KezT

From a parent's PoV, all those traits appear in my son - but by the time he makes it into full adulthood, (I expect) he will have found ways of coping with most of them. My brother (who is not DX, but is pretty obviously ASD imo) has a wardrobe full of exactly the same clothes from exactly the same shops and has done for 20 years (maybe slightly easier being a boy?), doesn't attend large social functions and I don't think he has taken a bath for 25 years (he DOES shower!). Regarding conversations - certainly one of the "defining" characteristics of ASD is a difficulty with following complex social interaction. Both my son & brother have one conversation at a time, with one other person, regardless of how many other people are involved. It has caused problems in the past - but people accept eccentricities after a while. My brother is likely to remove himself from a loud or difficult situation, whereas my son will try to rearrange it to suit his view of the world, usually with violent results. Brother has learned that doesn't help in the long run! On some specific points, my son is sensitive to heat - he screams he is being burned if I run a bath hotter than 27C (which is freezing to me - below body tempreture can't be good for you LOL). He also wears T-shirts & sandles in the snow! He won't wear baggy clothes, nor wool or most jeans. However, he can't stop stroking my velvet trousers - very inappropriate in some places! He also does not have a "compensatory genius" which it seems all scripts seem to like giving ASD people He is pretty intelligent, and I am confident he will get a job in IT or science or something like that, but he does not have any great abilities to counteract his social ineptitude. My brother works in IT, where he has found a very good job which has promoted him by default several times LOL. He is very good at what he does because he doesn't get bored/sidetracked/hung-over.

well, our school is great, and did their very best to be truthful - which meant it said a lot about how he contributes well when interested and how he is very knowledgable about some subjects and that he has "worked hard at" improving his behavour. Which translates as only joins in if interested in the subject and runs off otherwise, won't shut up if a topic he is knowledgable about and constantly interupts & corrects (usually incorrectly) the teacher, and with full time lSA managed not to get suspended this year LOL For our NT daughter they said she absorbs information quietly (doesn't particiapte in group activities), enoys PE (likes to run around & jiggles non-stop) and is still deciding which hand is dominent (can't write for toffee!)

We got ours last week - then again, they are pretty useless. they bend over so far backwards to try to be positive that they end up being full of cliche platitudes

Our optician has an ASD nephew - it does make things easier LOL He has never used eye drops on DS - who does wear glasses and whose sight is deteriorating rapidly (as did mine & DH's at the same age). But optomotry is a bit of an anathema to me so I don't really know when drops are and aren't necessary. You will have to check directly with the opt I expect. If it was a choice of screaming child for 24 hours every 6 months or losing his sight, I would definitley opt for the screaming - but if it is just one of those things they usually do, but not directly necessary in his case then it is worth having a bit of a chat about how ASD affects him and that they are in effect barring him from using the service by insisting on the drops, which under DDA is of course, illegal.

the OT may be the correct person to do this assessment - there are some who specialise in ASD and MH. it's not just about putting handrails in for old people you know LOL. My sister is a MH OT - but she only works with adults and has said she doesn't think there is really any provision for child ASD as it doesn't fit into any current categories She has a couple of adult ASD's as clients - they have mostly been passed around from piller to post for several years before she finds them - Adult mental health says ASD is not a MH condition, Education points to thier high IQ's and shrugs their shoulders and SS say they won't attend if they staff are abused verbally or physically! It is worth asking CAMHS for the OT's CV to see what kind of work they have done before. These are usually considered public knowledge docs.

thanks for the replies. Still deciding what to do with AS son. He is not showing any symptoms yet, and I am certainly not giving it to a physically healthy child as a prophylactic! DD is really not looking that ill at all tbh. However, I have given her the tamiflu - she's NT so unlikely to be high risk, although at only 5 years old, it's young to hand out drugs willy nilly! DH has started his - that was the main reason I bothered to contact the doctor at all - he needs the tamiflu and I needed to have spoken to a doctor for work Assuming AS DS gets it, I will see how things go, but am edging towards the thought that he should just sweat it out unless he shows really awful symptoms.

