Mihaela

No, I don't pay anything. I couldn't afford to anyway, but I'm not yet getting support that they think I'm entitled to and need. I not only feel vulnerable, but I am vulnerable, and have been exploited and bullied all my life, both by individuals and officialdom. Now that my parents have gone, I have no-one to protect me so I'm keeping clear of all strangers. Now that I know that I have AS, people are beginning to believe me at last (that's other than my parents, who always did). Crucially, the Autism Act makes no distinction between 'high and low functioning' people, yet as you say it may as well do, for us late-diagnosed Aspies are being swept under the carpet. Perhaps they're waiting for us all to die off. Yes, I'm so-called 'high-functioning' but only intellectually. My thinking patterns cause my executive dysfunction. Emotionally I'm like a 12-year old, socially, I'm pretty dysfunctional. I coped with all of these disabilities quite well as long as I had support from my parents. All I ask is for support with my executive function - bills, money, dates, etc. Something needs to be done about the way we are being ignored. Why aren't the NAS pushing for the Autism Act to be followed? Why aren't those organisations that flagrantly breach their statutory duty being prosecuted? What's the point in having this law if they're getting away with pretending we don't exist?

Sorry, I must have just missed your last post somehow. Staying focussed is my problem too. My mind's just far too active, and this is why I have executive dysfunction. I can only stay focussed if I work on my special interests - and then for hours on end! Remove distractions can help a little too,.

I don't have ADHD, so I'm sorry I can't really advise, but I do have strong ADD traits. One of my cousin's ADHD though, and it was found to be caused by artificial colourings in food and drinks. Once he began avoiding these he was fine, "...completely avoid the state school system, which is not fit for any child". I agree, and for many reasons, however, unfortunately few of us have much choice. To 'give in' to this pressure may mean abandoning principles, and some of us wouldn't be happy about doing this. A private education is generally preferable, but a good home education would be ideal. More and more parents of autistic-spectrum children are taking that course. Food, avoid being a vegetarian, even more important not a vegan. I can only speak for myself, but I'm virtually vegan, and have been since I was about 19 - due entirely to my concern for animals. I've always been physically fit and do a lot of walking. Only recently (after my mother's death) have I started to neglect my diet spending less and less - due the stress of having AS without support for executive dysfunction. I don't want to start going downhill because of this. I drink the cheapest instant coffee twice a day (weak) and very weak black tea (once a day) with cocoa at night. I very rarely drink anything alcoholic, and have never touched tobacco or drugs. I'm lucky in that I've never needed to take painkillers or medication all my adult life.

I attend local NAS branch meetings, but I've been seeking support from various local groups for ages. These groups have helped me in various small ways several times, but I've also been sent round in circles many times. Consistent ongoing support, which is what I need, is still something I haven't got. I believe local councils have a legal duty to provide support to anyone on the autism spectrum who needs it, whatever their IQ, but they're ignoring this - so what do we do next? Take them to court? With each passing month it gets more and more frustrating. Surely the NAS should be doing something to ensure that local authorities comply with the Autism Act.

Welcome! It all boils down to probabilities. How old is the child? Is it a girl or a boy? Traits generally differ between girls and boys. If a lot of boxes are ticked it's more likely that your child has Asperger's, or perhaps ADHD or PDD-NOS. You can only be certain when you get a professional diagnosis, however, misdiagnoses are quite common. I'm in the process of getting the diagnosis I should have had as a child but I'm now 100% certain that I have it. The more tests done and the more you read about it, the more likely you'll be to be sure - or not. Watching the many Youtube videos about children with autism spectrum conditions will help too.

Hello Akunin. If I was in your position I'd honestly not know what to do. Times are bad enough for setting up home, let alone if you're an unemployed aspie with pets. Years ago, when times were easier, I knew a friend who moved into a small eco-friendly home on a piece of land shared by similar people. I know there are still a few communities like this left in remote parts of Wales. In eastern Europe it's much easier to find places in the countryside. I read of a Frenchwoman who moved into an empty cottage in one of the 1000s of deserted villages in Russia. She had a whole village to herself and her pets, obtained all she needed from the neighbouring villages, and kept in touch with the outside world via the internet! I really envy that kind of life. I can well understand you needing somewhere quiet and wanting to keep your pets. Sorry I can't help you any more.

