Flower1983

Morning. School are sorted! He's allowed to use the ones in the boarding school upstairs (he doesn't board) - no one uses those during the day and they will go through it with him today at school! That's one more thing sorted! Move on to the next problem now - thanks everyone :-)

Hello - thank you for responding. It's so refreshing to know he's not the only one! Sally - he says he won't use them because someone can come in, people can hear you and they smell Thanks.

Hi Lisa. Thank you for your reply. It's good to know its a common problem and that your specialist doesn't seem too concerned about it. I'll see if school will let him use a different toilet - his mainstream one did so hopefully his a Aspergers school will. Thank you :-)

Hello all - thank you for your replies. There's some good advice so I will try some. I think the drink and snack time may work. Sally - he's been to see various doctors & a urologist and they say it should correct itself and just keep it clean with water, no soap and no cream. I think a lot of his not liking public toilets is probably down to his sensory issues. I just wasn't sure whether I needed to worry as much about his lack of drinking and how bad it is for his bladder to hold it in for 9 hours. He tells me he needs it but it goes away! I'll see how I get on, thank you!

Hello, thank you for your replies. Chris - it's the smell and the lack of privacy I think. He's very private at home and hates using the barhroom if anyone's nearby. My son only really drinks when I remind him to or give him a drink. Occasionally if we are out or at bedtime he will ask for a drink! I'm wondering if he's not drinking as he doesn't like using the toilet - or if it's because he doesn't feel thirsty; or make the connection? Another thought is he has always had a sore penis on the tip (it is under review and been seen by a specialist). I'm wondering if because it's probably sore for him to wee, has he always drank less so he wouldn't have to go to the toilet very often do you think? He's 10 and has had a sore penis since he was 1year. So, any tips on drinking more or encouraging toilet use would be great! Thanks :-)

Hello In comparison to everything else we have been through, this does seem minor; but I am concerned for my sons future bladder Heath. He's 10, has a diagnosis or aspergers. He holds his wee in from leaving home at 8:15am - 4:30pm - even then he doesn't go as soon as he gets home. He won't use the toilet when we are out or at friends houses and it is very difficult to get liquids down him. Any advice to how I can encourage either of these things would be great. I've tried sticker charts to try and get 6 glasses a day in him - didn't work! Is this a common problem with aspergers? Thank you in advance

Thank you all for your advise. We have had brilliant news - the LA has agreed funding for our choosen school! My son is going to look around next week and I think will then have a transition period up until Xmas before starting officially in January. I had a meeting with his current school on Wed to see how they are going to manage him until he leaves and he is now doing half days until he leaves and is still not following the curriculum. We're doing work with him at home. Just need to sort out the transport side now, he lives between me & his dads so I'm not sure if they will collect from 2 places? Transport has been agreed - just not the formalities.

I'm presuming he has been to a mainstream school before he then attended the PRU? There's the Lighthouse School in Leeds, but they only take them from high school age. My local National Autistic Society branch did advise me that my son (9 at the time) could maybe be home schooled by staff from there and then could attend there at 11 - if the local authority agreed. I haven't gone down that route so didn't look into it so I can't say that's a definite. Also, West Yorkshire isn't my LA. We are now going down an independent school route. Have you spoken to parent partnership about other options? My local one has been quite helpful. We researched special schools in the area within an hours drive and looked around them to see which one we thought would best suit his needs.

The school is independent/non maintained. It is specifically for boys with Aspergers and you need to be academic with most of their boys being gifted & talented in at least 1 subject - which mine is in 3, he fits the criteria as it's for boys who want an education and are fully able; but struggle within the mainstream environment. I will speak to the inclusion officer from the LA, who is my point of contact, on Mon and see if she has any further news on the funding and of course about my situation with him returning to mainstream. According to the head of the independent school, she is keen for my son to attend there and feels he needs to, but obviously her job is to try and keep children within the mainstream, so she would be the one against us if it went to tribunal. However she did say she hasn't had to do one for 2 years and was giving us advise on what to say if it did go to tribunal. If she seems positive, I will confirm the arrangements for my son to visit. I'm not sure if different county's do it differently, but as far as I'm aware we wait for the funding go ahead, then the LA contact the school we want and send all his paperwork across, then the school make the decision to whether they can meet his needs.

