Pennygarden

Sally - you are wonderful giving your guidance so freely. I feel like I took the initiative originally, then dropped the ball as things seem to improve...but then new areas seem to have popped out of the woodwork! He doesn't have a statement, no. We had help from a Parent Support Adviser originally - this led to seeing the Paediatrician who gave an Aspergers diagnosis, but there was no follow up action here. The PSA and I met with his school on the back of this - the Head would not accept there was a problem but his teacher did, however signing the minutes meant she reluctantly agreed to the actions/support in class. His class teacher helped him, as well as the class TA, but there was nothing else, ie. no statement. Moving to Middle School, they were very ASD aware and talked a good talk on how he would be looked out for, helped, etc. To which in reality, there has been nothing. It's now that it is becoming an issue again and I can only see it getting worse as the work gets more complex. He cannot tie shoelaces..he struggles with buttons and zips at times, he cannot ride a bike and he can't climb a tree. He pronounces words correctly, but it's when he spells them out he seems to confuse letters out loud, but his mind has them correctly (more like dyslexia but generally his spelling on paper is ok). I too think he has learnt by memorising, hence the problems coming to the fore in this area now. Time to push for the assessments!

Hi Sally Congratulations on your tribunal outcome - I was reading many of your posts last night to glean all I could! Thank you for so much guidance too and I appreciate the time of night you wrote that! We have 3 tier schooling here -Lower (5-9) -Middle (9-13) -Upper (13-16) - he is in Year 6 in Middle School, so half way through and he would be due to move up again at 13. We do have a new Free School opening in September 2012 which are taking current Y6 and Y8 children - it will be a small school and son is becoming keen to change schools (he loves learning and the making friends issue seems to have subsided, but then we've spent several years working on that with phrases to use). We are going to another information evening in 2 weeks time to look at that option further and especially the SEN/ASD support. Dyspraxia was ruled out by the Paediatrician at the original assessment - even though his walking gait, clumsy running and all the other things are there - they are just not there "enough" if that makes sense. I've looked up Dysgraphia - this does sound closer with the handwriting issue. The other thing is when he learns his spellings - he often verbally gets letters mixed up but knows what he means, resulting in frustration as I correct him and he swears blind he said it correct anyway! Spelling on paper is good. He cannot explain how he learns the words - I've tried to understand it but apart from knowing it's not following the sounds of words, haven't got a clue! Son doesn't seem to display anxiety at school - he is well behaved and whereas he used to be very quiet too, he has come out of his shell and contributes to class discussions well now. I think this is where I need to know more from the school, as we've just had one Pastoral evening meeting with his form teacher in which all seemed fine, except this slow to put pen to paper. I think I am going to start with the GP for another referral and also ask for a meeting at school with the Head of Year - he can then get any problems from his subject teachers and at least I will have a start point of where they stand and know what I am up against! As he's already in the system as it were, should be easier to pick it up again than start from scratch. Is it worth writing to the LEA for an assessment with a view to statementing at this stage or wait until the pro's have seen him again? Many thanks.

That's exactly where it first started and now it's all his subject teachers. His reading is way ahead and his oral is very good with some amazing vocabulary. Now I feel sure his writing issue must be part of the Aspergers, but instead of being caused by change of classroom/having to re-settle as was previously thought in his last school, it is looking like that is just how his brain works. I think I will go back to my GP to get him referred to the Consultant again.

All sounds very familiar, including the physical side. He can have the facts in his head, just can't put them into a sentence and yes, he gets very frustrated at home with homework of this type. He has poor balance at times - often trips over, struggles with co-ordination in PE, bumps into things easily (have had broken little toes before now) and he still cannot ride a bike. The assessment had him walking up and down the room, which didn't show anything untoward really and he does pick his feet up more than he used to which has helped. Yes, I would say he has low muscle tone and the rubber around pen/pencils sounds a good idea to try out. He does grip tight when I've watched him write at home and we've tried different ways of holding a pen, but he always goes back to the same way.

