dekra

Don't apologise Lynne, I was overly sensitive after a strained day yesterday and should have been more receptive to constructive comments regarding a perceived ability and it's limitations. I want to be able to ask questions in future and have honest answers from people here and not have you guys worry I'm going to snap at you if I don't like what I am hearing. So thank you for answering and let me give the apology. I may raise visual dysgraphia with the language resource people in a few weeks once Finn has settled in there and see if they have any concern in that respect. Certainly colouring in is an activity that Finn doesn't do at home - he has no interest so I don't push it on him. He comes home from nursery with paintings and drawings at times but there is never a badly drawn face or any recognisable object he just does not have the co-ordination to do it. Whilst he is good at recognising his shapes also he cannot draw them either. I am actually just realising now that I am buying Christmas presents for my 14 month old just how little Finn played with toys when he was smaller (and still doesn't). I almost feel like a new mum when I am going looking for appropriate toys to buy the little one as I have no experience of what her brother liked at the same age. Yesterday Faith independantly climbed onto Finn's rocking horse (one of those plastic little tikes kind) and was making it rock. Finn didn't have the co-ordination or balance to do that until around a year or more older. So many of the little signs that we missed when he was smaller that match with his GDD that as novice parents we just put down to natural differences in childrens development but which in hind-sight may have been another sign yet we were only really noticing his speech problems and lack of social interaction.

Sorry my reply this morning was more abrupt than it should have been after a day visiting my family who love to go on about my cousins daughter who is a month older than my son and who has a physical disability. They constantly compare but any area my son is ahead is dismissed. That said areas he is behind are also dismissed but with the subtle hint that yes he's certainly behind his cousin. Interestingly enough I noticed my interaction with family more as this is the first time I've been more than one of them at a time since I suspected that I myself may have AS. Was in town shopping with one of my cousins last week and she was there yesterday and I noticed both with me and the family in general she will suddenly interupt a convo and completely start a new one about people most of us either not or hardly know. Even I at my most obsessed turn the conversation around to my "pet" topic rather than such an abrupt change. Maybe it's the way my family are, either learnt behaviour or more AS traits without actual AS.

No he can't add 5 & 3 to get 8. Abstract addition is defo a lot more advanced than he is working at. He does understand if you have 4 items and need 5 then you need to find 1 more. I don't see why so many people are quick to knock me down here. I've spent 4 years where Finn's struggled to keep up with his peer group in so many ways is it wrong to be pleased he's ahead in one area? For myself I loved numbers as a child, still do really. My primary 3 teacher told my mother off for teaching me short division when the class were learning long division. My mum told her no-one at home had taught me short division. I'd just realised it was easier and quicker to do it that way rather than all the mess of long division - I was an still am very lazy, why make work for yourself when you can do something more efficiently.

He recognises numbers and also does bus numbers. If we are going anywhere he identifies the journey by the road we take eg "number 8" for the M8 or 736 for going to Braehead. He does not just count by rote but can independently put together numbers to get a new double digit number. For example today he met me at the door at nursery with large foam numbers 3 and 5 so I asked him what the numbers were and he said thirty five which surprised me as when counting by rote with me he usually stops around 30. That was what sparked the conversation about his skills at nursery. I know he understands relating numbers to things at least in smaller amounts as he usually counts objects, the numnber of chicken pops on his plate,people in a queue etc. He however cannot write his numbers, can't write his name which kids his age should be attempting although he can recognise his name and some other words. Even his drawing skills are non existent and I am anticipating problems on the writing side of things when the time comes.

Hi, I just picked Finn up from nursery and the teacher was telling me they were working on numbers today and he managed to count all the way to 69 today. He is 4 years and 3 months old. The standard kids his age are expected to know is 1-5 and children in primary 1 should be able to count to 10. It totally amazes me that he is obviously advanced in his numeracy yet they are considering holding him back from starting school until he is 6 instead of 5 due to his inability to communicate and therefore participate in the curriculum.

I wasn't able to get home on time for this, hope to catch it on repeat or iplayer later.

Thanks Lindy. Well I have been and he was ok, emphasised how AS is not a disability like more profound ASD and said not much can be done on NHS. I said all I needed was uni support which uni are happy to provide but they need of not a dx at least me to be on the process of a dx. He is doing a letter to psychologist but doesn't know if they will just refuse to look at me.

Well today is the say I bring the subject up with my GP. I am very nervous to do this. This GP has seen me at my worst. I feel self-conscious enough admitting I am now a student nurse and expecting him (and the practice nurse who I see this morning for blood tests too) judging me on the fat, scruffy mess I used to be. They shouldn't but I still expect them to. So bringing up AS terrifies me. I choose this Dr as I generally find him understanding and knowledgeable but I am still concerned about my concerns being derided and dismissed. But now I have decided to pursue this course of action I plan to see it through and if this GP won't co-operate then I will change GP surgeries later in the month when I move house and ask a fresh Dr with no preconceptions of me. That said I hope to not need to move surgeries as I think for myself husband and son the continuity of care would be better given our histories we don't need yo start again with Drs that don't know us.

