jack schitt

I find things like this a real wind up / anxiety provoking. Questions like #5, #20 just seem n/a. Not everyone is socially hooked into life and so many questions can't be answered with any confidence. I am quite pedantic when presented with stuff like this and find it impossible to confidently interpret some questions let alone answer. This being so, the fact that the results indicate some sort of judgement about me is disturbing. Big thumbs down from me ... but it it helps some, all well and good.

Sounds brilliant ....fingers crossed!

Fascinates me how composers achieve the build up of tension and then release / peaks and troughs to take us on a journey. Something to study in the future ... Is there some formula for the tension and release or just intuitive? Fascinates me how directors/producers/composers get that situation to bring tears / intense emotion from the viewer. How do they learn that? I prefer old movies ... the content is more wholesome, dialogue more intelligent and of course the nostagia. I also like black and white as it allows imagination to work in the same way radio plays/ drama does. Makes for a more immersive /involving experience ... foreign films with subtitles have the same effect. I used to love watching black and white TV with the sound off, while practicing scales etc. on guitar. I'd get a really good understanding of the programme that way, though not sure how it realted to the script. My abilities to smell have been damaged by age and years of smoking ... though thankfully its been almost 4 yrs since I gave up cigarettes. As I always say, 'you only get good at what you do'. Sniff alot and abilities improve, unfortunately there are a lot of smells I don't want to sniff. I always love the smell of forests and wood in general. Interesting how I remember the humidity levels within with the smell and how each remembered image has a smell. Remembered sixpences have smell, different from thrupenny bits, remembered carpets, cutlery, paper, books houses .... better stop there! Don't get too down though dekaspace. Being realistically positive is pretty important. Sometimes I check myself by asking if what I'm doing at any given moment is making me happy. Thats my goal for this year ... to be as realistically optimistic and happy as possible. After what I've been through I think its well deserved and appropriate to redress my ying and yang. You've said some things that you are not doing much of now .... bearing in mind that we only get good at what we do... what are you doing more of now you are not doing the games etc.

I'm sorry you went through something similar Brooke. As you know, its not the sort of thing anyone should ever go through. They deliberately contravened many aspects of civil and employment law. I know because I spent almost every waking minute dealing with this for over a year. It was a deliberate tactic from them. They knew they would make settlement inevitable. Its how they deal. Its what the HR dept and the higher management group specialise in. Its a brutal deliberate tactic, but works for them. There response (from more than one source) to my allegations of senior gross misconducts against me was 'its for you to prove it'. I repeatedly did with great accuracy and evidence but it was always ignored and deliberately not acknowledged. It was literally treated as invisible. Very frustrating Once I started a grievance with enough evidence to hang them they offered lowball settlement as a 1st response. They never did deal with the grievance, their tactics (all evidenced) were disgusting, a judge would have hung them out to dry. Rather than take the low amount of money (which I did not want) I was fixated on them following their policies which they refused to do. They had already damaged me by then. 3 months later I had to take the settlement or kill myself as I was so damaged by their routine underhand tactics. Not much of a choice. (The £200+ per hr solicitor advised me to burn all my evidence after signing! I had a 3" thick file of evidence and she never even opened the file - and no I did not burn it) Before signing they even put a militaristic private detective agency on me (owned by a charity director) After signing another 5 months getting it through to them that I would not accept the numerous gagging clauses nor recognise the threats within that document (which I will never accept and never see as legal or binding). - Actus me invito factus - So much bizarre unbelievabe stuff happened from them it will never all come out. I'll never have anything good to say of them as their behaviours were at best simply evil. I was way to trusting and in retrospect naive. Anyway, yes a blessing in disguise...I learned so much. Most importantly not to waste time with people who don't respect you. Through necessity I'm going for optimism. Who knows ...the best times of my life may be ahead ... infact they are damn it!

