Lyndalou

Have you contacted the NAS in your local area? They would probably be the best people to approach initially. I am on the NAS mailing list for our area - Aberdeen/Aberdeenshire - and I am sent information about events and groups. Most of these are aimed at support for parents and their children with spectrum conditions so it may well be a similar scenario in your area too. If you have any Carers Support centres in your area, they may also be able to provide you with information about support and/or support groups in your area. These may be quite informal groups which provide peer support. <'> <'>

Thanks Sally I had a skim read of the Scottish Legislation and will print it out for future reference. I don't see anything in it specifically about Speech Therapy provision but I'll phone the NAS for advice about the educational support we should expect. I have been told who to contact about benefits and my husband and I had decided not to pursue those meantime but if we go down the road of private therapy then I think it would be wise to look into it further. Private therapy was something that had crossed my mind. Also, at the moment we are waiting to see how much more Stru's speech etc improves with regards to whether or not we 1) have him go to mainstream primary next August (Special Needs Unit attached) 2) defer him for a year and continue at Special Needs Nursery (if he is allowed to) or 3) he goes into primary school level at the Special Needs school he attends for Nursery. We've seen such a big improvement in his speech and his attempts to interact and play with other kids in the last 6 months that I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he might be able to cope with mainstream primary. However, it's less than a year so I know I need to keep in mind that his progress could slow or plateau and I'm well aware of his anxiety around other children so I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself! Lynda

Thanks Lynden I'm going to look into this further - it's nice to have a heads up before I contact the Ed Psych! I think I'll tread carefully on Parent's Evening because in many ways I think the Nursery are doing a great job with him but I'd like to know exactly what techniques they use there so I could do some of it at home... Lynda

Thanks Sesley I firmly believe that part of the reason Stru's speech has improved is due to reading with him since he was a baby. He's had his firm favourites and it has meant that he has really wanted to have them as part of his bedtime routine. He lets me know if he's too tired for a book but normally it's 3! It is a lovely connection - it made me so happy when he started answering my questions and saying the words in the books.

That's absolutely lovely! Here's hoping there's many more 'lightbulb' imaginative moments for you and your little lad

Glad you've got a date - something to work towards at least. Like Trekster says, hopefully you can get the date brought forward!

We're in Aberdeenshire and we're far enough out not to have boundary issues (yet) with Aberdeen because boy! when they don't agree you know it!! It gets a bit confusing sometimes because I'm not sure what applies North as well as South of the Border like the fact that 'The Autism Act' was not passed by the Scottish Parliament I believe - correct me if I'm wrong You're Inverness are you?

Thanks Dekra and Sally Sally, we've got my lad's first 'parent's evening' in a week's time and I'm gearing up for our 10 minute slot with the Nursery teacher! (Don't actually know if it's that short a meeting but just incase!) I filled in our goals for the coming year that was sent home when he started back at nursery in August and I would imagine that this will form the basis for discussion with her. I know that the Speech Therapist will also be on hand to speak to but I'm anticipating a long queue. I think they will say that his assessment is on-going over the course of the year What I have gleaned from my discussions with other mums (of kids slightly older) is that Speech Therapy is very limited. The Nursery, to my knowledge, get one session (usually as a group) per week with the one therapist employed by the school (Nursery - 18 years) and that quite often her unqualified assistant takes sessions as she needs to attend reviews and other meetings. The general feeling seems to be that the input is too little, too patchy and the school is a bit cagey about this. I'm going to see what is said at this meeting before I contact the Ed Psych again because the next formal review after this is not due to take place until March! In all honesty, I don't think I will be able to argue that my little lad gets more input at school without going to the Education Dept and arguing for them to employ another Speech Therapist and my understanding is that as he gets input at Nursery, he is not entitled to see an NHS Community-based Speech Therapist any longer. Thinking about it, perhaps that is something I need to double-check with the Ed Psych prior to the meeting and if I'm right, argue the case that he requires more one-to-one Community-based contact (probably more do-able than the school employing another therapist ) I'll definitely be asking if there are things I should be doing at home that I'm not in order to synchronise everything and I'll ask if what is discussed at his meeting can be put in writing. As we have a split placement with a mainstream playgroup I am so pleased to have a 'Split Placement Co-ordinator' on board to encourage Nursery and Playgroup to approach things in a similar (if not an identical) fashion and the woman seems on the ball but you're right, we have virtually nothing in writing yet pertaining to education and I'm supposed to make some sort of decision regarding Primary 1 come January 2012!!! BTW, I've just been sent notice from a publishers I've used about a book called 'Developmental Speech - Language Training through Music for children with Autistic Spectrum Disorders' and I'm wondering if it's worth a read?