We are quite hopeful they will agree to the school we want - but don't want to get our hopes up. Everyone is saying the right things to us and it looks like it's going in the right direction. The fact they haven't denied funding, just want more questions clarified like class sizes etc which I know the autism outreach will clarify he needs small. The other 2 LA schools which were suggested for him, autism outreach have said to me they aren't suitable as it's the same type of school he's in now - mainstream with a unit where he would spend time equally in both. So it sounds like there aren't any other options within a reasonable traveling distance or within our county.

The LA called a week ago to say that funding hadn't been denied for our school choice, but that they need more questions answered from the autism outreach team. Autism outreach also contacted me on the same day to say LA had asked that of her and that it was a formality as she had already put the answers in her report to them, but they needed specific things clarifying. I'm not sure how long this will now take for the final decision to be made (then we have tribunal if we don't get the school we want). I'm pretty sure she will have by now given the LA everything they need. LA told me that her answers won't need to wait until the Dec panel meeting - so I'm hoping it will be in the next couple of weeks. We (sons dad & I) visited the independent school again yesterday. They seemed keen to get on with the home visit next week and also book a visit for my son to visit the school the week after - but we have provisionally booked those in as we don't want to get my sons hopes up if the LA don't agree. On the other hand, he will have to visit 3 times apparently to see if he fits in and they need all his paper work before they can make their decision. So maybe we should risk it and start that to save time? Bed32 - we are in the same situation! I'm finding it all very stressful as this process is taking so long. My son isn't in the classroom either and isn't following the curriculum. He has a useless 1:1 who we said in July wouldn't work, they paired them up anyway and it's gone down hill since then. My son hated him last year and we knew he lacked skills and any knowledge or understanding of Aspergers. He punishes him regularly and its so stressful for my son. So I'm guessing now I phone up the LA on Monday and explain the situation and see what they suggest? I feel I need to be careful what I say so will have to work this one out! I don't want to send him to school with nothing in place to try and prevent him having huge meltdowns, so I think a meeting with the correct people should happen before he returns? The head is very rude and patronising towards me so I don't want any meetings without a professional there. Thank you for you help, I really appreciate it. Last night I had thought I should remove him, but I'm pleased I have asked advise from people in a similar situation.

Thank you for replying! I have made a doctors appointment for the beginning of next week incase we want to go down that route. I agree that it's best to keep him in school so it's easier for him to settle at special school when we get the decision to which one. I have contacted his autism outreach worker for advise but haven't heard back yet. Have school got a responsibility to meet his needs whilst he is still there, even tho they have told the local authority they can no longer meet his needs? I can't believe how down hill it's gone since they said they can no longer meet his needs 1 month ago. He was only back for a week before being excluded again. Thanks

My son has a diagnosis of Aspergers. They didn't really ask much about his speech during the diagnosis process. His speech was 'normal' it was def not early, if anything, slightly late. His autism outreach team teacher said the difference between AS & HFA is that AS are more likely to want friends, but can struggle to keep them/make them and that HFA only really make friends if it benefits them. I'm not sure if this is true.

