NobbyNobbs

hmm, we had a few blobs of snow, but nothing much so far, its looking good for late thurs/friday though. i got more snow than anyone could want when i was living in america. 3 months solid of snow layered over 2 inches of sheet ice, snow days announced at 9am when your first class started at 8 so you were sitting in a freezing classroom for 20 minutes before giving up and falling over too many times to count! that said... i could go for some more snow

its a tricky one, and it isn't just invisible disabilities, i think its a general young thing. i'm often on two crutches due to recurring problems with my ankle. i have been told to stand and give my space to someone with just a walking stick more than once! its not like they could miss the crutches, and since i can't bear any weight on my ankle when its bad i'm far more disabled than someone who uses a stick for support. a considerable number of elderly people think they are automatically classed as disabled just because of their age, and get so set in where they think they have a right to sit they just dont think past a young face. i can't cope with confrontation so i always stand up if asked, its pretty entertaining trying to stand on one leg on a moving bus i think you have to decide either to ignore the comments as they are based on ignorance, and you shouldn't have to be put out by their narrow-mindedness, or work out a set comment to make to show that you are disabled. i think if i really couldn't stand at all i would get out my disabled bus pass and say 'i am disabled, i have a pass' but not comment further than that.

okay, ive found it it is as follows - date when patient last seen - 1) diagnosis of the disabling conditions (do not include minor transient conditions) 2) please give brief details of hisory of condition(s) stating whether they are mild, moderate, or severe, in your answer. include details of any relevant special investigations. 3) day to day variation of the condition(s) (if any) including frequency and duration of exacerbations 4)relevant clinical findings - for example, visual acuities, hearing, ausultatory findings, peak flow, range of joint movement, muscle wasting, SLR, reflexes, extend of breathlessness. 5) treatment - current treatment including medication and dosage, response to treatment including control of condition and prognosis 6)please give details, IF KNOWN,, of the effects of the disabling conditions on day to day life a) self care - for example washing, dressing, feeding, using the toilet, continence, and ability to rise from the chair insight and awareness of danger c) ability to get around including pain, gait, balance, breathlessness and visual loss please add any furthur details you think would be helpful to the department when deciding on this claim hope that helps! i called the DLA line today to ask for an extension on my form because the deadline is christmas eve and i'd have to post it so far in advance and dont have my support worker etc. and they just said to send it in when i could and put a note on about why!

i'll dig mine out later and copy out the exact questions for you but... its the typicl DLA format, is a doublel sided page which unless you read between the lines is solely based on physical needs. if i remmeber correctly it asks for a list of medical conditions, what symptoms these cause (to which the ever helpful doctor put 'none') etc. its not very detailed and unless you know to attack it sideways on its hard to put anything in answer to the questions about mental issues. i'll go get my folder in a minute and copy it out so you know exactly.

trekster, if i put up some of the questions i get stuck on can you give me some advice on what they want? the support i was meant to be getting filling in this form is no good so i've got to plough through it all on my own, and obviously that didn't work out so well last time! the advice you've given mumble has been really helpful so far

as others have said there is a wicked chesty cough going round at the moment. both K and my father have had it. K was really rough for about 5 days and still has a gunky chest. i'm hoping i'm spared as i always wind up on steroids when i get a chesty cough. hope you feel better soon!

i'm very messy because i struggle to know where to put things unless they have a proper home. but my book shelf is very ordered. books in series order. i also compulsively buy books i dont want to read to complete the set. if there is a series of books i've never read but come across i have to buy all of them so that i can put them in order on my bookshelf (i have all the Garth Nix books, but i haven't read them for example). i find it very calming to order them, its the only cleaning task i'm any good at. when i was a child i was forever taking hundreds of books off the bookshelves and reordering them, my mom would walk into the dining room to find me sitting in the middle of a sea of books perfectly happy

