llisa32

Thats great news, you must be so relieved....Really pleased for you

Hi, I'm just getting all my facts together in prep for meeting with Child Pschychiatrist, and whilst I was preparing I read in the learning support units report re my son from 1.5 years ago that: J scored below his chronological age in the Auditory memory test, whereas his score in the visual sequential memory test was well above his chronological age. I'm not altogether sure what the above means Is this something relevant to Aspergers? - sorry if it's a dumb question Thanks in advance

You can't see me mumble but I am positively swooning over the link of Josh and Lee Thanks you lottttss And I'm glad your meeting went well

Thats great news...try to enjoy your day and not worry too much Take care

Thanks all for your replies...thats why I love this forum - it's good to get a mix of opinion. He was really chuffed to be given the part he's got, it's a proper part rather than one of the chorus groups and it didn't involve any solo singing - which he did point blank refuse to do The bits that make him uncomfortable are the face paint/makeup, the lights, and getting the dancing and movement in time - which I think is what makes him have to concentrate so hard. The night before the play he had 'tummy ache', head ache etc...which I know was just nerves...which I guess is whats been making me feel uneasy - particularly after watching him. Baddad - you do have have a point though, and I see what you're saying ....this is hopefully the last compulsory play now as they move up to year 3 in sept and I think it's a 'volunteer' thing from then onwards regards the plays. Mumble...your idea about taking part behind the scenes/prompting etc may well be a brilliant one ...he knows absolutely everyone elses lines and where they should be and when (memory thing I guess ..and I think he would probably enjoy that aspect. So..at the moment I have signed to say he will take part on the Saturday..and will do my best to keep him calm and see if I can convince the make up dept to go easy:) Thanks all

Hi...just wondering if anyones had experience of this and has any advice pls? Every term J's class do a 'play' and perform if for the older part of the school, and then parents etc They also have to go in on a saturday morning and 'perform' again for an open day at the school During this terms play J looked deeply uncomfortable throughout the entire performance and I just wanted to go get him and take him home - he had lines and a part to play...which he did, he remenbered all his lines etc, but he absolutely hates face paint and the theatre lights on him. School managed to convince him to wear just some foundation which he suffered but obs hated. The performace was videoed and i'm waiting for my copy now just to re-convince myself that he did look as miserable as I thought, my mum was with me and she mentioned it to me as soon as we got out. My problem is the saturday peformance....it's a 'school rule' that the kids go in and perform..I personally don't hold with any 'school rules' that impose on a saturday unless we've asked for them...eg sport etc. But.... because to J school rules are gospel he won't hear of just not attending, but I know if we were to suddenly have family to visit etc he'd be more than happy to be unable to attend. He's asked several times if I'm sure no one is visiting or waiting to be visited ....but what do you think? - I know it won't put him in danger by attending it just feels so mean to make him do something like that on a weekend when he's clearly unconfortable. The teachers as mentioned in my previous posts are blissfully unaware that J has any problems, and when I pointed out to his teacher how uncomfortable he looked during the performance she just laughed and said ' ah, thats just because he was concentrating!' All thoughts gratefully accepted Thanks

Hiya, Sorry your son's having a hard time at the moment. I can relate to much of your thread. My ex is my son's dad but we're on great terms (better than when we were together) and we share the parenting/all of scholling etc. However....and it's just my opinion...sometimes I don't think the men in out lives see what our son's are going through in the same way that we do. My opinion on how to deal with my son sometimes differs to that of both my ex and my current hubby and if I feel that strongly I will go with what I think is best and although the two dads might sulk a bit I at least feel relieved - and my son generally is a bit less stressed. There a great tendancy I think with boys where dads think they need to persevere, toughen up etc - but I don't personally think thats always the best route for some of our kids. Tis not to say they are bad dads - far from it, both my son's dad )he calls them daddy no..1 and daddy no.2 , are both excellent, they each have different strengths and ways of interacting and bonding with J...but I think they both sometimes miss the deeper stuff and sometimes mum has to take over. Maybe you could agree with your hubby that if you agree with your son that he can stop the ice skating 'for a while' but it will mean less other treats for a few weeks because youve already paid the money out, or something like that it might give you a compromise for both of them. From what you describe it does sound like your son needs a break from some stressors, so I think hanging the Ice skating boots up mite help I hope it works out

