Mihaela

Gonk Same era, same weirdness. I once saw a table piled up with gonks of all sizes and colours, when driving at night along Watling Street near Wibtoft. Quite surreal. I nearly careered into them and caused another pile-up.

BOUNCY

Good news at last!! Someone from CS is coming to visit me next Thursday!

.... a nice in-between would be good! I feel this could only happen (and easily) when those people she's visiting understand why she behaves differently to most. That's one reason why I support an early diagnosis. Undiagnosed, parents are only too often accused by others (including 'professionals') of fantasising, over-protecting, spoiling, making excuses, etc. They don't believe us, even though we know our children better than anyone else. I have a big list of things we have noticed might be signs of aspergers. Probably too many to list on here I expect!! I know the feeling! These lists can get very long, and the longer they get, the more everything seems to make sense. She does seem to have sensory issues - she has always put her hands over her ears in busy places/when hand dryers are on/when too many things are happening like conversations and tv etc. She never liked pantomimes or similar or the cinema and it seemed to be the noise mostly. She struggles with the noise on the playground and has told her teacher that the class are being too loud and she can't concentrate! Exactly like me as a child, and I'm still the same today. I found school increasing difficult for this reason (along with bullying, arbitrary rules and holding me back intellectually. I also have light sensory issues too). I've yet to meet an aspie without sensory issues, and I feel that the 'intense-world' theory is far more likely to be correct than the 'extreme-male-brain' theory, especially with the seemingly ever-present sensory stuff, and with more and more girls being diagnosed. She is very fussy about food and will actually spit something out on the table (lovely) because she can't wait to get a tissue. She sounds enchanting! She'll grow out of that in time, and choose her own preferences in food. Me and my brother were like this too. I don't see this as a big problem, but it's another possible indicator of AS. She doesn't like food touching - I actually put things in separate bowls! I'm glad you mentioned this, for it's brought back memories of my brother as a child - more evidence that he too had AS, for this was a big obsession with him right into adulthood. He had other food issues too, a lot more than me. she has this strange kissing thing where if we kiss her on her cheek and hug her she freaks out if we don't kiss the other side and cuddle again as he other cheek feels 'wrong and cold'. I've seen this in children and it reminds me of myself again - an obsession with equality and fairness that goes beyond what's rational. I could give many examples of how this affects me - still. It extends to my relationships with animals, flowers and objects. With me, I see it an OC trait, but I'm sure it's due to AS. Does she have any odd little rituals with toys, dolls, teddy bears, etc.? She also has HUGE tantrums like people would expect in a much younger child. So does the little aspie girl I know - and so did I. My parents never understood why, but you do - which is good for her. My meltdowns never fully disappeared; they just became less frequent. I worry that getting a proper diagnosis will cause problems later on - she is very bright and creative and fabulous in her own crazy way.... she does not suit school life but I feel that if she can get through that then she will cope in adult life! I can only speak for myself. My biggest regret in life was not getting an early diagnosis. My life has been very difficult, and often traumatic. I've suffered discrimination and bullying ever since I was about 11 and for decades later. I've suffered repeated and chronic bouts of depression, OCD, tics and C-PTSD, and it's only since I learnt that I had AS that everything has started to get better and make sense. I waited four decades to enjoy my adult life - and all because I was misunderstood by others and misunderstood myself. I missed out in so many ways, only being 'saved' by my high intelligence and interests. I'd go as far as to say that no aspie is truly suited to school life, and much damage has been caused to us by having to endure school (especially from 11 onwards). For years I was involved in the home education movement, and I've seen many, many 'different' children flourish once they'd been taken out of school. If at any time you feel your daughter is suffering at school, it needs to be stopped quickly. The school and her peers must accept her for who she is. So often this doesn't happen. I know a 14yo aspie girl who's currently suffering badly at school due to bullying and teacher indifference, and I worry about her future. (most of her spare time is spent thinking and writing a novel about bullying). It's important to plan ahead, and a diagnosis gives the school a legal responsibility to take into account her AS and make all necessary adjustments. School must allow her to remain "bright and creative and fabulous in her own crazy way", so that it carries on into her adult life. However... I don't know where we stand by not getting a proper diagnosis, yet making the school aware of the difficulties............................ This is how I would prefer to go about things.. It all depends on how accommodating the school would be. It's important to look ahead a few years and you need to be prepared. Life in secondary school tends to be far worse for an aspie child. A diagnosis gives the child official recognition of a condition, not a disability. The school would then have a legal responsibility to take into account her condition and make all necessary adjustments. School must allow her to remain "bright and creative and fabulous in her own crazy way", so that it carries on into her adult life. In the end it's up you to ensure that it does. When I was reading things about aspergers I was a bit freaked that I might have been reading about myself!! However, I rolled through school and out again and was, as you say, probably better off that way. I think more help in school and socially would have helped.... but I have learnt a lot as an adult and I think you have to pick it up pretty quickly to get on ok. Maybe you do have mild AS traits, after all it's hereditary. The very fact that you feel they could have helped more suggests that your roll wasn't always smooth. It is a tricky one as I want people to understand her and I want her to get on ok at school, but I don't want to 'label' her and make anything difficult further down the line. The opposite may equally apply though. A 'label' is what you make of it - no more, no less. Both the 'labelled' and the 'labellers' need to see AS positively, rather than as some kind of stigma. It's simply a difference, and we have many special talents which can be put to good use. I wouldn't want to be any different. I'm proud of being who I am and of my achievements - and I have AS to thank for this. (This is how we all think at the video project that I'm involved in - and it's the only worthwhile way).

