mrs fussy

Yes thanks claire that does help. I am worried that it is affecting his day to day life, he plays football and we noticed he was doing it whilst there and not concentrating on playing also we are worried that if other children notice they may make fun of him. Mrs F x

Hi everyone, i noticed someone had started a thread on children repeating themselves, this is similar. I have noticed my son for some time now when he touches something with one hand he then has to touch it with the other hand and it has to be the same part of the hand or arm.Does that make sense, if he touched something say..... with his lower arm he would then touch it with the other lower arm, he does this constantly and we actually feel like its affecting the way in which he does things. Also is this stimming ......... he frequently sits twidling a pencil with both hands making noises when i ask him what game it is he doesnt know he just likes doing it . Any ideas on this and if/how we should stop it. Mrs F x

Hi i must say until Jan this year i never even heard of special needs. How terrible is that, my son has i suppose always had problems getting on with other children his age but not major problems we have always put this down to him being a strong character and being an only child as he has always go on with adults really well and older children. There have been minor probs at school with him hitting other children but this has always been in response to something more of an over reaction than anything, his yr 2 teacher last year said this also, i asked if he was the only child like this and she said no but he probably does have more of a temper than the others, but when there was a problem and she spoke to me about it she said it nearly always solved it. This year he went into yr 3 after a month back at school i went in to see his new teacher to just generally find out how he had settled and she said he seemed fine(my concerns were that he may be being bulied by a child who had bullied him the previuos yr) she did at this point ask me if i ha heard of aspergers syndrome i said i had and had realised he did have SOME traits but that i wouldnt be taking it any further as felt if there wasnt any help for him what was the pooint.. At his parents evening i told her that he had said that he was getting a little bored sometimes in maths lessons, and i asked if his behaviour was ok she said she didnt have time to disscuss it now but if i wanted to i could pop in i could. She didnt ask to speak to me and i presumed that everything was ok as felt she would speak to me if she needed to. I had no other contact until the week before xmas they called me in and had drawn up an IEP for him this included somr thing about us as parents which i didnt agreee with and i tod her but it was never changed (i did nt sign these)(his teacher was senco at her last school, but not this one)i started to take him home some lunch times to help, there was often days from this time that they said there had been incidents with my son i informed them that 3 children were not helping by making his life difficult in and out of the classroom this was teasing and physical they would not accept this was happening, at this point i also realised that they were not doing anything on his IEP but didnt really know what to do , the incidents seemed to be occuring more and more but my sons version was often different(he is very honest and wil usually admit to what hes done wrong) they asked to refer him to the psych i agreed the things they wrote on the form i felt i had to agree with as i cpuldnt really say what he was klike in school because i am not there.she observed him for one afternoon and said they should do anger management and seek some help for concentration(during all this time there were constant supply teachers, because his teacher was acting as deputy head)i urgently asked for a meeting with senco the next day they gave me a new SA+ IEP. The day after i was given it they excluded him for 16 days to the end of term(i think this was so i could not meet with the senco as i would have said wht they needed to be doing)he returned on a part time basis for the whole of the summer term with 15 hrs support(as to waht happened and why he was excluded i have heard several different stories)the head in paper work said this was a sudden and rapid decline, but at meetings keeps teling me there have always been problems which one is it i think they always intended for him to try and get statement from year 3 and have let things just happen,i did at his feb parents evening ask about behaviour they said they didnt want to disscuss it it should be a positive PE i ahve told them they did nothing for him before his exclusion and what they were now doing was making him unhappy he did not get along with the TA and also we felt that some of the 15hrs should be use don the playground but they just would not try this, i tryed to tell them at last meeting they kept trying to finish it before i had finished and in the end the teacher and TA just got up in a huff made some comment and walked out !!! oh i did have the table shoved into my chest twice too during this meeting, you know i dont have a problem with him being statemented but his statement will need to cover everything he needs help with and i wanted ti=o make sure that all the info thay had did this because its too late after i told her my son couldnt return to school until what was upsetting him ha been resolved they took this to mean remove the support , that snt what i meant i wanted it moved around a little and i also wanted better communication between school and us as i felt this was a major problem. I spoke to the head the folowing monday and said i didnt feel my son could return as they would not listen to my concerns she agreed !!! we i feel have been set up, they would never disscuss his behaviour at official meetings and wouldnt when we asked but would record other parents concerns about my sons behaviour at parents evening, they wanted to make this look like it was a rapid thing and i dont think that it was its just they had done nothing about it, i feel this was all to provide evidence for assessment(at the back of all this i attended workshops on aspergers) and had my son refered to CAMHS all on he schools advice Sorry my last 6 months of life story fingers are aching now. thanks for listening Mrs Fx Sorry what is CAT test and Neale analysis test, i didnt know they had to do handwriting and spelling and comprehension and writing speed brain processing what would these be used for and what would they prove(you know he hasnt brought spellings home to learn snice xmas i wonder why) the ed psych only observed my son no tests they really have been naughty i think not teling me any of all this i didnt know these tests existed, we did have his record but all they sent was his IEP and attendence and end of yr 2 sats results.