It wasn't clear in your opening post that coping with routine changes was the main issue. We are only trying to help, and we can only go on what you tell us, and gave no hint that you worked 12 hours a day. It sounds as if you cope far better than I would in those circumstances. You complain of being triggered but how are we to know what your triggers are without telling us? "on top of feeling phyisically low ,emotionally ive felt quite hopeless.....and self critical as to the way I Am...anyone else feel like this ever??" Yes, many times in my life. I can only tell you how I cope with routine changes. It may not apply to you at all. My routines aren't as rigid as yours (which helps) but, even so, changes can have devastating effects, and depending on what it is I can only cope with them by minimising them as far as possible, running away from them, and distracting myself with anything at all - special interests, music, walks, voluntary work, etc.

Dogs as props...interesting, for I've been tempted to have a dog for that same reason. There are a lot of dogless walkers where I live in Yorkshire and I'm just a minute away from a path which leads up the moors and I have lots of woods very nearby. I can easily find somewhere quiet with no people, and this is what keeps me over there. I need this psychological attachment to wild places. Here in Lancashire I'm at my parents' old home, and I'm psychologically very attached to it but I can't go for walks in quiet places without having to endure walking through suburbia first and a main road. And there's nothing like the choice of walks here as there is over there, but I do have the seaside. This is a very big thing in my life, clinging onto the past (this house) and being torn between the two places. My routine involves travelling backwards and forwards every couple of weeks (with my cats), a very drastic aspie routine, that I've been doing since 1988. Yes, I'm very fit, or at least I thought I was until I learnt my iron was low. I can walk many miles in a day. The only trouble is that eat I eat so little. How's your flu? Are you feeling any better?

At one time I felt like this but gradually I realised that I was only trying to be 'normal' and that it wasn't for me. I like my solitude and I'm never really lonely. I miss my parents being around to talk to though, for they knew me better than anyone else. I easily fall in love and this has been a failing, for like many Aspies I'm asexual, and people expect more than I can give. I'm afraid of getting into close relationships for I've been badly let down and exploited in the past. You speak of an aspie who abused you and was psychopathic. I had the same experience and it wasn't pleasant at all (I'm still trying to work out exactly what the other condition was - probably a combination of sociopathic PD and narcissistic PD along with pathological meanness). I think both aspie-NT and aspie-aspie relationships can work, and I've read of lots of success stories from both groups. I do hope you find someone worth keeping this time.

So would I! I once stayed overnight a few times at an almost derelict but still inhabited old manor house - a perfect place for a ghost, but I never saw anything. I've visited many old houses which are reputed to be haunted but only as a tourist and during daylight. I've had a few personal ghostly experiences too, so I'm convinced that they exist. I also experienced a poltergeist over a few weeks, and long since I came to the conclusion that I may have caused it. I'm attracted to numinous places where I can sense an 'atmosphere'. I like graveyards simply because they are quiet, peaceful places where nature is never far away. Reading the inscriptions makes me very aware of our fleeting time on earth.

Very poignant. It echoes how I've felt too, for most of my life.

I understand now. No, I'm not so bound by routines, but all same I don't like to break them. I also have some very odd obsessive compulsive rituals that I can't afford to ignore - so that number 3 thing makes sense too.

Couldn't you find anyone locally to walk the dogs from time to time? Maybe a local animal-loving older child would do it for a little money?

Thanks for your kind words, Laddo. I think it's my special interests that help keep me sane, but there've been many times when even that coping strategy has failed. I used to talk to my mum a lot, and we were like friends and she'd distract me, but I can't do that any more. Life isn't fair at all. Yes, I know the housing association isn't part of the council. It's just that it all reminds me of the months of dishonest and insulting treatment I got from the council. I'll be taking a few unopened council letters with me and I don't feel able to see them being opened. I even hate having to touch them, almost as if they'll infect me. They promised not to send any more and for months they didn't, but now for some reason they've broken their promise and started again.

I think it's now called PIP, rather than DLA. My advocate has been talking about it.