Hello, Kay, Welcome back! I've been tracing inherited Asperger's within my family and have identified 7-8 people, all undiagnosed and all on my mother's side. Amongst these are several cousins who I knew well throughout their childhoods - including twins who I'm 100% sure have AS. I'd be very interested to learn more about twins on the spectrum.

Hello sslo, and welcome to the forum. My daughter finds it hard to remember what to say in social situations - she will ignore people when we walk into a friend's house and they say hello. She won't say thank you for coming to visit or thank you for having us. In fact, if people are leaving our house she doesn't even realise she should come to the door to say goodbye. I remember being like this, and I know a 7yo aspie girl who's similar. My parents were always telling me how to be polite. It didn't come naturally for many years. Yes, it does sound like your daughter could have Asperger's. Girls are generally better at learning how to behave socially, but this doesn't come naturally. It's possible that your daughter was trying very hard to please you, so hard that she was putting all her concentration into it, which was making her appear to be not herself. When you got home, she no longer needed to act and could be herself again, but the stress causing by the intense acting had taken its toll, and she had to release it by being a 'total argumentative nightmare'. By the way, I'm typing this as I'm reading your words, and I've just reached this bit: It seems that the whole time she had been focussed on making sure she did all those things...... Which is exactly what I've been saying! I wouldn't worry too much about this, and from this alone it seems very likely that she has AS. The sooner she's diagnosed the better, for it helps others not only to understand her behaviour but also to treat her in the most appropriate ways. I think maybe, when this kind of thing happens next time, you shouldn't over-emphasise politeness. Let her be herself more even though she might make mistakes, and make sure that whoever she's visiting understand why she's 'different'. She needs to learn at a slow gradual pace, so as not to cause her undue stress - and I'm sure she will. What other situations cause her stress? Does she have sensory issues?

I can perfectly understand how PDA traits can co-exist with AS, but a specific diagnosis of PDA (often previously lumped in with PDD-NOS) needs to be recognised in order to provide suitable support and therapy - which is more complex and quite different to the AS approach. I see PDA traits in myself, and I suspect they contribute to my executive dysfunction, but I don't satisfy Newson's diagnostic criteria: Passive early history in the first year, avoiding ordinary demands and missing milestones. (NOT SURE. I was quiet) Continuing to avoid demands, panic attacks if demands are escalated. (YES) Surface sociability, but apparent lack of sense of social identity, pride or shame. (YES generally, but I do have a sense of shame). Lability of mood and impulsive (led by need to control). (NO) Comfortable in role play and pretending. (YES generally) Language delay, seemingly the result of passivity. (SLIGHT) Obsessive behaviour (YES) Neurological signs (awkwardness, similar to autism spectrum disorders) (YES) When comparing my PDA traits with those of my friend, it becomes obvious that I don't qualify. My most accurate diagnostic label would seem to be female-type AS. Unlike AS, PDA affects equal numbers of girls and boys, which suggests that it may have some kind of neurological link with female-type AS. As knowledge of PDA (aka Newson's syndrome) is still in its infancy, I find it quite frustrating as there's a lot more I'd like to learn about it - especially how it affects adults, and also when it's combined with female-type AS.