Hi sorry you are having to go through all this it is terrible. You have to help integrate him with his new family when the case is over!!!! why are you going to court if this is already decided this is terrible i thought a court case was to decide what happens!! I am just speechless...... You have my heartfelt support keep fighting dont give up you can do this, you have to, how is your son does he realise all this is going on? What on earth is this country coming to. Hugs to you Mrs F x

Thats just the problem i want them to have a fresh look at him as we dont think he has the problems that his current school say he has, i really think i have just given them the bullets to fire getting him refered here there and everywhere on thier advice, now ive realised they just lie to make there life easier. What you said about them knowing your child better than you thats how i feel they are trying to tell me this, mind you they didnt know what to say when i told them that my son had his own opinions on all this and they differed from what they thought was best for him, and that he had not only told us he had told the ed psych too!!! they didnt know what to say. You know we want him to do well with his education but we want him to be happy to not pushed so hard that hes unhappy and being nagged at all the time, you know if he didnt go to school for 3 years im sure he would still get good sats results, and we just want him to be happy and thriving not some object that does well in exams for god sake hes only 8, theres much more time for al that isnt there, a freind of mine who is a secondary school teacher said not to worry until he gets to year 10 as in her opinion they dont learn a lot at primary anyway, and she said lets face it they dont teach him anything he doesnt already know. If we move him surely we will have to be re - refered to CAMHS wouldnt we as they would need to get info then from new school. I fear his old school would just give them the info they wanted jus to get him statemented. Why do they want him statemenated so much this is what i cant understand. Mrs F x

Yes thanks for the information, i think you are right about tackling both at once the only trouble is his old school wont accept the social difficulties, and we are worried the new school may not cope with is academic abilities, nitemare!!! although i must say he has recently made some freinds at school who seem to accept him, its just can we trust them (the old school that is) they just tel so many lies and contradict themselves all the time to get what they want. oh i feel like just flipping a coin. I am also worried that we have told his new school that we think he needs help socially and are worried that they may think this is the only help he needs although they do know about his exclusion so i suppose that is self explanatory(as regards behaviour) and the head would not give us an answer straight away and before he spoke to the other head so he did think long and hard about it, so hopefully would conider everything. Its just so difficult isnt it to know what to do for the best, and then all the bad treatment school have given to us as parents i mean if they can treat us like that what are they doing to my son? sorry ranting again Mrs F x

Hi yes they are all the ###### same by the looks of it!!! do everything you ask them not too and then blame your parenting skills for it. mind you sounds like your PP are ok though ours were so on the schools side virtually advisisng the school on what to do to cover thier arses. I hadnt really thought about the heads all knowing each other though how do you think this could affect my childs chances at new school? one good thing is the head is quite new only been there since january and said he didnt know the head but im sure he had already spoken to her by some of the questions he asked it was like he already knew the answers. So the choice is move and of course its a risk or stick with what we have and just go along with what they want. I just want a completely fresh start for him if we move him i want him completely re assessed with no biased information passed on. I am not sure he was even assessed properly at his old school. again sorry for venting Mrs F x

Does that mean you agree honesty is the best policy lol

Hi thankyou for your kind words, but my childs class teacher has worked in a special needs school with children with aspergers, and she is also a senco (she was senco at her last school, not ths one)his class teacher has dealt with all of this alongside the head, they have not consulted the school named senco at all, i feel if they had the outcome may have been different, perhaps he may get a little more understanding if we move him as present school do not seem bothered about how he feels so i dont really see we have any option really. Thanks again Mrs F x

Hi, how come you get it and they dont, this is what we have been telling them for the last 6 months if your going to put support in it needs to be directed at the right thing not what it has now resulted in because you havent helped him with those things in the first place why is that so hard for them to see, especially when i have been telling them, i tell you i think they have wanted it to go wrong(my hubby thinks they are just incapable). I spoke to the school nurse about him recently and she said she thought that was probably where all this behaviour has come from, and since the school have spoken to her they said to me oh perhaps a clean break is the best thing! i thought oh yes probably because you are worried that you may have to address the problem, when speaking to the ed psych we told her this is what we thought the problem was and she said oh perhaps he could do with eg circle of freinds etc..but then she said but i dont want to give the school too much to do at the moment! what the ###### are they doing thats what i want to know.the only trouble is this ed psych will be the same one for the new school. I have spoken to the head of new school and explained what we think the problem is, and he said yes i tend to agree with a child this bright i cant see why the support would need to be in the classroom,he needs some one to how him how to lay etc...i said yes if we sort out the problems on the playground(he has recently made some freinds at old school who accept him for who he is,but finds it difficult to get on with them as he doesnt really know how to and as i said can be very overbearing we do try at home but it doesnt help being an only child and all his cousins are grown up, also he trys to talk to peers about the periodic table and well what 8 yr old is going to find that interesting)and you wont get them in the classroom.The school think they are brilliant(the old one)they did nothing for him before his exclusion and then completely socially isolated him on his return by part time timetable. they think because they have put in 15hrs TA suport in the classroom they are brilliant we keep telling them they need to re-direct the support. Its like tring to treat a stomach bug with tablets for a headachce!!! rant over sorry Mrs F x