Mumble.....I'll attempt to knock up some sort of essay for you if you promise to let me borrow him for 5 mins when you get him ...pppplllleaseeeeeeeeee <'> My hubbys getting pretty grumpy with me - esp tonight as I've been hiding behind a book, my t.shirt...anything whilt we waited for the result...to top it all DS came in the room as we were watching the last minutes of the first round. He was sitting on my lap when lee got thru to the final and my joy was obvious J said'you like him mum don't you?' I said 'emmm, yeah...he's really good J then said' well why don't you marry him then?!' all in front of hubby ....he decided to go empty the dishwasher! Out of the mouths of babes

Oops ....J just has a bit of a phil mitchel look going on in one spot at the back where I slightly misjudged Luckily he doesn't yet have any use liking for mirrors:) Now blow drying......I'm actually a dab hand at that

And he's gorgeous! and he won!!!!!!!!! - yeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy:)

Hi - how about a 'mini' fridge also?, you can get them for less than 20 pounds on ebay, and I've just checked argos for you and they a pink one for �20.00! - although don't know if u fancy pink? - theres also a small siver one on there for 15 pounds which you could easily fit basic size butter/cheese and bit of veg in If you have a mini micro and mini fridge in your room, we'll all be knocking you up a menu in no time

Hiya, After reading some of the responses to my haircuts from hell and some of other peoples threads I thought I'd bite the bullet and give J the choice today of going to the barbers or letting mummy have a go with the new clippers - pointing out that he could watch tv at the same time! He happily agreed saying he'd play with his digimons while I did it.....he did ask though if I could do his 'normal' and then make daddy no'2's 'bald' Of course I said I would and then he was laughing so much at the thought he had to hide his head in a blanket! haircut went well...mummy needs a bit more practice but unless you inspect it closely it looks great! Hurrah!!!!! - one happy household today!

Hi J's mum, and thanks for the advice. I am going to focus on the social interaction issues (using the last bunch of stunning play dates as examples ...That, and dislike of change, food issues (will for most part only eat 'soft' food or 1 particular brand of food - if it looks slightly diff or smells slightly diff he won't touch it), clothing and bedding must be soft - to cut a long story lots of what I believe are 'sensory' issues. The little 'whizzy' thing he does with his hands and upper body whenever he gets excited or is showing you stuff is going on more and more frequently now - it's hard to explain but like someone saying 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! and screwing their hands and eyes up - hopefully that makes some sort of sense He's extemely naive, and is already starting to get bullied at school - something which he doesn't really see - although he's clearly unhappy about it. He's also getting more and more tired from being at school at the moment...he had a paddy tonight whilst I was at work and lashed out at my hubby...he got sent to his room at 5.30pm and promptly put himself under a blanket, grabbed one of his cuddly toys and went to sleep. I had trouble waking him up at 7.30pm, and still needed to coax him out of his bad mood. But knew if I didn't he would be waking us up at 12pm saying he was hungrey etc. Was like a diff child by 8.30pm - and spent 2 hours watching digimon videos and playing with digimon soft toys. He's now asleep again already....but given that we've had trouble at school this week with him being hurt, plus the weathers been warm etc I guess its all got to him. It's so hard being in this stage..I'm really worried about year 3 and how he's going to get on with only having older children above him in school...I guess we're all like a bunch of mummy and daddy tigers when it comes to our kids - I'm in awe of some of you guys and you're all helping me to keep focused on this - thanks <'>

No problem Brooke - I have the opposite problem in that school see no issue with J's 'little eccentricities' as they call them and imply I don't know what I'm talking about and that J is still young and will grow out of it! Probably the reason why I'm worried about the appts etc, cos I've read loads of these threads and it does seem to help if you have the school backing you up. My son absolutely believes in school rules and hence they see a 'model' pupil and therefore the rest is of no consequence to them at the mo. This is despite them knowing that I had to move him from his first primary school as he absolutely freaked out every morning and would run off or be handed over kicking and screaming and absolutely sobbing his heart out - this went on for 8 weeks. At the time I just thought it was the change from nursery to 'big' school, then I thought maybe he just could not handle the size of the class and general environment. he's at much smaller school now with classes half the size and he settled in within 1 week! (when he started school I didn't know anything about ASD's - just knew he was showing some 'autistic' traits.

