ridvan

Hi there - It's been a while since I've been on here. I was wondering how your appointment went and whether you are any where nearer a diagnosis? Best wishes

Hi, I hope you don't mind, but I read your post out to my wife and she says she completely empathises with you! What does that say about the condition?!? LOL

With psychometric testing, do you have to be unemployed to get this at the job centre? Thanks

Hi, I do hope you don't have to wait too long for the assessment. Although there's some comfort in not knowing either way whether you'll be diagnosed, it's such a relief to get it out of the way. I dare not say how much I paid to get myself diagnosed - quite frankly it does seems quite ironic that you pay a tidy some just to get what has to be not the best news in the world! I'm pretty sure two of my brothers in north Wales have the condition. Good luck.

Thank you, everyone, for all your comments - really helpful indeed. However, when I said I've outed myself, I didn't actually mean that I've made a big declaration at work! I've decided that I'll keep it to myself unless specifically asked, simply that I initiated the process all on my lonesome, and have emerged at the other end with some kind of explanation for all the difficulties I previously experienced. I agree that making a declaration at work can be fraught with problems, and I wouldn't actually want people to make allowances for me. However, I have decided to get out of child protection social work, and to explore other opportunities that would satisfy my need for predictability but also to allow me to use my hugely analytical mind - I really have to get cracking at the job hunting business. On the home front, my wife has kindly told her mother in Essex, so that means that the entire population of that county know about me! I've told my brother in north Wales, and he wasn't surprised - we both agreed that he is Neuro-typical but that maybe my two other brothers have AS. Amongst friends in my own immediate vicinity, my dx shouldn't be an issue. I'm so glad that I've got the dx, there's certainly no going back, but I already find myself swinging from a little anger to a little relief, then some momentary denial. I guess I'll plateau at some point by which time I'll find myself in a better position all-round.

Well, here goes! I was yesterday diagnosed as having AS - what a surprise. . . . . NOT! And I paid a good wack for the privilege of having label attached to me to explain my alternative thought processes! There I was, trundling west on the M4 with my wife, coming back home after the diagnosis, when we cast our minds back to when we were making a similar return journey after Professor Fraser diagnosed our son some thirteen years previously! In all seriousness, though, the diagnoses is hugely significant for me, for it means I can focus what I'm good at, less at what I'm not good at, and I know I can get help/advice to overcome my deficits - if I choose to. I can now come to terms with who and what I am. Diagnosis comes as a great relief, and now I can plan for my future, and become less tense about myself. For all you parents of children with ASD or AS diagnoses, have you thought about whether yourself or your partner/spouse has any symptoms of AS? For all you late diagnosed AS people, how important has the diagnosis been and what difference has it made? Well, I've now 'outed' myself, and I FEEL GREAT about it!"

Following my son's medical, the DWP people have reduced his ESA - now I need to appeal, groan!

Hi and welcome! Perhaps you can give some of your profile in order to work out whether anyone has anything in common with you!

Sorry, the link is: www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Hi Why don't you the 'aspie test' at the link that follows - it might give you a better idea as to whether your have AS or not. Best wishes

Thanks for the feedback. I accompanied by asd dxs and the interview this week and it seemed to go quite well. Have to wait now for what the DWP response is!

Hi - I hope the paroxetine works well for you. I'm taking Mirtazapine for anxiety, 50mg, but taking half a tablet per day. Mirtazapine's working really well and I don't feel any anxiety as I did before, but the fatigue, boy, it takes most of the morning the following day to stop feeling tired! Maybe I'll research paroxetine to see what the possible side effects are.

Thanks for the feedback. BTW I found this website to be useful for anyone out there anticipating trundling along to a benefits medica in the near future: http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk. Not looking forward, to be honest, but I'll give feedback after the appointment with my ds this week.

Hi - I was wondering whether anyone on the forum has experience of attending medicals for Employment Support Allowance or Incapacity Benefit? I am appointee for my son who as ASD. I will be attending his medical next week, and wonder whether I should keep my mouth shut so that the doctor can get a true picture as to my son's difficulties. I had considered using the recorder on my mobile phone to record the interview because I just don't trust these people, like they have any idea of ASD etc. If anyone has any experience as to what I can expect, please would you let me know? Many thanks. Worried Dad in south Wales.

The questions on the online 'Aspie Test' might prompt you to think of some examples from your experience. My wife helped with the Aspie Test and was really forthcoming with examples too!

