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I know from doing my college course that identity interlinked to so many other factors within your life and which can really impact and adjust identity issues further! And identity can also be connected with self-image and join in a circle (which doesn't break) keeps going round with identity in the centre/middle with other factors on the outside! Self esteem is another factor then mental health issues can mainly damage /mess up your whole identity! XKLX

I think this outcome theory basis depends on several factors of age when diagnosed , what type of personality you have ( if outgoing shy determined motivated) and also family /friends support around you also if diagnosed later on in your life you will have for sure developed hidden coping methods /tips already throughout situations to help manage better I sometimes feel more asperger's than other day also depends on how mood is as then more 'vulnerable' where AS is more noticable obvious! XKLX

I think this outcome theory basis depends on several factors of age when diagnosed , what type of personality you have ( if outgoing shy determined motivated) and also family /friends support around you also if diagnosed later on in your life you will have for sure developed hidden coping methods /tips already throughout situations to help manage better I sometimes feel more asperger's than other day also depends on how mood is as then more 'vulnerable' where AS is more noticable obvious! XKLX

* forgot to add - "no-one likes me" and that "he is rubbish" negative outlook statement used is probably and most likely down to his low self esteem and NOT depression based! It's picking up on good points and commenting to raise his self -esteem I'm not saying it will could help reduce anger spells gradually! Have you been in contact with educational pyschologist for any useful/helpful tips ,advice regarding his anger issues stepping on it before it reaches 'explosion point' as not "healthy" environment for any of you to live in so are you saying you've been discharged from CAMHS for good? What assessment are you waiting on? And who referred you to this assessment? CAMHS? How long you been waiting for this assessment? I would rechase as sometimes so busy the services like CAMHS forget to keep you updated and informed! The assessment would help feel more settled at peace calmer! I would try and explore new hobbies I would investigate further on this!what kind of work does your son do with educational pyschologist? How often does he see them? And is any chance the pyschologist could do home visit in different environment? XKLX

I would also keep a behaviour diary and also keep it to show professionals also maybe keeping general note alongside of his moof at time what he up to before and after may help him and you recoginise the 'main' triggers of his anger issues! XKLX

When look in the mirror feel 'disassociative state' of "who I am" where I belong /where fit in causes so much stress,anxiety surrounding me throughout makes you feel uncomfortable! Feel like sometimes I'm split between two yet trapped I feel I am two "different" people in one of 'me'

@ water girl - like you struggling to work out if this actual mental health issue I already have outstanding which needs looking into further (Bi-polar or BPD) questioning seriously wondering possibility or whether just leaving well alone and 'accepting' finally it is 'just AS' and depression which plays apart in 'identity crisis issues' I get sucked in to cycle of trying piece information and details together so finally can rest and have sense of natural harmony and peace am I asking too much from myself and my life?! Am I always going feel like going round endless circles making myself 'dizzy' with trying to find 'answers' out there somewhere! p.s find this interesting subject Topic with opinions and personal experiences and 'stories' shared on here!

* I think it is essential part of understanding yourself and your life otherwise everything else isn't complete and whole that becomes difficult to 'fill' as such when it isn't there to begin with -chasing and searching becomes draining trying to figure identity crisis out make sense of why it is missing I suppose this identity crisis more common issue in females due to it being such natural central main role in 'our lives'

@ atlantis - I totally agree with both your personal experience and research that has been made and with my own personal experiences of having unsteady shaky rocky foundations upon identity and personality too as both 'feed' into each other making you seem disorientated , lost and confused within it all, I find situation very frustrating and 'pure' struggle/battle at times with it all I personally believe this is why I don't feel content settle comfortable with 'everything' nor "in control" either hope someday find source which helps bring "something better" XKLX

Hot milky hot chocolate finally kicking in -working progress helping me drift into 'natural sleep' pattern do you know why the reasoning it is behind this! For it to work! It's pure magic it's weight in gold! Can't believe all of sudden decided to work click! Is it something in milk or chocolate? Cutting out badness of caffeine has deffo been good thing for me!

Wish mine were classed as 'stable' never feel 'equalled' out as such hopefully sometime soon will come to a full blown conclusion -of some kind of an answer! XKLX

I had major /severe anger issues 'lashing out' physically at 'everyone' -my parents ,my twin brother (who's deafblind) I believe the reasoning behind my anger issues due to list of frustrations and confusions which build like a stack until knocked over and you literally "explode" suddenly rapidly over 'nothing' comes out the 'blue' as bottle it up for so long need a release valve you tried introducing a calming corner for him to be lead to when you see him reaching that "blow point" as he may not even 'realise' he reached this stage until he done the physical aggression/violent! Is he depressed? As sometimes anger can mask physically this? Worth looking into! May need to chase up services and assessment! He sounds like he needs re-directioning into an activity he enjoys to distract him focus on something he enjoys can relax/chill at rather than take his frustrations out at you all! I used feel really bad horrid,awful after I'd been physical! Used to "hate" myself so much do you see this in your son afterwards - does he apologise? Does he try and explain in any detail on why he becomes physical? He may feel like he lost wandering around with sense of no direction hopefully the official assessment/diagnosis will lead to some understanding,knowledge and guidance! It effects whole household he also may not able to express how he truly really feels inside so each time displays as anger and nothing else! Why not try exploring his feelings through flash cards - with visual faces aswell as words to try get him recognise other emotions other than anger!? And try cooling down system try move away from anger towards peace ,calm! Have you thought of medication or anger management course too? Last resort tactics I know! Good luck- hope it works out for you and your son for the best! XKLX

I would say our highs do differ from 'others' out there as get hooked more easy! @ phantom sneeze - u looked into bi-polar? As they spend lot of money without thinking within "high" mood?