My little boy's speech (now almost 4, diagnosed HFA) has improved a lot recently in terms of reciprocal or spontaneous speech but mostly remains primarily for conveying what he wants or needs (e.g. CBeebies/food etc). He uses a fair lot of echolia; what he hears mum and dad say and set phrases from various TV programmes which he says when he is upset or stressed. If I give him a telling off he says something about the Fat Controller being cross He has always loved songs. When he was using very little language, I was able to gauge that he could follow a certain level of instruction by singing 'If you're happy and you know it' and he loved it and enthusiastically joined in with all the made-up instructions I gave him! Since then, books have been great to encourage recipricol language as he memorised a lot of certain books at one point so if I read some and then if I pointed to 'missing' words he would then say those words. Much of his language is still very jumbled or unintelligible but he appears to think he makes sense. I quite often repeat words back to him. He also has 'favourite' words that he repeats for a time and some words are perfect! He is obviously now trying to make 'conversation' with us/adults although there is very little apart from laughing and screaming around other children. At home, he has always used quite a lot of good intonation and expression even when the language makes little sense. The clinical psychologist said recently that she liked his 'expressive eyebrows' Does anybody know of any resources to encourage reciprocal speech or tips about how I could encourage him to use language around other children? It can be quite obvious in mainstream settings that he is not speaking although he makes good effort to socialise. I am confident that some of the things I am doing at the moment are helping but it may be good to incorporate more formal or just different techniques!

Over the years I had a ridiculous amount of lessons...6 periods of lessons with huge gaps between between the ages of 18 and when I eventually passed 2 years ago at 36. Every time I started again, I optimistically thought I would pass in the 'normal' amount of lessons before I ran out of cash because I'd done it before. My last lot of lessons combined an intensive course at the end of which I had no hope of passing the test and then 2x2 hourly lessons for weeks after - in all 70+ hours. 3 tests later and I got my license!!!! My main problem was being able to co-ordinate all the various pedals / indicators / checking mirrors / using the brake pedal / looking ahead at traffic and road signs simultaneously because I was concentrating on going through all the sequences and found it difficult to alter timings and to allow for unforeseen things. Clutch control was always a problem and still is if I am a bit tired or distracted or wearing shoes with any heel. I found that I had to wear the same flat shoes for every lesson which helped. Part of the problem was that as time wore on, I started becoming more and more upset with myself for everything not clicking and I took that frustration into the car and when I made any mistakes on some lessons I became angry or burst into tears (Gawd, my instructor kept her patience!!)- on one lesson after 10 minutes I just asked the instructor to drive me home. I chewed gum which helped me concentrate and when my instructor got to know when I was getting upset she would direct me to park up and we would do 'dry runs'. I think these probably helped because I could visualise the sequences without the added pressure of actually driving!