My son explains it as he knows what's in his head but doesn't know how to write it - so forming sentences to put onto paper, which ultimately leaves him behind the rest of the class and he almost always does not complete written work in the lesson. When he does know what to write, he is also slow in terms of the speed of writing it - his hand/wrist aches very quickly. We have tried different pens within the school remit to no avail, including special grooved pencils (he is left handed). It's come to a head particularly as he broke a finger in PE a couple of weeks back trying to catch a ball, which hasn't helped!

Hi everyone It's been awhile since son was diagnosed with HFA (Autumn 2009 age 9) - result was his then lower school classteacher was brilliant, but he was never statemented. Headteacher resisted everything. He naturally progressed to Middle School in Autumn 2010, where all the visits and chats with the Head of Year settled him and my mind and he started off reasonably well. However, problems are starting to affect his schoolwork and now in Year 6, I need to step up to get him some help. After several wobbles, he has made some "geeky" friends and that helps him during the lunch and breaks which were the worst for him in the lower school. Now it's in the classroom that he has problems - one major one is his handwriting is slow - it was in lower school for the new year, but then he would settle in the January term and begin to catch up. This is now not happening and it's across the subject spectrum. His teachers comments when I say it could be part of his Aspergers are simply "well everyone has a bit of it in them" - not terribly helpful. Son is also struggling with the "less caring" attitude of the Year 6 staff too - he is finding them unpredictable and has become anxious about school with tears quite regularly outside of school. I'm hoping the wonderful and experienced people here can provide some ideas as to where I go or what I do next. We had the involvement of a Home Support Officer from the Council originally - she led from observing him at school originally through to advising to see our GP to get an appointment to see the Consultant through to home visits to help his Dad and I help him (social, communication and physical were the key issues back then). But he made good progress both with her and school, so she disappeared after concluding we were managing fine and we were left to our own devices again! Should I go back to see our GP to get us referred again and/or speak to his Head of Year? What would you suggest? Many thanks.

Fingers crossed all goes well for him and once he's settled, you'll know it was the right decision. Good luck for Monday!

Welcome I can't help with advice as I'm new to the world of AS, but I'm sure some of the experienced forum members will be along and post with ideas/suggestions and experiences. Hang on in there - sure someone will be along soon.

It's so good to read school has become a good place for her - definitely a cause for celebration and shouting from the rooftops! I hope the improvements to her life continue. Definitely a motivating post and shows there is light in the dark tunnels we travel to do the best for our children.

This is the book the Parent Support Adviser recommended on several levels : 1) To show to DS who may have ASD to see how much he relates to it (most, but not all) - the cat pics were really useful in keeping the situation light and some made him laugh 2) To see how much I related the book to DS; and 3) To show to family and friends that interact with him to give them a better understanding of 'his world' on the bits he related to. I was surprised (and maybe shouldn't have been) how much they related the book to him with alot of "oh yes, he does do that" I think DS is much more in tune with our (his) new dog - pupster sleeps in DS's room with no probs at all

Thank you for your comments, advice and support - it really does help me feel in the driving seat of something I am still so new too. I have kept a diary for some time now, this has become quite a crucial piece of evidence, as apart from being forgetful (I live by lists ) so many seemingly small things that happen or he does (or does not do) are significant indicators of AS. Also reading other posts, I am picking up other more subtle things that I guess I just see as being normal because he's always done them and is an only child, so difficult to know. Sally - Thank you so much for this, I am onto it! Kathryn - Our PSA is very on the ball. She phoned me after meeting with DS and with ex-OH still in denial mode, she has planned her strategy for steering the meeting with him and I later this week. She has warned me some Dads stay in denial for years after diagnosis. Karen - Thank you for sharing too, yes, I think I just have to accept that ex-OH might not get on board, but it means I am handling the fall out of his weekends away with him, where he is made to do things that now seem to be ASD..like showering and hairwashing/combing, big crowds, new foods and so many other things. Sometimes it is hard to get him to go as he says he'd prefer to stay with me, yet he does love his Dad and they do great father/son things together. It is such a comfort to be amongst people in the same or similar boat and I already share the frustrations many have gone or are going through. Chin up and a glass of wine is my tonic tonight!

