julie-2

Thanks for the suggestion Merry, will mention this to Sian and see what she thinks

Hi Hope everyone is well, I have'nt posted for a while, but would be grateful for any ideas on what to buy my daughter for her 13th birthday in a couple of weeks. Sian has autistic spectrum disorder and epilepsy, and has a thing about ponies (the my little ponie kind) it seems all she wants to do is remove the hair and head and just hold the body part of the pony. Other than keep buying these, I would really like to buy something that is more educational for her, as she is quite a bright girl, and is very verbal. I have looked on ebay under toys for autistic children but there is nothing really suitable. julie

Many thanks for your replies. Justine1:- I have talked to my daughter's school about the smearing, and it seems she does not have the problem at school, although she has wet herself a number of times as became stressed about going for a pooh. The boy she becomes stressed about does not talk, and tends to just lash out at her, this is upsetting her and she comes home saying she doesnt want to go to school. Butterfly73:- My daughter Sian always seems to drink plenty of fluids, east lots of fruit and veg, but she does have a tendency to not empty her bowels all at once, so this means she's using the toilet for a pooh 3/4 times daily. I just dont understand why she has to use the toilet upstairs before going to bed, and will only use the toilet downstairs during the day. Chris54:- I dont see my daughter itching around the back end area, just that when she uses the toilet she holds back for as long as she can which obviously is going to cause pain, and then she will become agitated and stressed. I suppose I will just have to wait to hear back from SCAN to get some answers I am waiting to hear back from Barnet SCAN who deal with these kind of issues with autism and smearing.

Hello Thanks for the reply, never thought about anything like worms, will have to try and check her poo nex time, although going to be difficult as she's 11years old, and wont let me anywhere near the toilet when she's using it.

Hi I have'nt posted for some time but still take a look through some of the threads for advice which are always very helpful. I have been having trouble since last September when my 11yr old daughter started the new term with a group of different children at the special school she attends. Since being in the new class she has come home quite often complaining that a certain boy is hurting her and she frightened of him. I have spoken to the school about this, they say he's new to the school and needs time settling in etc. She has also been wetting herself occassionally at school which she has never done before. The smearing started with her using the toilet upstairs before going to bed. She would use the downstairs toilet throughout the day downstairs, without smearing, but would insist on using the one upstairs before bed. She normally would smear the towels, mat, walls, and anything left in the bathroom. What really concerns me though is that I have found the end of toothbrushes, hairbrushes and other things soiled with poo where I presume she has tried to put them up her bottom. The reason I say this is because I found a toothbrush with poo and some blood on it and heard her saying it wont come out it wont come out. She does have major issues when using the toilet for a poo anyway and has done since the age of 4. She tends to get very worked up and aggressive and will punch her head, throw things and become violent. It is very hard trying to keep her calm when she becomes like this, I try to stay calm myself and reassure her, and this does take time but normally works. I have informed the GP and the school about this and they have said they dont have any smearing at school. I am now waiting for a referral to Barnet Scan where they can apparently help with issues like this. Not sure how long I am going to wait as they have a waiting list. In the meantime I have removed everything from the bathroom in order for her not to be able to hurt herself. Has anyone been through similar? Is this normal behaviour for autistic children? Advice much appreciated. Julie

Hello If you go to the ebay website and type in austim t-shirts, it should bring up lots of different kinds of tops with different autism logos, hope this helps. Julie

Hello All I would like to add that my 9yr old daughter had the sf vaccination at school at the end of November. All parents were given the choice by signing a letter on whether they wanted their child to have the vaccine or not. My daughter attends a special needs school, and a number of the children there also have health issues, alongside autism. I must admit I was unsure whether to let my child have the vaccine at first, so took the advice of the gp and the consultant for her epilepsy, who both agreed it would be better that she have the vaccine. Sian was only given the first dose in November and was supposed to have a further dose 2 weeks later, for some reason this was no longer necessary, as a letter was sent home to parents from the school nurse, stating this. After about one week of her having the sf vaccination sian did come down with a temperature and was'nt very well, she also had a breakthough seizure as her temperature was very high, but I suppose this was no different from her having the normal cough and cold virus with a temperature, I just gave her the usual calpol and nurofen and lots to drink and after about a week, she was fine again. So I suppose all I can really say is at the end of the day its your decision, you can only do what you feel is best for your children. Take care Julie

