bonbons

Hi, I have recent experience of this as my 15 year old DD completed her ADOS on tuesday of this week. Well, I say completed.....there were some activities that she simply didn't want to do, ones involving demonstrsting imagination, eg, telling a story from a book with only pictures, showing someone how to brush their teeth, and making up stories using objects....." I can't make up stories", she said.....but went on to tell them enthusiastically, how she and her friend love writing stories together!! I hope though, that they picked up on this reliance on her one and only friend to show her how things are done......the rest was really conversational, with her reactions viewed from behind a two way mirror, and observed on camera...presumably this was recording her as mentioned in previous post, and she was shown this set up prior to the test so she knew what was going on. The ADOS in her case, is to hopefully back up the dx of AS already given by a paediatric psychiatrist although CAMHS have their reservations about her professional opinion? A lot rests on this therefore, because of this difference of opinion as DD is currently out of mainstream education,in the process of being statemented, and, it is hoped, eventually found a place at a more specialised school.confusing and worrying time! we have a 2 week wait to find out what the results of the assessment are.....just hope that stubborn CAMHS can see what everyone else can see, and she goes on to get the much needed support that she deserves..... Good luck with your assessment....I would love to know how you get on as it's interesting to find someone else with AS DD of similar age! Beverley, Cheshire.

I am getting increasingly anxious for my daughter as she has her Ados test this Tuesday. My journey began with her about 18 months ago around yr 8 in mainstream high school when her anxieties turned into angry and aggressive behaviour.Prior to this, she had been naturally'loud', though not angry! She had always questioned her feelings of being 'different', and not ' fitting in', struggled socially, focused on her obsessions to make her happy, was subject to bullying, and basically stood out!!She has been excluded more times than I can recall due to being non compliant, abusive and aggressive, and has now been permanantly excluded under a 'managed transfer' to another, more specialised school. She struggles to see the points of view of others, cannot seem to ever learn from her own mistakes, cannot predict consequence of actions, and is very much engrossed in her own world!! Due to self harming issues, she ended up in a young persons psychiatric unit where, after many observations and the filling out of various questionaires and several interviews regarding her early years etc, the paediatric psychiatrist there concluded that she was on the autistic spectrum, probably aspergers ( strong traits).once discharged and back to CAMHS, who had previously labelled her as behavioural{ despite my regularly questioning this opinion!)' they very much dismissed her dx but,never the less, agreed to conduct the ADOS assesment. Can't help feeling that this assessment may be slightly biased as CAMHS seem intent on clinging to their original view, and unwilling to accept the professional view of another! Keep reminding myself that nursing staff/educational staff at ypc have spent hours/weeks/months observing her to see what we see, where as Camhs see her for 30 mins a month!! She is awaiting statementing so that a suitable school to help DS to reach her full potential, may be found, but am worried that if Ados does not reveal these traits, support may dwindle and she will end up back in the mainstream type of education in which everyone agrees she cannot cope!! does anyone have experience of ADOS in adolescents? Advice appreciated!

HI paula Likewise, I'm afraid I don't have any answers with regards to your school holiday chid care issues, but just wanted to say 'hi', as my daughter is also 14, and has recently been placed on the autistic spectrum and is currently being assessed for aspergers syndrome. After a year of CAMHS, who insisted that she simply had behavioural problems despite my raising concerns about her obsessions, her high anxiety levels, her feelings of 'not fitting in' stemming back to childhood, and her social difficulties, a spell in a young persons psychiatric unit finally led the psychiatrist there to believe that there was something else going on, and she has her ADOS test coming up shortly. Did your daughter have her dx confirmed using ADOS? She cannot currently cope with mainstream school, and we are at the moment, going through the statementing process so that a more suitable, specialist school may be found which will be able to meet her needs more fully and help her reach her full potential.My local Camhs are definitely not used to seeing girls with aspergers!! What are your experiences? How does she cope at school? Beverley. Cheshire.

oh Karen! The meeting was far worse than I expected!! Her school have decided after much debate, that they don't think that Daisy can cope with mainstream school and that they do not have the specialist help she needs, and so are looking to facilitate a managed transfer to a special education unit, hopefully in the local area!! I am devastated and so is she!! We had an almighty kick off when we told her the outcome....she didn't see it coming as usually, all she has to do is apologise and promise to try harder to follow the programme....her attempts at control of the situation have not worked this time. I am so worried about her future! Even if we could persuade her to give somewhere else a go....totally fresh start with staff who can hopefully help her to succeed and flourish,I worry about the effects such a move will have on her psychological well being.....trying to fit in....again, making new friends etc. A multi agency meeting has been called next week so things seem to be moving pretty fast. Have spoken to both Camhs and the educational unit she was with as an inpatient, both of whom will attend the meeting, and they both commented that it seems a harsh decision to make after only 2 weeks into the new programme...I will look at pushing for a statement for her from our end, as you have suggested, as someone else somewhere along the way has said the same thing!!.....uncertain times! Beverley.

