maturity" is more positive for me. C Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