Hello Voted for Cameron and Stuart again today. Dont know what happened to Sian's picture when it just disappeared a couple of days ago. Anyway hope to catcvh up with some votes! Julie

Sian is now back on the site if you would like to vote for her she's on page 8 at present. Thaks Julie

hi, just to let you know in case you were wanting to vote for Sian, her picture has been either moved or deleted, as I cannot seem to find it on the site. I Tried sending an email to them which was returned stating mailer daemon?then and tried resending the picture, but have still not heard anything back as yet. julie

Thank you something differ for voting for Both Sian and Stuart, we need lots more votes!

Hi maggzmay, Thanks so mych for putting the link up for me. Julie

Hi Sian was on page 3 of the newest entries the last time I looked.

Hi Maggzymay, Yes Sian is now up on the website, I have also voted for your son Stuart. Can you tell me how I can post her pic from the kinder website to here also please. Thanks Julie

Hi maggzymay what a good idea, I totally agree that more children with special needs should be worthy of being able to be the face of a new product. I have just posted my daughter Sian's picture. Julie-2 Not sure if this link will work that I have posted. http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-sn...98020_555023020

Hi Smiley Thanks for your reply. When the police arrested my son they suggested he be put on some kind of anger manger therapy, I have heard nothing back about this as yet neither has my son. I have attended a number of sessions with my son where we have discussed his ocd and anger problems, he always just comes out with the same story of me nagging him too much, and touching his belongings, ie tidying up his room etc, this would really get him angry and abusive, I did try to not touch his things, and just leave him to do them, but he would'nt so in the end I did. He is taking fluoxetine 40mg a day thiks is double the dose as he only used to take one 20mg tab a day, but since this last episode the doctor at camhs increased this. My 8yr old daughter has seen and heard a lot of this behaviour at home, and is getting more aggressive also, she has kicked me threw things at me, pinched and punched me, and also swear terribly. Not sure if this is part of her asd or what she has seen at home. Can I just say Smiley I am sorry to hear about your nan, please try not to feel too down, as in time it will get less painful for you and your family, time is a great healer. julie <'>

hello Cat Both myself and Camhs are not aware of any other underlying issues with my son, he has been seeing this particular doctor at camhs for the last few years, she also sees my daughter for reviews every so often too. I have questioned my son on quite a few occasions about whether he is taking drugs, the doctor also asked him this, he has always denied this. He has told me he has been smoking, and I believe he has smoked weed also on a few occasions as I have found roll up papers, and little plastic containers with a weed sign on them. I have also seen his eyes looking sore and weary looking, not sure if this is a sign of smoking weed or something else. He asked me to get him a blood test if I didnt believe him. But as he knows most of my time is taken up with my daughter's issues and these can be very demanding. His dad has taken him to the last appointment with camhs and he has another appt the end of this month. All camhs have suggested is that he double his medication in the evenings, but even though they have suggested this I still dont know whether he is sticking to taking it everyday, as he complained last time he took it and said it did nothing for him, and made him tired and sick all the time, this is when I found he had been hiding tablets behind the microwave, and spitting the out in the garden. He is sitting his GCSE's this week and is due to leave school at the end of June, with the plan of starting college to do a plumbing course in Sept. Just hope and pray that he had the sense to stay in control and not mess it all up for himself. This could hopefully be a turning point in his life once he starts college. thanks again Cat