Hi no behaviour is not a problem, they are failing mainly in maths and science, the most recent ofsted (the one since new head took over) said they are now making satisfactory progress(the previous one said inadequate progress) so looks like this head is doing the trick, and he has made some major teaching changes and SMT changes have been made too, it said they have recently appointed a new SEN co-ordinator which they feel should make improvements (i have spoken too her and she seemed very willing to listen and help, i started to cry on the phone to her so she probably thinks that i am an emotional wreck too, and also now this AST, but behaviour is not noted anywhere as being a problem in fact it said the children are well behaved in classess although not always challenged enough, but hopefully the teaching changes will now help this, it does seem like the last 6 months there has definatly been an improvement, and at the moment i am more cocerned about his emotional state as his present school (well this year anyway) never seem to celebrate anything good that he does it just all seems negative. He has been on half days since easter and has still made a much progress as the other children if not more so i just think this shows that he does want to learn and try he is not a disruptive child he just wants to be left alone to get on with it, but wants t be listened to too. He is a very strong character and will give his opinion if its wanted or not and i dont think the teacher this year has taken to kindly to that, he is very in your face too but you know shouldnt we just accept that people are different. Mrs F x sorry MIN i have hi jacked your thread i hope you dont mind sorry x

Yes thats just it though in all the time hes been there they havent helped with the G&T other than sending him on one workshop and then saying to me that he is unable to go on anymore because of age stipulation, but the thing is they have said that he is at least in the top 5 of the school for his maths(hes yr 4 september) so how is this fair other children in year 6 are going on them and he is unable to although is more advanced than them, i dont even know who the maths co-ordinator is, and i dont think they have a G&T co - ordinator. Thats why im thinking school change is a good idea especially now as you say a school in special measures will probably be more willing to do something because of the close monitoring, but would this also mean they would be les understanding in the case of beaviour if this was a problem do you think, or would it nmean they would be more likely to put support in? whats your views plz. Mrs F x

Hi yes ed psych has been involved, i asked them for behaiour support but they have stalled on that(i asked them after they gave him a 16 day exclusion in march, my point is surely if his behaviour was that bad they would be glad of the help) they are still not willing, waht is SENSS? the kind of support i mean they need help with is perhaps to help with what to do with him because of him being already at the expected level 3 years early(thats what i meant when i said the teacher didnt know what to do with him i meant academically) what support should they be seeking to help with that? i will be honest i am not realy taht conceerned about his behaviour as i feel they have exagerated it, because if it was that bad they would be seeking behaviour support. Or perhaps they know why hes behaving badly because its because he is bored (he often says he is) then surely they would be at fault and they wouldnt want that would they. Sorry i have a real downer on them as they have treated us quite badly this last year. thx for the advice any more greatly appreciated Mrs F x BTW have you any idea how to some how get him tested myself to see how advanced he really is, as i think sometimes he is much further foward than we think he just seems full of information (i often have to look it up on the internet to see if he is correct and hes usually spot on) hes like a sponge show him once and well hes got it, someone taught him long division at 4 and he could do it staight away and when i asked him when he learnt it he could tell me exactly who it was and on waht visist to there house at what time if the year it was!! and i didnt even know thats where he learnt it myself. Mrs F x

Surely 20% means 1 day out of 5 and PPA isnt that 1 half day so do you mean 3.5 days a week rather than 3.5 hours? The schools poor areas are maths and science so i am presuming the newly appointed AST would be skilled in this area to be of any benefit to the school, and maths and science are the areas (especially maths)that my son excels in. It is interesting though what you say about schools in special measures i never really thought of it like that. My son did find supply teaching a real problem last year but so did al the children and beleive me there were a lot of differaent ones, but once they had a little more consistency with one regular supply teacher he did get to like her although his problems at school had already escalated by then, so i think maybe 2 consistent teachers may be ok unless there is one that he doesnt really get on with of course, but this could happen with one teacher copuldnt it. BTW my son has no diagnosis and seems to cope well with change at home as long as you tell him your plans hes fine. I am not sure if the AST will be his teacher though but surely she is going to help raise standards overall and then at least the other teachers will have someone to go to for help. My son is already at a level 5 and hes just gone 8 and i think his teachers at present are realy struggling with what to do with him as i must say i can appreciate especially if this is not there area so to speak, but shouldnt they be calling in some expert advice to help rather than just plodding along.(his teacher last year(she was one of the good guys)told me that they truthfully didnt know what to do with him) they have not been so honest this year just blaming my son for the problems. ANY advice on the xtra help they should be seeking? as they just dont let on about the help that is out there. Thanks Mrs F x

