lisa35

Just looking for general experiance really Awiting decision re whether LEA will assess, having 1;1 at upper school(he is 13 in sept) and still has had 3 fixed term exclusions in last few weeks, isnt coping at all So bad he s seeing camhs, isnt sleeping,etc In fact so near withdrawing him until get place, but told this is a big no no , and will be harder to get him back All professionals- senco, autism outreach, educational pyschologists agree he needs place ina sschool that has deisgnated specialist provison for kids with autism/aspergers There are two in area- one is awful, but near, other is more appropriate(well, we feel it is) and autism outreach said will put it to the Officer overseeing his case that s this is best place for him How much success do peeps have generally in a. getting a statement b. the school of prefance Has anyone been in similar position as us, ie everyone singing form same hymn sheet, often I seem to read here that schools disagree with parents, etc. Just wonder if it may make a difference to the outcome! Thanks , Lisa

Just sat watching my wonderful son, hes making a swing outside from the tree to my shed, very ingenious I feel so sad for him, whenever he tries to invite kids they make some excuse, he is alone such a lot.I asked him if he minded and he said hes just got used to it He has so many wonderful qualities, I just hope as he gets older other s see them, he is my star, wonderful lad. Do your kids have more friends as they get older? Also, hes been told cant go on end of term trip to cruddy flamingo land (well, we ll be the ones telling him) because school policy is if have had expulsions, etc, cant go So up to us to tell him, I told them in no uncertain terms he wont be in school that day, and Ill probably keep him off day after - why should he have nose rubbed in it! Hhes loosing it school as he cant cope,even with 1;1, we re curently awaiting hope ful placement at a school with specialist provision. Sorry, turned into a rant x feeling a bit blue for him

yep, me too, I kinda had some insight for my son, but this gave me more, it seems a good read, not to heavy going, and actually usefulstuff there! X

my 12 year old so low at mo, we re waiting to see a Psychiatric Nurse, he doesnt sleep, he is having a dreadful time We have had agreement that LEA will asses, which is in process at moment We have been to look at a school with a designated provision today, it is fantastic, problem is there is another nearer (that is awful!) So we re hoping ( but not convinced )that the LEA acknowladge this if agree to statement You have to be one step ahead, but this school has so much to offer And our son cannot cope as he is, he told us today" sometimes I dont feel like I deserve to be alive!" And when I rang cahms, to ask when we re getting urgent appt- keep a close eye on him., make sure he doesnt have access to tablets, etc FFS they insult us, they really do, after the diagnosis, they said well now all we can do is refer you to autism support fpr help with his behaviours! How very dare they! We ve gone it alone so long, and could write others a step byy step guide! What he needs is school placement to meet his needs, we re doing just fine in our lovely, mad cap world! Good luck to all x

my son just quieten down to sleep, its 2346, hes been up late all week. and sleeping til 0900, so probly thats why His dad and I are having TWO nights away from tomorow, first time ever, he s not at all happy, but gawd knows we need it xxxx

we use a timer- have one for 15 mins, and one for 30 mins- eg if say off laptop in 15 minutes- we set it off It s almost like they need a warning of whats going to happen next They were nt cheap- but have been useful x

thanks, we had a lovely day today Js mum, they do try and try, and even if you slip for one miniscule second- they re in there! Iknow , mine is just same, if ever we change/ flex the rules, takes ages to get back on track xxx Its like military precision

hi, it must be the week for it Yesteday I had to physically restrain my 12 yr old, my sister was there too It was actaully my fault, we were in a busy town centre and he was constantly swearing at me, part cos it was noisy and hew as over stimulated, and part cos he having such a hard tiime at school at present. He blames me because I have spoken about another school Well, I lost it, ended up holding him againsta wall. my knee restrainibg his so he could nt kick me, and my sister holding the other armHe just kept sweraing reall loud, and saying he would spit in face, people looking- that doesnt bother me any more, I was more bothreed that hed hit my sister- he woyuld never have forgiven himself Afterwards he sobbed in my arms like a baby,he didnt even realise mys sister had his arm,I guess what Im trying to say is in the heat of the meltdown my son has no awareness of his actions, what he says/does. So your son will not maybe realise how scary he looked, or what he was capbale of Good luck xxx

Attachment Issues, how to lessen? is this it?

thanks all baddad- academically he has dropped, from English-5c, maths-4b,Science-5c in primary to 4as for all (year 7- High school) School assessment states no measurable progess and current results are consumerate with his ks2SATS results. I cant see how he can maitain the pace as things improve, even he drops levels academically then this may help- but will end up being bored as the subject level will be below him As for friends- I think the kids tolerate him when hes calm, he says Ive got "friends" but this holidays is typical example, noone calls/ texts/ calls for him, its so upsetting, we ask kids, they come once, but dont return call/ or ask him back. but certainly not ones that you should avoid even if it does create upset in the short term. Whatever the circumstances of his entrance into the new unit (if that's what's decided) it's important that he's played an active role in the decision, even if the 'active' only means him being aware of the decisions being made for him and the reasons behind them. This is why Ive started to tell him- he needs to know- but as we all know our kids like"definates" and the truth is right now we dont know what the outcome will be. I just want him to be happy, even if it meant academically he achieves nothing! Even school have said right now academic achievemnt is least of his worries, as things are so low. Ive just said to him if you have "friends" where are they now, he blames me! obviously, said they re just busy, and have alife! Thing is we constatntly taking michael out of, ask kids time after time, for his sake, they take advantage, as do the parents Thanks for the advice, it really does help, I think I know what ansewr is xxx