OK, so we have swine flu in the house. ho hum. it's not the end of the world The kids are being prescribed tamiflu (so has husband as a prophylactic (sp?) measure), but I don't really see why....... Ok DD has a mild dose of flu. she has a slight tempreture, which comes down with parecetemol, and is resting a lot - but has managed to find enough energy to play computer games for a couple of hours! If it wasn't swine flu, and therefore probably punishable by the death penalty, I would have been tempted to send them allto school and see how it develops during the day reading up on tamiflu, there are questions about its use in chilren and neurological effects. Considering DS's volitile nature at the best of times, it seems an unecessary drug to give IMO. The NHS seem to just be handing it out to anyone who suggests they may be a bit under the weather - our was prescribed by a locum who certainly didn't bother to check any medical records, as we had to explain why we wanted the tamiflu for husband. I'm wondering whether I should bother giving it? am I being a bad parent by not giving them drugs that could help them get better quicker, or am i being a bad parent by giving them drugs that might harm them? any advice welcome

I agree it would have been difficult to go on before dx - that was an awful time! but we have had plenty of time to come to terms with & understand the dx now - I know it is nothing to do with my parenting:) In fact, we had to take youngest NT daughter with us to the assessment as we had no child care, and she kindly did a perfect demonstration of a well-parented NT child for us LOL I think the psych was ready to take her home at the end of the hour! I have no problem about being open about DS's AS and as militant as necessary about what that means to us all, but the hardest thing about his AS is each time he develops a new behaviour, or starts a new issue we have to fumble around in the dark trying to fine the correct management technique. Hopefully this course with give us a whole load of ideas to shorten that process.

I have to say, they were good in the meeting today. There was a lot about it not being due to bad parenting (I never thought it was, cos TBH, no-one has said that about us since the very early years when DS's old school was in denial! Oh, and my mum- but that's what mum's do LOL) In a way I am jumping through their hoops, as I want them to stay on board & to see me as co-operative, but equally I reckon the course will be useful in a general knowledge type of way if nothing else. We have already attended the early bird course, which was ASD specific, which was fantastic, but also had a lot of irrelevant info in it. ASD covers a wide range of issues... On the plus side, the deliverer has been involved for 20 years and does have plenty of practical knowledge (hopefully) rather than just reading scripts. Although these things usually end up as discussions about personal experiences anyway:) A lot will depend on who else is on the course I think. I did raise my concerns that I have previously only heard of it for those with poor parenting skills (and usually poor life skills), and they were honest enough to agree there would be some like that, and some like us, and some with other issues. It is specifically for parents of 6-12 year olds, there is a separate one for younger and for older kids. I think more of the awful parents get sent on to the younger one. I consider myself sensible enough to work out which techniques will and won't be worth trying with DS. Some will be useless as they are based around empathy!!! but I have said that there ought to be professionals offering their knowledge to us, and I'd be a fool not to listen to them when they actually do that. As far as I am aware, the child does not attend at all. It is for parents only, so there should be no disruption to him. I'm hopeful it will be useful. And if not, its another bullet in my armoury if we need to ask for more.....

get in touch with your local council/environment dept. They deal with noise nuisance complaints. They will give your complaining neighbour a device which measures & records noise levels for a few weeks. TBH it has to be pretty loud to count as a nuisance, but anyway, it would prove you are not having parties etc.

The only answer I can offer is that there will always be kids like that around!!! We try to give DS information about what he should and shouldn't do before they suggest such things to him..... As he is the same age as your son, at the moment we are working on talking to strangers and sexual acts!!!! ie: whoemever tells him to, he should talk/play with/lecture strangers, and that he needs express permission to touch other people, and even then he shouldn't touch specific places I think soon we will be moving into the area of drugs - although he already has a good understanding of alcohol issues. Just say no is probably the best attitude to take with him, although I am totally against that message for NT kids! All you can do is try to prepare them for what is going to happen, cos it is going to happen

Well we attended the pre-course meeting/assessment this morning. It was very positive, and they are aware that DS is Aspie. As some other posters have said, any information on parenting techniques is useful information LOL. I am coonfident that I am a reasonably good parent, but we all have days and issues that are particularly difficult to deal with. Hopefully I will get something useful out of it for Aspie son, and other things out of it for my NT daughters. The day ahs changed now, so I can attend without taking time off work Update in Sept when the crs starts.....

but some drugs ARE licenced for children. How does that come about then?

CAMHS have sent us off on one - to "help with general parenting techniques Does anyone have any experience of this? TBH the only other people I know who have gone on one have been clients, and I wouldn't trust any of them to look after my NT kids for 10 seconds, never mind the Aspie one I'm keeping an open mind, as any knowledge is useful knowledge, but to attend I will have to take another stretch of parental leave - assuming I'm not redundant by then (actually, I'm expecting to be out of work TBH), which won't go down well with the employers...... Will we be shooting ourselves in the foot if I send hubby along on his own & keep work happy? We've had b****er all else out of CAMHS - although I got a refrerraL there a year ago.