i have a dx of AS and am unemployed. i have been since i left university about 17 months ago. i have applied for lots of jobs, including some that i know i was more than qualified to do, but have never got past go. i've had several interviews, one that was only because it was a council job and they were legally required to interview me (the job centre phoned them and reminded them of this fact when i didn't hear back. they claimed the letter was lost in the post ), one for the same job role i had done as a 16 yr old christmas temp but in a different store of the chain. i didn't get either job although both said i interviewed well. ive had summer jobs through university and 6th form. i worked for 2 years in a small family owned jewellers and loved it. when i left to go to university they said when i had started they were going to have to fire me because i was so withdrawn and didn't smile, but that when i got comfortable that improved and by the time i left i was better than any of their other staff. i was fired from my christmas job in yr 11 apparently because i didn't look like i was enjoying it. i also worked for the T supermarket several summers, but they took complete advantage of me, left me on my own on the tills at 11pm while the rest of the staff were out back gossiping etc. they then fired me while i was off sick with an ear infection. i came in to give them my doctors letter signing me off and they fired me

the whole point of a nurse specialist is that they are a specialist in the area. mine didn't just sit me down and ask direct questions about things, he asked very strange questions that seemed to have no relevance to anything and listened to the way i talked. he listened to what my mother had to say (she didn't think i had AS at that point) and made his conclusions from that. i saw him about 10 times before my assessment so he had gathered a lot of information which in turn sped up my assessment as the dx team didn't have to ask a lot of information. in my county there is one assessment team for adults that sees two people a month. i would imagine there is more for children, but that there are also more children who are being put forward for an assessment. echelon, has your son had an educational psychologist assessment? that would be a good place to start as people with ASD often have spikey profiles (a bit more evidence that he needs the assessment). you might also be able to be seen at the child development centre. getting the school to refer to anything they can will also help. i know a lot of people here got to the assessment because the school pushed for it.

i know a lot of parents of under 5s who will refuse the vaccine for their kids because it hasn't been tested on that age group... but thats cos its not possible to test on kids that young! that said the poor uptake could also be due to doctors surgeries which aren't implementing the plan properly. our drs sugery has just put up a sign saying 'if you meet the criteria for a vaccine ask at the desk for an appointment'!!!! i'm eligible, but probably had swine flu already so i'm not having the vaccine.

i know a lot of Camhs are using specialist nurses to filter the people asking for a diagnosis of ASD. it was what happened for me. i was seen by a nurse specialist who then put me forward for an assessment and contnued to gather information while i waited for the assessment. he explained that this method was because the waiting list for an ASD dx is so long now that its unworkable. the nurse specialist sees everyone and gathers the information about why the person is looking for a dx. in my case he then told me he was putting me forward for an assessment but it was a formality because he was certain i had AS, if he had felt i did not fit the criteria for ASD i presume he would have told me i would not have an assessment. by filtering everyone in this way the waiting time for an assessment was reduced from over 2 years to 6 months.

in my case - they used a medical report taken when i tried to claim incapacity benefit 4 years ago due to what i thought at the time was severe depression (i'd had to quit university although i did go back after). they refused my claim and without any other options i went back to university to try again. then they started sending me letters threatening me if i didn't attend a medical about my claim (i'd never been paid any money). so i attended, he asked very limited questions which he then used to answer completely different questions on the DWP form. when i put in the DLA forms they then pulled this out and used it as evidence that i was lying on my forms, claiming it was relevant because i'd said my ASD was from birth. it was completely falsified, stated i went to the pub, restaurant, cinema etc weekly, and that i could drive when i can't. the DLA tribunal threw it out as out of date and the DWP didn't argue. but it took 6 appeals to the DWP with them refusing to remove it to get to that point! my experience isn't most peoples, i dont know whats gone wrong on my case as noone can work out why they are behaving the way they are when they now have more than enough evidence to support my claim. the other thing i would say would be make sure you get a letter onto your file with your GP stating that they can only send off paperwork after your approval. i dont know if this is common with GP surgeries but mine 'pool' paperwork onto one GP who has a smaller patient load. he then fills in all the paperwork whether he's that persons GP or not. he filled in my DLA from stating that i was fine, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary on my file. the DLA have since repeatedly refused to contact my actual GP to correct this. the tribunal then threw out the GP report because it was incorrect... then the next tribunal (it was adjourned for more evidence) they put it back in (dont quite know how that happened) but ignored my diagnosis report because they said it didn't sound believable!!