just in process og going through assessment for statement, have had to explain to 12 yr old son that current school maybe not best place for him, and that we have to think about all options. Dint think we could not say anything, especially as the process comes to a final statement Thought best to start being open with him, especially when other professionals start to get involved, all we want is what best for him He is so low, school so hard for him, having 1;1 at mo, but only cos things are so very bad He has some lessons away from class, has few friends, and not a soul comes near in holidays He is falling behind, and we re looking at possibilty of unit attached to mainstream He just sent me this via email, my heart is broken Should we just ve left it, and said nothing! Things have been slightly better, he is calmer, but not ideal WHY?! I DONT WANT TO MOVE F G SCHOOLS COZ ALL MY FRIENDS ARE AT THIS 1 AND WHEN THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER AND I HAVE MORE FRIENDS, YOU TAKE IT ALL AWAY FROM ME I HATE YOU

Been looking, and all seem to be in south, anyone aware of any ooop north,Im west yorkshire Ta

thanks CEJ, Im actually sat here filling up , hes on msn (the chat thingy, has also discovered Bebo) and is thrilled cos hes adding loads to his list, but time after time he ll message some one and simply say hi, they react so ###### nasty- oftne put thing s like why you talking to me freak/ why wouild I want to talk to you Hes such a lovely lad, but struggles socially- so has been on trouble at school. We took one of his friends out for day yesterday- he tried so hard- they got on ok, once he relaxed, shes a lovely girl, known himm years But if truth be known, all the kids at this age want to fit in dont they , and theyre not going to risk having a "weird" mate He s so low, educational pysch, and autism support are concerned, suggested taking him to gp which I am today. Her even said to me is it depressed when you feel really sad,a nd Is aid yes, he said even Griff (our wonderful chocolate labrador- who he adores) doesnt make me happy any more Im scared GP will say what do u expect me to do! We re also waiting for cahms appt, what a joke that is! Sorry for rant, feeling sad for himt oday x

my lovely son has just gone to sleep, we have to endless hugs first though(he is 13 next ) and he always says love you, then we say love you too, then he says love you to the moon and back(like the rabbit book), then I say love you to infinity, then he says love you infinity plus one! Now who says no wonderful bits to our kids! are typical 12 yr olds as loving!?

yep darky, Joe wont even go at school, and when needed a no 2 would hold it for days, and I mean days, in fact, when he was desperate to go he would literally go upside down, on his head, on the settee, almost as if he thought gravity would keep the no 2 in!! aslo has a thing about germs, wont drink out of a cup we ve used, or a bottle of pop

feel isolated too, hes very reluctatnt to go out, or anywhere, just wants to be on laptop. but thats so anti social, so for my sanity, and to help him learn to be around people and situations I insist that we do stuff. he mainly enjoys it when we make the effort Bu tas hubby and I have said, we are isolated, have no adult company, apart from family, and becomes very suffocating when its just us 3 x

thanks , we always set off together, have out own adventures! x

my son never seems to drink, but constantly moans hes hungry- just wondering if has inability to recognise these senses- has lots of sensory issues, any one else similar? X

well.school hols, and will just be me and my fab son, he spends so much time alone, its heart breaking so wants friends, but finds whole business so difficult, the desperation is upsetting at times. Does it get better as they get older, as kids get more tolerant? Hes 13 next, and Im well aware that the other kids have own issues, fitting in,etc, but as they get older do you thing other kids will be nice r to him? Thanks Lisa

have this to complete, questions such as what do you think your child needs, etc Ive listed his difficulties, what we believe are solutions, and asks do we have concerns re his education-too ###### right! Ive put cant access same curriculum as others,etc, spends time off time table, cant access school trips,etc.etc Anyone got any tips? we re lookin at either 1;1 mainstream ,or moving him to a designated specialist provision for kids with aspergers/ autism. There are only 2 places with 4-6 individual places for kids. One of the schools is a total no no , so feel like we have only two options. The one DSP or school he s at now with full time 1;1 and intense social skills training. Thanks Lisa

hi, for the past 3-4 yrs we just "knew" our son was as, after 2 yrs of assessment they diagnosed only traits, this was such a difficulttime, we had no specialist autism intervention Anyway, in Jan this year we decided to ask for 2nd opinion, it was make or break, I too, and son,didnt know if we could cope with even more assessments Cut long story short, after 6 weeks, cahms diagnosed aspergers, we feel so much it was right thing.Our lad is 13 next,they need to know, and our autism outreach support is so helpful, so for us,it wass so so the right thing We shouldve done it so much sooner x but belived the "professionsl" Good luck x

A week last thurs I phoned lea and had confirmation over phone that theyve agreed to assess son, just wondered when does timing start? From letter of confirmation? as we havent had it yet! Thanks Lisa

good luck, got everything crossed for you Its so hard sometimes xxxxxx

thanks esther, I think I will, it truly was an awful building, the kids , special needs and the others all deserve better than that! and I know environment isnt everything- bu t the kids that came into the room when we were there didnt even interact with the TA that was talking to us When my son accessing the senco in present school, the teachers all knoiw him, and are warm and wellcoming Lisa x

thanks darky, your daughter sounds very similar May I ask how you managed full time 1;1 ,we ve been told v unlikely , best can hope for is 50% 1;1 At present, because it got so bad, hes got almost full time 1;1 to try to break cycle, the change in his life is unbelievable, he hasnt been this happy, or relaxed for about 6 months We intend to fight for all we can , why the hell should our kids be shipped off, to inappropriate placements, they talk about inclusion, its laughable School are doing all they can, but its other restraints that tie their hands x