ZenWolf

Glad my perspective was of some help I must admit that as a kid I would play the same music over and over, but you grow out of it - most of the time As for the Reiki, I am hoping to learn too this year, though it will depend on whether I can get well enough to work again - Incapacity Benefit gives me barely enough to live on, so Reiki would have to wait until I am earning again. The Reiki thing touches on a surprising aspect of ASD (and autism for that matter) that I had thought was just a "me" thing. It's a tricky thing to discuss, because we shy away from discussing things that are too unconventional, even in a group like this, but a LOT of ASD kids and adults are very "sensitive" to spiritual moods and treatments. It has often been explained away as people being suggestive to new ideas, but I think that there is more to it than this. I am starting to cautiously wonder whether it is not a matter of picking up less from the world around us, or whether it's a case of picking up different things in different ways. Just a thought. Adam

Hi Claire Firstly, welcome and thanks for the long and very detailed post. As I have not had direct dealings with LEAs regarding my daughter (my ex has handled all this, as my daughter lives with her), I cannot comment on the process. It does seem, however, that a lot of meetings and decisions have taken place without your knowledge, let alone your involvement. I am not sure what your rights are in this regard, but I would certainly be protesting strongly, in writing, to these things as soon as possible. Others here are probably better able to advise on your actual legal rights and any other action you may take. It seems to me that so many parents and children get caught in the crossfire of different opinions, personal crusades, funding issues and politics. I'm going to get a reputation here for keep repeating this, but the sooner there is a standard policy, with effective assessment guidelines, that allow children to be "classified" by their actual needs, the better. If a child responds well to a certain type of support then they should be entitled to it, regardless of its long term benefits. We can argue back and forth about neurological and behavioural cause and effect until the proverbial cows come home, but by the time we are all agreed, the scientists will have changed their minds, or conducted more research that turns the whole thing upside-down again. None of which makes a scrap of difference to how our kids behave, or what helps them learn and be happy learning. I wish you the very best of luck in resolving this, and I believe that there are many people here that will be able to advise you, or at least offer understanding and support. Please keep us informed of your progress. Adam

I think that the most frustrating thing about all this is that whilst it is clearly of scientific interest to understand how the brain works for everybody, and how it differs in some cases, this is not an appropriate way to "classify" behavioural traits with regard to everyday needs. We would be far better, as a community, classifying children (and adults) by their behavioural needs, rather than whether the issue is neurological, neurochemical, or purely behavioural. I also understand the need to identify positive traits from each case, such as the Aspie movement in the case of Asperger's, but these are all just part of a general need to start celebrating the positive aspects of any individual, rather than focussing on the negatives. If we could just reach a point where each child receives the support they need, as an individual, without it having to be such a damn fight all the time, then we would no longer need to focus so much on these classifications. We need less scientists and more humanists!!

Further reading: http://lists.envirolink.org/pipermail/sare...301/000196.html Haven't been able to find anything more recent than this on the net. Did find these which made interesting reading though, and offer some very different views from public and government. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...146557?v=glance (read the customer reviews) http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/c...xt/20712-19.htm (sorry if someone has posted this link before)

This is news to me, but not surprising news. I suspect that it is coming from two different angles. The first is a need for government agencies to classify everything into their own boxes - Asperger's is not as "serious" an issue, in funding and disability terms (to their minds at least) as many other forms of Autism. I fear that the other side is a result of a number of people within the Asperger's arena who want to make it clear that Asperger's "sufferers" are not autistic in the "popular" sense of the word. A further issue clouding the waters is that Borderline Personality Disorders are often misdiagnosed as Asperger's and vice versa - I was diagnosed BPD based on my social responses, before any account was taken of other symptoms that would indicate AS. BPD can be similar in symptoms, but is believed to have very different "causes". It cannot be entirely unrelated in mechanism though. Frankly, there is always going to be some new theory, or some group that is trying to look at things differently. Each one brings us closer to understanding these things, even if all they do is eliminate the negative possibilities. We need to keep an eye on the though to ensure that the government doesn't see them as a good way to duck out of their responsibilities.

Thanks for the welcome folks - you probably realise how "important" that is to me

Reiki was a new experience for me, but has worked immensely well. It's odd, because Aspie's tend to hate physical contact, but often seem to respond well to something like Reiki (expect us to be pretty nervous about it at first tho!). As to music therapy, I can offer something from both my own perspective and from that of my cousin, who is a music therapist. Although tastes differ, very relaxing music (the specialist stuff rather than just chillout) and tribal music are both very effective at mood influence in most forms of Autism and related "disorders". Many of us respond well to drumming too. Not the whole drum kit thing (before parents and partners start panicking ) but just something simple like tom-toms. The repetitive (and often quite complex) rhythms that we (usually) quietly beat out are incredibly soothing, and are a good mood indicator. Aspie's can be incredibly good at meditating, and are often quite spiritual, so things like Celtic music often appeal, but this too is a matter of taste. Make sure you don't try and talk to us over it though! Hope this helps. Adam

