mrs fussy

oops soory mistske

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH damn school again, say they recognise that my son needs to be prepared for meeting his new teacher next week they are having a 3 day induction with her, its THEM that feel he doesnt cope well with change let me say, my son was sent home ill today and the rest of the class were informed who there new teachers were he was only doin half day anyway why couldnt they have sent the letter home with him, they are mixing them all up this year so its impossible to tell who it will be.I got my husband to ring the head(as i would have ranted at her)to find out who it was listen to this she was engaged so would ring back, when she did she said that it went out in a letter, we said well of cousre you know that our son came home early today so didnt get his so please tell us now oh i cant she said im not at school at the moment and dont want to give out the wrong information, but rest assured I did consider long and hard about who it would be(considering she had excluded him for 16 days this year because of her own inadequcies0 so if she considered long and hard she knows who the ######hell it is then doesnt she, especially as she is the one that said prepare him!!! im sure she wants to wind me up so i do something silly like punch her on the nose, thats why i got the other half to ring cause hes as cool as a cucumber, she better look out on Monday!!! no im going to wind her up and be cool calm and collected. Rant over Mrs F x

Yes i can see that a diagnosis is probably the best its just that my sons problems only appear at school he has no real problems other than this(now in year 3) and had no real problems before this, the teacher suggested aspergers to me, i feel that they often exaggerate his problems, and a lot of the information passed onto CAMHS was by the ed psych and this was information given to her by the school,she said they have put him as priorty which obviously im pleased about but also concerned as they said only children that self harm are priorty(my son does NOT).She (ed psych )also said it will be a straight forward diagnosis, and i cant see this as he only shows a few traits nothing major, it just seems the school want a diagnosis for some reason, i am worried it is to cover there own failings, ie they havent really provided him with the kind of work matched to ability, he is gifted too you see could they be covering there tracks is is behaviour bad because he bored???im just not sure.What happens at first appointment with CAMHS surely they dont give a diagnosis at first appt, they will listen to waht i have to say wont they and do i have a right to read everything that has been written about him. Mrs F x

Yes thx for that, its apreciated Mrs F x

Wow couldnt believe it my council IS one of those who have replied, im shocked.But yes it is pathetic 40 out of 149, terrible.

Hi yes this really does describe my son, and im not too worried about the lable just unsure if he warrents it but your description is kinda how i feel about my son, as it was school who first suggested aspergers, is the decision tol abel by proffesionals ie CAMHS taken lightly or is it very thorough, oh im just so confused first i thoght he was aspergers now its coming towards diagnosis im questioning it is this usual? or am i just in denial. Mrs F x

Hi thx for your replys everyone,madme my son is the same he is also gifted working 3-4 yrs ahead of his peers in some subjects, but also has the bad kid name at school especially amongst a couple of parents who have complained about him and which then ended in exclusion, the head teacher is the other big problem who insists he 'tow the line' regardless.I have had though a lot of support from other parents who really know my son and how lovely he is, my son is absoloutly no differant to any other child at home and i just wonder if they have exaggerated his problems,as he is in year 3 now and had no big problems before, do you think a dx helps with the education system or not though folks?has it opened up any doors so to speak. Mrs F x

Hi my son is soon probably to get a diagnosis of AS, i am now quite worried about this,should we get him labeled or not. His problems have been at school in the las 6 mnths, previuous to this no MAJOR concerns other than he doesnt really keep freinds too well and has a short fuse. What are the pros and cons to getting a diagnosis? especially regards school.Thanks Mrs F x

Hi yes i feel for you too i have certainly encountered this at my sons school during the last few months, the strares, the tuts, but just remember these are the parents with PERFECT children(not), so of course it is there place to judge! sorry for the sarcasm, it just really irritates me as its usually the parents of the children that cause our children the most problems that are doing all this i find. I must say though that you will find that there will be parents who are the total opposite and these will be supportive and understanding this is what i have found, and yes they are few and far between but as i think baddad said they are worth much more than the fair weather type. As one supportive parent has said to me recently HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND BE PROUD BECAUSE AT HE END OF ALL THIS IT WILL BE YOUR CHILD THAT WILL BE DOING WELL IN THE FUTURE AND WILL SHOW THE LOT OF EM. Good advice i think and i have took it, keep your chin up, look after yourself and remember there is a lot more of us in the same boat on here that you can share your frustrations with. Mrs F x.