Hi......After much anxiety, September arrived and a new term back at school. My daughter is currently being assessed for aspergers ( has traits), with the ADOS coming up on October 5th. Her school have taken many positive steps to help her get through the next crucial 2 years e.g reduced timetable, support teachers placed in lessons known to cause her anxiety ( leading to agressive outbursts), and regular sessions with a member of staff from a SEN background, dedicated to working on her anxiety/anger issues etc they really can't do more!! However, she has been back almost 2 weeks and has already recieved 2 exclusions for 'kicking off', although it must be said, not as severely as she has done in the past, and she has taken positive steps to return to class after absconding where before she would have just gone missing completely for hours!She has so far made little progress in starting her coursework, and the staff have so far taken a soflty softly approach to this, but she will be so far behind if she doesn't co-operate soon, and have said current difficulties stem from the gentle persuasion to move her on with this! She has taken art as one of her options as she has a real talent for it, but when asked to research 'structures', flatly refuses as she claims to have been misled into thinking that she could just create whatever she wants ( which really means her current obsession!!!)She is very controlling and when she finds that she can't have her own way or manipulate the situation, thats when she explodes!I get phone calls all day long and dread the phone ringing, especially when I am at work. I have another meeting with the school tomorrow which I am not looking forward to! It has been decided to push for a statement for her. Can you tell me what this will mean to her and us? It was explained that it would give us more freedom to find a school more geared to kids with her kinds of difficulties and that makes me think that they are getting to the point where they they can no longer cope with her! She would be devistated to have to leave!! also, she has complained for a very long time of not being able to sleep which must be contributing to her behaviour, but am reluctant for her to become dependant on sedatives and so haven't yet mentioned it to her g.p or to CAMHS! what would you advise? She has written a very nice letter of apology to the school with a promise to get on with her work, for me to take to the meeting tomorrow however, if the past is anything to go by, she has promised many things, many times and never seems to learn from her mistakes.....just makes the same ones over and over again!! Really worried about what will happen next!!! Beverley, Cheshire

hi paula completely know where your coming from...very similar story with my 14 year old daughter....running away/threatening to run away resulting in police involvement, doors kicked through and other things my husband and I have worked hard for destroyed, abusive, aggressive, controlling, wants to go into care, hates us, wishes she was dead,self harming issues,frequently excluded from school for same behaviours etc.Today, after a positive start back at school with excellent new strategies in place, we find her once again exlcluded, although, the school were partly to blame as they failed to act on information I had given them about a part of her new timetable that she would be unable to cope with, for which they apologised, but still excluded her! Grrr! After 'the phone call' from school, I sat in the staff room at work today, and had a big cry! 1 step forward and 6 back AGAIN! We have 3 other children , a son of 22 and Twins of 19,and I thought to myself for the first time today how completely different raising them to be the respectful, loving,and well mannered adults they are, and getting them effortlessly through school, has been, and this almost seems like another life!! I will never say to my youngest that she has changed my family, of course not..NEVER...but I have to admit secretly to myself that she has!! Her dx is recent, and it does help to try and understand and deal with her behaviours and thought processes better, but the impact on family life is the same. My marriage is strained as my husband is coping less well and cannot seem to adopt the same sort of 'don't take it personally' attitude that I have learned to have when she hurls insults, and my twins are still at home ( though one of them is moving in with her boyfriend at the end of this month, speeded along I'm sure, by her sister's behaviour. My other children do not understand her condition at all, they are just fed up! you know though, despite all of the above, when, on occasions, she does engage, and laughs out loud, and says I'm the best mum in the world, and comes for a walk with me and the dog and chats on and on and on, I remind myself how much I do love being a mum, and how hard a job it can be sometimes....some days much more than others!!!....Gosh, I've gone on a bit...and feel much better for it! Hope you manage to pick yourself up too Paula! We all seem to ....somehow!?

many thanks karen.......will take a look!! your help and advice is much appreciated. Beverley.