It is a sad state of affairs that you had to put yourself and your family through this to get what the panel have rightly agreed is what your son is entitled to. I am however completely over the moon for you that you have succeeded and hope the new placement and provision allow your son to enjoy his years in education and achieve his true potential.

You can go see your GP now without your parents knowledge. Your GP just needs to know you understand the situation well enough that you don't need a responsible adult there to advocate for you. I would recommend you go see him/her asap and get things moving. As already said if you can get the ball moving whilst you are still legally a child you will get more help than if you wait a short time then go through the process as an "adult".

Firstly - DO NOT blame yourself. PND can happen to anyone and does not account for the level of difficulties it sounds like your little one faces. It sounds like you are now getting the processes in place that will lead to full dx and provision of SALT is underway so that is positive. Try not to focus on the negatives but on the positives and take it one day at a time if things are getting on top of you.

Amen to the whole "weird" thing. How many years have I believed I just was not a likeable person and that people thought me weird. Maybe I am and maybe they do. Maybe I just think they think me weird and as a result I act weird so they then DO think I am weird. Oh the circles in my head!!!

I have just taken the first tentative steps on the path to adult diagnosis myself. Similarly to yourself I first seriously considered AS as a possible condition myself whilst researching my 4 year old son's problems - he is likely to be HF ASD not AS but so much rang true about my life that I felt I should get professional guidance rather than wonder "Am I?" for the rest of my life. I am a mature student studying nursing and at 36 years old I am in a stable relationsship. Hy husband is very supportive. I feel for me pursuing a dx would help me understand myself more. Just the belief I have AS has helped massively already. I have made some poor choices in my life and whilst I do not blame AS it has obviously been a determining factor in all decisions I have made in my life both good and bad. I think a dx will further help me in that I can use my previous experiences combined with my knowlesge of both myself and AS and try to avoid similar mistakes in the future. My life is good at the moment and I want it to stay that way. We are all the product of our previous experiences and if we don't learn from them then we are doomed to make the same mistakes again. That is true for NT people as well as anyone on the spectrum of course. I think you need to ask yourself what will a formal dx gain you? Are you the type of person that will find some comfort in understanding or do you need the confirmation of professional dx? At your stage of life and with the success you have achieved and hurdles you have overcome I would assume you have developed plenty of coping strategies and you may not find anything helpful by a formal dx now. Personally it has become an obsession for me, I have a deep seated need to have confirmation. For my little boy however dx is much much more important as his whole education is ahead of him and I want him to have the best opportunities he can.

The lack of a common trait does not preclude a dx. I have had 2 babies yet I have never suffered a day's morning sickness in my life - that does not mean I was not pregnant.

Thanks ladies Justine I really hope they come up with something for you soon. It's been hard enough with 2 adults and 2 children in a 2 bed house, I can't imagine the stresses your whole family are under with the level of crowding you have. I admit to having been very very lucky in this respect and never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be offered something so soon and I do appreciate how fortunate we've been. I am just glad I decided that day to put the forms in and ask for medical points - tbh I expected them to dismiss it but the Occupational Therapist was lovely and understood the situation and difficulties faced by families with children that have ASD (or GDD).

I am left-handed for writing. I eat with a knife and fork right handed, but with a spoon left handed. To me using the same hand for the fork and spoon is logical. A lot of things my right hand is my dominant hand such as throwing. If I am using a knife to chop things or to spread butter/jam I use left hand - don't know what righties use. Brush my teeth with my left hand. When I am cleaning the baby after a messy nappy I use right hand for the cleaning. So there doesn't seem to be rhyme nor reason in how I use my hands.

Lol less than 24 hours after I wrote that I was offered a council house......weeeeeeee I'm moving. Oh ######, need boxes!

