Thompsons

Welcome There does seem to be a lot of boards/forums around for parents of children with ASDs, but I'd say you're in the right place as there's both adults and children with ASD's here. I'm 18, suspected Aspergers (I don't like saying I'm an adult ) with a 7 year old brother diagnosed with Aspergers and I find everyone here very helpful and there's lots of great info for the both of us.

I've taken it also and got a high score. Obviously it's not a diagnosis, but I guess it's a good starting point for people who suspect it.

Thank again for all the replies!! It's given me a lot to think about and I'm in a much better mood now.. It all felt so jumbled up in my head I didn't know where to start. If that makes sense I'm not entirely comfortable with seeing her again. She makes me a little paranoid. I go home and analyze what she's said and wonder if there's a hidden meaning behind any of it. I guess because she just doesn't seem to 'get' me. I have an appointment with my Social Support Worker tomorrow, I may mention it to her. She's very supportive. She's taking me into the community and getting me used to a variety of social situations. Plus I get on with her. She lets me work at my pace.. When I was doing the CBT before and was given tasks to do, ect. it just felt like too much at once. My skin picking got worse to kinda compensate for trying cut down on my counting/routines. It's not that I don't want it. It just honestly doesn't seem to work. I was even given the highest dose of medication I was allowed for it and still nothing I was talking to my Mum about it earlier and she also reminded me that they do get things wrong, i.e. when my psychologist at CAMHS told my Mum she thought I was delusional and had the early stages of schizophrenia. It didn't develop into anything (no voices or hallucinations which is kinda the key part to it) and she couldn't work out what was wrong. She said she was a little stumped and said I had an 'unknown psychosis'. Then when I moved to adult services they said that they could find no pyschotic symptoms. At the same time my little brother was having problems and his school referred him and he was diagnosed with Aspergers. My Mum of course, researched it and found that it fitted me perfectly too. She mentioned it to the adult services and they said they thought there was a good possibility, especially as they couldn't seem to put a name to my problems. So they referred me. Bethlem Hospital accepted. And here I am now. But with a psychologist (I haven't been seeing her long) who just dismisses it. It's so frustrating!! Everyone seems to have a different opinion. Perhaps that's why having a diagnosis is important to me. I finally want some peace of mind. Thanks again!!

Thanks so much to everyone that replied. Every comment is very much appreciated. That make so much sense to me. She knows that my morning OCD routine is centred around my appearance, but I guess she hadn't thought of that. She seems to think that I should have no awareness of other peoples thoughts, so I shouldn't worry what they think of me. I feel that I worry about the way I look because I'd like to fit in. When I was 7, I took to dressing like a boy because my only friend was male, so I copied what he did.. I've heard quite a bit about girls 'imitating' to fit in and I think I probably do that - I'm 18 now and had no help my entire childhood, so I've sorta had to learn for myself how to behave socially. I also happen to be a little obsessive with make-up This won't affect my assessment in anyway, it's not really got anything to do with my psychologist. I'm not finding her very helpful to be honest. She also told me that she didn't think the cognitive behavioural therapy was working because I 'don't seem to want to get rid of my OCD enough' and that maybe I should stop and come back to it when I want it more. That was a little disheartening also. All in all, I feel worse after going to see her, which I really think defeats the object. Also, Mumble, I think you're completely right, I was just starting to understand myself and look at my difficulties in a whole new way and now suddenly I'm back to being unsure again. It's playing on my mind a little bit. I find it hard to push it away and forget about it, so I'm feeling a little frustrated right now! Thanks again x

Thanks again.. I'm going to wait for her to have her check-up and hope that they say something to my Aunt. I mentioned it to my Dad (her brother) and he said that he thought she would be offended and that I should mind my own business My Mum on the other hand completely sees where I'm coming from, but she also feels that it's not right at the moment to say anything.

