Diane

I had not thought of it as repeating year 11. Thank you. I will look into this.

Hello everyone, It has been a while since I last posted (Sept 09). I have a 16 year old son who is in his final year at school. He attends a PRU for kids on the spectrum. It is small unit 33 pupils. Since he has been going there he has had a very positive experience. He has been there a little over a year now. Our problem is this. School have applied for funding to keep him on another year as he is not ready or able to access further education. County have agreed in principle that he and some others do need this but are not going to fund it as they say it is too expensive. They have accused the school of trying to be a sixth form, which they are not. What they are doing is addressing the needs of the children and giving them the support they need so they can eventually go onto college. I am about to pen a letter to various key people and would like to hear if any one has had a similar experience and what they did. Thank you all in advance

My DS is a very talented in the music department and yes there are quite a few famous peeps in the music world who are on the spectrum. My DS could tell you them all but alas I cannot, he has told me but I cannot recall any of them.

omg was totally flying and walkin the walls??? when my son was young he would do this if we gave him phenergan. He is now 15 and when we give it, is usually as a last resort and it has the desired effect. we are waiting to see a phsychiatrist about medication.

Hi there, I too have expereinced school thinking I was an over fussy parent and over protective. Do school know you are waiting for a diagnosis? Is your son on School action plus? I would insit on a meeting with the SENCO and the head and put in writing your concerns before you go so they know exactly why oyu need the meeting. They need to know your do not feel you are being taken seriously and that your son is not being supported in the way that he needs. You could always contact your special needs officer at county. Our parent partnership are brilliant (I know in other areas this may not be the case) they will go to meetings with you and make sure you get what you need if they cannot then they will help you get it. Good luck

If your child will not go to CAMHS try asking for them to do a home visit.

Huge

Hi Joybed, You need to find time to spend time with your daughter doing something she is interested in that does not involve the boys in anyway. You could try and arrange a special time once a week and then anything else that happens is a bonus. My daughter ended up having councelling from CAMHS as we did not recognise fully the effect that living in a home with sibling who is on the spectrum was having on her. It was hard teaching our son that our daughter needed time with just her mum it was a long haul but now I just say to him girly time and he understands. Our daughter is happy and coping and not afraid to express her frustration to us about her brother. Life is much better all round because of this.

tranquil

All emotions can be mixed up. I think one is excitement and fear. Like just before you throw yourself out of a plane and hope the chute opens or opening night at the theatre and you are performing for the first time. You are not wrong in what you see. We all come across people who are angry and do not know what the cause of their anger is (or the cause of there tears or happiness). It can be because they have not understood a situation or have been treated badly. If it is because they are scared then the anger is to protect themselves against further harm. It is not good trying to reason with someone when they are angry as can misunderstand your support. It is best to let them calm down this can take quiet a while. Approach them again and try and explain your position and ask them to explain why they were angry. Personality has a lot to do with how people react in any given situation. what angers one person will not worry another. What complicated individuals we are. Even though we understand facial expressions and gestures we do have to ask what the cause of ones emiotional state is. I am not sure if I am causing you more confusion or helping.

Hi Bensmum2 I am afraid I do not have any advice to give. Just wanted to say I am thinking of you and hope that some how things turn around for you.

I can identify with a lot of what you have to say with my DS. The explosive behaviur was in away easier to deal with when he did this but have not seen this for a few years now. He just completely shuts down and hides nor only in himself but behind the furniture etc, etc, Thank you for starting this post szxmum and also cat and bid. I too hate watching my son do this as he will also stop eating and he is already one of lifes stick insects so for him not to eat has dire consequences quite quickly. I have been on this sight a while now but it still amazes me how good it feels to know that I am not alone with my worries and concerns.

I like your word fwibble. I am going to add that to my words I like list. thank you.

Hi Kim and Andy Welcome to the forum. Hope you get what you want for your little chap.

Allowing him to have medication when put this way does feel more comfortable and of course you are right, if he had an ear infection or some other illness that needed medicine to aleviate the problem you would allow them to take it. Sensible thinking is so easy if you do not let the emotions get in the way. So I need to learn not to let my emotions get the better of me. So I am in for a battle with myself. That should be entertaining. Emotional reasoning vs Rational thinking. hmmmmmmmmmm!!! I was going to decorate this announcement with some emoticoms but they do not seem to want to participate in this post. GRRRRRRRR!!!!!

away

Sorry you have to put up with the noise of such frivolity so early in the day. :bounce: When we lived at a previous address our next door neighbour was a screamer!!!. Trying to explain to our kids what was going on now makes me laugh. At the time it drove us nuts. I think there are certain noises that are best kept between two people and really should not be shared with neighbours or the rest of the street. So sorry I cannot help but laugh :lol: I am sure that is not what you want to hear either!

