Laddo

Erm thanks for the reply, but I was really asking for help with managing ADHD, like coping strategies, ways to stay focused etc. I don't really want to be thinking about dying from medications just yet

Do you have to pay for support from your local groups Mihaela? A friend who lives in Birmingham said she does not have to pay for support from Autism West Midlands. I'm wondering if it's just around London and the south east that you have to pay. It seems as if you can only get help for something as long as rich, usually white and male people in positions of power decide you're worth helping. Everyone needs help and support, yet these days it seems like it is only really possible to get support if you are deemed 'vulnerable'. I think so-called 'high-functioning' aspies don't qualify as 'vulnerable' because, well, we're 'high-functioning' - according to people who don't even have an ASD, we can function fine in society

I'm in a similar situation to yours Akunin. The only thing I can suggest is to get yourself on the social housing list and hope that your local housing authority is understanding of your condition. It is unfortunately notoriously difficult for people to get the homes they need from the housing associations, especially those of use with ASDs. But definitely worth a try at least. I would do it myself but I'm illegible for support as I owe council tax. Is the situation at the family home stable enough for you to stay there at least until you find somewhere else?

This is very interesting as I was about to attempt to get some support from the NAS. I emailed them with some queries about local services and costs and simply got a reply saying yes there is a cost and with some useless leaflets that didn't tell me anything that wasn't on their website. I did find it a bit strange that not only does using their services cost money (kind of defeats the point of a charity), they do not list their prices for support anywhere on their website. All the local ASD support groups in my area have fees which leaves me with pretty much nil support in a time when I'm getting very desperate. Fantastic news. EDIT: Just seen this on the NAS website. How does that £10 a month help someone attend one of their Adult Social Groups if it costs the person money to attend?

I don't think you need to re-home your dogs Alex, it sounds like they're an important part in your life. I am not all that bound by routines so I can't be of much help with that but maybe you could rest as much as possible but still follow your routines? I know walking for 3 hours a day must be awful when you're feeling so ill but you also don't want to upset yourself by breaking that routine as unfortunately that may keep you ill for longer. Do cold and flu medicines like Beechams work well for you? Maybe you could take some half an hour before you take your dogs for a walk - hopefully it will make you feel well enough to have your walk and when you get home you can rest. I hope you feel better soon

I'm sorry Waterboatman, my original post may have come across as quite callous. I didn't mean it to seem that way. I can relate to you in that I'm better at doing things for other people than myself. For me, I come last

At the moment, mostly all I want is someone who understands me who I can share experiences with and have cuddles with etc. I also want a best friend and soulmate far more than sex etc. and I genuinely believe that I can only be best friends with a woman. Friendships with men are fine, but there is too much competitiveness that I can never win with. I also fall in love far too easily and like Mihaela get exploited as a result. I don't believe any of the women apart from the most recent that I fell in love with and had relationships with meant to exploit me though - they just had low self-esteem and saw me too much as a 'rock', something which I couldn't uphold for too long. it's a shame, because deep down, I want to be a rock for someone. I love helping people too much. The traits that Mihaela described sound very similar to my most recent ex. Collectingrocks, I am so glad to hear you have found your soulmate. With regard to whether I have any interests worth sharing, that is down to the individual women that may or may not fall in love with me to decide. My main interests are displayed on my profile, but I am having difficulty finding someone who shares the same interests and is actually interested in me as a result of that. I genuinely would be willing to give up sex to be happy with a woman who is my best friend, my soulmate and who understands me. The problem is, no one is willing to believe that

I'm always up for making new friends so if you want to talk to someone, please do feel free to send me a message. People say I'm a good listener and I see you're interested in art and writing so we can always discuss them Hopefully the CAB will be able to get in touch with the council and stop them sending you letters. They can often act as a 'middleman' in cases like yours and are always good to lend a sympathetic ear. Hoping you're well and you get the help you deserve soon

I, like many aspies, am quite lonely and really keen to meet someone to love. I have tried a couple of Aspergers/ASD dating sites but you have to pay unfortunately. I'm scared that if I go to one of the mainstream sites, I will be rejected by all the NT women on there for being different. To be honest, I want a woman with Aspergers who understands me over an NT woman. I have been in four relationships in the past - one with an aspie woman I met on another forum, another one through the same forum, another through an online friend and my latest ex I met at work. All of these women approached me first. The first two were confirmed aspies, the third had never been diagnosed or assessed but I am sure she's aspie and the fourth had some aspie traits but was mostly a psychopath and very abusive. Considering I met the first three online I think online dating is the best way to go. None of the relationships ended well but I would like to think I have learnt from my mistakes. Has anyone got any success stories from online dating? Any happy aspie couples out there and do you have any tips?

Hi and welcome to the forum. Do you mind telling us why you need a carer now? I read your profile and from what you said you seem to be having very negative thoughts just because you're waiting to be diagnosed as Aspergers? Or is there something else?