Gut feeling is also very natural yet important flag when just can't put your fingers on it or have an actual name or a term yet you just know instinctively your child my parents were exactly the same too think it a perfectly "normally" fitted feeling of something doesn't feel or sit exactly right then it is your "right" to express to HV what the current as well as past issues you've described/explained to us on this forum! Even print out where made a list of jacks 'struggles' /issues! Hope you find " the answers" you so searching -looking for sometimes it takes a while to collect information/details together to create 'bigger picture' just take it step by step as be easier to manage and digest! If more than one of your sons is 'somewhere on the spectrum' like you've coped with suspected one undiagnosed you would unknowningly and instinctly pick up with the rest of your sons not that 'wishing' that to happen to you! I think as a mum you do what you have been dealt with nature -spectrum child/ren or not! You muddle through somehow someway like you been doing with jack my mum and dad have me (asperger's,dyspraxic mental health issues) my twin brother is partially deaf (wears two hearing aids since childhood!) And totally blind my parents never guessed or imagined in their wildest dreams have two different individual seperate issues/needs they'd deal /manage/cope with on daily basis even with my mum's own mental health issues battling since we were babies but we've living proof it CAN be done yet work! Is a real working progress (challenge) lot of time with both of us in different ways it's hard work/effort but our parents have made us both independent ,stronger,tougher people in "our own right" not feel "sorry" for our "issues" just pick up carry on -like they've had NO choice/decision but to anyways!

Is it possible to be addicted to "natural high" ?

Yeah I really would voice your "concerns" as whatever these issues may be want them addressed resolved supported best possible outcome I think you've answered yourself really -time speak out and seek some guidance ,reassurance!! Sounds like you need it right now! Good luck! X * I don't think would "harm" or "hurt" voicing your worries as may give you an idea on how to 'better' manage day to day tasks wouldn't feel so isolated alone confused and lost within it all -mixed up! Don't be worried to "voice" neither this will hopefully help you all in someway!

I'm not looking forward to this as everything so far I've put "everything" my hopes on get dashed (let down and disappointed) with every mental health services as just "listening worker"

Now attending art and craft sessions @ MIND on mondays (1.30pm-4pm) which pay for out of "own pocket" it takes 13 weeks to sort "everything out" like personal budget etc once that worked out then it can come out of that fund tomorrow got appointment @ 1.30pm with 'listening worker' at MIND (she trainee social worker) just there to 'listen' make judgement from my own thoughts and come to conclusion!

@ jeanne - The weekend away not happening now so plan B of summer days out instead! Now text my auntie to make sure she eating 'properly' of breakfast ,lunch and dinner she worries same over me too! Lol the irony!

No not happening now due to my friends trying to save for other things so plan now to do summer days to seaside! London etc

Got docs appointment tried this week couldn't get it but next week with doc I don't know can't get in see any doc I know! All booked up full for ages in advance! I'm wreckless mode too so don't care what happens "down hill spiral" or not!

I can't seem to 'forget' don't know if going to be "well" enough to attend art and craft session! And same with wednesday session! I can't put "anything" behind me so struggling!

No-one seeing my mood diary so think 'what the point attitude' to be honest and truthful my mum even commented on my mood today as being "on the edge" just feel so restless my mum got it spot on she right I am "on the edge" I'm seeing listening worker on wednesday at MIND centre and got art and craft session tomorrow afternoon (1.30pm-4pm) the fee for attending is one fifty!

After being @ my auntie's seem 'gripped' in my own "deep black pit" of depression that dragging me down just want to shut down ,blank out the world don't know its where I set myself on that track automatically yet subconsciously but for me can lead to "dangerous impulsive self ruin path" for a while! I scare myself as know what coming but no brakes to stop crisis mini or major from occuring! ;( I feel like I've taken on my auntie's worries,struggles on my "shoulders" it literally crushing,destroying me where do I go from here? Feel like withdrawing from the world? Scared afraid to admit when feel like "I'm riding a storm of present crisis" XKLX

I have both conditions what your daughter has (Dyspraxia and AS) was officially diagnosed with Dyspraxia first in childhood (while still at junior's school!) Then years later I was officially assessed and diagnosed with AS in my early teens! Always knew with my family "something different" about me which didn't add up fully! I wasn't like "normal child"! I didn't have "full picture" some jigsaw pieces were "missing" as I describe it! As hard to explain put into words unless you've 'actually' been in that "reality" for themselves! When I "inform" people on the "outside" I have AS they are all taken back and shocked on how "well" I "cope" and "manage" and conceal mask my social /emotional difficulties and issues I suppose you adapt over the years not knowing what really going on what causing strange weird situations to happen! At least the process is rolling ahead now so should lead more answers of 'unanswered questions' you both still have outstanding! I always thought I was "unemployable". Thinking no-one 'want' me or 'have' me my issues would be too much of an issue! But I work p/t at a nursery happened by chance /opportunity through holding on in work experience volunteering through the college! Couldn't asked for better world place I'm grateful to have such understanding,supportive work place it's positive structure/routine in my life gives me sense of purpose /reason to wake up each morning!