lisa35

Just looking for advice,my son seems generally worse after certain things, especially coke(obviously!!) Ive read so much re additives , but just wonder which are the major ones, just for me to begin with and Ill try to omit and see if helps To be honest I have noticed if I dont use the "cook in sauces"- you know the ones ! he seems better Not sure if my imagination! Thnks Lisa

Hi Liz, may I ask why you think SALT report placed your child higher? I only ask as I feel similar, the assessment for younger children was used as my son was just a couple of months younger than the cut off point before they used the higher assessment And I feel taht it was an artificial situation , very quiet,etc Saying that we have had excellent ot input, and cant fault them Lisa

hi, a few yrs ago my son played Joseph in school play, he had fearful face all way thro, looked terrified, and so uncomfy However, he never gets chosen for anything like this, and when it had finished he had the most amazing smile on his face, was v proud of himself This is a difficultone, do you think he wants to do it, or just scared to say he doesnt? Lisa

Hi Mandy, yes, he keeps changing mind, maybe we ll just play it by ear Lisa ps he s still awake, stressing over going back to school tomorrow!

Hi Pearl , we tried karate, too much noise and he was too disruptive, has probs remembering the routine too, is taekwondo any slower? Lisa

Thanks Lisa, I thought that too, his dad is the best, but heck it puts such a strain on us, we never seem to get a break from it! Tought it was may be just me being a soft mum Lisa

Hi, just returned from sons ice skating lesson, he was adamant wanted to try it, and not wanting to demoralise him we paid for first 6 lessons, they went okish, , but he hasnt moved up as many his class have, and is finding it so v v v hard Hes hypermobile, balance is awful, today there were 30 in class, it was noisy, he feels a failure,etc,etc Upshot is I feel we should let him stop, dad thinks he should persevere, but hes hating it, and its wrecking his little esteem he has, dad thinks he will get better, just will take longer than most kids, but Joe knows he s different I cant see point in carrying on when phsyically he struggles,, Also, just generally things so bad at mo, constant tears, traumas, he was going on and on about some kids at school teasing hi, dad blew top, said just tel lem where to go, stand up for yourself,etc,etc Thing is, Joe knows all this, has been in trouble for walloping kids that tease him, so have just got him to stop reacting this way Im the one that breaks my heart, gets phone calls at work, have to face parents in playground Dont get me wrong, his dad is the best, just circumstances mean its always me they contact, guess just feeling bogged down at mo Poor son, Im at a loss, everything seems to be getting on top of him, high school in sept, hormones, finishing primary,etc, How on earth do I help him!!?? Its just so full on with him at mo, demands every second from us, and everything is escalating, noises, tantrums, quirks,help!! Guess Im at a loss Lisa

Hi Perl, same here, cant understand our son at times, we have to say sloooow down ,a nd he walks like hes top heavy if that makes any sense, his front half leans forward!? Lisa

thankyou Mumble,thats given me alot of insight into sons quirks, he is a lot worse the more Icomment on it and seems more we acknowladge it more it escalates! Think its v true about depending on circumstances, and Ill try a bit harder with him! Lisa

thanks baddad, that makes sense to me, I think I could ask him to think of a different way to express it, its the whistling thats a big prob at mo, and it does effect his ability to mix with his peer group, and at end of the day , that matters a great deal to him Thanks Lisa

My worry is that he ll be bullied even more, I wish he could be himself 100 percent of time, Lisa at home and with family he is himself, but also i want him to feel like hes so different to other kids, its a big issue at this age for him Lisa

Hi, just wondering, my son is getting older now,12 next, and his quirkiness seems moe obvoius as his peer group are maturing.At the mo we have alot of weird whistles, and odd walking gait, really makes him stand out Thing is, I know he "enjoys" his noises and sometimes does it when really happy, but at times when hes over stimulated Just wondering what others think, I feel I have to make him conform so that he doesnt get bullied so much, I know our kids should be able to act ast hey want, but the reality is very different isnt it? Also, any one else with older children , do they start to mature more, Im scared that Ill have an 18 yr old walking round whistling and spinning and jumping! Lisa ps guess my usually thick skin not so thick today!

thanks all, lots of tips to try, think Ill try the visual shower timetable, we did a similar thing with getting dressed ,a nd maybe even the timer, I dont think he has much sense of time, so may help The apple peeling made me smile, joe wont even make himself a sandwich, but we do same, keep nagging him! Lisa

Thanks Bard, just feel guilty, seems a permamnent state of being a parent!!! Lisa

my son is hypermobile, very flat feet, insoles dont seem to make huge difference, but, his pain is better with them Dont let anyone fob u off,i used to think my was just lazy, it s not, its painful for them he also twists ankle/wrists very easily, and seem to have v low pain threshold! Lisa

and does really daft stuff, just drawn over his legs in permamnent marker pen...ahhhhh........why oh why