It must be terribly destructive at his age being the focus of such attention due to his differences as he won't have the hindsight / life experience to put things in perspective. The stress will make him shut down for protection. Have you looked into home education + via internet? Either way all you can do is support him to be happy as a person. Best to be complete and secure as a loved individual. Formal education can come anytime. Focus on supporting his self esteem and tell him how proud you are. Opportunities are always around in many formats. If education isn't working for him now it may in the future as Gareth shows. I stopped school a year before I should have due to terrible times...I'm 53 now, and though I don't have a string of qualifications I feel proud of what I have achieved. We spend our lives studying, it doesn't end at 16. Good luck. Regarding advice on how to treat him, he may be able to add something there, but always be very clear and consise so he does'nt need to guess or fill in the gaps ..

Don't know if this will help or not but I discovered some work arounds some years ago for body odour. Iv'e never been able to tolerate perfumes or deodrants. My son used smellies like lynx etc. (which actually smell like BO to me) and there is nothing worse than the combination of body odour and perfumes. The perfume does't mask just blends with it. (I used to encourage him to use diluted savlon which is not available anymore). Anyway, make up a litre of isopropyl alcohol 70% with 30% water. Once cut this way it is whats known as rubbing alcohol. You can buy it on ebay neat or mixed. Fill a cheap sprayer (from hair section in shops) and use for smelly areas inbetween washing. It really does deodorise ( kills bacteria). Great for armpits etc. Not wise to over use or use on cuts as it will sting broken skin.... but spray on area...rub on / leave for 30 seconds (to kill bacteria) then dry off with tissue. Its quick and works for extended periods (days+). Its also great for kitchen taps, worktops and windows. Also a good additive to car window washer (alcohol stops washer bottle freezing too) Most of these hand gels contain it. Been using this mix for 10 years or more ...(cheaper in bulk ie 20 ltrs)) If you try it be sure to let your son know its industrial alcohol and not for drinking. Run it past your GP if worried....and store safely as its flammable. Also, teabags are really great at absorbing smells - well worth a try, I use them in my car in a net bag!.... Also I like drying rosemary or rosemary essential oil mixed with the rubbing alcohol in a sprayer as an airfreshener. Good luck, I hate horrible niffs! Let battle commence

I think thats the thing. There is no best way, as a parent with your unique relationship you can only do what you think is best ... and it can be messy. When I saw what my son had been looking at I had the mother of all meltdowns and did all the above .... then a few months later had to do it all again. I believe he has a more balanced view now. Porn today is way too accessible and very disturbing content wise. Anyway, good luck. Hopefully he will understand your natural concern / love for him ...

Hello Moson, I'm new here too. I think there are a lot of undiagnosed Aspies around. Diagnosis probably only happens when a life starts falling apart and a health worker notices traits and refers on. While off sick (anxiety and depression) I asked my GP for someone to talk to about the work situation that was seriously impacting my health. He referred me to a nhs counsellor who noticed traits and referred me on. It was luck as much as anything that it was diagnosed within the nhs. I think some people pay for private diagnosis. But life goes on regardless of labels ...

Brooke, It was actually a major charity for people with learning disabilities. The way they blatantly contravened and abused employment and civil law was frankly disgusting ... all documented / evidenced. The deluded chief exec absolutely complicit as I sent him copies of almost everything. Away from the public eye they liked to rule by threat. Of course, the aspie side didn't yield or be intimidated by their imagined self importance but the way they lied and deliberately stitched me up caused level of stress that were personally very damaging and I couldn't tolerate. Those b*stards deliberately destroyed me but theres nothing I can do except pick up the pieces, recover and move on. Bitter? hell yes...but 'bitterness only kills its carrier' so I need to let it go and focus on getting very positive to get on my feet again. The future is now very uncertain but I am very tenacious once I pick a direction so should manage. Its just a shame that I was dependant on the job not just financially but emotionally and socially too. Maybe the heavens have done me a favour in a roundabout way. Thanks for the supportive comment.

Can you say what the situation is without getting upset ... ie: a sentence or two. Past is gone and can't be changed. I understand if thats not viable. Me and cryptic just don't work ...

