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I feel so sorry for some of you regarding the playschemes in your areas - we've got a place on a great one at somewhere which is a family centre in term time, 6 adults to 8 children, so friendly and accomodating - we had to fill in a big booklet about our child before he went and they read that and really hadle the child as you say is best. G has a huge phobia about being alone at the minute and need accompanied everywhere including the toilet and they're fine with that too. In short I'm really impressed and it's the place where I've been happiest to leave having tried a few creches etc over the years. However G (he's 5 and has AS) has decided he hates it - the first week my partner sat for 2 hours as G was becoming so distresed at the idea of daddy going then bit the bullet and left leaving G hysterical and trying to run our after him, the next day (it's 2 days a week) my mam took him and again he was hysterical when she left. Both times he's been apparently fine during the day. This week he was at the hospital on Thursday so missed that day but was supposed to go in on Friday - he was getting so upset and aggitated at the mention of this place that in the end I said he didn't have to go. He can't explain why he hates it. I suspect part of it is missing me - he cries for me at school sometimes. I rang them and said he wasn't coming back and they were lovely but suggested keeping his place open incase he changes his mind - should I persevere or give up if it's causing him this much upset. He also getting upset the last few times he's stayed at my mams 'missing mammy' - and he adores her and has stayed at hers since he was 9 weeks old. It seems as though he just doesn't like being apart from me.

I though I understood what language to use with my son but still get caught out - when we go out for a walk sometimes he rides his bike and the baby (22 mth) toddles, I have a habit of saying 'watch your brother' when it looks like L might wobble in front of the bike or G might knock him and only the other day realised that when I say 'watch...' he literally does, takes his eyes off where's he's going and watches the little one!

That's interesting - I asked about a statement and have been told that we are very unlikely to get one as G's needs are being met by school action plus (debatable - he's not throwing bikes anymore but not reaching his potential imo) The specialist Autistic teacher told me that only children in the 'bottom' 5% of the autistic spectrum are given statements which I find very hard to believe as does our local Barnardoes support worker.

That's what he was given Cutie for his eczema (which is severe) - unfortunately it's left us with sleeping problems. He was a good little sleeper before he was prescribed vallergan forte (and while he was on it). We're at the child and family unit on Monday so will see what they say - they really advise the melatonin maybe they can convince dp if I can't We have a reward scheme - at first sticker charts now 10ps for going to bed without a fuss, staying in bed all night long and trying not to shout at mammy. The 10ps worked better than stickers but not always. I do believe it's a very genuine fear atm but my concern is that once the fear has gone (it will go one day, please!) then the routine of needing all this reassurance, not going anywhere alone, needing DVDs, a light on and his brother in bed just to (eventually!)go to sleep will stay. He does get set in his ways. However even when dp has really put his foot down and said he must stay in bed / go to the toilet alone G simply can't and becomes hysterical - I do believe that if he could he would when daddy is cross as he generally does as he's told for dp even when he would try things on with me. It's just not put as a normal 5yr old thing - he can try it on don't get me wrong, but this isn't one of those times (yet!) Thanks for all the input everyone though - I might try gradual withdrawal, lil_me, on the occasions when I can't get his little brother to bed before him. I even tried telling him daddy was in bed the other evening (he works shifts so often is in bed at funny times) and shut our bedroom door but once I was downstairs G went and checked and caught me out!

Hi I haven't been on the forum much lately (I have breaks sometimes or it all gets too much) but wonder if anyone has any new ideas about my son's fear of being alone. He's always been a little bit wary (we had to stand at the bottom of the stairs when he went to the loo as he was frightened of the smoke alarm and he refused to go into the bedroom as the eyes of the soft toys frightened him - even when we removed the toys he was still scared) Now it's reached a new dimension - he's terrified to do things that he would do previously such as stay in the bath himself while I got his baby brother out and dressed, go to bed alone (we always took him up but he'd lie alone till he went to sleep), I can't even run downstairs for something if he's upstairs and now he has to be taken right to the toilet - even standing at the bottom of the stairs where he can see me is no good. Bedtime is a nightmare - we got around the fear of being alone by letting him watch a DVD (very tame ones such as Little Red Tractor or Thomas ones that we know haven't got 'scarey' episodes in) and have a night light but now even that doesn't work - his brother has to be in bed too. His brother is a terrible sleeper though and this can't be guaranteed which means I have to sit in the dark with a toddler while ds#1 tries to go to sleep while of course there's too much distraction as the little one plays. Even if I keep ds#2 awake all day ds#1 is now taking ages to get to sleep, he used to conk out at 7 - now it's nearer 10.30 - 11pm. It's so hard practically especially with the little one and as dp works shifts I'm often on my own with the two of them and end up having to carry the toddler everywhere ds#1 needs to go (and often now he's hitting the terrible twos he doesn't WANT to go !). I go to the loo and have to take 2 children upstairs! We've tried Melatonin with the sleep and it did knock ds#1 out quickly (although didn't stop night waking) but dp has vetoed the melatonin altogether now as he doesn't want to drug ds. Of course it's not usually him up and down stairs all night long. The sleep problems only started in recent months previously he was an excellent sleeper but was prescribed vallergan for his severe eczema to put him in a deeper sleep to try and stop him scratching so much and since coming off that it's all went horribly wrong. This is partly why dp is so against further medication. Sob. Any tips / advice / consolation gratefully received