Hiya - It's a child psychiatrist, so hopefully it's a good starting point. I've been keeping a sporadic diary for last couple of months so will be taking that with me

Hiya, I went to our GP with a list of what I thought to be 'different' behaviours, I also had a report from the school learning support unit that was done when he was 5.7 yrs old and that outlined the differences between his verbal and visual perception etc, IQ, reading difficulties etc. J is now 7.8 yrs old Do you think I'm not seeing the right person? Cheers Lisa

Hi....just need some re-assurance pls:) I've got my appt through now for initial appt with a 'specialist' re J and suspected aspergers.. I've looked the doc up and she is a child psych working with Cams team...I just wanted to know what you guys thought of this? - is she the right starting point? - What should I be 'aware' of for the intial appt?? Thanks in advance

Hiya - I know exactly how you feel!!....many many times we have got as far as opening the door to the barbers only for J to leg it back down the road! The last haircut it took me nearly an hour to get him in there and then he sat and scowled like mad at the hairdresser What I do now (he's 7.5) is I try to not let it bother me too much that his hairs got a little out of shape...but when I do think he needs a haircut I bide my time over a few weeks and if we seem to have a spare hour where he's happy, not over tired etc, then I'll soooooo casually mention we need to get it cut and remind him the barbers is near the shop where we keep buying little cuddly dogs - I know it's bribery, but i'll just count it as pokcte money for that week. I also never have the clippers as he freaks so we make do with just a scissor trim each time and absolutely no gel! But I have definately noticed if I just pick a moment when he's happy and content...and just say comon then in 15 mins we better pop down and get that cut, he' s much better than when I pre-warn him the day before or the morning etc Hope that helps - you have my sympathy!

Hi, I posted a bit in another thread that someone else had started the other day about bullying and how my son was having a lot of difficulty telling apart 'playing' and 'bullying' - to the point where he currently has tons of bruises etc. The schools been told and the class teacher and head of year said they would keep the other boy awat from him and remind J again that he needs to tell them if they don't see it happening. Unfortunately with J school rules RULE! He will not tell , cos he perceives it as telling tales which they have been told not to do by the school (he's in year 2) Today he came out of school and it was a day for daddy no.1 to pick him up (my ex), and he told his dad that in the class in front of everyone this boy had slammed J's head on the desk!...needless to say dad went storming into school to seek out the teachers. he told them in no uncertain terms that they need to sort this out, he also once again reminded J that we will not tell him off if he does hit this boy back the once. Although I know thats not strictly the answer but J won't do that either cos thats against school rules! - even though we've both told him (and daddy no.2) that none of us will tell him off he refuses. So...I'm kinda glad dad no.1 went storming in today cos I know he won't have minced his words and this has been going on for at least 5 weeks that we know about. But....any suggestions anyone? - he won't tell teachers when it happens and he won't hit back so how to stop it?? Any ideas welcome pls - I don't want my kid to be thumping anyone, but I am worried at some point his passiveness mite change and he mite properly lose his temper. Personally I'm hoping the kid in question gets covered in grazes that sting like hell when he gets in abath !

Thanks Sally for that reply....At the moment J is undiagnosed and I'm right at the start of that process...GP agreed a referral was warranted and I have 1st appt at end of June. I'm thinking the same that he may prefer just hanging out with the younger girl rather than the boy and that all 3 in one go (as mich as he wanted to) seemed to freak him out a little. Since that Friday he has not asked to go and call for them and I'm unsure at the moment whether to leave it and not mention to him and wait for him to instigate or to try and set something up with the youngest (if they still want to You may have seen the thread I started last night....we just had the party departure most definately not from heaven, so he may be a bit 'socialed' out at the mo!