Just lost it , so tired of the crazy, madness of our lives, have to do everything, I was so mean to son, told him he needs to grow up and starting acting more responsible Is it so much to ask, hes 12 soon, and all I asked was for him to get in the bath(that Id run) and he goes and hides in his wardrobe Every room I go in he has stuff in, hes so chaotic, and I know Ive just made things worse, pmt and all that(no excuse for how ive acted) Just found a note he wrote in his room, said sorry for being a failure, Im so ######, made him feel worthless,just so tired, he is 24/7, wants more attention than any 5 yr old! And other people just seem to feel he is spoilt , even if we go out the room, within seconds hes shouting us Does any one else find this or have we just pandered to him too much? Im really beginning to wonder He has no dx, didnt score enough for dx of asp or asd, yet everything the senco, SALT,etc,etc, do with him is same as the kids with dx of asd and it helps Sorry for rant Lisa

Hi, just looking for words of wisdom really, my son is 12 in Sept, but I feel l ike hes more like an 8 yr old, the simplest things seem to be getting harder and he seems to be getting more and more demanding, as I type he is hollering me from the bathroom to pass the soap! I feel l ike he demands our attention every second of the day, so much so than a typical lad of his age. He doesnt even run his own bath/ or get in shower, would just sit in bath in a dream if I didnt nag him to pick up soap and wash!Guess at mo has hormones rampaging, but just wondered if anyonbe has any ideas how I could get him to shower/bath independantly Such a small thing would make our lives so much easier If I admit to colleagues stuff like this they just think we run round after him, if only that was reason!!! Thansk Lisa PS at this rate he ll be 40 and Ill still be nagging him!

Hi all, just logged on to say same, we have an 11 yr old, 12 in Sept and are struggling a lot at moment He just seems to stand out sooooo much from his peer group , and trying so hard to fit in but getting it so wrong eg does things that we just know will get him teased mercilessly, really inappropraite for his age Yet, he is starting to get spots, mature phsically,etc, yet is more like 8 yr old in behaviour He had been in trouble at school for reacting to teasing, have had awful week, two discipline marks , one for spitting in a childs face when he was teasing him Thing is we were doing so, so well, does anyone else feel so damn isolated??!! Thing is, how do u tell friends and family when theyve done thing s like spitting, and feel sickened by it, he s such a wonderful lad, he really is, but other parents must think hes a real reprobate!! Guess just wanted to say you re not alone, and hijacked this thread a bit, needed to offload! Sorry Lisa son doesnt have formal dx, didnt "score" enough for dx of aspergers/asd, but deffo has traits, socail difficulties and sensory issues

Hi, for a long time I was so frightened of what others thought Id not deal with my son when he started when we were out and about, however a, about 6 months ago he went for me, raised a fist and actually caught side of my face when out, He was devastated, so was I We saw clinical pysch, and helped a lot, I decided that I couldnt have this anymore, and it culminated in a local supermarket Son started, so I told him to wait outside the shop, he told me to f off, loudly! SAnd all way home, had same, thought peoples eyes were gonna pop out! Anyway, Im now the boss, and other day he said to his dad@mum never changes mind does she!!??" Guess what Im saying is, our kids wind us down , can keep at it for hours, but since I developed a real thick skin, its better, stuff others, we know what we know! Good Luck PS didnt mean this to sound condescending x Lisa

Just wondering if this is typical issue for all kids, or just ours My son is 11 and finds making/ keeping friends difficult, has a really good friends at mo, a lovely lad, they never have a wrong word Anyway, he asked him today who his @best " friend is and he listed some, with m yson as number 3, theres no mailice there, but my lad is heart broken. Partly as this lad and his other friend (who Joe is scared will make his friend go off him!) are going on school trip to France , my son had chance to go , but decided not to! Anyway, bless him, says he feels "guilty" (think he means more left out) as its his mates bday while in France and my lad thinks hes letting this lad down as he wont be there for his bday!! Hes so giving, doesnt seem to play the games most kids play, and when gets a friend its all consuming Is this typical do u think for 11 yr olds? Lisa xx

Try occupational therapy catalogues, altho aimed at adults, there may be some things that could help? Lisa

My 11 yr old is attending a semantic pragmatic group with the SALT, hes been given small piece of homework which entailed us thinking og similar words to describe others,eg happy = joyous=smily Anyway, full blown tantrum, I really think he struggles more than we realise, when we did another exercise, it was word association, ie think of a word,etc, he struggled and took him a while to think of an associated word Do you think is all kids, or typical of his traits? Also , today .looked at listening skills, question was "if you stare at someone what may it mean?" His response- you re listening and being polite!! Its cos they explained how poor eye contact can be seen as rude!!!! Poor soul, he also insists I look at him when he talks to me for same reason (even when Im trying to walk along and almost collide with lampost!!! Lisa ps has anyone else been fortunate enough to access this service? I know we re really lucky

Hi, ive borrowed one from the ot toy library at my hospital, theyve given me a web site, Illhunt it out, butt he one I have isnt nobbly, just bouncy, it makes my son sit upright, Ive tried it n fell off!! Lisa Think ttheyre approx �13

thanks for all replies of support, it makes me realise that our son tho has "traits" doesnt have as many hurdles to face as many here To be honest Im happy theyre recognised, and most importantly we re getting help without dx. Just other day he said he was sick of being prodded and poked and made to feel different, so have decided , for now at least, to use all the asd strategies and acept dx It works for him, and been a long two yrs, it couldve ben worse, much worse, couldve just said we were nutty parents! None the less i understand totally why so many continue to fight for dx, and if in time he struggles, I will seek out more assessment Good Luck to all you special mums and dads! Lisa xxx