Welcome, Waterboatman! Life is a circle, for me quite empty and with no focus, my days are completely empty. Why are your days empty? Don't you have any special interests? I have so many that I wish I could give some away! A carer myself up to nearly five years ago, for my mother. Now I need one. I know what that's like. Like you, I was my mother's carer - although she was pretty capable until her death in 2012 at age 93, she still needed with help around the house and garden. Now I find it's me who needs support, for my parents had supported all my life. Nearly fifteen years ago I worked in the computer industry. I last worked for money in 1976. I had to give up due to the stress caused by other people. I've done loads of voluntary work since then. Now being what I am means I have no friends of any description, family do not really want to know, I have some support when they feel like it, and then none when my life really gets bad. But it shouldn't mean that! I have a few friends (a result of voluntary work), but I don't get the practical support I need from them, although I get moral support which is so important. Like you, I sense that the family don't want to know, although I keep in touch with two of my cousins. Its not as bad now? At least I have a reasonably quite place to live, have most of my costs met, and will know soon if they will be completely covered. I live in a quiet place, but have no idea whether I have enough money to live off, so I've become very frugal, to such an extent that I'm at risk from anaemia and have been prescribed folic acid. I was retired, but being what I am, that which I had was easy pickings for the circling vultures, such pleasant people when you have money. Now a bit more than pennies, though not much more. I retired in 1976, and since my parents died I too have become a victim of 'circling vultures' - who latched onto me as 'friends' - especially because I have no understanding of large amounts of money. (To me 'large' is anything more than 20 pounds or so). I know I am not unique, there are only so many throws of the genetic dice. No, you're not alone, and it's reassuring in a sad kind of way, to know that I'm not alone either.

I dread questions like that! ALL aspects of science is the simplest answer.

Hello, Dale! Good advice, Laddo. I also have my quiet spots in the woods and hills, can't do without them. I go for long walks when I can, in all weathers - away from people! I live alone with my three cats so I have a lot of peace and quiet at here. Animals can be far better company than people. As for diet, I can't advise you, for I know I'm not eating well lately but I am trying to improve. I used to do a lot of cooking at one time.

I'd just take honey & lemon, hot drinks, wrap up warm and wait until it had passed. I'd try to change my routine as little as possible apart from being stuck indoors. I don't take any modern cold 'remedies' - just traditional things for easing coughs and sore throats. As for finding children horrid, some certainly can be, but usually I get on better with children and animals than I do with NT adults. They're the ones that terrify me!

Hi Laddo, welcome! I'm passionate about, science, music and much more, but I've never played computer games (except a few on Facebook) and I don't watch TV. I don't often watch films either, but I do like a good film.

Welcome Jimmy! I only realised after my mum died in 2012. I'm 100% convinced that I'm an Aspie, and like you, it explains so much in my life. I saw a specialist a couple of months ago, and I'm having an ADOS test soon.

Thanks Dotmars. I keep missing replies on here. Sorry. I'm afraid I didn't even know what spreadsheets are, although I'd heard of them. That's until I watched "Introduction to Spreadsheets Part 1" on Youtube. I got lost at about 5 minutes and my brain just couldn't take any more in. I've no idea what my incomings and outgoings are. All I know is roughly what I spend on food each week. I can't get my head round any bigger amounts of money. I just have a mental block with figures, and I can never be sure if I've got a calculation right. It all seems so complicated and daunting. Just thinking about a house repair or big bill is enough to send me into flight mode. Yesterday I got a letter from my psychiatrist for an appointment for an ADOS test on 13th November. Can anyone tell me more about these tests? Are they reliable for women with high IQs, but very poor 'executive function'? I'm also meeting someone from a housing association on 5th about the problems with the council - which I'm dreading. If I find my stress levels increasing I can see myself just running out screaming. Due to the way they treated me, anything to do with the council makes me very nervous. One thing I've learnt this morning - I've just discovered that I have Excel on this computer. I typed excel into the search box and it popped up - and I've only been using this thing for two years!

I agree completely, Laddo. This world is very biased towards a certain type of person, I think, with little room for those of us who are "different". True, and that certain type are characterised by hypocrisy, dishonesty, irrationality, selfishness, greed, superficial thinking, social status, power over others, etc. yet these people call themselves 'normal'. NT society suffers from hysteria, paranoia and delusions of many kinds. In individuals these dysfunctional traits would be seen as signs of mental illness, but collectively they're rarely even questioned. The mainstream media is a classic example of this. There's clearly something radically amiss with the usual NT view of this 'normality', which assumes it's right, acceptable, healthy and good (i.e. not a problem). The celebrity world is already full of people like this and every day, people try to emulate those celebrities. A perfect example of a highly dysfunctional society.

This is worrying. I attend my local NAS branch meetings. I'm new to all this and need to read up more. Thanks.

By magic most likely