Well we were awarded 50 points (the lowest amount you get now) for accessible needs for Finn. The points were put on the system friday 22nd October and I had a phone call yesterday afternoon (Fri 29th Oct) to offer me a house! I am in shock tbh lol. The house in in an ok area in the next town over and seems to be in good repair from the outside. It is about 2 minute drive from his nursery and it's in the right catchement area for the primary school I will be registering for. There are 2 drawbacks to the property - firstly it does not have a bath only a walk in shower which is great for me but Finn does love his bath but I think he'll be happy enough enjoying his bubblebaths when he visits his gran. The baby hates baths and showers alike so she doesn't get a say! Secondly it is near the railway line. I have lived near a railway line before (closer than this house in fact) and after a few days I got used to the trains and they didn't bother me, however I also once lived near a very very busy dual carriageway and the constant 24 hour buzz of cars drove me crazy, the only time it was quiet was the early hours of Christmas day but even by mid morning it was picking up to uncomfortable levels. I only lasted a few months there! So what I don't want to do is move to this house and then discover Finn has similar issues with the trains. We are going to try going by the street when a train is due to assess the noise level and Finn's reaction. Also take him into the station to see how he copes with trains up close - hopefully try to get him interested in them to stop a fear developing. Since I got my driving licence when he was 17 months he's not been near trains but he never had an issue as a toddler so I am hoping this will be same now. The current tenant only gave notice on yesterday so I just got a call saying they were writing to me and would I like to view the property - ofc I would lol!! Tenant needs to give 4 weeks notice and I think council try to keep void time to a minimum but also do any work required between tenancies too so hopefully if the house is ok and we take it we might move in 5 weeks time! I really need to get saving, I only started my carpet savings fund on Thursday so £75 is not going to get me far!

Thanks Kathryn and Trekster. I think mainly I am going down this route for 3 reasons. 1. To understand myself more. Knowing about and accepting I may have AS has already helped me understand a lot of my behaviours and differences but I feel a formal dx will help me stop obsessing about if I am or not. Talking over somethings with my mum today and she tells me I am not obsessing about my past obsessions lol. She is trying to be supportive but at every turn when I try to explain how I felt about things in my childhood she explains them away. I was a notoriously fussy eater as a child and I asked if she knew from anything I said at the time if it was due to texture at all. She said no you were just fussy. OMG yeah I know that but there must have been a reason why and I was trying to see if she could help me identify the reason. 2. If I do have AS then I do not want to blame it for a lot of bad choices I have made in my life but it helps me explain to myself why I made those bad choices IYKWIM. Knowing not only my previous history of choices both good and bad is a guide for the future and understanding the reasons behind those choices again help me in the future. I want to make sure I give my best at uni and knowing my own failings and trying to avoid old traps will be essential. 3. I think I owe it to my son that I pursue a dx. I think this because in future years if he asks about it all if I say well I think I have AS but no dx then he will ask why I pursued his dx but not my own.

Congrats on the move Tally I am hoping to move within the next 6 month to a year (all depends on council waiting list unfortunately) and I really am dreading the actual packing up and moving although very excited by the possibility of a new place. I have been in this house almost 6 and a half years and I feel ready for a fresh set of walls now. This is the longest I have lived in any house since my childhood home and I want to move to the new house and make it the childhood home my kids remember when they are older. I don't want them thinking of 2 different "homes" IYKWIM.

Hi guys, Since I started my uni course I have found my old difficulties in group situations and with people in general are still there and need to be addressed in order for me to ensure I do well in my course and finally succeed in life. I've had too much of letting my issues influence the choices I make in a negative manner. I went to see the enabling support advisor at uni today. She already knew I suspect I may have AS as the form I had to submit when I made the appointment needs you to outline why you are going to see them. I spoke to her and she has experience with ASD in general and specifically has worked with a number of AS students. She says a lot of what I am saying does point to AS and whilst she is not qualified to give a diagnosis she does believe I should approach my GP and pursue a dx. She feels that whilst there is no active things that can me done they can do little things like warn me in advance of group work sessions and when I am out on placement my mentor can be asked to be specific about what she wants me to do or not want me to do so I'm not feeling more uncomfortable and out of place than neccessary. She has given me some info leaflets and I've to let them know if my GP agrees to send a referal to the relevant people. Was nice to be able to verbalise my problems with things and my concerns that I will allow my issues to control me and result in a poor performance at uni when academically I am able to do well. She listened and took me seriously and importantly did not think I was either mad or that it was all in my head. She understood about coping mechanisms and that being able to make myself do things was not the same as being able to do them in the same way an average person would IYKWIM. Anyway I am rambling but I now have a GP's appt for 10th Nov to discuss further and maybe get the ball rolling on a dx.

Try Autism Scotland rather than NAS - they are based in Alloa and will have better knowledge of Scottish services in general I would think.

Just so buzzing with excitement at the moment I had to share! I had my fob watch lying on the table and Finn picked it up and was trying to put it to his tummy, I think he thought it was a stethoscope. So I ran up stairs and grabbed the freebie stethoscope I got a few weeks back from my bottom drawer and showed him. He immediately lifted his t shirt so I could listen to his heartbeat then with a little help he tried to do mine. Not sure if he heard anything lol but that's not the point, the point was he was having imaginative play and was saying he was Dr Finn so he was able to relate the stethoscope and Dr's. So now he has the fob watch and steth :) If it isn't the very first it's close to the first and it's certainly the best example I have seen of him having imaginative play of any sort. I'm over the moon!

That is a long wait but at least you know the timescales you are working in. I find when they wont give you a timescale then the wait for anything is awful even if it turns out to be quite short.

No I am down in Ayrshire.