Mother in Need

You could ask for the statement yourself, this doesn't have to be done by the school.

Why did he keep covering his ears? You say it is a sign of stress? Could it have been the stress from starting something new, ie that afternoon club? If so, going to the club and being able to manage it (and you were there to insure his success and enjoyment) would have taken away the stress and it might then have been alright for next week. Either way, if a child shows signs of stress, it's the school's job to find out why, and to do something about it if they can. Not punish him. That's my point of view, anyway.

Very interesting and useful information in that link Sallya, thank you for that. When you write those letters to Headteachers and Gvernors, do they have a legal obligation to answer back in writing? I am asking this, because I wrote them regarding my sons illegal exclusion, and they never wrote back. Neither did the head when I wrote to him last year. He does seem to have gotten involved as things have somewhat changed for the good now, but I am stomped as to the lack of courtesy in answering. and ofcourse, I don' t know how aware both the head and the Governors are in what has been going on with my child.

Fiorelli, I didn't mind at all! It's quite interesting that nobody can quite put their fingers on it...shows how she is trying to befuddle me...now I know she's even 'making up/adding to' her 'titles' when she shouldn't, only shows she's a real old fraud maybe she is a philosophy teacher, or does it just mean she has a very philosophical outlook on life? Ooh, I am sooooooo impressed.... nope Oh yes LKS, nice one. Must have taken you a while to come up with!

Can't he do most of his work in the resources room, so he doesn't get so exhausted from doing it elsewhere where there are too many stimuli, and where other children don't see him being set apart? This situation is not helping his social standing at all,and hence his ability to learn to function in social situations. I'm afraid my son has somehwat of a stigma on him, some of the other kids are positively afraid of him; they must have seen his meltdowns at the busstop, he has never attacked another child at school, but as the kids are afraid they will not choose to be near him, whether this is in a lesson where they need to form groups/teams etc, or out of lesson time.

You mean that it's been out for a year now and it's only just beginning to be read? And it's not obligatory either?

Thanks.

Well, to be honest, I am not sure, Obviously I know him well, but if someone else would recognise him in that, I'm not sure. It is certainly very limited, and only covers part of his difficulties. Though they keep it short by saying for instance, 'limited social interaction skills'and then give a few examples of it. My main concern is more about what they're planning to do about it, that's the part that's the most unclear.

mmm, no, not particularly, about two are covered but not the rest. Providing 'a strongly structured and supportive learning environment, for instance, could mean several things, but then again, school will say that every child gets that anyway, which is not going to help him one bit.

Tez, the answer to all your questions is a very clear and unambiguous NO, NOT AT ALL, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE A CLUE, AND IT IS NOT CLEAR AT ALL (to my mind at least).

Yes please Phasmid! Tez, thanks for that, I've got a draft letter and printed off the info from Afasic, which seems pretty comprehensive. Now all I need is time......................................(did I mention my son only goes to school a few hours a day, and then not all days; I was so looking forward to a few hours to relax; thanks again CSA...) I am curious as to whether a blanket statement has been used, as most of what is mentioned under Provision could possibly have been taken straight from the Code, some is inappropriate and lots of stuff totally non-mentioned. How could I find this out?

I received my son's draft statement this morning, and apart from lots of concerns about the contents, it seems so small. I recall someone mentioning 11 pages; ours was only just over 2 (excluding the front page with his name etc). I would like to know, how many pages does your child's/children's statement cover?

I got one of those little cards from the NAS that explains AS/ASD, and on the blank side I wrote that he doesn't have to do homework - see the SENCO for more info. I think he only used it once (doesn't like to use it as it makes him stand out etc); the SENCO really didn't like this, somehow because of the card it was written on, but after putting her to rights no other teacher seems to have bothered him about his homework. Mind you, he's hardly been at school though.

My son is slowly being re-integrated at school (finally) and school now finally seems to accept he is AS... I was given a form yesterday to fill in re medical issues, but was told it was for the file only. So I sent them a copy of the health care plan form out of Managing Medicines in Schools and Early Years Settings, with a note suggesting they have a proper health care plan in place for him. This was sent back to me today with the note 'If you care to fill in the health care forms which you sent in yesterday these too can be placed on file'. They shouldn't be 'placed on file', they should be used and acted upon.