Sally's reply gives good advice about OCD, but I feel there's more going on here. I've more time to make a fuller reply now, so I'll go through the points you've made. ...as he grew older he started to reject that he had Aspergers, mainly this started from my ex husband who refused to ackowledge that he had Aspergers and would constantly tell my son that I was making it up to use the benefit system (dla and carers). From that point onwards being able to help my son has been almost near impossible. Later denial of an AS diagnosis, or exploitation of a diagnosis, seems to be not all that unusual. Possibly your ex-husband's influence combined with a growing desire to appear 'normal' (especially during adolescence) has made him deny his AS. Suddenly though through his choice I could no longer be there for him at home, and I had to find work. Which I am now working in a very demanding job. This would have only made things worse for him. Do you think that this sudden change was traumatic for him? If so, it could have triggered his recent behaviour. (My cousin's schizophrenia was most likely caused by her having a baby at 16. She wasn't ready for it, and was very young for her age. Her parents ended up looking after the child ). ...but now they are full blown tics, when he leaves the house. He cannot walk out the house he has to do bizarre jerky movements. It can sometimes take him 10 minutes to get out of the gate. I don't know all that much about tics, except that I suffered from very severe tics (sudden head jerking and arm movements) when under extreme stress a few years ago. As soon as the stress disappeared so did the tics. They went on for over a year, and varied in intensity over that time, mainly happening when been spoken to or eating at the table. He will walk out of a bathroom backwards, he has never done this before. He turns the shower on, off, on off.....he has to open and shut doors 20 times at least. This sounds like OCD behaviour. I suffered from this too, over the same period as the tics. I still have OC traits, and have done since childhood (mainly of the magical-thinking and collecting types), but they're no longer at OCD levels He is aware he is doing all this, and if you accidently catch him, he tries to cover up what he is doing. I was aware of it too, but rarely made any attempt to cover it up. It would have impossible anyway. It would happen anywhere at all, often in public, in cafe's, shops, etc. My mother had to look after me and take me everywhere. But now we can no longer ignore what is happening, he has started to talk to himself in the bedroom. Not just talk to himself, swear at himself, (please excuse my swearing here) He shouts at himself, saying "No, No...I am not having it you ###### prick, I will ###### do you. Then you hear what you can only describe as him fighting with himself on the bed. He has never been one to swear, sometimes these episodes can last near on an hour. This is what made me wonder if he was developing schizophrenia. Is he talking to himself or to 'someone' whose voice he's hearing in his head? Whatever it is, it surely has no connection with OCD or with AS. He has also started to pee in bottles, he has always been wet at night, nomatter, we have gone through all the usual routes to rectify this, but to no avail, but he always went to the toilet. He refuses to let me in his room, to the point where he physically will keep the door shut. We had instance of the peeing in bottles 6 months ago, it was right after my mother in law had been in hospital, when I found the bottle in his room and approached him on it, he gave the reason that he had done it because he did not want to catch germs from the hospital, it made no sense to me and I told him that it was not an appropiate behaviour and he seemed to stop. Now he has started it back, but this time he is actually removing my cups from downstairs and peeing in them as well. This sounds as if it could be OCD-related, yet the 'not catching germs from the hospital' could either be a form of OCD magical-thinking or some kind of delusion. OCD traits often have a kind of reasoning behind them. They're either extreme, compulsive reactions to taking quite reasonable precautions, or derived from irrational magical or religious/superstitious thinking. I can't see any link between peeing in bottles and hospital germs. Does he? If he knows it's irrational then it's OCD. He refuses to clean his room, he hides the smells by buying shake and vac pours it everywhere and then will not clean it up....It is thick with shake and vac in his room, if I go into his room to sort it out when he is not in, he becomes very violent and angry when he comes in. Doesn't he realise he's making a mess and causing fire hazard by doing this - and that it should be vacuumed up? If he does, but just can't help doing it, I'd say it was OCD. He says its because he can't cope with change, I cannot cope with his meltdowns like I could when he was smaller he is 6"2 now and has the strength to go with it. What change does he mean? It seems as if he's created the change himself. Has he always shown violence during meltdowns, or is it just because he's bigger now that makes it harder for you to cope? He is pararoid all the time, and thinks the whole world is out to get him. When people have done nothing to him, at first I thought he may be developing tourettes, but now I think it could be scitzophrena, I am no doctor but all the symptons are there. It's quite possible. I'm sure the paranoia isn't related to his AS. He refuses to accept that he needs help. Gets very angry, my daughter is 20 is concerned that he will hurt her. This is also quite typical of schizophrenia. My cousin is one of 13, and all the others were frightened of her, and were even scared of passing her room. Other family members are now noticing those that did not believe he had aspergers are now noticing his odd behaviours. The fact that the odd behaviours are recent suggests that they're not caused by his Asperger's. Of course, aspies do change over the years, but as far as I know we don't change dramatically or suddenly unless other conditions cause it. If anything, we change far less than neurotypical people. We don't like change; either in ourselves or around us. How can I get somebody help that refuses to believe he needs help? Very difficult. We had the same problem in our family when my cousin developed schizophrenia. It was allowed to get to a crisis stage before the mental health services would act - which wasn't right. He would not attend doctor's, at the first sign of anybody approaching him to talk to him about seeking help. His rage goes off the scale. My cousin was just the same. It was impossible to reason with her. First of all, you really must see a professional about this.