Thank you so much for sharing you experience with me Mumble. I do understand that my sons anxiety is debilitating and we call him 'last minute.com as he will quite often agree to do something and at the last minute will be unable to follow through. we accept this without question. If he can do do what has been agreed we take him away from it. I do understand what you are saying about others not understanding about anxiety. I do sometimes get frustrated but not so that he would know. Your post has taken away some of my anxiety. thanks for the warning that it could be a long journey but none the less the right one and one with a positive outcome. I know how desperate my son is to do things and would like to take the edge of things for him so he may do just one of those things that others find so easy. Having tried every strategy i have ever come across to help and support him the only untried solution has been the medication one. I think for any parent putting their child on medication like this is a hard decision to feel comfortable about. All I can do is try it and if it makes a difference then wonderful if it does not work for him then it will be ack to the drawing board. I just keep asking myself what have I not done. What have I done that has caused him to be so anxious that he cannot sleep. The rational answer is nothing he has AS but the emotional answer is somewhat different and not one that I can share on here.

For my DS it is music, music, music. Mainly guitar and drums. Also fish. He loves art and loves to hate Hitler and the Queen can that come under history. Most people are not interested in finding out about what they dislike but not my son. Strange child!! I think we can count science as well because when ever there is news about flu or cancer etc etc what he does not know can be written on the back of a postage stamp. I do not think Ima being wildly helpful with my answers. I just wanted to join in.

My DS has a lovely psychologist who is going to be at every meeting he has with the consultant psychiatrist. At this point i do not want anyone to come to the house as this is his safe place. His down time from everything and everyone. I suppose it is sanctuary from the world. I am going to see if i can take some pictures of said lady and her office which is close to the one he goes in to see his psychologist. I am hoping I will be allowed to collate a passport information pack on the psychologist for my DS as I know this will help him not to feel so anxious about meeting with someone he does to know.

Hi one and all My Ds did not go in the end. He let me know half an hour before his appointment that he could nto go and meet the psych. I phoned CAMHS and they asked me to come along anyway. My sons psychologist came to the meeting and was brilliant. The suggestion put for war has been for Risperidone but only a small dose once in the evening. An appointment has been made for the beginning fo August, this should give him take up time and calm down time. He still tells me he wants to do this so I shall go with what he wants. Roll on August. As for me I have mixed feelings about it all. Is it the lack of sleep that makes the anxiety worse or the anxiety that makes sleep more difficult. Does medication really help the anxiety caused by ASD? what have others experiences been like?

story

When my DS was younger I tried to work part time and I went through friends who thought they could cope to childminders who thought this also. I eventually found one (after two years) who was able to get a long with my DS and she had other children but it worked well. I did not work full time so it was only for a day or two a week. It used to tear me apart sending him as he used to kick and scream. I am now glad I did not give in. I know I could not have held down a full time job. although he is now 15 I still only work part-time and fit it in around his schooling. This is the best fit for all of us.

My DS has an appointment with the pshychiatrist at CAMHS tomorrow with regard to medication. His psychologist is going to come a long to the meeting to give support. I have gone down this path as this is what my DS wanted or so he told me and now he is doing a complete u-turn. For my own sanity I need him to sleep. I know the psych won't perscribe him anything without seeing him. I have told him he does not have to speak to her as his psychologist will be there but she has to see him. I have said he can come in the room so she can see him and them leave. No none of this is good enough. I am tired, emotionally drained, pulling out my hair, You guys all know how it goes and feels. Why oh why does anxiety make them so stubborn beyond belief. Now I am going to rant!!!!!!!! :wallbash: He does not like his new taxi driver He refuses to have his eyes tested He has new clothes for aparty he won't go to. If his x-box game so much as flicker the wrong way they have to go back to the shop He trying to be independent but cannot do it He is 15 growing tall and hormonal As for me i have lost my sanity Let me know if I have missed an emoticom that sums up how I feel about life just now

I would take this further. The SENCO should only have commented on education as documented in school held records about his attainment levels and if he is not achieveing them why. But only stating facts not her personal opinion of your home life. As for all the confidential information you received concerning other children, I think this is appalling and someone needs to be kicked up the backside for allowing this information out in to the public domain. I am sure the parents of the children you now know about would complain if they knew what information you had. From what you have said I am truly sorry you have been put through this. Bid is right get a copy of the school complaints procdure and take it from there. Good Luck!