taggie

Hi, It's really hard sometimes isn't it? The most useful thing Iv'e learnt over the years, is no matter whats going on to try and remain calm. This isn't always easy but if I lose it in anyway, my sons behavior deteriates even further and it takes twice as long to sort the situation out. I found life much easier once I'd accepted that I was going to have to throw the normal parenting rulebook out of the window and interact with and judge this child in an entirely differant way.It really does help to find out as much as you can about ASD's. Learning what works for your particular child though is often a matter of trial and error. In our case motivators work well , i.e you do this, or stop doing that and I'll give you this (something that he really likes). Although there are certain areas e.g eating, where no matter what we do or say he won't budge and Iv'e given up trying. We found visual timetables useful when he was younger, he liked the structure they brought to activities. We try to keep to a stable routine for him, and prepare him well ahead for changes. He has become slightly more flexible as he's gotten older. It's been five years since our son was diagnosed and although it's still a bumpy journey in many respects, it has gotten easier. It can seem very scary and isolating, more so if family and freinds aren't understanding or tolerant but as time has passed Ive learnt to see that as their problem and not ours. Good Luck, Taggie xx

Hi, My son (nine, Aspergers) has recently started to stammer slightly. It's usually at the beginning of a conversation when he's tryng to find the words he wants to use. In his case I think it's probably got alot to do with poor processing skills. It doesn't seem to bother him but I will bring it up at his next SALT appointment. As far as I know stammering is quite a common problem in young children, but whether its more prevelant in children with ASD's I don't know, Taggie xx

Hi, We've tried various things with our son, but none of them have been successful in the long term. He attended Beavers with his cousin for a while but wouldn't mix with the other kids and found the boisterous atmosphere stressful. Football training was an absolute disaster, he was completely unable to follow the rules, and had a meltdown everytime another child bumped into him or the ball hit him. We tried swimming lessons for a year but he made very little progress because he can't tolerate water in his face. He does enjoy the local baths though, if it's quiet, although he does get some funny looks as he still wears armbands at nearly ten. I used to feel terribly guilty at his lack of a social life, but have learned to accept him as he is. He's happiest at home with his computer and playstation which are his major obsessions and greatest source of enjoyment. Taggie xx

Thanks so much to all of you who replied to my post. It is true that all children are differant and I suppose you can't ever be sure that you've made the right decision untill youv'e seen the results in terms of your childs progress and wellbeing. We don't feel that a residential placement would be right for him at the moment, though we wouldn't rule it out in the future if local provision wasn't meeting his needs. I have looked around for independant schools for children with Aspergers syndrome, but there are none within traveling distance of our home. I do know the local mainstream school, it's a good school in terms of academic achievement. but is very large (1300), and all of the things you descibed as happening to your sons i.e bullying, isolation, loss of self esteem, unable to learn etc' are what I fear would happen to my son. It's interesting that my older son, who's recently left this school to move onto college, and had a good experiance there, feels very strongly that we shouldn't send his brother there as 'he wouldn't be able to stand up for himself.' We are planning to go and see the SENCO of the mainstream school, and visit the special school, aswell as a much smaller mainstream school that is a little further away so I'll keep you imformed! Thanks again for sharing your experiances with me, it is reassuring to know that we're not alone in facing these challenges.

Hi, Im Taggie and new to the forum. Like so many of you, are biggest headache at the moment is education. Our son ( nine years old, Aspergers Syndrome) is currently in year five of a mainstream primary school where he has coped reasonably well with support. His transition annual review is to be at the end of March when we have been asked to name a secondary school. Our son is academically able, but very passive and socially isolated, He is also very rigid and has sensory difficulties. He also has quite marked pragmatic language dificulties which further affects his ability to relate to his peers. His primary school agrees with us that he would find the envoironment of a mainstream high school very difficult to adapt to and have suggested that we have a look at a small special school that is predominantly for children with moderate learning difficulties but which has a base for children with ASD's. Although this school can provide a safe envoironment and a high level of individual support it is unlikely that the curriculum can support his academic ability. He would get full time 1 -1 support in mainstream. My gut instinct says that he will be happier in the small special school but am I sacrificing his potential? Do any of you have experiances of more able children being successfully placed in special schools or vice versa? Thank in advance for any replies, xxx

Thankyou all for your warm welcomes !!

Hi Everyone, registered on the forum six months ago, have made frequent visits, but am ashamed to say that this is my first post.I live in Liverpool and have two sons, one aged nine with Aspergers syndrome and a seventeen year old with dyspraxia, who we feel is probably also on the outer edges of the autistic spectrum though he's never recieved a formal diagnosis.Life is never dull in our home, we sometimes feel that we live in a parralell universe to our families and freinds but despite the challenges, we love our boys to bits and see many good things in their differant ways of experiencing the world. It's been good to read your posts and to see that many of you have similar issues to us. Taggie xx