Hi all Just wanted to post a quick note in here in response to the meds issue. I have only recently (last couple of weeks) worked out that I "have" AS. I'm 38, have suffered badly from awful bouts of depression and anxiety at regular points of my life (always when a romantic/family/working relationship went badly "wrong") and was finally diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder a coupl eof years ago. It is only now that my 5 year-old daughter has been diagnosed with Asperger's that I have looked into at all, and discovered that the symptoms for AS are a much closer match to my own "challenges" than BPD. I have been on pretty much every anti-depressant and anti-anxiety med at some point, but they will all only do so much, as the depression and anxiety are only symptoms of core behavioural differences between those with and without AS. That doesn't mean that treating the symptoms is a bad thing - I am currently responding very well to Mirtazapine (a selective SSRI), which is helping me find the strength to deal with other issues. The key is understanding that Aspie's (a much more positive term that is growing in use as a celebration of the positive side of Asperger's) see the world differently, that they work far better with visual cues to learning than with written words. As an example, I sailed through my O levels with no problem but totally flunked my A's as there was much more written work involved. My Dad reckoned I was just lazy, but I really could not focus on what I was studying. Had we known where the problems lay, we might have sought out some better learning aids that were more visual. I am now studying for a degree with the OU, which is a pretty much perfect option for Aspie's, as there is little social interaction and an awful lot of visual and interactive supporting material. For all of you parents with AS kids in their teens, bear in mind how difficult teenage years are for anyone, and then pretty much triple that for AS kids. They find the social pressures very much harder to deal with, and it creates an enormous strain on them at a time when their education is also immensely hard work. Encouraging them to accept that they are "different" rather than "worse" will help a little - but none of us wants to be "different" at that age either. The worst thing you can do is let them feel any pressure of expectation from you. Learning social skills takes time, and ultimately our hardest lesson is often "ownership" of our issues and responsibility for our actions. Loving and caring for anyone with AS is damn hard work(!), and they often don't seem to respond to it. Believe me, though, deep down the fact that our parents and families love us and celebrate our differences makes everything a lot easier to bear, even if we are pretty rubbish at showing it. Wish I could help more. Willing to help in any way I can. Adam

Hi folks I hope this is the right place for my first post here. I will be reading a whole load of the existing posts over the next few days(!), but just wanted to pop in here and say hi. A little background on me might be helpful I expect, so here goes I am 38 years old, and have suffered from severe bouts of depression and anxiety for most of my life. My Dad is bi-polar and so they "naturally" assumed I was too for ages, but it didn't quite fit. A couple of years ago, during an especially bad series of "problems" in my marriage, a cognitive therapist made the connection between my bouts of illness and problems in relationships, whether they be romantic, family or professional. I was then diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, and have been receiving counselling on that basis. I was "happy" to accept this label as it seemed to fit most of my issues - inability to "get" communication (I miss a LOT of non-verbal cues, and frequently misunderstand what people mean), avoidance of eye contact, not wanting to be touched, and so on. It was only when my ex wrote to me at Christmas and told me that my five year-old daughter has been diagnosed with AS that I even looked up what Asperger's was. You can imagine my surprise at finding out just how similar the symptoms are between BPD and AS! Perhaps if I had had any reason to mention that I also have incredibly acute hearing, smell and taste, or a hundred other little "signals" that are very AS, they might have diagnosed me differently. From a personal perspective, there isn't a world of difference between the BPD and AS, in terms of accepting that I am always going to find relating to people difficult. I had an instinctive grasp of computer programming very early in life, and have long since decided that my ideal situation is working from home doing programming and web design, with someone else doing the sales and people bit. I just need to find that someone else! My biggest issue at the moment is that I want to be sure that I do everything I can to support my little daughter. My options are limited here, as she lives over 300 miles away, I have no way to see her (and I'm not sure her Mum would let me!) and so I am limited to writing letters, or sending pictures or occassional small gifts or something. I am utterly appalled at the lack of support and recognition in this country for AS, especially reading the posts of people who have tried to claim DLA for help with their kids or help themselves. I probably won't even bother trying, as I tried once before for the depression and found the whole thing so traumatic that I couldn't face the appeal process when the orginal request was turned down. I have pretty much come to terms with my own challenges, but I now find myself getting furious at the problems that others are facing - problems that I don't want my daughter to have to face too. There is a growing movement, in the US at least, to see "Aspie" as a wonderful thing, with the vast majority of Aspie's showing great talent in arts, computing or sciences. With the right support, and recognition of the difficulties that such folk have in relating to others, they (we?) have a great deal to offer the world. I'm not quite sure how, as yet, but I am quite determined to do my bit to get this "disorder" (I hate that word with a passion!) recognised, both for it's support needs and for its more positive traits. It is wonderful, therefore, to find such a site as this and see so many others who are determined to work towards these goals too. Vive la difference! Adam