I don't home educate but I'm pretty sure that you don't need permission as such from the LEA - you write stating your intentions and I think they come out and see that you are providing an education for your child. It doesn't have to be that you follow the national curriculum or anything formal like that. I found this link for you, I've heard other people speak well of them http://www.education-otherwise.org/ As I said I don't personally home educate, I don't know if I could cope with my son all day (I'd reconsider if things got bad at school however) but from your post it sounded like something you'd like to look into and it sounds like the LEA aren't giving you the correct impartial information. Hope this helps. xx

Your post made me so cross, as other posters have said it must be nice to be perfect and be able to judge everyone else and their children. She shouldn't have told your son to go away - he's only 3, you don't speak to little ones like that! And her compassion when you told her that your son was autistic! What a b**ch. She obviously has no idea of what you life is like and how much harder it can be made by the likes of her. I know it's hard - I spend hours worrying over things that have happened and what people think myself - but try and write her off, what she thinks doesn't matter one jot.

I came on here just to see if anyone else had mentioned could Eugene be an Aspie - I thought that as soon as I saw him but hearing his mum describe him as a child (from another mum who used to tour the lightening departments at DIY shops ) made me think hmmmm... He does seem like a lovely man

Have emailed you Karen

I'm near Heworth Comp Karen, my dp went there (what years were you there?). A coffee morning would be great Hello all Tyne and wear people! And hello everyone else too.

I'm excited there's someone else here from Gateshead! Hello Karen. Whereabouts in Gateshead do you live? We're in Heworth. Anyone else in Tyne & Wear?

Another family fund query? After a disappointing phone call today We got a letter a while ago to say that G had been accepted as severely disabled and to fill in a form and send proof of our income etc which I did. Today they phoned to check that I still wanted the grant for the same things (clothes as G has severe eczema and we spend a lot on special nightwear, gloves etc and driving lessons) then said 'oh I see you're on Incapacity Benefit...', got the calculator out and worked out that the Incapacity Benefit pushed us just over the income level. But on the website it says the limit is �23000 of income from employment? Dp earns about �250 a week and the rest of our income is made up of child tax credits, child benefit and G's DLA. Any thoughts or should I let it lie?

Hi I thought I'd say hello - I'm Janice mum to George who's 5 and was just diagnosed with AS / High Functioning Autism in November and it's taken a bit of getting used to even though I thought of George as soon as I heard of Aspergers. Also have a 19mth old Leon who I can't help watching and worrying about. George is in mainstream school and varies between being a gorgous sensitive boy where you wouldn't think there was anything wrong and a challenge!

Obsessions: started with fans which lasted a few years, loved them even to getting us to cut pictures of them out of the Argos (pre diagnosis and we thought this was a nice hobby ), moved onto lampshades - he had a collection and had to go and visit lamp shade departments, used to sit in his buggy holding a lampshade bless him, brief spell of house alarms, Thomas has lasted over the years and he still takes him out at times and to bed. Spider in the Bath videos - cos it briefly showed a dishwasher and he liked us to rewind that bit and explain it Probably more minor obsessions Fears: Is his food fresh - luckily that's receeded atm but used to ask every mouthful Hand driers in public loos - again that's okish now Being alone - won't go upstairs or downstairs by himself, even to the loo The dark Does not like people looking at his brother (18mth) which can cause problems Does not like girls which causes even bigger problems! The smoke alarm used to be a problem too