The standard advice for these things is to meet in a public space—we nailed that one—and bring a friend. So anyone who has hesitations about their safety for whatever reason could have someone they know come with them. Minimum number of people is a nice idea but would be a shame if we didn’t meet minimum and then had to cancel. Personally I’m confident enough to meet one person on my own. In the end anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable won’t attend no matter what we do. Yes, that makes perfect sense. I'm also confident enough to meet one on my own too - as I did, when I walked back with an Aspie who attended an autism meeting last May. She'd barely said a word at that meeting and had never met me before. Little did I know at the time that she'd soon become my closest friend! One thing we could do is post photos of ourselves on here. Good idea. I'll do that if a few others would be happy about doing the same. - I'd be embarrassed if was the only one to do it! Another thought: some kind of structure to the meetup might also help people feel more comfortable... I was thinking it might be nice to have a whole bunch of silly questions like What is the strangest item of clothing you own? If you were a pizza what kind of pizza would you be? And people could answer as many or few of these questions in advance on paper and then read out as many or few as they like. If people prefer to say nothing that would be fine too. Maybe people could bring things that they like or made and could talk about them. Perhaps we could do some simple games. Excellent ideas! ...and this is so true: Unstructured getting-to-know-you situations can be particularly difficult for aspies. Part of ASD? A lot of us don’t feel much sense of community and so don’t value it. Yet, it's a myth that most aspies don't want friends. Some may not, but I enjoy being with my aspie friends far more than with NTs. That doesn't mean that I don't also enjoy all my time alone with my special interests, etc. I feel I need a balance of the two. I think if we had any rules one of the rules should be to be nice about anyone who breaks them cause, you know, they probably don’t mean to and just screwed up. Yes! When we break rules we usually can't help it; when NT's break rules either they usually can or they do it out of genuine ignorance. Another thought maybe this is actually something you can’t organize in a general way... maybe this is perfectly possible but just requires a bit more effort and commitment than it would do for NTs. I think that getting to know each online first would be a big help. It would give us a better idea of what to expect in real life. Now, to Laddo's points: I'm wondering if there's a way to make this thread hidden to non-members, too? That could certainly help filter any unwanted people turning up to the meet ups. I certainly wouldn't want unexpected strangers turning up. They could potentially ruin a meeting. We could post photos of ourselves, yes, but as you say some people may feel uncomfortable doing this. I personally wouldn't be against it, though. Maybe we could create a private Facebook group or something similar for the meetups? Most forums have options for private sections. It's easy to set up, so it shouldn't be a problem. I did this myself on a couple a couple of forums. I definitely agree that structure to meet ups is essential. I think the best way forward with this is for attendees to all make suggestions for what we do and the best dates for them and we can vote for our favourites. What does everything think about this? I agree in theory, but where we're thin on the ground, it might be less practical. I don't think that simply because not enough of us in any particular area are able to meet together, that this should prevent two or three people meeting, as long as common-sense safety precautions are taken. Ground rules are another essential, I think. We don't want a lot of disagreements breaking out during the meet ups, after all. Yes, and of course not. Rules should be kept simple.