Update... Following everyone's help on here, which I am very grateful for, we have had now had the school meeting. Attended by Headteacher, Deputy Head, Class teacher and the Parent Support Adviser. And me of course! The Head is still maintaining a dismissive stance (gone from "boys will be boys" to "its hormones you know"), however his Class Teacher (of 4 days a week, 5th day taught by Head) noticed anxiety and social issues in the Y4 class trial days last term and was more accommodating. The PSA was brilliant and she drove the meeting with note taking and an Action Plan Plus was drawn up (much to the dislike of the Head as everyone had to sign it). The PSA has had one session with my son today and will be meeting with his Dad and I later this week. The school however don't seem to be keeping to the plan - he is meant to be able to come in at lunchtime when the being picked on gets too much - he asked for this last week, to be told No, then a Y1 tried to strangle him..he ended up choking and in tears. None of this has been relayed to me by school, but by DS and a classmate who got the Y1 kid off of DS. The PSA is picking this up with the school to reinforce the Plan. Whilst we've been accepted for consultation/assessment by the NHS through our GP referral, the paperwork was lost, however long story short, we've been given a cancellation appointment for 14th October. So that's the current position and we'll see how things go in the coming weeks. I have to say, I doubt if the Headteacher would have agreed to the Action Plan if it wasn't for the PSA being involved.

Lynne - that is excellent, thank you. I am finding it easy to get lost amongst the varying services involved, processes and how it all fits together, so that is a great help. Will be talking to the Adviser at the end of this week, hoping to form the strategy for September with her support. Thanks everyone, I'm feeling more confident about handling this now, though I know its only the beginning and bound to be ups and downs.

Thanks again for your help and suggestions. Aunt wasn't around today, will have to wait a bit longer to interrogate her! After listing things that sprang to mind about his behaviour etc, I'm now separating those into home and school. I've started a diary going forward too. Hopefully that will all help for the meeting. Will the LEA accept private assessments? If they do that would presumably speed the process up and help, given the timescales for middle school applications are short.

Thank you for your responses and welcome. I have started to write down anything (and everything it seems!) that I'd originally put down to his personality/being an only child, etc. There are also areas that his teacher picked up with me on previously - for instance, he has always struggled to copy from the board and she gives him a handout of it instead. He is rarely able to complete work in the lesson - this is noted on all his school reports. So I will start a folder and highlight these points to build the case. There are also all the accidents at school - lots of tripping over, banging himself. In the last 2 weeks of term he had a sprained right ankle, followed by a broken toe on his left foot. He does have a noticably odd running gait too. School noted that my son made above average progress in the Summer Term which is great, but I also stopped working full time in March and was able to pick him up when school finished and he stopped going into After School Club (where the Leader was great and looked after him, but he was subjected to the usual name calling and being pushed around by one boy inparticular and often I found him in tucked away in a corner reading to himself). I wonder if this is linked to his improvement in class. I will contact the Adviser this week and update her on the GPs referral going ahead and request her to attend the school meeting. She is a great lady - kind, but assertive and has stood up to the HT with other parents in similar circumstances from what I know. Thanks Kathryn for the links - with 5 weeks of schools hols to go, I will make good use of the time in researching, reading, preparing and making lots of notes. A statement would be key to getting my son into the school that his one school friend will go to in Sept 2010- we are way outside of catchment and its usually oversubscribed. It is good on both a SEN and academic level. The Adviser mentioned working with my son on school transition, as I've made her aware of this too. I think I will ask in September for this process to begin, the worst they can do is say no. I've read about School Action Plans - Kathryn is that something that I could ask for if they say no to the statement process? My mum mentioned to me yesterday that I should also speak to my Aunt - although now retired, she was a teacher in mainstream, specialising in SEN. Today we are off to the local library and I'm hoping to find some more reading material. I am definitely on a mission!