Philly

Dear Mother in Need, My heart goes out to you and your current situation. I would definitely involve someone medical like the GP at this stage for appropriate referral. There must be a reason for his depression and feeling suicidal and those needs need to be met. In my experience LEA's and schools take action on MEDICAL advice. In the meantime you've got the incredible pressure of keeping your son's head above water. To just snap out of depression is so difficult. Probably best to start encouraging a few suggestions which may bring out positivity. Getting up, showering, not listening to depressing tv programmes or music etc. reading a positive book, favourite dinner etc - trying to set up some kind of routine - easier said than done I know! If they cannot pinpoint the problem, his needs cannot be ascertained and therefore cannot be met. That school you mention don't sound like the most supportive bunch. Any chance of a fresh start somewhere else - clean slate, new start? In the meantime whilst his needs are being ascertained you can put in the necessary processes for applying for any support he may need at school. Keep strong

Regarding the diagnosis I received a paediatrician letter detailing some of the difficulties J was having and the title of the letter said Diagnosis : Autism Since then I have had letters titled "Serious movement problem"! and Autism and also Aspergers Syndrome came later when my son was about 6 years old after a review with paediatrician. Hope this helps.

thanks for your understanding oxgirl. I do think she wants to do something about it but she won't accept he is autistic - she says he has a watered down version of Aspergers. On Sunday she said if she had my son he'd be playing the cello by now. When my son stated he hated the sound of fireworks she said oh but you loved it when you were with us! That's because the fireworks were about 100 metres away! Now the other night she rings my 7 yr old son and said if he doesn't start ringing her she will stop calling him. How is that for emotional blackmail. My husband wants me to ask her to not come back here again but I can't do it and neither can he! Philly

My son of 7 was diagnosed at 2yrs 9 months. He still had the problem with smiling on request then and he still has it now - even after much coaching and showing him "how to smile". My mother in law said to me the other day she wanted a photo with a smile. You think she might have guessed after 300 photos - it ain't gonna happen unless I happen to catch him on the sly. Philly

I just wanted to let you know, having a 7 going on 8 yr old son with ASD, I sympathize with your pain over your mother in law. Last weekend my mother in law started crying (um, I thought we were the ones who should be doing that!!) and saying how we must discipline our son more and teach him to conform. Last week I did discipline my son and sent him to bed early where he screamed and scratched his face in frustration. I then had to face all the questions the next day, calls from heads, e-mailing teachers etc. I will never DISCIPLINE my son again. What he needs is understanding not chastizing. I could write a book on the nastiness of comments made by family members over the past years. THEY DON'T HAVE A CLUE. Philly