Distraction and lack of focus

[KarenT]

J's distractability is horrendous. He can be standing at the top of the stairs and I'll call up and tell him to go into his room for something, and by the time he's walked the three feet he's already forgotten and I'll find him on his bed reading the Beano again. It affects all areas of his life and makes day to day living incredibly difficult.

 

So... have any of you whose children have similar difficulties done anything to tackle this lack of focus? I've no idea how to go about it - it seems such an integral part of him and I'm not sure if it can be something I can educate him. Any thoughts?

 

Karen

x

[Zemanski]

very common in children with ASCs, ADHD, dyspraxia and dyslexia

 

it is thought to be to do with attention deficit and problems with sequencing short term memory

 

some things to remember when giving instructions -

 

1. make them short and to the point, do not give extra information or embed them in conversation

 

2. never give more than one instruction at a time (not actually as easy as it sounds - get your socks from the clean laundry pile and put your shoes and socks on may sound straight forward to us because the 2 instructions are connected but it is actually more than some children might be able to cope with; go to the bedroom and get your socks is also 2 instructions and the child will probably only do the first part, get your socks from your bedroom will probably be more effective)

 

3. ask the child to repeat the instruction back to you - this not only makes sure they have heard and understood the whole instruction but helps train the short term memory

 

4. repeat the instruction again before the child sets off.

 

hope that helps a bit

 

Zemanski

[phasmid]

We also found when Phas jr was younger that writing the instructions down helped him too.

[justamom]

Keegan does the same we ask him to pour us a glass of juice he comes back with the milk. Zemanski is right one clear instruction at a time helps alot!

[linss]

hi , i find a visual timetable really helps. Particularly for getting up in the morning. I took photo's of K washing , cleaning his teeth having breakfast etc , laminated them and put them on a board.We,ve got one in the kitchen and one in his bedroom.He often goes and checks it and i've found it's taken away some of his anxiety.

Easier for me too , my 3 year old knows what she's doing more than he does and he's 7 bless him!

[KarenT]

Sounds like I'm doing all the right things so far. I have lists up all around the house reminding him what he needs to do, and as Z suggests I give simple and unambiguous instructions one at a time. Do you think he'll ever get it? I've been doing all that stuff for ages but there doesn't seem to be much improvement?

 

He's now into Star Wars in a big way so I'm going to go through all his lists and write them out again in Yoda-speak. Hopefully that will give a different perspective and improve interest.

 

Would be glad to hear any other advice.

 

Karen

x

[BuntyB]

We have this problem too. We have a little list of 5 things- we do the same every morning and I ask the kids to repeat it so they know it off by heart! (not that they do it )

I get so sick of repeating the same thing, I think there must be a way of having it on a repeated tape and leaving it running

[jb1964]

Yes, we have the same thing too. We have a large poster she helped design which gives a timetable for mornings before school - with a clock face and pictures of brushing teeth, getting dressed etc. The only thing with this kind of thing is then if she is running late we have meltdown because she can't see past that point. Also, sort of gets very messed up at weekends and school holidays as she doesn't know what to do - even though I try to explain it's exactly the same except put on non-school clothes - but it's still very difficult.

 

We also have a large poster right by her door (by the lightswitch) that says things like: bring dirty washing downstairs into wash basket, put empty packets in bin in bedroom, bring down any cups/glasses and put into sink etc.

 

I think it is all about routine, repetition etc - although my daughter does these things she can only do them at certain stages. One morning before school she came downstairs in her nightie and I said why didn't you bring down your cups (she always has to have a glass of milk and a glass of water for bed) - she got quite upset saying 'duh - I can't yet can I' to which we said but it would have saved you a trip up and downstairs - she again got on her screamy high horse repeating 'I can't yet can I' and went back upstairs. Some time later she came down dressed carrying said cups - I praised her saying well done and thank you - to which she said 'well I'm dressed now' - I then asked her does it mean you can only carry the cups down when you're dressed and she said 'well of course!!!!'.

 

Take care,

Jb

[smiley]

Hi Karen

 

Sure i'm 'teachin' granny to such eggs' - but here goes!!

 

My son has a very short auditory memory - he can't get himself dressed in the morning without prompting. He can remember two requests, ie; point to the dog and the cat (in a picture), but if you ask him three....... he can't remember the third. In some part, this is due to his processing skills. It takes him an age to 'hear' what you've said - process it, and then respond. Just an idea - but it might be worth giving plenty of time to process what you've said. (Generally it makes no difference if i ask him to repeat back - he has a great rote memory - doesn't mean he's understood what i've asked!) I also use alot of hand gestures - really over the top (some makaton) whilst i'm talking. Visually 'seeing' what i'm saying seems to help (though it could confuse some children even more).

 

We use visual prompts - pictures etc, but these can be a pain to sort out if you just want him to run upstairs for something. Usually if he's given the time to process, and i use hand gestures, and giving very clear and simple instructions helps (Z's spot on ). We've also been known to hang a little notebook from his trousers and write on what we want him to do - great, until he forgets to look at the notebook!!

 

Bit off topic - but i've been going through some kinaesthetic excersises with M - mainly to improve handwriting skills - but it does seem to be having a positive impact on his short term memory as well...... Might help?? The excersises are from a book called 'speed up!' - a kinaesthetic programme to develop fluent handwriting.

 

Hope that helps <'>

Edited July 31, 2006 by smileymab

[KarenT]

Thanks all, some great suggestions there.

 

Really relate to the notebook that doesn't get looked at! I've used that for J at school to remind him to change his reading book, bring home PE kit etc, but he forgets to even look in it. Maybe I need another book that says "Read your reminder book"!.

 

I like the sound of that Speed Up book, will have a look out for that. I'm doing handwriting improvement lessons with J over the summer but have only been given a regular book by school, and it's not really helping.

 

I've just spent an hour re-writing some of J's checklists in Yoda-style, eg "Before the house I leave these things must I do..." and "My watch must I put on". He's sort of lost interest in looking at the same old notice on the wall so I figure he might be more inclined to work at it with an obsession-related theme. Fingers crossed.

 

Sounds like there are quite a few of our kids with this same problem to varying degrees.

 

Karen

x

[lisa35]

just likemine,he is10 ,getting dressed is a nightmare, have to literallysay puton your sock, put on shirt,etc

If send up stairs for something he gets distracted by a fly on wall! Someone told me tocount to7 after I give an instruction,to give himtime to process whats been said, we have a lot of routine too

Lisa