Hello People were a great help on here last time so I'm back! To try keep it brief, my son (10) is currently in mainstream school. His statement has been changed to special school and the panel from the LA have met to discuss funding for our chosen school (out of LA and expensive as its a school for boys with AS) so we are waiting on their decision. Then the special school need to see if he 'fits' in with them and they can meet his needs. His mainstream school appear to have given up on him and he is having an even more terrible time then he usually does. He has been excluded again today for the 2nd time in 3 weeks, for 3.5 days. His melt down today; where he ruined school property could have been avoided if they had dealt with it properly. He also came home with red marks from being restrained. My question is, am I within my rights to take him out of school while the local authority make their decision? Would people advise I do? - I don't want it to mess up any decision which is to be made. Thank you in advance

Hello People were a great help on here last time so I'm back! To try keep it brief, my son (10) is currently in mainstream school. His statement has been changed to special school and the panel from the LA have met to discuss funding for our chosen school (out of LA and expensive as its a school for boys with AS) so we are waiting on their decision. Then the special school need to see if he 'fits' in with them and they can meet his needs. His mainstream school appear to have given up on him and he is having an even more terrible time then he usually does. He has been excluded again today for the 2nd time in 3 weeks, for 3.5 days. His melt down today; where he ruined school property could have been avoided if they had dealt with it properly. He also came home with red marks from being restrained. My question is, am I within my rights to take him out of school while the local authority make their decision? Would people advise I do? - I don't want it to mess up any decision which is to be made. Thank you in advance

Thank you for replying! We have only started to push the drinks more recently as we thought there may be a connection to not drinking enough and leaking? His dad read that somewhere. He is very stressed with school so it could be down to that. Just unsure of what we can do - as in why such small amounts and how we can help to stop it happening. I'm pretty sure it's not wet dreams yet.

Hello We have now looked around the mainstream school that the LA want our son to go to. We went very open minded as we decided it could be a good place and if its that difficult to get him in to Aspergers school, then this may be an option. Anyway, the head mistress said to us that she didn't feel it was a suitable setting for our son. The schools specialist provision is for children with speech, language & communication difficulties, and autism. For children who have been out of mainstream for a while and will benefit from the transition period of a small class to mainstream. None of that is suitable for our son. Why pull him from one mainstream to another, where he'll start off in a classroom which takes children from reception age onwards, mainly with speech & communication problems, all different academic ability. As it is a speech etc school, it is absolutely covered from floor to ceiling in picture, words etc. visual sensory overload. It also is on huge grounds and the gates aren't locked. My son runs off from school (and me) and myself and the head had concerns about that. She said she wouldn't let him play out often due to the worry of that. My sons current school have said they can't back us up to the LA for AS school, as my son is moving on educationally. What about his other needs tho? 2 big incidents have happened this week, he's run off and got to the gate, had to be restrained and brought back in. Got a phone call on fri at work to say there had been an incident that morning where he had attacked at 1:1, run off to the music room and thrown stuff around - my son says its because he was making an Easter card and the 1:1 said 'you can do better then that' - which then caused a meltdown. Got review meeting mid April. Stuck as what to do really. At least we've ruled out school LA want him to go to. As long as they can't make him go there? If we keep him where he is (as we have no back up from current school now) - how much say so we have in his next 1:1? What else can we suggest to make his life happier there? It's all so difficult! We just don't know what's best for him. Sorry for the rant. Thank you in advance for any advise

Hello Has anyone else had a similar experience or can advise me on this please. My son, aged 9, has started to leak urine during the night and occasionally during the day. It's only a small amout and doesn't wet his bed, just his pj bottoms, which he then changes (he doesn't like dirty things). He can go through 3 pairs of pj bottoms a night. This only started a few months ago. He's never had a problem and was toilet trained over night at aged 3 with no accidents. He's not good at drinking enough during the day abd has to be reminded. We are working on that. It's becoming an issue now as its happening averagely 5/7 nights per week and will start to affect his social life (friend staying over etc). Thank you in advance for any help anyone can offer.

I think the school will be fine academically, they have boys doing maths alevels a few years before they are meant to. Each child has an individual timetable based on their needs and ability. It slightly does worry me socially as he'd be the youngest with most boys being high school age. Also, a lot of the boys are happy with their own company. My son does want friends, just struggles to make them in the first place and then keep them. Still tho, its got to be better then the stress & anxiety of where he is now. Where his peers are moving on from him and know his triggers so are horrible to him as he gives such a spectacular reaction for them to watch. Sally - that is all brilliant and so helpful as I'm at a loss as to how much and what I need to write in this report. Parent partnership want me to email a copy to them first to check it before the meeting. Would you at this point say that we have viewed the L.A school with the communication unit and why we don't feel that school is suitable? Thank you!