I do prefer even numbers to odd ones I shake the baby bottle normally to 20. If I need to shake it more, I would do it to 22 or 24 Same with if I shake water off my hands - I normally count out the shakes, usually to 10! Sometimes I count things in multiples of 5 so 5, 10, 15 etc so work that one out... The world doesn't stop turning if I'm a little freer with my number-countin' but you're right, even numbers just feel more normal

Agree

I've come to realise that there's loads of things you can do with your kids that allow them to be around other kids but don't mean that you necessarily have to talk to anyone I took my son to a 'gym' class where he/we did a lot of wandering about and I had the occasional chat with the staff and other mums. He got the contact with other kids but it was 'low maintenance' contact. On the other hand, I went to a music class and it was very difficult to stop my son running around the room and plinking on the piano and it was far too stressful. Soft play is great...initially it was a nightmare because he couldn't be near other kids and would scream and cry but as time has gone on and I have exposed him to it over and over again, the fun has overridden the fear - he loves the exercise and really tries to interact with other kids. Of course, I have to keep a close eye on him but I don't have to chat to anyone if I don't want to! I suppose the thing is that most of the things mums do, they have to speak to other mums. A lot of it is 'Hi, how are you? My isn't ...... getting big? etc etc' It's all variations on a theme and I keep schtoom and watch when I'm not sure. I suppose I'm not too bad at small talk and I've always been fascinated by human interaction and studied body language and facial expressions, long before I ever believed I had AS.

I absolutely know now that 2 kids is my limit! The very limited personal space is hard, especially when it's a tough day. The way I used to cope when I was childless was to go out by myself, quite often late at night - can't really do that now! It would be daft to consider a third child when I recognise that I struggle with all the noise and the mess! In all honesty, YOU are an inspiration to me because I have no idea how I would juggle going out to work and organising my home life at the same time and definitely not with a baby!

I also think the coping tactics I have learnt over the years will be viewed not as coping tactics but just that I don't have issues with things. Hi Dekra Good Luck with your course - you are brave going back as a mature student! Whatever way you get the help you need for your course, I hope you get it I tried to go to the local toddler group and was coping with it (just) until some helpful person thought they would try to help me fit in more by asking me to help with the snacks. It was hell. All I wanted to do was sit in the corner and let my son explore and hopefully play with other children (this was when he was first crawling so his lack of interaction with other children was put down to his not seeing other children often). I did 3 toddler groups with my son. One of them, I used to wheel him in in his buggy and he'd start screaming. I felt stressed out most of the time I was there but my problem has always been not that I couldn't chat to other mums but that I would fear that they would see how stressed out I was and think I was a rubbish mum and dislike me. Now, I can look back and realise that it was probably the close proximity of the other kids to him that upset my son and possibly that the ceiling in the room was low and because of this the room was quite dim with flourescent lights - my own pet hates!! One group I felt (and my son felt) quite comfortable in. It was quite a small group and there was no cliqueyness. I had to leave though because I couldn't stomach the jobsworthy attitude of the council 'Group Co-ordinator' who supposedly 'ran' the group - I knew that I would say something to her face sooner or later!? The third group was by far the most difficult one and it helped me realise just how difficult I found it being around a group of women. This toddler group transported me back to secondary school. It was all bitching and competitiveness and I didn't feel comfortable at all. I always felt I was doing things 'wrong' and I always had the feeling that there was an undercurrent of what I did not know! The weird thing of course is that I can talk to many of these women individually but it was the group dynamics that dumbfounded me Second time round I decided that I would have to think long and hard before I started another toddler group. About the time I thought my little girl would start benefitting from going to one I was lucky to get a place at a group that a friend goes to and I never went to before. Again, it's quite small and there's virtually no responsibility and with my friend being there, there's a lot less pressure to have to mix too much. It helps that my wee girl just sits and smiles at everyone too