Well thanks for the welcome confused traveller. Seems an relatively inactive site. Am I right in thinking Aspergers will cease to formally exist May 2016 onwards? I wouldn't worry / stress about getting a diagnosis .... life goes on with or without. At our ages we have adapted best we can. Asperger info provides insights, personal knowledge and liberation perhaps. Just have to stay positive, try to enjoy things and carry on.

I'm thinking it may be best to phone them to ask their advice regarding your part and focus in the follow up. I don't think its good to focus on problems but I guess you will have considered / documented how asperger traits have historically impacted your life ... negatives and hopefully positives too ... Do you foresee any barriers to a happy life ahead due to your asperger traits? ... Can they help you with 'workarounds'. Will you need further support and if so what with and from where ? I'm guessing they are going to help with some extra brainpower for any future areas that seem cloudy. Its guesswork though. If you are able ask them, then you can prepare properly. One hour is not long. For me the diagnosis was both a huge relief but also a source of worry, confusion. Now a time of acceptance and continued adaptation with insight which was formally absent. Its nice that I don't have to kid myself any more. Liberating Edit: I notice you are affected by ADHD. Something I have no knowledge of, so I apologise if my comments do not appear relevant.

Hi, should have introduced myself before posting, but anyway, here I am. Diagnosed with Aspergers just over 3 months ago at 53 yrs old. Bit late, but I am accepting of it and it explains alot. Been working in social care for around 28 yrs before that. Diagnosis came as result of problems caused by a company take over. The new management group were (are) underhand, nasty, self obsessed sociopaths and lied, bullied and harassed me in order to get rid of me. They did not like my accuracy and confident honesty. Though it resulted in a lot of serious personal problems to overcome and loss of longstanding employment they taught me alot about their techniques of dishonesty and corruption used in social care extending to chief executive level. Social care is not the industry it used to be. Having a caring nature used to be a vital prerequisite. Not alot of caring anymore, just cost cutting, misleading the public and tick boxes. The vulnerable have just become a financial commodity / meal ticket for some unscrupulous companies (some masquerading as charities). The most important thing I learned was that policies and procedures (something I understood very well and adhered to) are there for the benefit of controlling more junior staff and used as spin/public relations. They are just guidelines, not law. Managers and seniors are blatantly and routinely exempt at their own discretion. There is alot of complicity in the industry. Its also dawning on me that when people used to say 'say it like it is' they were not complimenting my ability to 'hit the nail on the head' but telling me I had been too honest / gone too far. Anyway, didn't want to mention all that that really as I'm trying to leave it behind / move on, get positive and find employment where forthright honesty is not a problem. Dipping into the forum over the last couple of weeks I note a lot of negativity. Having lived without diagnosis for so long my aim is to be realistically positive as thats the only thing thats worked well for me historically. Aspegers may provide some behavioural insights but we need building up, not knocking down. Aspergers is maybe an order rather than disorder ...

I think thats a misleading inaccurate implication. As relevant as are people with size 9 feet or black hair evil? Its important to try and focus on the positives in life

At 17 its unlikely you will stop him. It may be useful discussing the reality of what he is seeing. That some of what he sees may be just models simulating situations and simulating pleasure and not real .... Reality may be non-consenting abuse... pain... Think through and discuss reasons why people get involved in the pictures / videos...ie: substance abuse, addiction, alcohol, childhood abuse, prostitution, slavery etc. ...also who is profiting / making money , why its on the internet, police monitoring, viruses etc. Obscenity laws likely differ from country to country. Try to make it clear what is legal and what is not in this country. Its a big subject with many angles. He's at an experimental stage of life. Try introducing some cold reality to the situation to replace his fantasy. Are there any appropriate sites which may help him understand his sexuality that you could direct him to which you approve of? People do go through phases in life ... hopefully you can offer safe guidance... Share you view on adult relationships, love and sex to help him with a balanced perspective You may try putting the wifi on a timer for a while to restrict use if it seems really bad. No easy answer really other than doing what you think is best - life is messy sometimes, good luck

Having tried a few over the years - For over ear I like Peltor - nice quality feel and work very well. For in ear 3M earsoft fx - they don't hurt the ears. Both were available from ebay