rainbow queen

hello yes it went really well -i was very nervous as the church was packed with people and my family came to watch. i didnt wear white -but a jacket and skirt the bishop was all dressed up in his gear -and i had to stand at the font with just 2 others to get bapistised-then stand with the others while we got confirmed,then we had holy commuion. it was quite overwhelming and emotional as ive been through such alot in my life and i felt this was a really positive new start for me <'> i had gifts of a bible and prayer book, tea and biscuits afterwards and chat to everyone. i also go everyweek now to take my boys to a service to which is aimed at children-and im going to get them both christened next-when its all planned. thanks for all the well wishes everyone <'>

had first appointment today on with camhs about my son but i was just present felt it went well-and he took all my notes off me to read and we did discuss aspergers-i told him how everyone else is saying it isnt ect......and he told me not to worry about that,or about school as they do not always pick it up ect,,,, going back in april with my son he even said he would talk to the other folk about him having another ados test again as he was only young last time i just wanted to know is there an actually test for aspergers that i could ask for as well-or will that all come under the ados test? <'> feeling slightly better about things now -but as i ve felt like this before then got passed off again im not going get my hopes up to high- [think ive become very distrustfull in all this ]

<'> many thanks for your replys i will see what happens at camhs tomorrow-let u know about the bike thing ect.....i was trying to say how unmobile he is at home ect.....as i read as kids are ....running odd ect... which my son dose but school have told me and ot hes fine mobilty wise which i cant understand because he will not get on and pedal little bike at home but his teacher has said shes seen him on bike and everythings like normal the senco lady was telling me i have to trust the proffesionals involved as they know what to look for regarding as,but she also said aspergers takes long time to show up....then get this she said her nephew has it and hes going through geting dx at age 43 which is exactly my point i dont want to wait till 43 to be told he has it anyway hes 5 in june i think they think its just behaviour issues and they are with me the mother in fact everything i told her she had a storey for to pass me off with as im a quite person-i take critism bad and start feeling everyones agaisnt me-which in turn makes me look more like its me with the issuses[which i admit i have some-most regarding men ] so im just going sit back a bit see what happens i got told about parenting course and i told her ive been on one -im not doing another told me to do a golden moments book with him and all the rest...........which i will try........just to see........and penny charts........... she also refused me home school book anyway it starts getting at you after a bit -its getting thats all i talk about so im going try to chill a bit talk soon RQ xxx <'>

<'> thanks to everyone whos helped me and for all the insight ive gained but just had meeting with senco and everyone is saying its not as-got camhs on mon so expect they will say same,i think i should just trust now and give up with it all,as i think they had enough of me pushing them,its actually back firing on me more so i guess it must be just behaviouril probs he has. senco said that the literal stuff with lang is to young to say its as,as all kids do this ect... and if its still present when older they may look into it . im totally gob smacked as they told me my son rides pedal bike at school and jumps and all the rest of it -in fact hes quite perfect so they cant see any probs-she even couldnt see why he should have an iep-although they done another.so thats it i cant deal with it anymore-when i read and hear about other people getting help it just upsets me more that im shunned. but ive learned alot about aspergers which is good as my nephew has been dx with it and its helped me understand him more.

<'> thats fantastic phasmid-ive wrote them questions down ,thank you very much.

hi hes 4 years old and only started in sept-im just jotting down stuff i want to ask, any more ideas anyone ??

my son has no dx of as yet and is on school action plus-i have never seen this senco lady-and feel i am kept in the dark with school,hes at mainstream. what should i be disscuss with her or asking? i know one thing i want to say is i think his day must be stressfull cause he has awfull meltdowns at home-finding it hard to get him up to go school,hates pe keeps asking me over and over about it,dislikes supplyteachers have trouble getting him to do homework. can anyone help me? i feel in no mans land as he has no dx-but im seeing camhs on mon.

i have been on several parenting courses in the past and yes they helped with some stuff -but it didnt cure my son and i still believe he is on the autistic spectrum. this must of made you feel very angry. i keep getting passed off as well-the ot was the last one but im refusing to back down-i wrote letter of complaint and she then said shes going have meeting with her managers about it all. im really dreading appointment mon at camhs-i hope to god that the guy will listen to me-and see what im saying i swear i cant take no more of this i really hope you sort it out <'>