I am sorry that the school are not taking any notice of your concerns and what i would say is follow your instinct, your his mom and you know him best. Believe me if things change regards him at school they will be the first demanding that YOU do something. You certainly are not mad just a concerned mom and like i say go with what you feels right because if at the end it turns out he doesnt have aspergers at least you will be sure and not always questioning, and if he does then you will have ensured him the help he needs. I have the oposite my son is perfectly fine at home, but supposedly an evil child at school, well so his current teacher says (none of his previous 3 did) and try to imply that hes like it at home even on occassions telling me he is, i have often thouhgt of inviting her to live with us for a week. So in one way your a little better off because at least you know he is happy and safe at school, and you can try and get the help you think he needs yourself believe me this is a much less complicated way, and less stressful even if you dont think it at the moment. Keep your chin up and do what You thinks right Take care Mrs F x.

Thanks for your reply thats reassuring, the only worry i have is that senco and ed psych know each other quite well, i suppose though we have to tell the truth but need to be careful with wording, the school think they know best if you know what i mean and are rather patronising, you know the 'we have the qualifications type' which i do respect but we do know our son the best i think and if they just take a moment to listen they may find we have some helpful things to contribute, especially as we have no problems with him at home, i think this is probably because we know how to handle him.I will certainly be taking your advice and be honest, Thanks for your help Mrs F x

Hi to everyone, my 7 yr old (undiagnosed) has been 'observed' by the school ed psych in feb, she has now arranged a meeting with us at home.She said this meeting is to discuss my son because she has a meeting with CAMHS about priorotising,(my son is also under child pead) she said she wants a full history from birth to present and our views on school(he only has problems at school is fine at home)our relationship with school is virtually none exsistent at the moment, we are worried about saying what we really feel about this in case she tells them.Whats your views on this as we dont really want to say they are doing a wonderful job because they are not.Does anyone know do ed psychs get involved with CAMHS like this? and whats your views about regards information about school. Thanks Mrs F x

Hi I am disgusted by this but am not suprised as i think this teacher could possibly work in my sons school , and the unfortunate thing is all the teachers he has to look forward to have the same attitude. I would like to add though that during the first 3 years of my sons schooling(at the same school) the teaching staff were wonderful, and if i get the chance (before my son is permanently excluded, as i think this is what will happen if his lack of support continues)i will personally thank them its just a pity theres not more like them eh! A frustrated and downtrodden Mrs F x

Hi thankyou all thats very useful, My son is not yet diagnosed and would i say if he does get a diagnosis he would be 'mildly' aspergers, hes a very bright lad (7) and going up into year 4, he doesnt have a statement, and the school are errrr unhelpful to say the least. He does at the moment have a room off his present classroom that he goes to if he needs too which he uses well, we are just worried this wont be available in new classroom, he is receiving some 1 2 1 but the amount is questionable and about as helpful as the rest!!! if you can understand that. We feel its kinda useless asking for anything because they just say oh we cant do that or okay then and dont do it, cant they see we are trying to make there life easier too. I think i will try and pop if after school once i find out his teacher for next year, hopefully will be a more helpful one. I can just do this unannounced as such and then they cant refuse me can they!! Oh why does it all have to be such a battle? sometimes i think they want it to go wrong, get the impression they dont think SEN kids should be in mainstream, at my school that is, previous to this year we have had no problems its amazing what can go wrong in a few months, all previuous teachers have said what a lovely boy he is it just takes one doesnt it and bam it all goes wrong Sorry just needed to vent! Thankyou all for the advice i sahll certaily be making sure i follow it Mrs F x

Hi, my sons school have offered no help with his transition into the new school year other than a 3 day induction as they are doing for all the children in his year group. We do not really have a very good relationship with them at the moment, we are worried that there has not been a nominated place where he can go when he gets upset(has already been fix term excluded) so this is a real concern for us to prevent further problems. He will just meet the teacher the same day as everyone else with no real preparation or for the new classroom, they have asked us to prepare him but wont even tell us who the new teacher is, he does have an iep but dont really do anything on it, his own class teacher has been doing his ieps as she is a trained senco but not actually the school senco. Any suggestions or advice on preparation that we could do with him to help, whats your experiences of this please Mrs F x what are the sort of things we should be asking for?

HI thanks for your relpy, i hadnt thought of it as illegal exclusion before, but i suppose you are right , yes i think they are saying the support is needed for him to be at school, but kind of feel like they are trying to give me the bullets to fire as far as the LEA go, if you can understand that. I dont have a problem with statutory assessment but it is them really that feel he needs it so why dont they get a move on, we really have no problems with our son at home. Can i say too that he doesnt really enjoy having someone with him al the time, and that he is acheiving at school, and beyond his peers too, he is a kid who wants to learn. Thank Mrs F x

Hi have been to pead today and feel a little happier, as she showed me referral letter to CAMHS which we previously thought had not been done, so somewhere there has been either a loss or a misunderstanding (trust it to be us just our luck) and it seems that ed psych has a meeting with them too so hopefully someone will start and do something which will hopefully help! and will help to make school happy too, i think! as we are at the moment frightened to even approach them as head is i feel gunning for us (perhaps understandably)This has somehow turned us from qiuet reserved unasuming people into confused, upset and now it seems demanding parents, perhaps we can now things are hopefully moving return to the people we were before this all started. We live in hope Mrs Fussy x BTW Bard school asked us to write a supporting letter to go with there evidence do you think we should and what kind of things should we include or anyone else who has suggestions please.

