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About Charlray

  • Rank
    Norfolk Broads
  • Birthday 03/02/1977

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Exeter, Devon
  • Interests
    Reading, playing World of Warcraft, writing (although don't do this much now) and collecting Harry Potter memorabilia and Trading Cards

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  1. If it is any consolation I don't deal with touch that great either, and I am 35!! I have never really given hugs or kisses and feel very uncomfortable when getting or receiving them due to people having to invade "my space" and me being very touch sensitive and ticklish. I also don't really understand the hugging and kissing thing and although as and adult I have now learned there are some times and some people where this has to be done it does not make it easier. I have a lot of things that cause me problems and I am sure your son has a lot too. The only difference is as an adult I can explain and understand them better than your son can. If you could find out some of the difficulties he has then I am sure you and your family can work around these, which will make him feel less threatened and unsure resulting I am sure in him being less violent and difficult.
  2. Hi, not sure if this is what you are looking for but going to post here my OWN experiences and feelings on this subject. From my first year at Junior School to my last year at Comp/Senior School I was on the receiving end of emotional bulling. If this had been physical I think it would have been easier to deal with but as it was emotional then I found this very hard indeed. The bulling took various forms and at first I did not really understand what was happening was wrong but as I grew older I felt it more. It started off with name calling, which was not too bad and this then progressed onto being left out of things everyone else was included in, being used by people, name calling still but also belittling and making me feel I was a lesser person than they were. I changed school but it was worse where I moved to than where I had come from and I often came home and cried for hours. I think the isolation was almost as bad as the bulling as I so wanted to fit in and join them but it never happened then and to date that is still the case. So in answer to your question at the start "does having ASD make you more vulnerable" for me I would certainly say yes. Why? Because I am "different" to others which makes you a prime target and then when you react or don't react in the way they expect it can make it worse. Being bullied has also happened to me in my job in much the same way and although this was initially dealt with I was put back in the same situation regardless. Being bullied is something that has had a very negative effect on me. I dislike myself a lot, lack confidence in my own ability and often don't do things for this reason. Life is hard enough as it is and add bullying into the mix makes it a lot harder. One more thing before I go, the person who tells you "Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you" has obviously never been bullied emotionally as broken bones will repair. What happened to me has scarred me for life.
  3. Hello all. I am a 35 year old female from Exeter in Devon. I was only diagnosed with Mild to Moderate Aspergers Syndrome between 3 and 4 years ago. That said I have always known I am different, just have not know why or how. The diagnosis was paid for privately by my work who did it more to prove I did not have the condition, whch was not the case and now they have to recognise it. I am married to Adrian who is registered blind and living with someone with a disability makes it easier for us both to be more tolerant and accepting of the other person. Adrian has a 3 year old Black Labrador/Retriever cross Guide Dog called Gloria (Glo for short) who is really adorable. I love playing World of Warcraft on the PC, Reading and not so much now Writing too. I used to write poems which varied depending on how I was feeling but were always about things I knew. I also enjoy collecting things and have a large collection on Harry Potter memorabilia as well as various sets of Trading Cards, including Dr Who Battles in Time, Harry Potter (of course) and Match Attax to name a few. I always find socialising difficult but don't have a problem at work with talking to people there. I also don't have a problem talking with people on the phone. I have been working since I was 14 years old (on a work permit back then) and have never been out of work so it is possible for someone with Aspergers to get and hold down a job. It is just a lot of hard work to get to that stage (or at least I found it so). I have never had friends, I was bullied from the first year in my junior school until I left Comp/Senior school and therefore never really learned essential social skills I needed to learn. I never really trusted people either and although I really like school, I really hated the people there for making me feel so bad. I am more gulible than a lot of people and tend to take things literally so I understand I can be "fair game" and strange to others. I would really like to get some proper friends, not the "user friends" that I normally get, that I can talk to in real life over the phone, write to or even, eventually, meet up and socialise (or try to) with. Anyway enough about me. I hope you can tell me about yourselves and if there is anyone who might be willing to be a "friend" to me so I can find out what friendship is really like as having to admit I have never had one and never being able to turn to one when I need to really sucks!!!!
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