Thank you everyone for your advise so far! Very much appreciated! My son is in year 4. EMS (Enhanced mainstream school) - as far as I am aware different mainstream schools can provide specialist provisions for different needs. My sons current school provides support to children with behavioural, emotional and social difficulties. The school the L.A will probably suggest is enhanced by the Local Authority, to support children with Communication and Interaction difficulties. They would then suggest he goes to the highschool which continues from that school which has a unit for children with Autism. I know a boy with AS who already attends this primary school and it works like Sally said earlier. The children (they currently have 3 pupils) stay in the 'cherry' class for some of their learning and then will go between there and the mainstreem school - suited to the child needs. I do not feel this will suit my son as he is struggling in a class of 30 now, he's not going to cope with going between a class of 4 and then 30. How is he suppose to take part in all areas of school life, playtime, assembely etc. I also don't know at this point the range of abilities in the 'cherry' class. We have an appointment on Tuesday to look around and ask all these questions. Also, he does not deal with change very well, this is already his 2nd primary school (due to moving area), he would then go to a 3rd primary and then have the transition to a high school with 1500+ pupils - not good. The school of our choice is from aged 9 to 18 so only one transistion. The school we would like him to attend is for boys with Aspergers/HF Autism/ADHD. They dont have class sizes larger than 7. I feel my son can fit in and feel 'normal' here. He cries and begs me not to send him to school and says he just wants to be 'normal' without a 1:1, without a special table, without special jobs & without everyone talking about him. My son is bright and is on the schools gifted and talented register for 3 subjects. The current school is definatley not meeting his need academically. I would say he is top of the class in most subjects, when he is 'naughty' they sometimes send him in to the year above and the teacher has commented how he is better at maths then most of the year 5 pupils. My son has 2 friends but it is becoming apparent that children are less forgiving to his outbursts the older they are becoming. My son tells me that he doesnt know what to do or who to play with in the playground. I feel he gets no support form his 1:1 who supports him at playtime to help him with this. He feels lonely at school. Sally - the questions you ask are all relevent for me to put in the report, with my answers obviously. Thank you! Please can you explain about his cognitive ability? He has sensory issues which the OT has put in her report from 2 years ago. Is it worth asking for the OT to come and re assess him so it is more up to date? He is under CAMHS (just). We have an appointment with them in 2 weeks. He keeps refusing school, feels sick most of the time, cant sleep due to the worry and high anxiety about school, is hurting himself at home & school (head banging on wall and kicking the wall in bare feet mainly) and threatens to kill himself. I keep asking for him to be re reffered to a SALT but so far nothing has come of that. I asked my GP about 6 weeks ago again, but have heard nothing. His speech is fine (apart from he does speak quickly) but I wanted it more for his social use of language. After diagnosis all the professionals who were involved with him have signed him off. It seems to be very difficult to get any support or help from anyone. If we are going down the route of a private Phyc, any ideas of costing for this? I was thinking i would probably have to pay for someone to represent me if it goes to tribunal. Thanks again :-)

Hello. My 9 year old son is currently in a mainstream school. He is really struggling to conform and the school aren't meeting his needs. He's very down and is crying and begging me daily to let him move schools. I have looked around a school which is for boys with Aspergers. My son fits the criteria perfectly but according to the potential new school and the local authority, it'll be a fight to get him in. This is due to the cost of the school as its very expensive for the local authority & there is another local mainstream school with an EMS unit for autism. My son has a diagnosis of Aspergers and a full statement. We have started the ball rolling and have an emergency statement review in 6 weeks time. I have to write a report for the meeting stating why the current school can't meet his needs etc. Has anyone been in a similar situation and can advise me or give me pointers and tips for the process or as to what to put in the report. Thank you in advance!