Hi Bard, yes that is all we want mainstream schooling but full time, i think maybe we have been a little hard on the school, as after his exclusion they did put in 15 hrs is this more than your son gets? my son is what they say gifted in maths and also has an understanding well above his chronological age in science believe me he does, hes well into the periodic table at the moment, they have recently given him a year 6 sats paper to do and said if he was in year 6 now he would be in the top 5! and hes only 7, i find it quite scary, sounds like your school is very good but it probably helps that you understand the system too, as i am suspicious of everything they do as i had convinced myself they just wanted rid of him which they probably do now because of me.They are saying though that the support does seem to be working, but say that he is often quite rude and has to be asked lots of times before he will follow instructions and then is quite rude when having to do what he is told , they say he often back chats which i do believe, the head said this has to stop as other children will think that it is okay to do this, i have suggested they wait a few minutes and pull him to one side and tell him off they said they havent been telling him off for fear of him losing his temper, the head said this is not good enough as the other children wont know he has been told off, dont know what thy expect me to do i have said to them i will speak to him. Mrs Fussy x

Hi Bard, it really is difficult isnt it as sometimes it feels like they are talking about a differant child, could i ask what you mean by funding has been secured for next year, do you mean that school are funding support? as my sons school are currently funding 15 hours support and i am worried that they are going to withdraw this at some point, ?as this is the problem we have hes 3 yrs ahead in some subjects, Mrs Fussy x

Hi hope someone can help when being assessed for an ASD are specific tests used and what are they plz. Who is qualified to diagnose my son is currently under a pediatrician who has knowledge of ASD would she be qualified to diagnose we did see her understudy who said he would be refered to CAMHS that was 4 mnths ago and as yet no referal any advice on waht we should do she did say she thought he was some where on the spectrum probably aspergers as he is very bright, but she herself was not able to diagnose. How will CAMHS help do they just diagnose or provide other service? sorry for all the questions Mrs Fussy x

Hi and welcome i am also fairly new but have found this forum a great help, i dont often post but find reading others posts really helpful, Ihope you do to Mrs Fussy x

Hi and Thanks for your replys, can i ask Mel why was it taking so long should it not all be done in 6 months? and if you dont mind could you tell me why they were desperate for help? my son was put on SA at christmas then SA+ in March the day after he was put on SA+ he was excluded for a long period they i think are tryng to say hes at risk of permanent exclusion they have put some TA support in for him since going back to school but he has been going back only mornings since easter they have finally decided to let him now go in a couple of full days too, this they say is a Pastoral Support Programme, whatever that means.We were reluctant at first to get him statemented as he is now in year 3 at school and has never really had major problems before this,(he doesnt have a diagnosis)he is also like any other child when at home no real problems although we do know he does have a bit of a temper.We just thought perhaps when he changes teacher things may be better but on trying him at another school for the day he said he would rather go back to his original school, and the new school said to us that his day wasnt very successful and they didnt think he was up to the change. So now having upset his old school by wanting to move him, they are not really being very helpful.We now feel statutory assessment is needed as perhaps his problems at school are worse than we thought having tried another one, it is difficult for us because he really is no problem at home. Sorry its so long BTW any further advice would be appreciated Thanks Mrs Fussy x

Hi everyone, our sons school said they were going to request statutory assessment, but seem to be reluctant at the moment to do so, (we think this is because our relationship with them recently hasnt been the best) we were wondering if parents request assessment is it less likely the LEA will assess, from your experiences which is mostly likely to be successful our request or a schools request. Thanks for any replys in advance Mrs Fussy x

Sorry for being dumb but what actually is Disagreement resolution service. Thanks

Hi can anyone help my 8 yr olds school want to requset statutory assessment, which originally we were happy with what evidence do they have to provide he is on a part time timetable at the moment as was excluded for a long period (pastoral support programme)and has been for 6weeks or more is this evidence? thay have also asked us to write a supporting letter to go with thier "evidence" which we are a little worried about doing. We are to be honest a little worried about their intentions, our lad is also very bright an although it seems has issues at school(which we do not see at home) seems to be achieving academically, and well above his peers in some subjects.He does not yet have a diagnosis and are only really at the begining of the process, he is under a peadiatrician and the lea ed phsyc, the phsyc seems to think he does need statement, although was coached by the senco before obsserving him.Any advice would be appreciated Thankyou.