IIRC disability rail card offers 1/3 off for a carer travelling with the disabled person. since it costs more to take a train than drive in most cases, seems a bit useless to me.

comes in yummy tasating medicine form. The small always reminds me of my childhood - my mother used it as a cure-all for decades

I discoverd a couple of years ago that my mother fed me phenegan every night for over a year when I was a toddler!!!!! AND I am not ASD (obviously not much of a sleeper as a child either LOL - I did have 6 siblings!) On the plus side, that was over 35 years ago, and it never did me any harm - I went on to live a normal life, passed exams, and have a regular sleep pattern eventually. If I have problems sleeping now, I still prefer a swig of piriton to any of the herbal stuff out there. Does the job and has no side effects. I even checked with a consultant immunologist I know, and he said that it appeared to be impossible to overuse antihistimines!!!! His advice to anyone who suffers any allergic reaction, is just take more I think on the whole, for occasional use, it is much simpler to give kids a drowsy antihistimine than get stuff on prescription. We always have piriton around anyway. If you are looking for an ongoing, permenent solution, you'd be better off discussing pro's & cons of all options with your Dr.

does he get the mobility componant of DLA? In our area, high mobility componant = automatic access to bus pass (sadly, doesn't work on trains here tho). We applied for my husband, who does have physical problems, but they didn't ask what cos we had high DLA mobility. I have been told I ought to apply for mobility DLA for my son (Aspergers) because he can't be trusted to make it past the garden gate on his own, but he's only 8.... I haven't got around to it yet But assuming I do, and he gets it, he would be eligable for a blue badge & bus pass, same as husband. Although I always assumed son would learn to drive OK - it doesn't involve any other people so he should be OK on that when he gets old enough:)

When we were discussing melatonin with our GP he said it wasn't fully tested/licenced for children, although reasonably widely used for ASD kids. The US packaging is probably reflecting that. If he has it at home, I am sure the US stuff is the same

The best advice I can offer, is just to be firm! Remind the paed of the family history, explain the traits you/your sister-in-law have seen, then actually ask for a full assessment. Ask who else will be involved. don't allow the Paed to say whether it is going to happen or not - just assume that it is, and ask questions about the provess. If they suggest he is too young, repeat again about family history, traits noticed and that you want an assessment. At the end of the day, you are the "customer" and they should do what you ask! Any paed who repeatedly refuses to do an assessment after you have firmly demanded one risks a lot if two years down the line you get a DX & decide to sue the orig paed LOL

My son has Aspergers - he's 8, nearly 9. The last year or so have just been harder and harder, with more and more problems showing up. the latest one that is driving us nuts is a tourettes-type yelling, interspersed with pretty much non-stop groaning, but his general behavour is pretty awful too. There are days when it seems things are going OK, but more when I just don't know what to do with him! Today has been one of the latter. the question I have is - where do we go for help? Surely there are some professionals out there who can help us out with at least some management ideas? He is in a main-stream school, and they are really good with him. he has his own LSA who will be staying with him next year. But the summer holidays are looming...... he was suspended last year, and I called social services to find out if there was any help available and was (eventually) basically told to f off!!! We have had some contact with the local NAS, but that is really geared up for severely autistic children, and as I work, we rarely make the meetings which are held on a weekday morning. I did also manage to get a referral to CAMHS, but was very dissapointed when they also basically said they did not see any need to see my son as he had not (yet) shown much violence or criminal behaviour. I am not an idiot, and have read up as much as I can on the internet & in the library etc and we have adjusted our lives around the fact that he needs extra care & attention and explanations etc. But there is only so much research one person can do. What I need is to be able to talk to someone who has been there before, many times, and tried different tactics - a professional of some kind!!! Does that person exist? and if so how do I find one? Any advice would be welcome.

But there isn't a kids board. Is there? I assume it would be moderated by adults anyway?

I don't see how that is relevant to the need for kids to have their own topic board? The whole website is fine - but not child "friendly". Where can they go to just talk about their ASD? To discuss their feelings/thoughts/opions with the peers? To ask questions of people who can understand rather than instruct? I may be old & a parent, but I can remember knowing that anyone over the age of 21 couldn't POSSIBLY understand

Oh no - we haven't had a Saturday yet! But he has weekend socks that he wears - so hopefully that'll be OK? It's not the worst thing in the world

I know - i don't WANT to buy more tho! They cost money y'know, and he really doesn't NEED more than 5 pairs of school socks and 5 pairs of non school socks, which is what he's got now (disregarding the 10 pairs of "I won't wear those" socks) I suppose there are bigger fights to fight - and Tesco's can have an extra couple of quid....... It's all my own fault for buying them in the first place. I just didn't think of it at the time! Ho hum, we live & learn. I wonder if I will ever be allowed to buy anything different now tho LOL