l'anima semplicetta

You said exactly what I wanted to say, Merry Adult diagnosis can pull you in a lot of different directions (it certainly did in my case), but the bottom line was forgiving myself for my childhood/adolescence/early adulthood. Everything fell into place, and while this wasn't always easy, it has laid a lot to rest. Disclosing to a parent is a tricky issue, and I guess you have to weigh up whether the parent could/would understand, what you could gain by telling them, and how would it affect you if they could't handle it. I chose not to tell my parents, as I in my case there was little to be gained, but everyone is different. Good luck, whatever you decide!

Thanks for the replies and apologies for not getting back to this thread sooner. Thank you for all the empathising and advice ... it seems I am not alone in this! I am grateful to Tanya52 for suggesting Mindfulness - I have practised this on and off for a few years now, and when things get beyond a certain level (i.e. a couple of weeks ago), I tend to forget it even exists and get caught up in a bit of a vicious circle where nothing works and I lose the will power to even try! However, this was a timely reminder and jolted me out of my state of mind to a certain extent. Although the GP prescribed ADs, I have put them on hold (with his knowledge) for a couple of weeks of 'effort' if you like. I'm going to see if I can get some relief from exercise (something else that has worked in the past), as well as some enforced mindfulness, and a bit of time away from the workplace (- I have the flexibility to work from home sometimes). This appears to be working, although it's too soon to tell, but I definitely feel a lot better. Any yes, I refuse to let a few idiots at work beat me ... The similar stories are useful though, as it is a reminder that I'm not the only one who struggles with this sort of thing. I've always managed to stay in work, but I have quite a repertoire of strategies for avoiding people if I'm getting worn out by others. One is a little greasy spoon cafe near to work where no colleagues would go ... doesn't do a lot for my waistline, but it's not noisy and I never see anyone I know there. Hope everyone is getting on OK as well - thanks again, this site can be a real support at times like this

This has been a life-long issue, on and off, rears its ugly head from time to time and all gets a bit much. I never take time off for stress, but I do have the flexibility to disappear behind a locked door or work from home when things get tough ... and I am very grateful for that, although I have one or two really nice colleagues who get worried when I do that! Over the last few months things have got pretty bad though, all colleague-related. All the gossip, cliques and ego-bashing that goes on has just completely worn me out. I know it's nothing personal, as the people in question are known for it, and it's likely to be me being over-sensitive to it all, but I just cannot let it go. It builds up over time, I say nothing (I'm not really in a position to challenge them and I can't deal with workplace conflict), and in the end I overload. Taking a step back, I know it's just what happens in most workplaces, from a personal perspective, it is utterly exhausting and draining. That's pretty much where I am now. I can work 50-60 hour weeks with no issues in terms of work pressure, but on-going relatively low-level colleague stress can get to me pretty easily however long or short my week is. I have struggled with anxiety-related issues all my life, so I do at least tend to know when things are going wrong ... intesrests become obsessions, can't sleep, can't get people incidents out of my mind. I have a good GP who who knows I struggle with anxiety on and off and who is happy for me to go back on ADs for a bit without an interrogation ... they've worked before (I started to dislike the 'couldn't care less attitude' they seemed to produce - I'd love that feeling right now). Just wondering if anyone who knows this situation/feeling has any advice to offer?

I'd say - and this is only my opinion of what I'd do if it was me - only disclose if you think you are going to need some adjustments making. You are under no obligation to disclose, and so it is your decision. I haven't disclosed in my workplace, as there is no more they could reasonably do (and they inadvertently put me in an office on my own which suits me just fine). I am in informal contact with the DSO people, but hopefully this is all it will need to be. I'm guessing the TESOL course is reasonably short-term unless you are doing it part-time (I did one myself many moons ago)?

It's a real shame, but my experience has not been positive with the NAS. I tried to phone them for advice a couple of years ago ... and I really needed some targeted advice. No answer, repeatedly. So I emailed them. Nothing - for a month, and then quite a helpful reply, but it was too late, the moment had passed and I had sought advice from elsewhere. Fast forward a couple of years, and without going into detail, I needed to ask NAS (different department) about relevant research and interest - no response at all. This was about something that could benefit children with AS. Nothing, nothing, nothing ... not even an acknowledgement or 'we can't assist/we're not interested." If I treated the people I worked with like this, I would (rightly) be criticised. Very disappointed and the main reason my membership has not been renewed, I'm afraid. I think they are probably very effective in certain areas, but this provision is uneven and we don't need that ...

