~Jonathan~

Wow Daisy so true. Sometimes I think about how society treats those who are 'different' and attempts to make us fit into what is 'normal' so we can be like everyone else. But the world would be a boring place if everyone was normal wouldn't it? That doesn't mean to say that those who are different are somehow better, I believe that all lifeforms are of equal validity but looking at the creative arts, how much of it would there be if the whole world was what is defined as normal?

It's really strange because when I've been with this person and he criticises me and others (he is always moaning about someone or something) the qualities he lays into, I don't see them in others but in him. The other day, this chap came over to where we were and started telling him about a business idea he had and my friend really started laying into him, sneering at him and laughing at his ideas. I could see this person deflating by the second until eventually, he was looking down a lot and his voice was hardly a whisper. I piped up "I think it's a great idea, you go for it" because I hated seeing him lose confidence and this friend of mine turned round to me sharply and said "and do you work? Well, do you? No you don't so I don't think you have any idea about business and what works and what doesn't so, with all due respect, you have nothing constructive to add to this conversation" and then with his mouth still smiling (though nothing touching his eyes) he went back to slamming this other person's opinions. This other person and I looked at each other for a moment. He then said "well, I still think it's a workable idea" and my friend said "well, I don't so grow up!" This was a grown man being spoken to like a child. He then half-smiled at me and said "nice to meet you" and shook my hand and walked off. I said "he seemed like a nice chap" and my friend says "yeah he's alright I suppose" and inside I no longer liked him. I still went back though for more.

Wow, there are others?

No, this person was always saying things to me like this. I have a habit of saying hello to people when I see them, even if I don't know them. I was out with him and someone looked at me and I automatically said "hello there" and he really went for me. "Do you know them?" he asked. "No" I replied. "Then why are you saying hello to them?" and I said "because it's polite to" I said. "So are you saying I'm not polite then?" he said. "I didn't mean it to sound like that" I said. "No, you never do" he said. "What does that mean?" I said. He said "you can't go round saying hello to people, it's no wonder you're hated and no one likes you." That really hurt. I said "I can't help it, it's just something I do." "Well, don't do it" he said "because it's embarrassing and it makes you look like a freak."

I live my life as a virtual recluse because I am not comfortable around others because I tend to get picked on in some way. The other day, someone I thought was my friend and who knows of my condition told me that I was irritating, infuriating and could totally understand why people didn't get on with me, that I needed to grow up and 'get a life.' I won't be seeing this person again. I worry that even if I went along to an AS type of meeting or place that I would (on some level) get on the nerves of the people there. I'm just looking for acceptance really but I don't think I'll ever find it. Conditionally maybe but what good is that?

Daisy Fulkirk is 20 years old. Daisy Fulkirk is autistic. Daisy Fulkirk is doing a degree in Higher Education. Daisy Fulkirk lives independantly with Personal Assistant support. Daisy Fulkirk is a nom de web. Can I add another one? DaisyFulkirk is amazing

I've just gone downstairs and couldn't find something that I put in the cupboard. I went berserk. I said to Mum "where are they?" and I was almost in tears because of it. "Oh, I've put them over here" she said. I screamed "don't do that, don't move them, I can't handle it" and I started to shout again. She thinks I'm mad and on some level, I know I shouldn't be doing that but I can't handle things not being where I put them because I compartmentalise them in my brain, I need things to be just so because it helps me to cope. To her, it was something that was moved to somewhere she needed to put them but for a moment it was as if my world was coming in on me. I'm still panicky but calming down again. I said sorry, I seem to say that a LOT.

Yes, very much like me sue45. I also find that if the words are in a font (and layout) I like then that helps too. I can't read blogs if the font is too small or the words are bunched together real tight. It all becomes like a blur to me then.

Hiya. I said sorry to Mum right after I wrote that and she looked hurt and I just said "look, I know what I said hurt but I didn't mean it to, I just can't say what I feel inside the way others can. If you could look into my heart you'd know there was no malice, it's just when I hear something in my head and then say it, it all comes out bollocksed!" That says it all really, when I speak it comes out as ranting because I'm aware that I can't say what I want to say verbally so I panic and then I speak louder and louder and it seems like I'm shouting but I'm not, I'm just panicking plus I don't have the intonation I need and instead of owning it, I get angry at her. I'm sure this is what Tyler is doing. I can't do hugs

I've been watching Monk for the last few days and was saddened to hear that Bitty Schram who plays Sharona resigned from the show because she asked for more money (apparently even the Guest Stars were being paid more than her) and she thought that if she complained during a series (the Third one) that they'd relent and pay her but they didn't, so she left. I still like Monk but I won't be able to watch it with the new person in it because I liked Sharona's part so much. She brings so much to the series

I just went next door (he's currently in Mum's room propped against the wall) and said hello and checked on him. 'He' makes me smile

Wow, read the synopsis, looks good. I'd like to see that. So much better than the standard Hollywood fare which bores me rigid. I find what others term 'dull' exciting

(((((((hev)))))))))

Mum bought a Henry vacuum cleaner the other day and I keep chatting away to it, I guess because it has eyes and a smiley 'face'.

I was once told that I must be an 'old soul' because of all the things I have to contend with. The theory being that those who are 'young' have the less to cope with because everything is so new. So, not sure really. All I know is (and this from a supposedly hardened Atheist .. lol) I have definitely been here before.

Take forums like this or news on the BBC website, no problems at all. Hand me a book though and the words start swimming in front of me, can't deal with that at all. Small paragraphs I am okay with but great big slabs of text and it's no good at all.

<'> <'> <'> Tylers-mum <'> <'> <'> If it's any consolation, I often say things that can seem as if I'm being mean but I just don't really know how to express emotions the way I need to. This morning, I came away from talking to Mum and knew I'd made her feel bad but didn't know how to remedy it, so I came away feeling bad and so did she. I know I need to go down and say something but don't know how to. You're loved by Tyler, you can be assured of that <'>

This year I had to have 2 root canals done and 2 fillings and although I hated having them done, I was also getting the first niggly pains of toothache and I'd rather endure 4 or 5 sessions of 20 minutes each than a whole world of pain that raging toothache brings. You're in my thoughts <'>

Hi there, If you go a way down you'll see that there's a Monday Pet Loss Candle Ceremony:- Pet Loss page In Europe: Central Europe - 10:00 PM GMT UK - 9:00 PM GMT On Monday evenings all across the globe we light candles in memory of our pets. It is a very healing ritual with no adherence to any religion or creed, just a simple lighting of candles to bring us all together. While there is an on-line Ceremony in the Chat Room every Monday, the Candle Ceremony does not have to be done on-line. Each of us can light our candles in our own way, and privately, but since we share a common love and since most of us do light them at the same time, we are joined in love and in spirit. More here <'>

Not only does he think he knows it all he also likes to shout people down who don't swallow his view of the world and seems to enjoy hogging the limelight and interrupting others for an extra second of airtime. As you can see, I loathe this media-grabbing pseudo-intellectual buffoon.

What did he do to make you go off him? I once met a guitarist I admired and he was so obnoxious, ill-mannered and egotistical that I've never been able to listen to him since. I shall make a note not to meet Gary though I am off to see him in support of B.B. King's final UK tour in April. ***Okay, I must add both Ted Turner and Andy Powell from Wishbone Ash.***

I especially loved the flea one Thanks for those <'>

Apples (apples and pears = stairs)