Does anyone here have a diagnosis of PDA or know somebody who has one, or suspects that they have it? I have a friend who was diagnosed with AS. Those close to her feel that the diagnosis doesn't quite fit, and that her therapy was of a type applicable to AS. I now pretty sure that she has PDA, along with some AS traits (quite typical) which helps me understand her a lot better than I did. I'm particularly looking for anything about adults with PDA, and find that nearly everything I read relates to children.

So sorry to hear this, Dixie. As I read more of your post I began thinking of schizophrenia, and then you mentioned it too. To me, it does sound as if your son is having psychotic episodes. I have a cousin with schizophrenia, who is almost certainly an undiagnosed aspie too, and I was closely involved in her life at the crisis time when she was 16-19. I saw all the distressing signs, and was her only visitor to the hospital where she stayed for a few months. She was a very quiet, reserved child, but her personality changed dramatically at 16-17. Like your son she lived in her room, and never used foul language until then, but unlike him, she used it in front of her parents, became violent, smashed shop windows, attacked police, etc. The good news is that for 13 years she's been happily living with a partner (who also has mental heath problems), accepts her illness and always takes her medication (crucial). She's never shown signs of her illness in all that time, and these have been the happiest years of her life. I've also witnessed manic episodes in two women with severe bipolar disorder, and found them quite frightening - so I know exactly what you're going through. I knew these women very well, but no longer see them. They both deny that they are ill, and frequently stop taking their meds, which results in them being repeatedly sectioned. (I've spoken to many others who suffer from psychoses, so by now I feel I've learnt quite a lot about this). It's so important that you see a psychiatrist to discuss your son. He's developing these symptoms at the typical age of onset for schizophrenia. I'm not saying he has it, but if he has, the sooner he's diagnosed are receives treatment the better it will be for all of you.

I've studied trends in British and American child protection policies at some depth, as well as children and autistic people within the criminal justice system, and I don't like what I see. This country tends to follow the US model in many areas, although thankfully it's less extreme and less pathologically punitive. However, the English-speaking world still has a long way to go until it reaches the more enlightened and humane European standards. Europeans look in horror at the British mentality - where 'child protection' has become a lucrative 'industry' that only too often does more harm than good. I'd go along with your words, Laddo: As much as I dislike the police, I think they are doing the right thing in this case given the resources they currently have. ... except that I'd say "I think that they may be doing the right thing..." However, "doing the 'right' thing" when constrained by finite resources, may be very different to 'doing the right thing' in a moral sense. It may in fact be morally wrong - and damaging.

I've just read it, WB. I'm getting a feeling of Déjà vu - no idea why...

