It's been a long long day

[jlp]

Well week 2 into the holidays and G (6 with AS) isn't showing any signs of calming down.

 

Today I've been on my own with the two boys all day until dp came in at 7. My mam would usually come in an emergency but is ill with a stomach bug (can't complain about that as we were the ones who gave her it ) I've been screamed at, scratched (new horrid habit), hit, had things thrown at me and the little one has had a settee dropped on him during the 3 minutes I left them alone in the next room while I dried my hair. I honestly thought he'd broken his leg as he wouldn't move it at all at first. It was an accident, G 'was having a tidy up' and had told L to move but couldn't hold the settee any longer. While I'm trying to persuade L to move his leg and wiggle his toes G was screaming at me and L because it was all our fault, and I told him to shut up

 

He's fell off the slide so there was hell on about why did we buy such a stupid slide then gave himself a thick lip on a collaspible (sp?) tunnel (apparently if you walk about in one of those you're a droid) so that got thrown in the outside bin with great force (by G) and I got screamed at for having such a stupid thing in the house.

 

By the time dp came in they were playing happily with no sign that it has been the absolute day from hell.

 

They've went to bed (early but they don't know that!) and I feel so sad. It's awful seeing G so full of anger and distressed.

 

I don't know where to go - we've had behavioural advice from the child and family unit (sitting on the step, taking things away for a day, not tolerating violence) and I've rang social services for an assessment but not heard anything yet (I think it goes before a panel then they decide whether to help). Concerned about any behavioural advice (SS said this might be an option) after KarenT's experience with the local 'behavioural advice' which turned out to be general, critical and none ASC specific.

 

Very worried about the little one (he's 3 next month) seeing all of this, he was hiding behind the bed today and everything he said he got screamed at by G. I can't gag him and he does come out with the worst possible thing to say when G is going full flow ('Daddy will be cross with you George' or 'Are you being naughty George?' which sends G into an even bigger rage and I have to get between them)

 

He's only little and I need to keep him near me when G is having a meltdown (if I put him in another room he'd follow anyway) and need to stay fairly close to G (to keep him safe and also he has a big fear of being alone so if I walked away and left him he'd follow and the whole situation would escalate even further) so it's pretty hairy when things are getting thrown and doors slammed.

 

Sorry for the waffle but any hints or tips gratefully accepted.

[bid]

Oh jlp, what an awful day <'>

 

I remember how tough things were when my son was young, and no.2 was a toddler

 

In my experience, you have to keep phoning and phoning SS even to get the initial assessment

 

Hang in there...you sound as though you really need a break <'>

 

When you do get some response from SS, it might be worth asking them about 'Shared Care' (might have a different name in your area)...this is a scheme where your child is 'matched' to a carer who just takes them for a few hours after school once a week or so, sometimes overnight.

 

Something like this would at least give you some respite, and let you spend some quality time with your youngest.

 

Hang in there <'>

 

Bid

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Ive spent many a day when my As son was younger haveing days like that.Its awfull and realy wears you down.I used to just sit and cry praying for the day to be over and wondering if hed ever stop screaming and shouting at me.

 

 

I cant offer any advice about where to go for help because i was basically left to get on with it but i can offer hope.My son is now 12 and adapts a lot faster to the fact its school holidays now than when he was younger.We now spend the holidays haveing a relatively nice time with very few if any meltdowns.And we get to go out and about more.So things can and do imprrove with time.

 

 

I hope today is a better day.Take care and although at the time it seams things will never ever imprrove they do they did for us as our son got older.

[mum22boys]

Hi, <'>

 

I know only too well how you feel.

 

It is so hard for siblings to have to be subjected to the verbal abuse, being told what to do and when to do it and also witnessing the physical attacks in meltdown. My eldest is 6 (waiting assessment) and my 3 year old sees far too many tantrums for my liking.

 

I feel lucky that when we are out and M goes into meltdown that R stands still and doesn't move as it can be so hard trying to keep hold of a violent child whilst making sure your toddler doesn't toddle off.

 

For me I worry that R is learning M's behaviours. At least i hope he is only learning from him and not taking after him as it is hard to cope with one like it without having two.

 

I have no answers as i'm muddling through this too, but wanted to let you know i understand.

 

mum22boys <'>