Sorry no advice but i know what you mean about the above, my sons school say he has behaviour probs and i do not agree, i think he has social probs which they will do nothing to help him with, they were going to request statutory assessment but that doesnt look likely now. They keep making strange coments to me and keep saying that if i was you going through all this i wouldnt go to work!(i did have some time off when all the probs at school first started as i felt it difficult ) but then they kept saying i wouldnt go to work they are trying to make me look crazy keep trying to provoke me into losing it even had a table shoved into my chest at last meeting twice!!! but of course it was an accident,. I didnt rise to it by the way although it was difficult, in the end the class teacher and the TA walked out of the meeting how unproffessional is that, because thier winding up skills did not work. i am sure they must be experts at this, its so they can make all the problems look like our fault. we are probably going to change school after the hols what do you think we should do? if we dont i fear either me or my son wil go crazy, its such a shame though because he doesnt want to leave his freinds but i think some times you have just got to try and move on and hope that its for the best what do you think i just hope then he will make new freinds. Sorry just needed to vent and let you know you are not alone. Mrs F x

Sorry not offering any advice but have found this thread really interesting as we are in the same predicament, its the hols now for us but we have found a school that will take our son, we had a meeting with his present school before we found this school and well it all went pear shaped and the teachers ended up walking out the meeting!!! his present school have put support in but it just doesnt seem to be working for our son at the moment i personaly dont trust them but dont want him to move because of his freinds. His old school we have told that we are thinking about taking this other place the head seems to want that now too but i dont really want to put all my eggs in one basket so to speak, because the new school although have been very helpful are at the present time in special measures(since the new head tho have now improved and he has very good track record 15 years of bringing schools out of S M) but we are worried as my son is very advanced for his age and are worried if the teaching is not adequate then this wil create more probs) the new school has just employed an advanced skils teacher tho so we hoped this may help. Sorry didnt mean to hi jack the thread just really poignant to us at the moment and also any advice would be great thx Mrs F x

Sorry dont mean to take over thread but could someone tell me 'Independent school' would that be any independent or ASD specific. thx

Hi does anyone know how i could get my 8 yr old son IQ tested, and would this really give an accurate indication to how clever/advanced that he is. We know and are constantly told that he is way ahead and bright but we just dont know how far ahead and feel if we did know this would help us to make decisions on what best to do as far as his education. If there are any teachers i would really appreciate your insight and experience. We have been told in feb that he was 3 years ahead and had already acheived the highest level expected for a year 6 child in some subjects(hes year 4 in september) on asking what he would be doing in the other years his teacher said she didnt know(this was also said to me last year that they didnt reallly know what to do with him)school have said his behaviour isnt good he has no diagnosis and we are not sure that he will get one although does show some autistic traits, school keep putting his behaviour down to asd but do you think it could be due to such a rigid curriculum. What happens when they have already got all the knowledge that the curriculum can offer until they go to secondary school, what are the options in this case would a statement help if he could manage to get one would this open up new doors as far as his education. THANKS Mrs F x

Hi does anyone know how i would get information on anger management suitable for an 8 year old, or does anyone personally have any experience of this, any help greatly appreciated. Mrs F x

Hi not sure if anyone can help my sons school are saying his SEN is emotional,behavioural ,social, what kind of evidence would need to be provided to prove this by school for stat assessment. Anyone got any examples emotional i know what it means but how would they provide evidence would thay have to prove that he is often upset for long periods ie. documentation of such incidents and the same for behavioural, social would that mean he doesnt have freinds at school or what other evidence would they need because my son does have friends, but because they have put him on part time ed this has made this difficult. Hope this makes sense. Mrs F x

Yes i can appreciate it can be daunting and i know there are mostly wonderful teachers out there, but as you say some that dont like children and thats the sort my son has had this year with disasterous effects! good look with your new year group Mrs F x

Hi Wilson, im a bit dumb but what do you mean by hands on clearly vocational subjects?, that is the problem there isnt a stable enviroment and he has now got support provided by school but she stressess him out and he is scared of her, they are at the moment trying to get him statemented and i feel they are just letting him get into trouble without trying to prevent things to provide evidence.(this is just my view)where as in the previous 3 years they have done everything they can for him.(my son is not diagnosed and im not sure he should be although he does show some autistic traits, these dont effect his home life. Mrs F x