As I've mentioned before, I'm awaiting my assessment for Asperger's Syndrome and Dyspraxia at the Bethlem Royal Hospital in September. Today I went to see my psychologist, who has been attempting to help me with my OCD. At the end of our session, she decided to tell me that she didn't think I had Asperger's.. I asked why, and she said because I have a sense of humour (apparently Aspies don't get jokes) and I like to do my hair and make up (she said Aspies don't care about their appearance).. Is this right? She then proceeded to tell me that she thought I had deep emotional difficulties. Keep in mind she did say that she's not qualified to diagnose me with an ASD. I mean, I don't get it, I tick every other box, but because I'm girly and enjoy humour I can't possibly have it? If I don't then, I don't.. It's not a huge deal, I guess. I just thought I'd finally found other people who were just like me - it was surreal how well I thought it fitted. My little brother has Aspergers and he has a sense of humour - so is his diagnosis wrong too? He's exactly like me as a child. There's the physical issues I have, I have terrible co ordination and balance and I suffer with incontinence, but my doctor can't find a cause. What's more, I've had behavioural issues from age 2 upwards - why would a two year old have emotional issues? I thought that's something that you kinda get with age and experiences. Sorry for ranting.. I just feel so confused I'm not sure why it's bothered me so much.. Thanks for reading x

Sally - Thanks for your comment and input into the situation.. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a hearing problem, as she will cry at loud noises and she does look when you call her name. My Mum has tried to explain about mine and my brothers Aspergers to my aunt and uncle, but she said that they seemed uncomfortable and didn't really ask any questions about it, so she wasn't sure how to bring autism into the conversation and so she left it. My Dad's side of the family tend to ignore it really (unlike my Mum's who have researched it and are always interested in how we're doing with things) which is a shame really because I think they're the side of the family that we get it from. Maybe there's some denial? I remember when my Mum was having concerns about my little brothers behaviour and she mentioned it to my Grandmother (Dad's Mum) and she simply said "Oh no. He's exactly like his Dad was at that age." My Mum and I both think my Dad has aspergers, and once after assaulting a doctor, the doctor dropped the charges as he thought that he may have a mental problem, but he refused to accept it and so he lives a pretty solitary life despite living at home with us still. So, in short I do wonder if my Dad's side of the family just isn't very accepting of these things. Part of me so wants to say something, because I think now, that even if she hasn't got an ASD, she's a long way behind other children her age and she may need a little extra help. Thanks for your reply She can be affectionate.. She's a bit of a busybody, she likes to run around grabbing everything, so she doesn't have too much time for affection, but then I guess most two year olds are into everything She does pull my aunts hair and pinch her face a lot.. I wouldn't say she hates being touched, but she did go through a phase of only wanting her Mum to hold her. And she does still cry if she sees someone wearing a hat - not sure why! She shows emotion - she shows frustration and happiness, though she doesn't have a proper laugh as such, she mainly squeals. I think she can make eye contact.. I'm not too sure as I don't make much myself, lol. Other than the other signs that I listed previously, the only other thing I noticed about her was that she didn't really crawl, she kinda skipped that and she also hates loud noises. No one in our family has classic autism that I know of, but I do know that my Dad's cousin had a little boy that died as a child and I know he had a learning disabilty of some kind, but no one has ever said what. She recognizes her Mum and Dad's faces, but if you say to her "where's mummy or daddy?" she ignores it or looks blank, she doesn't seem to know that's who they are if you know what I mean. My Mum agrees with me that she thinks something is wrong, but we're unsure how to approach the subject really, they don't seem very open to listening. She does get upset quite quickly and I mentioned earlier, she does hate loud noises. I'm not sure about bright lights, I've not noticed. She sleeps very well. Although, when she is tired she will fight it a bit and my aunt has to rock her off to sleep. But once she's asleep she sleeps right through. I don't really see many similarites to myself as a baby and her. I was quite advanced for my age. At two years old, I pretty much spoke normally, as did my brother. The only thing I can see a likeness in, is the temper tantrums. I know a lot of two year olds can be a handful, but my Mum's always said that I used to bite and pinch a lot seemingly for no reason and I know my little brother did too - he had a terrible temper very young. At the time, I didn't realise that most one year olds don't throw things at you deliberately! I think it would be good to see if there is a problem before she starts school. The earlier you recognize it, the better.. But I just get the feeling that my aunt and uncle don't want to even think about it. I understand that it's difficult for any parent to come to terms with, but I'm worried that they might get angry if I suggest anything. My aunt does seem to make a lot of excuses for her. Thanks again for your comment x