hi, Had the day from hell at work and then after school today J had a party to go to - never great when it's on a school day anyway, but feel mean when rest of the class is going so.....J has a 'history' of being really difficult at 'leaving' places where he's been having fun. Anywhere really....His nans, the playground etc, but partys are the absolute worst to the point now where I dread having to pick him/leave with him. Today I left him at the party and on the way we had a chat about behaviour and how it would be really nice if for once he could just leave with me when I say it's time togo...esp as last time we were at a party for this friend j was really really hyper at the end, wouldn't leave and was downright cheeky/rude to the dad! - I was motified then and threatended him with all sorts if he didn't go up to him at school the next day and apologise for his behaviour. So with that in mind we had a chat, I said it would be really nice to leave properly, with him saying thanks for having me ands off we go peacefully to the car. NO SUCH LUCK at all!"! Despite me saying when I got there 'okay 10 more mins then we have to leave, and pointing out that everyone was starting to go, he just kept running off, and running off. He got bright beetroot in the face and in the end I had to grab him by the wrist...tell him that I was quite willing to embarass him by hauling him to the car if needbe...and he did not give a monkeys. I had no choice in the end but to haul him to the car...he didn't say bye to his friends or the parents and then kicked the hell out of the inside of my car when he got it in. Then trashed the lounge when he got home. Managed to persuade him to get in the bath for a cool down...then he told me y he was so grumpy/angry...he said ' I was waiting for them to out the bouncy castle up and no one did, and u made me come home!'...I said 'there was no bouncy castle, who told you there was going to be?' he said 'the van outside in the road said 'castles'!!....ahhh I said That was actually the name of a garage that had come to fix a car....but in his head it meant a castle was being delivered!! - blimey...can it get more tricky! - he also as usual refused to eat anything at the party, and he didn't calm down enough to eat until 8.45 so he's gonna be one tired grumpy thing tomorrow too!! - and at this rate so am i Do your kids have this amount of trouble when activities etc are coming to an end? - cos even with pre-warnings and countdowns etc he just can't seem to help flying into a paddy

Hi....my son is 7.5 and has also been asking lots of questions about dying/when/how etc for probably the last couple of years on and off. I've been as truthful as I think he can understand without upsetting him...ie..sometimes people's bodys just get worn out - usually when they are 'really' old - so he needn't worry about himself. He did then start asking what age are you when u die and how do you die etc. I now use humour with him and pretend to get all indignant if he seems to be worrying about either me or my mum popping our clogs....I'll say ' you have no chance whatsoever of getting rid of either of us!' - ' you are unfortunately stuck with both of us' 'and now I'm going to try and pinch your bum I think because death is such an illogical thing, they struggle to understand why it happens/and when it happens - as we all do really, but does seem to be more difficult for our kids to come to grips with. I'm actually worried at moment as my mum is pretty poorly with heart problems and the two of them are as thick as theives - he even knows where she stashs the spare cash and he won't tell me So I'm dreading it if I have to run through this for real while he is still so young.

definately the rising in tone and loudness variety of 'summoning' If I don't hear him he starts literally screaming so when I do hear him I think something awfuls happened and the biggest emergency is likely that he can't find one of his 'aliens' !! and sometimes is to ask me to 'pass' him one of the flippin 'aliens'! - cos he can't be bothered to get up from comfy sofa! - god help me he's only 7 and half at mo!

'Summon'......that sums it up nicely , I'm so glad thats not just me. Sometimes I think I'm gonna explode if I hear the word 'mum' one more time! - And sometimes I do explode!....thing is sometimes I say 'Blo**y and then sprog promptly reminds me I mustn't say that , then threatens to tell my mum or my hubby that i did! usually that distracts us both...but I have blown my top sometimes, I think we all have, it's really very wearing, and sometime shard to stay positive but u definately gotta try. And they all look so cute when they finally fall asleep - mine had to have a shoebox bed for the digimon tonite and he had to tell them off when they still werren't asleep

Hi Mumble, I'm really sorry people are making this so difficult for you...it's a shame you can't threaten them with all of us paying them a visit On a more serious note...reading between the lines are you sure that the disability officer has actually spoken with the halls of residence manager? - from you getting that note today, so soon after your chat with the disability officer it looks to me like they may not have spoken to each other. They can't possibly be allowed to just 'throw' you out, and you must try and hold on to that thought - though I know it must be hard. You have every right to stay just where you are and continue with the studies you enjoy so much. I have put my thinking cap on and will think of every board/body known to university mankind that either you or one of us can write to on your behalf. You're not on your own, please keep your chin up...and I'm sure someone on here will find the right solution Take care Lisa