I have just received the draft statement, and I am sooooooo disappointed I thought that my fight would be over, as school certainly seems to have turned around some of their attitudes, but this draft is so vague He 'will need an Individual Education Plan' 'The school has a responsibility to provide D from its own delegated resources' 'access to a broad and balanced curriculum, appropriately differentiated to meet his needs' This is c**p, every child with SEN should have this anyway, what is so different about this? School made me feel last week that he would get 15 hours 1-2-1, funded by the CSA as of immediate, and the LSA told me that school would complement these to cover the whole week, so there was nothing for me to worry about. Yeah right. The statement says: 'To aid the implementation of the Individual Education Plan, initially this provision will be supplemented with funding to enable him to benefit from 15 hours per week of learning assistant support. The additional support will be closely focussed on his needs and can be delivered on an individual basis, within a small group or as in-class support, available to D as required. Additional resources will be made available to facilitate a re-integration programme.' Can someone please reassure me and tell me this is all alright and will give him the 1-2-1 he so desperately needs, and that school can't suddenly say that he is coping and hence the 'as required' bit makes it all disappear? How am I going to get a proper statement, re-write the whole thing from the very beginning?

Thanks, I thought as much! I assume the B Phil bit is her general teacher's qualification?

For the first time I've received a very short letter from the SENCO. I've received letters from her boss before, and she never bothered to state her credentials. This SENCO however, has apparently decided that those credentials will look good, esp as it takes up most of the letter. I'm not impressed though, I know her enough to know she should not be in her job.....oops, what did I just say? Anyway, now I am wondering what those mean, knowledge is power as they say. She signed the short letter with: her name, (Mrs). B.Phil. Ed. DAPS (spLD) SENCo could anyone enlighten me on what they stand for, and how they are related to SEN in particular? Thanks!

Keep pushing it PinkSapphireAngel, my son is 12 as well and school has never believed me, but their attitude has been turned around by the fact that the LEA is giving him a statement (I had to go around the school's back for this, they were sooo helpful - not) . Somehow they are suddenly believing what I have told them all these years. You will get there, I did and if I can, anyone can.

Ouch, HH, as you know that's my LEA................ let's hope they're going to surprise us, but I don't mind comparing notes once I've got the draft, if that's ok with you, just to make sure...

All so true HH, and very much describing our situation as well. And true again, the only help I have managed to get is by being such a 'member' as well. Why can't everyone simply do their jobs properly, and all this wouldn't be necessary....just moaning...mind you, with a proper permanent exclusion they actually get more education than by being illegally excluded...

Good news HH, and thanks for the reminder! I'd better ask for some as well. How does one apply?

Still haven't received any acknowledgement from the LEA, nor the proposed statement, but I suppose that will take them a few weeks to put together, or do they use blanket statements and just individualise them a bit?

HH, I don't think you over-reacted at all! I tend to send the same type of letters all the time (though nowhere near as well explained as yours). My ds psychiatrist has told me though, that it can have a detrimental effect at times; I have 'treated' him to a few of my letters, and they have been very useful, but he told me that I can be a very scary person and that those type of letters can send people into a protective mode, they feel they have to justify their own behaviours instead of really taking on board the information I am giving them.. that surprised me rather, i have never thought of myself as scary.. anyway, I thought I'd share that, as I can see his point there. I still would have reacted exactly the same way as you though, if a similar thing had been written in my sons home-school book. and oh yes, the power they have over our lifes, it is so enormous. If schools and LEAs just did their jobs properly, I for one wouldn't have lost my business and a good friend of mine wouldn't have lost her sanity (for real, unfortunately).

Paul, I was taken away from my mum at the age of 4 (for a very good reason unfortunately), and subsequently spent 4 years in a care home with my older sister, my disabled brother was fostered out. When my father remarried, my sister and I came to live with 'them'. How has that affected me? Enormously. Without going into my life story (actually, you know more about my past now than most people who think they know me well) it has affected my relationship with both parents. I have to add as well that I often wished I was back in that care home, due to the abuse I suffered later within this 'new' family. As soon as I reached the age of 18, I became independent and now have no contact with anyone at all. I certainly have no emotional connection left. As for putting my AS son into care, I reached such a low last year that on several occasions I got very close to driving him down to SS offices and leave him there. What stopped me from doing so was my fear that they might then take my other two children away from me as well, so for their sakes I battled on.

When an LSA was being hugged by a girl (about 14 years old), she held her arms at her side and didn't touch the girl. She told me afterwards that it broke her heart that she couldn't hug her back, but they aren't allowed to touch the youngsters at all. Awkward situation, but I can see the pro's and cons, and I have personally (back in the old days when I was still teaching) been accused by a child of hitting him when I only put my hand on the boys shoulder. Fortunately for me, the kid was a real troublemaker and hence no-one took him serious, as even though I was innocent, the upheaval it would have created would have cost me dearly.