She sounds a lot like me.. I know what he drinks, buys from the shops, ect. It's the most wonderful feeling when he smiles at me, but at the same time, if something doesn't go to my liking, it's awful. I cried for a day straight when he got a girlfriend I will admit, I still have days when I've happened to see him and then for the rest of the day he's all I can think about. I think there probably is a low self-esteem issue.. I've never had a boyfriend in my life. I've had a few people take interest, but when they discover my little 'quirks' they change their minds. I guess, deep down, I desperately want someone to like me, and to have someone to love in return. Because I often get jealous of other NT girls my age because they're everything that I'm not. I wonder if your daughter is feeling a bit low on confidence too? My medication I take twice a day and then I have behavioural therapy once, sometimes twice a week. I feel like I didn't really have much choice. I started my medication when I was 14. I had developed a phobia of eating, so I was very ill and in hospital. At that point, I just felt like I was dying, and I was ready to take anything that they said would make me better/help me. The 'stalking' behaviour wasn't really a main issue when compared to the others that I had, but the medication does help it a little and obviously my psychiatrist is helping me too; it does become a main priority when it involves someone else like that.

I've just started another round of cognitive behavioural therapy with a new psychologist for mine.. Maybe you could look into that? It does seem to be a pretty difficult thing to treat. I've been under the mental health services for almost 5 years now and my obsessions still take 5 hours in the mornings I don't do the biting of my hands thing, but I do pick little holes into my skin constantly, this all OCD related. I guess it depends on the severity. I was told to begin with that my OCD was the worst case they'd seen, then when they began to suspect Aspergers as well, they said that the combination of the two may actually be making it worse and almost immune (they tried me on the highest dose of medication I was allowed for it and it still didn't work) so I don't know if that will be the case for your son or not. It'd be interesting to hear from any other Aspies with OCD to see if they've managed to conquer it.

Ooooh, I think I'll have a look at this Thanks! I'm gonna tell my Mum also, I know she'll be interested.

Thank you both for replying She doesn't really have any other way of communicating. Perhaps that's why she gets so frustrated, she'll often run to her Mum and pull her hair or pinch her face. The only thing she will gesture for really is food. She's very food motivated - there's nothing that she doesn't like. Everything goes in her mouth, edible or not. She'll often take us by the hand and lead us into the kitchen, to show that she wants food, and she will reach out for things she wants too. So I guess, maybe there is a little communication there, but not much. She doesn't socialise with other children yet either, I'm not sure why my Aunt doesn't take her to playgroups and things. However, I think she is due a check up at the doctors sometime soon, so maybe they might say something. The only thing they mentioned last time was that she's very small for her age and that they wanted to keep an eye on her growth - I've not heard of this being a symptom of autism though. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I don't want her to think I'm being critical at all, I'm just worried. My Aunt doesn't really mention the fact that she's not talking at all, despite the fact that I know she has got baby books, which should list the basic behaviour of two year olds. She just doesn't speak about it, so maybe she does have some worries herself and just isn't sure what to do? I dunno.. Thanks again!

Hi, I have another question.. Maybe one for the people more experienced with 'classic' autism? Just to give you some background information - As I've mentioned previously both myself and youngest brother have Aspergers. And my Mum and I are pretty sure that we get it from my Dad (he's a whoooole other story, lol) and I can see AS traits in his father also. Now my Dad's sister has a little girl (my cousin), she's her first and only child and we love her to bits. But I'm a little concerned. I haven't mentioned anything to my Aunt as I don't want to seem like I'm interferring. My cousin is almost 2 years old now and she hasn't said her first word yet. Would this be a symptom of autism? Could anyone here tell me a little about their autistic child when they were toddlers/babies? My aunt just seems to think that she's shy I still think she should have at least attempted to say something. She doesn't even make baby talk. She'll squeal occasionally, but that's it. She also seems to be behind in other areas: she can walk now, but she can't wave or point yet and she doesn't seem to understand a whole lot. I tried asking her things like 'where's your mummy?' and she just appeared to ignore me. I tried reading a simple baby book to her, but she wasn't interested, she just wanted to suck on the book. Could this be autism? I'm just thinking about the genetic factor is all.. Do you think I should try and approach the subject with my aunt? Thanks x