It's just a distortion of visual perception. The eyes are painted in a fixed position on the canvas. Artificial lighting and shading is added to the painting, giving it "depth". But as the painting is essentially two-dimensional, the depth and lighting do not change depending on the angle you're looking at the painting and thus, it looks like the eyes are always watching you

Hi Dale! Welcome to the forum One piece of advice that I think is crucial for every aspie to know is to have a place you feel totally relaxed in, whether it's a room, a field or a little spot in the woods. I have only just found that out for myself (I'm 23 and was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD when I was about 7) and I've gotta say it has helped me a lot. I hope your diagnosis goes nice and smoothly and you can get some useful advice

I have ADHD and struggle quite a bit with it. I'm really getting tired of constantly losing things, forgetting appointments, being late etc. but am weary about going to my GP as I'm worried they will just prescribe me with some stimulant medication. I would really rather avoid this as I used to be addicted to some of the more evil variety of stimulants and my heart has not felt the same since. I want that big old chunk of muscle to keep beating for a good many years so would rather avoid anything that is going to put pressure on it. Soooo what I'm asking is, does anyone have any tips for managing ADHD without chemical assistance?

Yes, it is certainly possible to block Google searches. Is there any way to directly notify the moderators/admins? The moderator email address seems to be broken...

I can't remember reading about the place you mentioned but it sounds very interesting! I have been to a house that is supposed full of ghosts, including two young girls, but never experienced any paranormal activity. I often wonder about places that are supposedly haunted - I'm curious as to whether most "ghost sightings" are actually just paranoia or if there really is some kind of "footprint" left by people when they die. I'm sort of on the fence about the whole thing. I would definitely like to check out some more supposedly haunted places though!

Just wanted to let off a bit of steam by posting this poem (if it can be called a poem). There's no real rhyming scheme and it's more of a waffle than a poem, but constructive criticism is welcome.

Yes! I have never actually made it into an abandoned building, but I have wanted to explore one for years. I tried to get into an abandoned psychiatric hospital near where I live about a year about but it was too securely sealed off. If anyone knows of any recommended cool abandoned places near London/Kent, please do share! I can relate to what you're saying about them being "safe", too. I love being totally alone in big empty places where no one can see me. I enjoy walking in the rain too for the same reason. I love any sort of walks, just don't like having to encounter too many people!

Hi Jimmy welcome to the forum. I'm glad to hear you're going to see a specialist - I hope this goes smoothly for you. Good luck mate!

Hi Mihaela. I'm really sorry to hear you have been through all this. I think you are such an amazing person for doing so well so far - I think a lot of people would have completely broken down if they were in your shoes. Stay strong! I'm glad you are getting some help with the CAB. I have found them to be very useful in the past. It's great to hear you have an appointment for an ADOS test too. Hopefully the test will be conducted in a way that isn't too stressful for you. Regarding the meeting with the person from the housing association, you should know that housing associations are separate from local councils, so you shouldn't face the same treatment you did from the council. I know I don't know you, but your story has really touched my heart and I will be thinking of you. I just wish I could do something more to help you. Also don't forget that when you go to your meetings you will have all of us on this forum thinking of you and wishing you well I hope everything goes well and you find the answers you're looking for. I wish you the very best of luck!

So sorry to hear you're going through this dekaspace. You show inner strength by not choosing to go down the whole drink and drugs path which is great! I'm not expert in medication and relaxants, but have you considered non-medicated relaxants? Sea-lettuce, turkey and nuts have all been linked to relaxation. Soft, ambient music can also help, as well as a nice warm (but not too hot) bath if you have one. Bereavement counselling, as dotmarsdotcom said, may also be good for you as it sounds like you are experiencing a lot of the physical effects of depression. It may help to clear those racing thoughts a little and put your mind at ease to give you the rest you deserve. I really hope you can find something that helps you

Hi Mihaela, thanks for the warm welcome what areas of science are you interested in?

Sally44, that video is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. It raises some very interesting points, such as that while the behaviours of an autistic individual may make no sense to an NT observer, most NT behaviour makes no sense to autistic people! Gossiping about last night's TOWIE? See, that makes no sense to me whatsoever. This world is very biased towards a certain type of person, I think, with little room for those of us who are "different". The video you linked should be shown to every single pupil in every single school in the country to highlight the fact that we should not all strive to be the same, rather that we should accept and respect each other's differences. Back to the original topic, I totally agree with the previous posters that rules are essential for any kid, whether they be neurotypical, Aspergers or anything else. Children are by nature quite selfish and if they are allowed to do whatever they want with no rules, chances are they will grow up to be selfish, uncaring narcissists. The celebrity world is already full of people like this and every day, people try to emulate those celebrities. You don't want that happening to your son. He will be a much more well-rounded man when he grows up if he has rules to follow

Hi Dr Nick! Ahem... yeah... So I'm Laddo, I'm aspie, live in south east England and have obviously only just joined this forum! Hi. I'm passionate about art and also interested in films, music, TV, computer games and science. I'm keen to make some new friends during my stay so if you wanna chat please feel free to send me a message. Other than that, don't really know what else to say so... hello!