I also think the coping tactics I have learnt over the years will be viewed not as coping tactics but just that I don't have issues with things. Hi Dekra Good Luck with your course - you are brave going back as a mature student! Whatever way you get the help you need for your course, I hope you get it I tried to go to the local toddler group and was coping with it (just) until some helpful person thought they would try to help me fit in more by asking me to help with the snacks. It was hell. All I wanted to do was sit in the corner and let my son explore and hopefully play with other children (this was when he was first crawling so his lack of interaction with other children was put down to his not seeing other children often). I did 3 toddler groups with my son. One of them, I used to wheel him in in his buggy and he'd start screaming. I felt stressed out most of the time I was there but my problem has always been not that I couldn't chat to other mums but that I would fear that they would see how stressed out I was and think I was a rubbish mum and dislike me. Now, I can look back and realise that it was probably the close proximity of the other kids to him that upset my son and possibly that the ceiling in the room was low and because of this the room was quite dim with flourescent lights - my own pet hates!! One group I felt (and my son felt) quite comfortable in. It was quite a small group and there was no cliqueyness. I had to leave though because I couldn't stomach the jobsworthy attitude of the council 'Group Co-ordinator' who supposedly 'ran' the group - I knew that I would say something to her face sooner or later!? The third group was by far the most difficult one and it helped me realise just how difficult I found it being around a group of women. This toddler group transported me back to secondary school. It was all bitching and competitiveness and I didn't feel comfortable at all. I always felt I was doing things 'wrong' and I always had the feeling that there was an undercurrent of what I did not know! The weird thing of course is that I can talk to many of these women individually but it was the group dynamics that dumbfounded me Second time round I decided that I would have to think long and hard before I started another toddler group. About the time I thought my little girl would start benefitting from going to one I was lucky to get a place at a group that a friend goes to and I never went to before. Again, it's quite small and there's virtually no responsibility and with my friend being there, there's a lot less pressure to have to mix too much. It helps that my wee girl just sits and smiles at everyone too

Never seen that one but will try to at some point! Sometimes I still hide behind a cushion or my fingers with zombie flicks but I do like 'em! My sis has been a hermit since her bubs was born and went away to Glasgow a few weeks ago for a 'romantic' weekend - right beside where they were filming the Brad Pitt film!!?? (she hadn't seen the news apparently) Made the mistake of watching 'Mirrors' which brought back my childhood phobia of the things - didn't see that one coming!

28 Days Later but not the sequel, 28 Weeks Later. That really was quite rubbish!

Is there somewhere on-line where you can donate to 'Find Your Feet'? I'd like to do so. <'>

I meant Donald, not onald

Don't judge a book by it's cover or in this case a film by it's title! It may be a little dated now but it's a classic and onald Sutherland is brillant as always And another one he was in 'Don't Look Now' - full on creep-fest but also brilliant!

Talking about blood-thirsty plants....'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'

Just remembered 'Little Shop of Horrors' while feeding my lil girl - 'Feed me! Feed me now!!!!' Don't normally like musicals too much but Steve Martin singing 'I am your dentist' is absolutely rib-ticklingly hilarious (for me)...

I'm glad you're feeling better Sometimes a new day means a new perspective on things It's difficult to know what your lecturer knows or doesn't know without asking him. That's the problem with second-guessing - it relies on guessing! I hope that things continue to improve and try not to try too hard!

Hi FD It sounds like you are having a really rough time and that at the moment you are very confused. If your behaviour is noticeably different from day to day around other people then it probably will be seen to be 'odd' because there needs to be a degree of consistency for people to be able to get to know you and it just doesn't 'compute' if the behaviour changes. It could be that the lecturer does not remember you writing in a form that you thought you had AS, in relation to the 'test' he got you to fill in. It could simply be a way of demonstrating that we all come in many shapes and sizes and have various personality types as you did say it was in the context of an 'icebreaker' but it must be very hurtful to be called 'mental' by people who don't know you! It may be worth speaking to your lecturer and explain how the discussion made you feel, especially as you are finding the social part of Uni quite difficult. I remember well what my classmates thought of me, including 'highly strung' and 'neurotic' when my anxieties completely overwhelmed me at Uni and how I ended up just withdrawing completely to the library. It may be worth seeking out help for your anxiety so that you can cope with classes and not be constantly preoccupied with your own behaviour in front of others. Lynda