<'> so glad you have had it confirmed ,must be huge weight of your shoulders [hoping this next week -will get closer to dx for my son ]. <'> <'>

just thought id mention it as it means alot to me at the present time. i am 30,and actually thought i had been christened as a baby in fact me and my sisters but it turns out it wasnt so as it was at a unitarian church and for some reason its not legal in church of england only found out last year when i was making enquires about getting my boys done-then my sister piped up that she had to be baptised again by bishop as of all the mix up but she hadnt told my mum in case it upset her. so now year on im finally getting baptised and confirmed at confirmation service at st .michaels church by the bishop of stockport. then i will get my boys christened.[think it will be in a private service not including all the church-due to fact my older son will most likely have meltdown over it[4],other son is 3.

nurse

thank you for the replys. i am starting to feel really uptight and worried about this appointment im going take all my lists and letters but im not very good at talking and i make things look better than things are-think this is where ive been going wrong plus it dont help that my son acts completely different in school so im worried this will go agaisnt me i got a book the other day called: ASPERGERS SYNDROME a guide for parents and professionals by tony attwood alot of the way he words things are just like what i want to say ect....do u think it is or isnt good idea to take this along and underline the points that my son dose?? i was in tears reading some of itbecause alot of it fits my son and he puts it so much better than i can explain-when i say things it comes out sounding that its not much,ie when i explain things to school-they keep passing me off saying yes all kids do that i was never like my son is as a child-my parents have told me that they have never seen anything like it, except my sis whos grown up son has now been dx with it and other things,but when he was alot younger my mum and dad didnt see half of what was really going on with my nephew it was kept quiet. dont know if anyone has this book but the bit on page 39 about child coming home from school fits my son perfect[amongst all other stuff]its worded so well saying about the pressure to conform leads to enormous emotional tension which like a compressed spring is released when child reachs home[mine the car ] almost jekyll and hyde. any advice?? about the book question much gratefull

there are times when i cant bear my son in same room as me-which is terrible to say -its usually when ive had to deal with rounds of arguments and insults and do this do that and 50 questions and extreme meltdowns i long for some peacefull moments but there are very few when my 4 year old is about even my poor 3 year old is a bag of nerves im getting really bad headaches with all the shouting ect.... ive never really been able to do much with him that ive felt throughly enjoyed about because he will always do something to ruin it but i love him to bits and never stop trying and hoping for him

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> my 4 year old talks to me like poo too,and expects everything done straight away my nerves are bad too dont know what to suggest but sending you some love and prayers <'> <'> <'> hope your alright hev xxx

<'> <'> hi tally you never mentioned what support you are getting? i take it from your post your husband is living elsewhere? i think you are worrying to much about him -you concentrate on yourself girl-your number 1 priority dont fall for his hardship storeys too right he can smell if he cant be bothered to wash his own clothes. i didnt relise u hadnt children -sorry. about the alcohol probs-my boys dad was also an alcoholic-and the truth is tally no matter how much you try and change him it wont work the change has to come from him sometimes the only time they change is when they have lost everything you can hang around for ages waiting for there promises to come true -they never do in the meantime your life is ticking away being utterly miserable and you deserve more tally. about the sleep thing u said about my ex used to do that too-keep me awake most nights,come home drunk accuse me of seeing other men,the list is endless you should write yourself a list of all things that are bad then write another list of all the good things you will attain by getting rid of him PEACE OF MIND is the best thing in the world-and you never have it living under his control A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP NOT FEELING FEAR IN YOUR OWN HOME ECT ........ even if they seem small things -they soon all mount up to the horror of what living that sort of life is you say you didnt know what was normal? is your husband the first man you have had relationship with? i also didnt have much experiance of what a normal relationship should be-thats why he had such a grip on me at the time. but when you break free you will relise that all that hes put you through was very wrong and that is not love. take care tally <'> keep strong