I'm not sure I have any advice, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.. I'm 18 years old - I also have an obsession with someone who was kind to me at one point.. I had thought that it was linked to my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but I'm not so sure now. I have some 'stalking' behaviours I guess, which I am getting help with amongst other things.. Like Cat said, I now understand that what I was doing is an invasion of a persons privacy and is not right. I'm not violent and I certainly would never hurt him. Do you think your daughter would be? I also used to hang around by his house waiting to see him and other stuff which I'm too embarrassed to write about But I do see that I'm obsessive over it. I wonder if your daughter knows or if she's in denial? What is her main reason for waiting at the bus stop? Is it just to see him? For me, it was just that. Once I saw him or he acknowledged me, I was in a great mood for the rest of the day. I attributed it to the OCD as I don't like obsessing over him, it causes a great deal of upset, but I can't help it. Much like my routines and rituals from my OCD. I will also admit that sometimes I had to stop myself and remind myself that he is in fact a human being - I think I sometimes looked at him like a possession/something I'm saving up for almost It's very odd. I'm on a fairly high dose of medication at the moment, which actually works pretty well with regards to this situation. I'm able to block him from my mind a lot more now and it's not a big deal really anymore, it's more like a crush I guess. I'm not sure about your daughters aggression.. I have a terrible temper. But it doesn't flare up very often at all now. Good luck

Welcome!!

Hi Wendy I'm an 18 year old girl with Aspergers (my official assessment at Bethlem Hospital is in September) and I am also very shy. I don't do well in social situations and I don't have any friends.. I have a social support worker who has just started me once a week at a group for people with mental health issues, to get me used to socialising. I wonder if there's anything like that that could be done for your daughter? I know I need to start socialising as I am very isolated and I would like to be able to go to college or have a job, but am unable to because of my difficulties at the moment. I go to the group with my support worker as I don't feel comfortable going on my own yet and we've started off slowly, with me only having to go for 20 minutes. We'll eventually work the time up a bit, and hopefully I can go on my own too. I find people my age really don't understand me and I get very intimidated; I'm more comfortable with chatting to some of the elderly members at the moment - it's a start. How about something like a pen pal? I find it so much easier to chat online or write than to actually talk to people. It may just boost her confidence a little

Welcome I've been through something similar myself.. I was only excluded the once and that was aged 4 from my Pre-school for being aggressive. That should've been a red flag right there. I had problems with school my whole childhood, but when I got to 12, I started to refuse going and if I was to go, I refused to go in the classroom and so I worked in solitary. It was all so stressful that I became very depressed. My Mum then made the decision to home-school me. Which was great because all of that added stress was gone. I could get on with my work, take breaks when I needed - everything was just so much more flexible. Not to mention that there weren't any kids around to tease me Have you considered home-schooling or maybe a special school that can deal with her needs? My little brother (has Asperger's too) is having similar problems also. He's in Lower School right now, but we're looking into special schools for when he leaves as we don't want him to go through what I did.. I think the amount of mainstream schools that really understand and cater for ASD's is few and far between Hope your meeting goes well x

Thanks so much to all who replyed, it's very much appreciated! Lisa - thanks for the link, I think I'm going to apply to take some GCSE's too I feel a lot more motivated, now that I've looked into this a bit - thanks again!!

Thanks so much everyone!!! I think I'm going to choose an Open University course They look really good and it will be great to start doing something productive. I'd like to get some GCSE's also - I wonder if that's something that maybe a local college can arrange?