just to warn you. if you state from birth the DWP can then use anything they have against you, no matter how old/outdated/irrelevant it is. i would really really advise getting as much help as you can. i didn't get help with my forms, filled them all in wrong and have spent the last 18 months going through appeals and tribunals trying to fix it. ive now given up and am redoing the forms with help (very expensive mistake!)

just to clarify my sister is 3 years older than me and is NT! it read a bit like i attacked a 6 year old

i have a full dx of AS, and at 24 ive only ever hit one person (my sister after she ripped a chunk of hair off my head in a temper a couple of years ago). i'm incredibly passive, to the point where it damages my mental health as i can't let out anger etc. i can be controlling to the point where my parents have to remind me that other people want to do things differently, but then i am able to back off and deal with it, i dont delibrately control against the express wishes of others, i just forget that other people dont see things like i do. my AS traits are not the ones increasinly adopted by the self-dx'd. i am not rude, inconsiderate, selfish, agressive, violent, volatile, inclined to break the law etc. i find it somewhat alarming that this is what people apparently think this is what AS is about.

firstly it is entirely possible to be both transgendered and homosexual. so a male changing to a female and being attracted to females, which would then make them a transgendered lesbian. therefore having a girlfriend doesn't say anything really. it is widely recognised that people who wish to change sex often have the wrong brain for their body, so using mental state as the criteria for gender rather than physical attributes would (possibly) put him as a female. so Brian would have a male body and a female brain. it can only be established what gender your brain is post mortem though as the gender differences are observed in the very centre of the brain. the first step would be to go to a GP, who would refer him to a mental health specialist with experience in transgender. theres no reason why being ASD would affect his ability to understand his gender in this extreme situation, people generally know their gender at a far deeper level than developed thought. in the same way, homosexual people generally know their orientation on some level for a considerable time before it becomes conscious thought. in my admittedly fairly limited knowledge people who have the wrong brain for their gender know very early on in life that something is wrong, even if they can't quite place it. this worsens at puberty when the brain is telling the person that -in this case- he should be developing breasts etc, when actually its obviously not happening. if you google 'dr money and john reimer' you'll find a horrific psychological experiement into gender reassignment. he thought he could reassign gender purely by raising a boy as a girl after a medical accident left the boy with no genitals. it had terrible consequences and illustrates the importance of correct gender identification. at this stage, noone outside the immediate family would need to know anyway so public perception doesn't matter. and if it should continue to a point where he is actively living as a woman forcing him to hide this for the sake of uncomfortable questions would be disastrous to his mental health. i would really advise you speak to a doctor, or contact a transgendered charity (probably will fall under LGBT as they are lumped together) who can give you some advice with how best to deal with it. it might just be a phase or some confusion, but its a very delicate balance and needs to be dealt with accordingly. you could also try to address why he hates his genitals. there might be physical reasons why he wishes he had something else, or simply that puberty is tough and he feels being a girl would be easier (what girl hasn't wished they were a boy while in the midst of PMS?) as well as that they dont fit with his brain. this link has a lot of information and advice on who to speak to.

personally, i dont like phonics. they're absolutely wonderful for most kids, but for some, they're no good and because the curriculum insists on using them teachers feel they can't teach kids in any other way. similarly the convoluted way maths is taught these days (number lines etc) doesn't work for some kids, it actually confuses them as there are twice as many steps to get the answer than the old fashioned way. have you tried working on things in different ways? pre-typing perhaps you could print off alphabet cards, and get him to arrange the letters into the word? i taught myself to spell using a hangman game, moving the letters around until i got the right order. that would seperate the spelling from the writing at least. if he can make some progress on a system like that then you could easily say handwriting is inappropriate for him