What a shame that it ends up with arguments. I'm guessing these are due the difference between NT and AS thinking styles. Maybe if you know or can identify the triggers, these arguments could be avoided. I've done this with a friend on the spectrum. We had what I can only call disagreements, rather than arguments, for I sensed that she knew she wasn't being reasonable, but couldn't help being so. She was diagnosed with AS, but I now believe this to be incorrect for she has the classic traits of PDA - a common error for PDA has only recently been widely recognised. Handling PDA is very different to handling AS and not as easy. It's also common to have a mixture of AS and PDA traits, and I can see episodes in my own life that point to a slight PDA tendency. Our reactions to demands made by others can vary enormously, but avoiding people by staying alone is one of them. I can remember several family events (often around Christmas) where I was pretty unsocial - even with my parents. I kept out the way looking at my presents. There was a period of a few years when I was afraid of arguments. Terrified of them, and usually we'd all end of crying. I now know that they were due to my parents not being able to understand how I saw the world (they never knew I had AS, but knew I was 'different' and 'fragile'). Sometimes I'd feel it was my fault for creating a tense/unhappy Christmas - but now I know that it wasn't; I couldn't help it. This is how I see my friend. She can't help it, so I make big allowances for her. As for last Christmas, I spent it alone, saw nobody, had no visitors, but was perfectly content. (If I'd have gone to my cousin's I'd have been stressed after the first hour and feeling eager to get back home - yet would be 'trapped' there for another seven hours!). I never thought that I'd be happy spending Christmas or New Year alone, and it came as a pleasant surprise and I suspect it was due to my AS. For me Christmas is a time of memories of happier times with my family - especially childhood Christmasses. If I'd chosen to, I'd have broken down crying many times (instead of only a couple - caused by certain music), but I kept myself very busy cooking, baking, arranging decorations and playing with the cats. Everything had to be the same as always in every little detail (probably due to my 'protective' OCD). Have you thought of getting another dog to keep Nick company? I couldn't manage without animals around me.

I've had a great day today. I went for a long walk with my aspie friend. We set off early and everywhere was frosty, but after a while the sun came out brightly making the frost glitter in rainbow colours. We talked to the sheep and walked through the 'Dark Wood' (and it is dark!) up onto the moors for miles, and ended up in Sunny Vale where there are lots of streams and waterfalls. In the woods we found a rope swing on a tree and had a few wild swings. Further on we found a strange ruined old building with a long arched tunnel leading out onto the hillside which we walked down (bent). By then the sun had melted the ice and the paths had become muddier and muddier. We had to climb over umpteen walls, and cross many streams using little bridges or stones. I felt I was doing very well keeping up with my friend (she's half my age and makes fun of me lagging behind! - which I only do to look at things - not because I'm slow). Anyway, we were both seeing who'd slip first, and right near the end I went skidding in some mud and fell! Ugh! It was great fun though, and we took loads of photos.

I'd be happy to meet you KK, although I'm much older than you. All my friends are younger than me, quite a few around your age, a couple are aspies and the others work with me as volunteers. I seem to get on well with aspies of any age, but not so well with NT adults. I split my time between W Yorks & Lancs, so could meet anyone in this part of the world. Any meet-ups, whatever our age should be in safe public places, and parents/friends should be told in advance.