Hi, I'm hoping maybe someone can point me in the right direction.. I'm 18 years old and currently unemployed, I've never had a job, I've never been to college and I've been home-schooled since I was 13. I'd really like something productive to do with my day.. I'm unable to work or go to college for a number of different reasons, firstly my OCD rituals take 5 hours in the morning, so morning's are really difficult for me, and secondly I can't seem to cope around people at all. I just seem to have panic attacks when I'm in a room full of people, and I don't want to be looked at or spoken to, so work and college just aren't options right now. My psychologist is giving me CBT and medication to help with the OCD (as you can probably tell, it's not doing much - I've been trying to get my rituals down for 4 years now ) and my social support worker has found a weekly group for people with mental health problems for me to join - I only have to go half an hour a week to start with, I started on Thursday and I hated it but what worries me is that things just don't seem to be improving or moving along. I just can't see where I'm headed and I feel a little stuck in a rut right now. So what I was wondering is if there are any courses that I can do at home? I think it'd be good to have something to focus on as I don't do much with my day at the moment. I'd love to do something with animals - veterinary nursing would be my dream career. I just don't know where to start, it's all so overwhelming. I was hoping that someone here could maybe give me a starting point or some suggestions - I'd be very grateful! Kimberley x

Welcome!

So pleased for both of you I also had an eating problem and it is a big deal when you're finally able to try something new and expand your diet. Hopefully with each new experience he'll gain confidence and before you know it, he'll want to try all sorts

Of course I don't mind I'd really like to be of some help, even if it is only in a tiny way. The first time I was ever offered help was when I was 12, and it was recommended by my school. I had a little help, but I really just wanted to be left alone. When my Mum home-schooled me a year later, I stopped getting the help. Then when I was 14, I developed my phobia of swallowing food. So there was nothing left to do, but get some help for everything because I wasn't going to survive otherwise. My Mum got the help, but I did agree, because I knew I'd just waste away otherwise - I couldn't live in such fear anymore and not being able to eat anything, I was making myself physically ill and I hated being in hopital so much. But I really don't recommend leaving it that late. I should've had professional help from the time it was first noticed - I was two/three (I had major behavioural problems, but no one could work out what was wrong and my Mum was very young and wasn't sure what to do) because I've had to live with it by myself for so long it eventually all became too much. So I guess maybe, the fact that I do want to get better is helping. But, I'll be honest, the thought of not having any rituals terrifies me. It's such an innate, natural thing, that I can't imagine my life without them. I've been in therapy for almost 5 years now and as you can see, the OCD aspect of my life still hasn't changed a great deal I do actually have an appointment with a new psychologist on Monday to see if she can find any new ways of helping me, so we'll see how that pans out. Maybe you could discuss the benefits of getting help with your son? There are plenty of positive things about it

Hmm.. I guess it's possible that compulsive behaviours are made worse by chemical changes in the body. My obsessions get worse if I'm anxious, and also they worsened a whole lot when I hit 13 and became a teenager. But, like I said, I have to do my ritual every day no matter what. I've always had a morning ritual, at least since I can remember (I remember doing it at 4 years old) and as I've got older unfortunately it's just gotten worse (I'm up to 5 hours in the morning Exhausting.) but I've never missed a day of counting and rituals as far as I can possibly remember.

Has he been diagnosed with OCD at all? Most of these (with the exception of one or two) sound like OCD - I completely understand. I have severe OCD and I do a lot of these things, so while they do seem a little bit odd, please know that he's not alone with these things. I have cognitive behavioural therapy once a week to try to help me with these things, maybe it's something you could look into? As for medication I'm not sure. I take two prozac a day, but it has no effect on my OCD whatsoever - I was told this may be because the OCD has been heightened because of the aspergers and so it seems to be almost immune to medication. I really don't know the cause.. Yes, mine gets worse with anxiety, but it's something that is present EVERY single day - even when I'm feeling great. Oh - also if he's washing his hands 'til they're raw, try and get him to put some sort of cream (E 45 maybe? It works well and it's odourless) on as soon as he's washed them if you can. My hands got so bad that they had to be wrapped in bandages because they were just like open wounds I really don't recommend letting it get any worse! Best of luck to you and your son <'>

Hi Another 18 year old aspie here. I haven't had my official diagnosis yet either - mine's booked for September. I'd been with CAMHS since I was 14, where they did diagnose me with OCD, but they seemed to think that I had a schizotypal personality disorder. It was only when I was moved to the adult service where they did a new assessment and suspected aspergers, combined with my youngest brother being diagnosed with it around the same time, that I am getting the right help now. Hope the assessment goes well! Look forward to seeing you around.