Welcome as well from me Awesome post #2 Lyndalou, although all are good. Female AS is a topic very close to my heart ... more needs to be done, more will be done, but it'll take time!

Hi Amberzak, Teaching is a tough job but it needs the right people, and number one on that list is people who really want to teach - like you. Training to teach is also tough, but once you are through it, it does get easier. Whoever told you or implied that you should not be teaching with AS is likely in contravention of the DDA, as well as showing ignorance of the condition and how it affects different people in different ways. AS in itself is neither a bar nor a barrier to teaching (although the staffroom may never be the easiest of places - lots of teachers don't indulge in staff room politics though, so would never be alone). Try not to be too hard on yourself. It sounds as if you are painfully aware of the ways in which AS may have a negative impact. However, do not forget the positive - teachers with AS are likely to be equitable and fair, aware of the individual differences of pupils (especially those with ASD or traits), use less sarcasm (that most children hate) and be incredibly consistent and reliable. Good NT teachers will have these qualities as well, but what I am trying to say is that AS should not be a bar to success with the right support. I speak from experience - over a decade teaching kids, been in HE teaching big kids for a few more years and still loving it PM me if you want to chat.

As above - better to look into it now rather than in a few years' time. There are indications that there may be traits, so now it is time to get a professional on board to investigate it properly. From what you have said, you have sufficient grounds to request some sort of assessment - it doesn't have to be specific to ASD in the short-term. Good luck with it all.

Can I just say how well the current moderation seems to be working? I tend to drop in occasionally here, but time constraints and also uncertainty about whether to post or not have stopped me contributing in the past as much as I would have liked (- took me a while to even register). While I am not aware of the previous issues described, I think it is great to have taken such a proactive stance in reaching a consensual level of moderation. Many forums never achieve this (and nor do they try), so this bodes well. I have been actively put off signing up to other ASD forums due to the amount of trolling or just the rather combative nature that can be apparent at times (but there is another non-UK forum that I do like). People being people will never agree 100% of the time (and I love a good debate), but I agree that in terms of moderation it often means treading a fine line. Keep up the good work

Autism and empathy is a thorny topic, and remember that most (if not all) research done in this area has been by people not on the spectrum trying to understand. My own -personal - belief is that people with ASD can have empathy in abundance, but that it can only be expressed once you understand the social stuff going on around you. Aspies often empathise with other Aspies far better than with NTs. For me, it just means that it has a different, more complex route to being expressed because of all the incomprehensible social stuff that gets in the way. I have come across some wonderful examples of this in autistic children that would/should amaze many experts.

Yes, interesting post and I like AM's comment above. There are lots of reasons why people can have difficulties with their sense of identity, and it could be that people with AS have more than their fair share of difficulties. However, from my perspective, I actually found that the diagnosis of AS actually reaffirmed my sense of who I am ... maybe I am just less bothered about forcing myself to fit in these days

The media and the public have a long way to go before they start to understand the differences associated with people on the spectrum ... I think it will probably improve over time, but it horrifies me the way they strive for the simplest solutions. Life just ain't that simple and it never will be. I guess Adam Lanza must have had a particularly toxic combination of factors and events that resulted in last week's terrible act. When you see the psychological profile of these shooters, they share a lot of risk factors, but so do many people who never go on to commit a violent act or even consider it ... maybe life's loners are more likely to commit this sort of act, but that doesn't mean that every loner is a potential killer, in the same way as not everyone who can kick a ball is going to play like Beckham (sorry, poor analogy). An interesting (and chilling) finding is that most of these shooters have been severely bullied in the past - again, it doesn't make victims into killers, but it does raise questions about the way society deals with bullying (or not).

Special_talent 123 is correct - no one will need to be reassessed (and I suspect Asperger's will still be used by professionals for a long time yet), with everything becoming part of the autistic spectrum or ASD/ASC. High-functioning autism has never been in the DSM but it is routinely used by professionals and in research.

The calm need for excitement in this life ... I'm working on it! I am also a big softie for dogs

Hi, I agree with trekster that you only need to declare AS/ASD if you want adjustments to be made - I'm pretty sure you are under no obligation to disclose it. Also, you won't need to say you are autistic, as I suspect it will be more a case of saying you are diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum, which does sound nicer (I think).