Diane

My son does this for two reasons. One because he likes the way it makes him feel and when he is anxious. I know when it is due to anxiety as it is more intense and he makes a noise which he does not do when it is for enjoyment.

Hi Mandie Welcome. My son is also 14 and he was diagnoses Oct 2007. It has been and still is a tough journey for us. Maybe we could swop stories sometime. I understand how exhausted you feel and also how difficult it is to get people to take you seriously. Diane

Hi Lisa, Welcome to this site. I only joined a short while ago. The support is brilliant and everyone is so friendly. Diane

Hi Flora With regard to other people, I am finding that they become very cool towards us when they realise we have a child with ASD. I guess you could say they are shallow and not worth the effort. We were judged when we did not have a diagnosis and now we do we are still greeted with indifference. Like you say we are not missing out and still like to do what other families do. We celebrate the small steps that our son makes. My most recent was the fact that when i got home from work the other day he wanted to show me what he had been doing. This was a first he never shares his achievements with us. He had spent the day making play-doh on his own (we had done this together the previous day). I was over the moon that he had wanted to show me and look forward to him doing this again. What I will do with the rainbow colours of play-doh I do not know. For now I will enjoy looking at them and what celebrate its meaning.

Hi Everyone I just want to say thank you to you all for your support and sharing your own personal experiences and feelings with me. I feel that I have friends and an understanding from you all that I have not had before. I feel somewhat over whelmed by it at the moment. You are all very special people and if I had time I would reply to you all individually. So just to say thank you once again and love to you all.

Hi Thank you for the recognition that working with children who have ASD or other SEN can hinder things. You are right it can help with school.Unfortunately my sons school sets things up and expect him to go to them, I still have not got through to them that they have to take it to him for it to work if that makes sense. He is unable to attend school full time due to his anxiety levels. I feel fortunate that the inclusive resource have set up a mechanics apprenticeship for him starting in September but even this was a battle to get school to agree and it will be an on-going one. I am in a catch 22 situation with it as it can only happen if he attends school. That is a whole other story. Yes a big problem is that the kids in his school do not understand. Sorry I'm in tears. How can something so simple be so difficult for people to understand.

Hi Welcome to this site. I have just recently joined myselff and I nolonger feel so alone with my woes.

OMG Diane I'm so sorry, I meant to reply to your post and had clicked the edit button my mistake (I'm still getting used to these extra buttons the mod's have. Gosh. really really really sorry. You had posted a lovely reply to everyone too. What a blunder Not only will you eventually accept it Diane, but you'll start to enjoy it and eventually forget that things aren't as you planned... ie.. it will become the norm for you, different but 'normal' . I've often discovered that outsiders to my life have perceived us as 'living under sufference', when in fact to me this is our life, and I can't imagine it, nor do I want it, to be any different. Yes, there are reminders that things are different to families who don't live with ASD, but different does not mean to me that we are missing out, or that we have lost anything. Eventually you will feel the same, you've just got to ride out this difficult phase, which as I said previously, is very much a grieving process. Flora <'>

Thank you all of you who have responded. I have taken all the positive things that have been posted and taken them onboard. I feel I need a little time for reflection. I know I will visit this site on a regular basis. Knowing that their is a whole community of people out there willing to share and support is a wonderful relief. Thank you once again.

Hi Flora Thank you. I guess what has changed for me is I always thought that if I gave him the right suppport he would grow out of his problems. The diagnosis means it is for life and he will always have dificulties in certain situations. I guess non of us want this for our children. He is still the same person and I love him just as dearly. For now it hurts. Like you say time is probably the answer.

Hi Thank you for this. Yes I always knew something was not quite as it should be but I always told myself he would understand better when he was older, but of course there are somethings he still has not got the hang of. I always managed his behaviour and got him to where he needed to be or so I thought until he went to secondary school and that is when it all went horribly wrong as I guess it does for so many children with ASD. Since January 2007 we have had the support of a brilliant clinical psychologist CAMHS and more recently inclusive resource. Our time with support from CAMHS is coming to an end although the inclusive resource are supporting us to keep it going so we shall see. If it is withdrawn I know I will not cope just now. If they would just let me find my feet a bit more I know I will be ok. I have a lot of knowledge and have worked with children on the spectrum but this does not help with the emotional journey. I guess I need to work through it as I am sure you have all done or are still doing. My famiy are spread far and wide so no immediate support. I feel very alone with all of this. My son was and still is very angry. as long as we don't talk about it he is ok. He does not want anyone to know that he has it. His school attendance is poor and CAMHS and inclusive resource do a wonderful job of keeping the EWO off my back. School in my opinion are not proactive they set things up (so they say) but expect my son to go to them no amount of telling them to make the first move makes any difference. I really do not think they understand. Just now I feel as if I have let my son down.

Hi Everyone, It is good to find a sight like this. I have a 14 year old son who was diagnosed with Aspergers in October 2007. Although there is plenty of evidence to back up his diagnosis I am finding it difficult to come to terms with. Emotionally I am not in a good place about this at the moment. Can anyone tell me how they have managed to be accepting of their childs diagnosis. I want to be ok with this but just don't seem to be able to be. Help!! Diane