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Everything posted by Ferret

  1. hello proudautie yes, this site has been down recently - a tech glitch which the tech faeries have fixed by the looks of it *leaves faerie snacks* please don't feel discouraged if this site is quiet, or you think no-one is responding to your post etc. because of reasons 'other'. also this site is quiet, but as autistics we tend to be that way unless we are on a subject, so there are flurries of activity etc. occasionally. there is also the NAS forum, where people occasionally post/share/or offer help to others, including families etc. there are rules there however about giving out personal informatione etc, so do familiaries yourself and read the rules there if you choose to try it out... i love all animals too. and nature. i have a cat too. do pet 'mr shadow' your cat in greetings for me. a pleasure to meet you.
  2. i'm sticking this topic here in this forum so as not to clog up any other. reason: because this might merely be one of what i call my midnight madness thoughts and by morning what seemed like a brilliant flash of inspiration turns into some horror that resembles the previous nights leftovers and ultimately gets consigned to the bin of lost causes. so here we go: i have been lurking about and around, as ferret's are want to do, and sometimes frequent NAS answering queries and questions over there etc etc. it struck me that i seem to be answering the same questions over and over again; the same topics keep coming up. it's getting a little repetitive, which is not a problem in itself, but it has highlighted either a) that people generally don't know how to phrase a question to google and do research; and b)) information about ASDs and all that entails being autistic is mostly i) conflated either by mis-information or poor diagnostics from the medical profession and academia/academics in the field ii) produced by NTs also: someone on NAS raised the issue of where to get to advice etc. as there seems to be a bit of gap when it comes to how to get the right information if a) one is newly diagnosed; b)) an adult having being diagnosed, as this does not appear to be on the map/radar - i concur here as my personal journey has been something like that of gandalf in the archives of minas tirith... but i digress. so: your thoughts please on the viability of creating/compiling a dictionary of autism. this would include everything, even down to bitter chocolate etc. an include things like false cures etc. myths about autism etc. this dictionary would be compiled by us, we, autistics, and much like a dictionary, be A-Z, with definitions etc. eg. bitter chocolate - excellent source of fibre, reputed to have the effects of.... you catch my drift.... i hope so your thoughts? if any?
  3. hello tdewar. firstly, congratulations on your successful completion of your uni course. now on to the other issues you've outlined. whilst i cannot give 'the solution' in terms of advices, i can perhaps outline perspectives that you may or may not have considered. please take all of which follows as autistic rambling and thought. i'll deal with each issue under broad umbrella categories, almost like a venn diagram as they insect, so perhaps best to consider them as gestalt rather than absolutely separate. 1. anxiety - being autistic, one's anxiety stems from the stimulus issues eg. over-stimulation, sensory overload etc. as you mention, the unfamiliar heightens or exacerbates sensations of anxiety. it often helps to at least be aware that what we experience in terms of anxiety is 'normal' for us. yes, that doesn't much help with the anxiety, nor stop it, as we are sensory beings, but it does at least help to know /why/, and then not turn one's thinking in upon oneself in a 'there's something wrong with me, people don't like me because xyz'; this distorted self-perception can be very damaging so it is best to be aware of the pitfalls and not fall into them. a fear of being judged can feed into this, and i will deal with that aspect later on... 2. the social ideals - one must be aware of the false ideal when it comes to life and self. the false expectations created by the idea that there is a perfect blueprint to follow when it comes to being a 'successful' person is a social construct and a lie. this gives rise to the sense one is 'missing out' on something, and 'life is passing by' because one has not achieved a benchmark. the tickboxes of this false social construct place unnecessary pressures on individuals to achieve that which is unachievable eg. success, a perfect partner, a perfect homelife, a perfect job, happiness etc. these are false ideals, and it is false thinking. it is a trap, a pitfall, and one that many people fall into. the result is this pressure to achieve that which is unachievable, and when in that mindset, the added pressure creates an exhausting effect on the individual. it's like a dog chasing its own tail; one just ends up going round in circles and berating oneself for failures which are irrational. so throw away the idea away. 3. other people and the dating game - consider for one moment one's expectations, a) in regards to oneself and then in respect of others. now ask the question: what do you want? this question can be applied to a) and b). if disparity exists between a) and b), there will be incompatibility present (evidenced by factors such as feelings of frustration, anxiety, sense of failure, etc) want is a variable. in order to resolve/balance the 'self' equation, one must reduce the frequency of variables. this can be done by addressing:- the 'wants', (and variables inherent therein). it is therefore important to identify whether 'self wants' are derived by i) external factors or ii) internal factors. 'external' factors include the social ideals outlined in 2. above, and are false expectations imposed upon the person; they are false ideals, ideas, and will create incompatibility in thinking and being. 'external' factors also increase variables. the result is that one then exists in a perpetual state of irresolution; one becomes stuck and cannot move forward; one's thinking turns inwards; one seeks constantly for a state of peace and security which seems ever illusive. 'internal' factors include self-defining ideals and arise out of one's own /natural/ pre-dispositions, thoughts and abilities. these are true expectations as they stem from one's true nature - in our case, our pre-dispositions underpinned by our autistic abilities. resolution of the a) variant, 'wants', and 'factors' means:- removing any ideas which are non-compatible and stem from external 'false' factors and expectations identifying and understanding 'internal' factors and 'self'. "ultimately, i just want to feel content, happy and secure in myself..."<---i think you already know the answer and what i have outlined above is already there in the back of your mind. it is almost, and i will make a leap here, as if you need to give yourself permission to throw away the 'tickbox' social identity external factors you are aware you are subject to, and instead, define your own identity. if you /want/ a girlfriend, and that is all you want, perhaps you need to think more deeply about what that 'want' /means/. we are a strange (and i mean strange in a gentle way) mixture of independent almost solitary nature yet simultaneously have an intrinsic need to give and share. i see it as a polarity, in that we want to touch, but prefer not to /be/ touched, until we can trust and feel safe with whom we are around. it's a fine balance, in finale, and one which can be achieved as long as one stays true to oneself, i think. one will then naturally gravitate to compatible environs which are in turn, inhabitant by compatible individuals. like all things in life, truth is effortless, and should be effortless. anything else is false.
  4. Ferret


    huzzah! yes, for a moment could've been a bit tricky but... - so we are both who we are and not some phantom impersonator (of which is entirely possible in this medium, damned imposter/impersonators will be unveilled as such in time no doubt) ahh, but i have found so few that can check my logic, or seem to be able to penetrate the veils of thought. i tend to 'come in' over the top, perspective-wise, and reduce everything to its formulae that i am often miscontrued - or rather the message gets completely corrupted and lost in translation. words, so limited, i need to invent more... and then one put into another person's brain... *has images of tangled balls of string...* ha-ah! very well then. t'would not be the first time someone's likened me to the sleuth, seems to be an in-joke with people who know me, so yes, let's share that and double our fortunes so to speak. a pleasure to speak to you once more, Dp.
  5. Ferret


    if you are one and the same dp as frequents nas site to dispense wisdom and 'bertrand russell' my logic, then the odds are favourable we have conversed before
  6. Ferret


    oh! hello there! *looks around* yes, the vibe hereabouts does seem to be a little more convivial.
  7. Ferret


    to all fellow Autlings wherever they may be on the spectrum, greetings! *raises paw in universal peaceful gesture* this forum looks pretty peaceful, if a little quiet, but nevertheless thought i'd add myself. more the merrier. see you around, if you're about... until then... *retreats back to burrow at underhill*
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