<'> <'> <'> poor viper know how u feel since incident in car park other day[i posted about in off topic] im not chancing going town again with my son so today i wanted newspaper anmd i can hardly get out of house just for that so picked me mum up so i could have her sit in car while i nipped shop-took me 3 year old with me and he was fine -left 4 year old in car screaming with me mum. feel like im a real saddo cause i have no life of me own too. im just a robot for my boys/slave. this will give u a laugh though this avo had enough of being stuck in so said we go for little stroll in nearby park park car outside gate we get out go for bit of walk then notice swings are down a hill[never been in this park before] i stupidly pick 3 year old up to try to go doewn it we end up on our arses going down the ditch lol lol its complete mud i couldnt crawl up on me hands and knees i was 3 year old was mortifed by all the mud on him but he still managed to crawl up hill lol i had to crawl to railings and drag meself up could see folk in field watchhing us-bet they were wetting themselfs watching it i started laughing hysterically i and 3 year old were borted in mud-looked like we been in pig stye my 4 year old was at top of hill looking at us saying in matter of fact voice "mum this isnt a good park is it-u shouldnt of brought us hear " which made me laugh more then all 3 of us staggered back to car all black-all over our clothes and shoes got back in car went home its quite unbelievable what happens to us.i had to laugh or id of cryed.

my 4 year old has no friends either-he talks about one boy but says hes only his friend cause they both have the same coat[my sons logic] he started mainstream in sept and is already being picked on i feel-hes coming home saying so and so is nasty to him and hes been pushed over alot/pushed and called a baby what broke my heart was i always say to him that hes a big boy when he has done something new for him that he finds hard-well i think he must of said this in the playground and kids have laughed at him and said your not a big boy[being as hes 4-there logic] and he cant understand why they saying it. this is a really upsetting subject which i dont know what the solution is but im not happy with the school in fact id rather he was in a different one. i feel so strongly about this and if my son gets bullied i will get extremly angry

my heart nearly stopped. i took him to town in car with my 3 year old just to go to waterstones to get book with book token voucher he likes to have a run round the shop then i couldnt get him out of shop -sat down and refused to leave we was walking back to car on pavement and he suddenly bolted other way and ran onto car park he started running round and all i could see was top of his head -other moving cars would not of seen him i screamed my head off i had to jump over a wall grab my 3 year old and sprint across car park screaming stop stay there but he didnt get it then this man near him told him to stay still and i grabbed him it was terrible he has no road sense at all then he had a melt down with me for grabbing his arm trying to get him back to car im very shook up by it all.i will also be writing this down to tell to camhs when i go soon along with the other list of things..........just one simple thing goes horribly wrong as a rule i stopped taking him town years ago for shopping but thought he could handle just going to get one thing but im not doing it again.

when i say i will be gutted if i get no dx for my son -it sounds wrong,what i am meaning after all this length of time struggling with him and the probs he has-i am so hoping that someone else will also see what ive been saying-as i feel let down by the others. i have now accepted the way he is -i just want it clarified on paper,as i am giving up after this-if this fails then im not going pursue it anymore cause its like talking to brick walls and im wasting my time .

letter came this morning with appointment-i recenltly complained about the ot report-so im thinking this has been rushed through as im causing more of a scene. it says for me to go on my own. im very worried-as i feel this is my last hope of getting any kind of dx-i will really be gutted if i dont get a dx from this[for my son] any advice on this ???

oh dear sounds bad -no idea what it could be only rats-it sounds awfull <'> <'> i detest flys so much-they give me the creeps.

oh and i forgot to put the only solution i found to all the trouble i had with my boys father was the no contact rule-because it stops u feeling guilty and stops you going back i ended up back about 40 times before i made the final break and i needed lots of help-i got help of the police[are they aware of your trouble?] i had panic button in house connected to police station-if pressed they came out straight away had police mobile phone alarm to carry in bag had regular contact with domestic violence officer attended support group and had outreach worker to do with dv who i could ring to talk to and see. had protection of the courts help of family and my boys have no contact with father at all[did try that but it was just excuse for him to try to get in my head again]. and dont feel bad for crying ,i cryed for months and even do now-it will take you time to deal with it and heal,dont be hard on yourself . if u ever need to chat pm me luv marie x

best of luck-dont get drunk or you may say something youll regret think your very good for dealing with it,i still cringe now if i see my [ex]boys dads exs lol apart from his ex wife who i get on well with

tally love -you shouldnt be worrying about him feeling very hurt what about all the hurt hes caused you and your children?? dont let him make u feel guilty check out the hidden hurt site/forum theres loads of helpfull info on there what support have u got so far in helping u?

ha jonathon i just looked at list of celebs and it says former member wascharles manson -that bloke who murdered folk says alot for them dont it