He was a bully and we could not talk to him or get advice from HiIm it was like living with a stranger or headmaster. It also hurt him that his own children were too scared to talk to him and that made him bully and beat us more, always cuss us in front if people, or believe other side first if we were in trouble or in a dispute , to get back at us. We could not speak or make noise if he was around. ThaT alone causes low self esteem What a horrifically vicious circle. Any child would do well to escape undamaged from that. He seems to have behaved like a typical authoritarian Victorian father - pathologically obsessed with control and his own imagined superiority. How did he manage at work? Was he a military type? Plus I always thought he was a bully to tough us up because he saw me and my two brothers as wimps the opposite of him. My older brother has learning difficulues and autistic and needs to be looked after That didn't work or help either growing up knowing we were not like him. I have three sisters who were more respected among their peers when growing up and perhaps were not impressed by us! He was the real wimp, using his bullying to mask his inadequacy. 'Toughening up' - a notion almost exclusively applied to boys - is very much a throwback to Victorian male-dominated values. You and your brothers have clearly inherited the autism, and no amount of 'toughening up' would be able to 'cure' it. In the past I suspect many children with autism (especially AS) were treated as wimps. Those forced to fight in war ended up either severely damaged or being shot as 'cowards' or deserters. It makes me so angry! I hope you get on with your sisters now. My mother did not have any mental issues untill a few months before she died of cancer when i was 18. The cancer had spread to her brain and she was acting the total opposite. How sad - a horrible illness. I had an online friend who had a brain tumour. His personality changed in a similar way - from a gentle, thoughtful person to aggressive and impulsive. (This and head trauma are causes of late-onset personality disorders). He'd tried everything to stop the tumour, and the last I heard from him was that he'd ordered snake venom. He probably died soon after that message. She was a very quiet private person and i never remembered her raising her voice to my father till then, no doubt responding to his bullying ways. The poor woman was probably too scared of his domineering ways. Is it possible she was an aspie? After her death the family left home but i stayed with my father, he nearly went off the rails, remarried a woman from overseas which went wrong, I tried to build some kind of father son relationship and no doubt prevented him from going off the rails. I admire you for helping him, despite the way he'd treated you as a child. Many would have abandoned him. It was not always nice being an identical twin. Being constantly compared with each other had its pitfalls. Also it led to self esteem issues. I have twin cousins who have all the classic aspie signs. If one twin is on the autistic spectrum, it's very likely that the other one is too. Some people who did not know I had a twin would see my brother and he did not know them would think he was rude and blankedThe next time they saw me they would not speak to me. Or if they saw my brother acting silly they would think it was me and would not want to associate with me. The same thing happended to my brother. This made me more withdrawn and paronoid. This never happened with my cousins for they were never apart. They still do everything together and share the same house. My twin brother got involved in a religious cult, David Koresh's Branch Davidians. I tried talking him out of it but he was brainwashed. N No doubt, People with low self esteem issues often get drawn into religious cults because they dont believe in themselves. He was unfortunately one of the 70 Britons who lost their lives at Waco in 1993. So sorry to hear that. Yes, you're right about the attraction of cults to people of low self-esteem. I feel that all organised religion causes more harm than good, e.g. wars. We can be highly principled without the need for religion. Religion attracts all kinds of vulnerable people, and I can see how easily it can draw us in. I'm sure many aspies join cults and religions simply because they desperately want a social life. With me, the total lack of logic common to all religions, their inflexible rules and dogmas, the idea of worshipping a man in the sky, etc. puts me right off. I question 'too much'. Yet, none of this means that I don't have a 'spiritual' side - I do.

Hello Jeanne. I agree with all the good advice given so far. It must very difficult for you having to cope with the thought that they are doing nothing at all to stimulate Glen's mind or enhance his life. It sounds so very wrong in every way. They did more for people in the old asylums than they're doing for him. I feel they're using his damaging meltdown as an excuse to do nothing but contain him to ensure a similar meltdown has no chance of occuring. There must have been a reason for that meltdown, and I doubt that they've even looked for it, let alone addressed it. Maybe they know the cause, but prefer to keep quiet. Maybe it was caused by a particular member of staff. Lack of stimulation at this level and for any period will certainly make him chronically depressed, and the symptoms should be very obvious to the staff. Just because he wants to stay in his room doesn't mean that it's in his best interests, and it's likely that it's depression itself that causing him to want this. Their inaction will without doubt damage his mental health. How long will this go on?

Welcome, Templek! Go out wanting to be centre of attention is all part of it I wouldn't see this as typical aspie behaviour, but I do know a couple of aspies like this. I thought i was manic depressive with low self esteem issues and underwent counselling, that was a few years ago and stopped it. AS is quite often misdiagnosed as manic depression. Low self-esteem is typically AS. I had an identical twin brother, who sadly passed away in 1993. We both acted similar I have an older brother who is Autistic and has learning difficulties. These facts alone strongly suggest you're an aspie. Could either of your parents have AS? My sister is a psychologist/counsellor and said autism could be a family trait but its not a mental illness but behaviour condition. No, it's not a mental illness (although it may be accompanied by mental illness), but nor is it simply a behaviour condition (which would include OCD, phobias, personality disorders, etc.) but a pervasive developmental condition that affects behaviour in many ways. Being pervasive it's hard-wired, it can't be changed - or least it can only be changed in small ways, and we can learn to live with it better.. She advised me to speak to my GP and asked to get referred to a specialist for diagnosis. I am going through this at present, but it was delayed because i have moved and my previous GP say i am too far and have to re register with a local GP. That's a nuisance. I'd recommend the same. You need to be referred to a specialist on autism spectrum conditions, and don't let your new GP fob you off. There seems to be a reluctance to refer adults for diagnosis due to NHS cost-cutting, I have decided to dress a bit more loud and flamboyant in formal dress top hat tails, cane, gloves etc when i go out. Oh, just a bit more. That's a relief. You'll certainly get noticed! What i have found people especially women come up to me and asked to be photographed with me! I bet! You should post a photo of yourself in your full costume. People tend to be happy and jolly to me now and i have noticed this. Brilliant! This is one way for Aspies to cope with the NT world. Many clowns are/were probably aspies. Most eccentrics are too. Well if you all have not fallen asleep by now this is my introduction. I don't think anyone would fall asleep with you around!