thankyou karen. Your information was very helpful. my daughter spent 2 months at a young persons psychiatric unit following a self harm incident in school and an unwillingness on her part, to be sure that she could not keep herself safe.It was this admittance that brought to light the possibility of AS, and many questionnaires were completed, and observations made of the way she interacted both socially and educationally,at the end of which, the paediatric psychiatrist arrived at the conclusion that she was definitely on the autistic spectrum, and that it was probably aspergers, although, not " barn door", as she put it!? A psychometric test was completed at the beginning of august but we don't yet know the findings, and she is still on the list for the 'ados 'test. In light of what you told me, I telephoned my LA to highlight my concerns, and was told that they still haven't had a submission from the school and this was probably due to them wanting the results of these tests and all other findings made at the ypc who assessed her to include with this submission, but that this wasn't absolutely necessary as long as the information provided gives a clear picture of her needs. Having said this, it seems likely that the school will apply for 'class funding'rather than a 'sen', and I do remember this being mentioned. Does this make sense to you? I am assuming that at some point in the future, Daisy will have a more concrete diagnosis once evrything has been completed, and from what we have been told,the results are expected to support their initial thinking however, she isn't 'classic aspergers', and I see that. She doesn't care too much about routine and she has no problem making eye contact for example, but the traits which do affect her do so dramatically and on a daily basis!! Surely ,this admittedly,ambiguous diagnosis, can't mean that her needs will be taken less seriously!? Sorry if I sound like I'm having a bit of a rant!!...well, I am actually!! It sounds like you also have faced many of the same frustrations!! Just hoping that the next, and most crutial 2 years ,will be happier and more productive for her than the last 2 years! thanks again. Take care. Beverley, Cheshire.

Hi, I am new to the forum and very glad to have found it! My daughter is now 14 and has recently been diagnosed with aspergers traits rather than classic aspergers syndrome. At age 6 or 7, I have a very vivid memory of her telling me that she felt 'different', and as though she didn't 'fit in anywhere'.I never forgot that! she was a happy,lively child throughout primary school but raised cocerns amongst her teachers as she struggled to make friends...something she couldn't understand as she wanted them so much! It was often mentioned to me that it was 'Daisy's way or no way'!! She didn't play games well, unless they were her own, was very extreme,noisy, and over the top, which made other kids wary of her, clung ( sometimes literally) to her teachers, and despite her reading and vocabulary being advanced for her age, began to fail towards the end of primary school as writing was such a challenge for her and she couldn't get her ideas down on paper or keep up with the rest of the class. She left to go to high school with a reputation as being a bit odd and her experiences there have been less than positive ever since.She was bullied frequently and by the time she entered year 8,she had begun to display some very angry, aggressive behaviour, first at home, then at school, then both, resulting in much stress for the family and many exclusions from school! I instinctively felt that there was more to this than met the eye,yet, despite my discussions with many teachers, 3 different g.p's,and a student social worker at 'camhs'to whom she was assigned following her attempts at self harming, it was felt that she simply had behavioral problems and that firmer boundaries were neeeded. I'd mentioned the obsessions that were such a feature of her personality, but nobody really took it on board. A chance conversation with a student psychiatric nurse who happened to be specialising in AS, put us on the right path, and she underwent various assessments ( still waiting for ados test).Her diagnosis, and all that I have come to understand about it, is a such a relief for her as well as us! she could never understand herself before....why she can't look ahead and predict the consequences, why she became so stressed in certain social situations, why she shakes her leg or rocks herself when she's trying to cope,why she doesn't cry or show empathy etc. She is in the process of being statemented so that her school can provide additional support for her, and they have made some adjustments to her timetable for when she returns in September, however, we can't help but feel anxious about how things will go. I am reading as much as I can about AS and am able to recognise which aspects affect her, and which do not...and searching for all the support and advice I can ( like this forum!!). My problem is that, because we had been told it was behavioural all this time, and because she has aspergers traits, We sometimes question when, for intance,, she is snappy and rude in answer to a simple question, is it AS, Or just bad behaviour? I understand that small things are big things to her and that she loses her temper easily at what seems such a trivial thing, however. there are times when I think we are trying to do something nice,yet she seems quite rude and ungrateful? AS or not? My husband, who has so far read nothing,leans more towards the behavioural theory despite the diagnosis, whereas he says I excuse everything she does and blame it on AS? I am confused, and it is causing a rift between us at a time when we should be pulling together!! incidentally, I certainly find that a calmer,focused approach to her episodes has a much more favourable outcome than my husbands more confrontational one!