Hi Kerry I concur with all the replies to your posting. If that therapist puts avoidance of eye contact as the major contributory factor towards a diagnosis of Autism, my son wouldn't have that diagnosis, which he does. My son's eye contact is great with people he knows well, although less so with unfamiliar people, almost fleeting glances if you like. I believe that my son has learnt to make eye contact as he understands that's what people expect him to do to show he's paying attention, rather than it coming naturally or comfortable to him. As for me, as someone who is also awaiting a diagnosis of AS, I make good eye contact, but you know, it just don't feel comfortable nor does it come naturally! It's as if you have to make a special effort to show people you are engaging in conversation, rather it takes a deliberate effort which perhaps neuro-typicals don't need to. What gets me is, that you almost doubt yourself when someone not qualified, yet some kind of therapist, confidentally suggests that you couldn't probably have AS, as they say that you come across as 'normal' when you certainly don't feel it! Please, don't feel you're a fraud, and get an assessment! Best wishes.

My GP agreed that all the experts locally dealt specifically with children's developmental problems. Thanks for the suggestion about a list of consultants from the NAS, I'll contact them straight away before I part with my dosh!

Hi Darren - what you said about repeating to your wife what she had just said is something I've always been doing and I completely relate to you on that one! While she was always thinking I was nit-picking, I was trying to get clarity as to what she exactly meant! My latest learning about myself is that I'm very poor at relating what's going on in my headspace, feelings etc, whereas I also complain to my wife that I can't be expected to understand her emotions if she won't explain to me what she's thinking about! Talk about double standards! When she explains a problem to me, I just want to offer solutions, but she simply wants empathy and no solutions, so I simply can't win! Offering solutions is simply rational and logical, why oh why can't she accept my solutions! I also completely relate re your comments on social phobia; Like you I try to put out there a feeling of social self-confidence, but really I'm cringeing inside, and dreading being put in situation where I struggle to give a socially acceptable response! I did the Aspie test again, approached it with an attitude of visiting-for-the-first-time, and this time I scored 150/200. Although I really want an either-way diagnosis, the mere thinking of the possibility that I have AS is comforting, and helps me understand what I can and cannot do well. Cheers. Martin

Hi. Why don't you do the Aspie Test online? Ok, it might not be 'definitive' or even scientifically 'valid', but it may help you determined to find out one way or another? I scored high on this test, whereas my wife had virtually opposite scores to mine! You'll need to do the test to see what I mean! Anyhow, I'm now awaiting a private consultation with an expert. Go to this link to do the test: www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Further info - I finally heard from my GP who made his own enquiries into possible assessments locally, to no avail I may add. He's now handed me a letter of referral for a private consultation with psychiatrist down the M4 in Newport. Private consultation and payment big bucks here I come! Knowledge of knowing either way and as soon as possible is essential for me.

Hi Mark - Good to hear about your experience leading to and following your AS diagnosis. I am particularly interested in adults' experiences of AS diagnostic assessment, and I imagine that a separate subject on the forum would be useful. I am so glad that I'm now on this forum, as, until now, I've actually felt alone with my struggle to appear 'normal'. Great that you're on here! All the best. Martin

Hi Jannih, thanks for your response - it's somewhat reassuring to know that I'm not the only one to be in this situation. Keep us posted, won't you, with your progress on the diagnosis trail, as I also will. I will be 'going private', so hopefully will get quick confirmation as to whether or not I have AS, and then I can definitely leave social work and think of an appropriate move to some other area of work where I will definitely thrive!

This is my first posting, so Hi there people! I don't exactly know what led me to 'stumbling' on to a website with an Aspie questionnaire, but I did, and it gave me 'Very likely to a be an Aspie' score of 145 out of 200! Maybe it was reading an article in a national newspaper about the story of a 50-odd year old dad of a boy with Autism being diagnosed that did it. After years of slowly coming to terms with my son's Autism, I now know where he got it from! Talk about an 'Aha!' moment when I made the connection between my continuous struggle to appear and behave normal and Asperger's! But at 52 years, come on! I now kick myself that I've spent all this time struggling with life, and being in a stressful and chaotic job as a child protection social worker simply hasn't helped! I guess I must have successfully kept it 'under the carpet' and coped as best as I could all these years. I'm also already feeling sad and grieving about this poor individual who has battled all his life to feel accepted and acceptable. And what my wife has had to put up with!!!!!! E.g's compulsively buying new technology; pedantic about use of English and grammar; social phobia; simply not being able to understand jokes, to name just a few from the tip of the iceberg! Due to my heightened anxiety (have seemingly been struggling to cope with anxiety for years, and I thought it was just my job!) over this issue, I've arranged an urgent appointment with my GP with a referral for a private consultation with my nearest Aspie expert in Newport, Gwent - I simply need to know one way or another and as soon as possible, i.e. not prepared to wait several months to be told what I already know. Part of me feels a sense of inevitability, but on the other hand, I'm also frightened of a diagnosis and speculate that if it's not AS, I'm just plainly mal-adjusted! My wife is quite comfortable/satisfied with the idea of my having AS it makes so much sense, when you put 2 and 2 together re all my quirky behaviours and thought processes. This is perhaps a silly question, but does anyone out there have a similar story? Thanks.