i probably have dysgraphia, but like everything else it wasn't picked up in school. noone can read my writing (including me!) it gets progressively worse usually the first 5 words you can work out and from that point on its anyones guess what i've written. i can't confortably hold a pen properly, it makes my fingers hurt and my writing is actually worse than when holding a pen the 'wrong' way. i write a for g, b and d get round the wrong way etc. i was constantly told off at school for delibrately writing badly - those first 5 letters made everyone think i was just lazy. their answer was to spend hours and hours writing out aaaaaaa bbbbbbb etc. i was still doing this at age 15. i was taught the mechanics of how to form letters very well, but i have to delibrately think of how to draw each letter in the word as i am writing it or it just comes out as a line or squiggle. its very frustrating! its interesting your comments about problems locating specific information on a page and copying from a document. these problems were picked up on my IQ test as being terrible compared to the rest of my ability, but the educational psychologist didn't say it could have a specific cause. i think probably in this day and age, the best option is teaching him how to type and getting access to a laptop/whatever written into his statement. apart from scribbling quick notes i dont write anything by hand, there would be no point since i can't read it anyway. i find it a lot easier to accurately get my thoughts onto the page when i type. i also have the voice recognition software, but found it irritating as i had to stop and correct it.

someone mentioned to me once that i could file something like a change of circumstance form for my DLA to see if that would change the decision based on new evidence. does anyone know anything about that? is there a time frame it has to/can be done? i've currently got that option (possibly) and potentially losing over £5000 in back payment if i get the award i (and the NAS/ASD specialist) think i should get. or i can appeal to the upper tribunal, but it will take a VERY long time, and theres still no guarentee that they'll change the decision. to be honest, at this stage i'm tempted to just give up and start all over again, getting my support worker to fill in the forms rather than me so they actually say the right things first time round. i just dont think i want to fight for another year over this when they dont listen to what i say and ignore my evidence. the NAS say i have a solid case for saying they did not apply the law correctly by ignoring evidence (they refused to accept that my NHS funded support worker was evidence of my need for supervision/support when outside), but i dont want to still be here in a years time arguing this. its already been 19 months, 5 appeals and 2 tribunals!

ideally you'd use a shirt with a collar (chopped as bid says) to get the mandarin neck as it sticks up unlike a normal tshirt collar. if you can't find anything else you could try staining a white school shirt with coffee/tea (not sure on that, ive done it on paper but not fabric, bet it'd smell!) to make it a grungy brown/beige.

linky would be nice and easy to make with a grey cotton shirt and some black felt. cardboard hat and you're sorted.

if you have cold hands you'll make good pastry as long as you follow the recipe. if you have hot hands you'll probably never make good pastry. when i was a small child my parents would fight to hold my hand when it was cold they're so hot. needless to say, i make rubbish pastry!

i think you have to call them and declare that you have a tv but are not recieving any tv signal. i did this at university when i only had my tv to watch course material videos. they can check that this is the case from outside your property if your tv is the only one in the house. you can't buy any tv/freeview boxes these days without providing an address where the equipment will be used so that tv licensing can check up on you. also if you are each paying rent individually and have seperate contracts with the landlord each person using a tv has to have a tv license (a nice way to rip off students). if you're moving out so soon, why haven't any of the bills been changed into someone elses name? legally you are liable to pay unless you declare you no longer live there and arrange someone else to be named. it would also be very difficult to force one person to pay more than their equal share of a bill unless it is an itemised phone bill where you can prove they are using more than anyone else.

the health visitor came today and said how noone in Ks family, noone in social services, not even her (HV) saw that there was anything wrong with her, and if she hadn't come to us she would have carried on being thought of as a naughtly little girl who would have grown into a very nasty adult. it also is a great help in accessing services and what she needs, as shes jumped from the behavioural difficulties track (which most foster kids are on) to the special needs track and things have to be done differently. its only been a day and already everything is changing, things we were told weren't possible are happening and the things we've said she needed all along are being put in place thanks for all the advice and support everyone

those figures must be regional. secondary classes round here have 32-35 kids per class. so adding a few more really does cause problems. one of my classes had 38 kids in and we literally didn't fit in the room, we had to sit facing away from the board 4 kids to a 2 person desk! you also need to consider if you want your son sharing a desk in that situation which forcing the issue may cause