Happy New Year, Princezz and welcome! I like a lot of music, ...but hardly any of the new stuff being played all over the place today. I hardly watch TV... Me too - to both! Another thing I'm known for doing is changing my hair colour. I went from blue to dark pink to purple to blue to purple again to dark red (Though it looked more natural than I wanted it to), to blonde and to blue again. Then to green. I'm going to try and dye it purple soon. Intriguing. KalamityKat, where are you? Are you a salonophobe like her? I like to write as well, but I keep changing my ideas, or restarting, or thinking of good ideas that take place aaaages from the start. It'll be a while before I write something I'm happy with. I know the feeling well I may seem boring, but I can be more interesting than you think. I've yet to meet a boring aspie, so, no, you're not, and you won't be.

Maria Grosu singing Vino cu mine (Come with me):

Powerful words. I only found contentment when I stopped seeking it. It's the effort that causes the anguish.

I've had both dogs and cats - as well many others types of animals. I like the grace, independence, playfulness, idiosyncrasies, complexity and cleanliness of cats. I like to be 'owned' rather than to own. A loyal cat says a lot more about the animal-human relationship than a loyal dog would - for cats are not pack animals and to gain their trust and acceptance should be seen as an honour. All my cats are loyal and loving - as all domestic cats would be with suitable human companions. (I've studied the psychology and history of cats, as well as that of human-animal relationships. Very interesting and illuminating stuff). btw Cats are autistic dogs! This article's well worth reading: http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/cats-dogs-and-aspergers-syndrome/

Fishmongers' slab It doesn't surprise me that the French are so reluctant to adopt loanwords - France is becoming quite right wing. Ever since Revolutionary times France has been like this, due largely to the enormous influence of the Académie française on the language. The post-war influence of Americanisms, exacerbated by the rise of the internet, is seen as a threat to the purity of the French language by very many, both on the left and the right..

Eustace, that's exactly how noise affects me, and this is one reason why I dislike towns and modern life so much. Luckily, I live in a quiet place so I don't get troubled by noise at home. If anything, my sensitivity to noise has increased over the years, maybe due to improving in other ways (I don't know if this kind of compensatory aspect actually applies though). Even when at home, sudden noises caused by dropping cutlery or keys are enough to make my stress levels shoot up for a few seconds. As long I'm in control of noise it doesn't bother me, e.g. I sometimes happily play loud music. It's torture to hear others frenetically washing up, the needlessly loud clattering of dishes. When I do it myself I try to take care not to cause any unexpected noise - which may be less efficient but at least it's not stressful. I've always hated vaccuum cleaners, electric lawn-mowers, power tools etc. especially when being used by somebody else. Even when I use them myself, the noise intensely irritates, and I can 'comfortably' use them only for short periods. At least I have control over the 'off' switch. Wailing sirens, motorbikes and jet aircraft (an RAF station near my other place) have a nasty habit of suddenly appearing from nowhere at speed. Aaargh! During the Christmas period I have to endure the endless seasonal kitch of 'cheery' muzak, shoddy plastic 'Santas', gaudy flashing lights, etc. - and bigger-than-usual crowds of noisy people. Needless to say, my excursions into these temples of consumerism are necessarily very brief and involve much fast and determined walking. I know exactly what I need, where I'm going, which aisle to head for, and I endure the ordeal for as short a time as possible. Any kind of hold up, relocating of articles, additional noise, crowding, technical glitch at the till, etc. is enough to send me into panic mode, and I abandon my shopping (anywhere) and leave by the shortest route, having bought nothing. All this is much easier when I have somebody with me. I don't know why. Maybe it's the distraction of being able to talk to them.