Hi Cat Thanks for your reply, and hugs, definitely need them. I have spoken to CAMHS in the past about whether they think OCD can display aggressive behaviour or not, they seemed to think it can in some people. I also had concerns at one point that my son might be taking drugs as his temperament was very errratic, one minute he could be ok with me the next I was walking on egg shells again, worried about his temper. I'm not trying to make excuses for him but he's also has to put up with a lot over the years with seeing myself and my ex husband always arguing, and not getting on, and then we had the diagnosis for my daughter of asd and epilepsy nearly 5 years ago. A lot of my time is spent dealing with her needs, So I can understand my son maybe feeling pushed out at times and in need of some time for just the two of us to spend together. I have tried on a couple of occassions whenever there is a half term holiday and my daughter is at playscheme, to spend time taking my son out for lunch or shopping, so we do get that time to spend together. He does appreciate this as we did this last week and it was nice to see him smile and happy, but not sure if this was the medication he's taking. I sat here crying yesterday over the first message I posted, as it seems I feel I am going round in circles, without any solutions to any of this, and I feel very alone with no support. Even my family members are not very supportive as they just seem to think I should just have my son out of the house and let his dad deal with him now, the same applies to my daughter they also have no understanding of her needs, and just put her difficulties down to being naughty and disobedient. Julie

Hello all I have not posted for some time now, but do contine to read with great interest some of the topics that are posted. I am not sure whether posting here about my son's ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder), is ok as its normally my 8yr old daughter with asd and epilepsy that I post about. But as I have received some very good advice from members on this site in the past, I thought maybe someone maybe able to offer some helpful advice again. My son was diagnosed at 4.5 with OCD and had been seeing CAMHS for sometime, they dealt with his OCD by having my son attend weekly sessions where they talked through his anxiety's etc. Anyway when he reached his teens the OCD seemed to get worse again, and especially in the last year or so he has become verbally abusive and physically agressive towards myself and his father. He has thrown things at me if I have so much as dared to put his clothes away, or closed a window in his room, part of the OCD apparently he has to be in control of things and do these things for himself. In the last month, things got so out of control at home that I had to call the police as I was terrified he was going to stab me with a knife after taking it out the drawer and threatening to hurt me with it. He was very angry and abusive one minute, crying the next minute saying he would never hurt me, then his face seemed to change and he seemed to be grinning at me, this totally freaked me out, I ran next door and called the police from the neighbour's house and all the time I was waiting in there my 8yr old was still in the house, my neighbour's husband knocked the back door and my son let my daughter out to come next door with me. The police came took a statement from me and then arrested my son and he was kept overnight in a police cell. He was very apologetic to me by sending text messages saying how sorry he was. I feel absolutely devastated that it had to come to me calling the police but felt I had no choice. He is now staying with his dad elsewhere although we still see one another occasionally but only when his dad is there. I miss my son, and feel totally useless as a mother, but I dont feel I can trust him anymore, I am afraid of him and his threats and abuse, but on the other hand I still feel he needs help to overcome his problems. CAMHS are seeing him again and he has started to take his Fluoxetine again, as this stopped some months ago. I am also having his dad ask me how long he is likely to have to stay with him. I cannot answer this as I really dont know. On one hand I would like him to come back home, but on the other hand I am afraid for myself and my daughter. My dauughter has also suffered by seeing all of the abuse towards me and the foul language, because she is copying a lot of his behaviour, and the swearing with her has now got to the stage where the school have had a meeting to discuss another placement for her as she is constantly removed from the class because of the swearing and aggression. I sometimes feel I have no more energy left to deal with all this, as I have no family support as they live in wales, there dad's family are in Turkey, and the children's father and I are divorced but we tried to make it work as a family after I got the diagnosis for my daughter 4 years ago, but he also works shift work and is hardly around for either of the children. Julie

Hi all, Hope your all keeping well. How do I explain to my 8yr old daughter Sian who has asd, about our beloved pet dog sooty being run over by a car on monday night. The dog was fantastic with Sian and my teenage son who also has anger issues and other problems. The dog also seemed to sense Sian's difficulties, and was so gentle and affectionate towards Sian, she would even wait by the window every afternoon for the school bus to drop Sian off. The dog was also like a therapy for Sian, and could also make her laugh. We only had her a year she was still a very young labrador and so full of life, and energy, its totally devastated all of us a family, and we are all trying to come to terms with it still. I am still not sure whether it would be the right thing to get another dog straight away or not, would be good to hear of anyone whose lost their family pet, and and has a child with special needs, and how you explained the situation to them. And if anyone knows of someone that has a labrador puppy for sale in the london area please let me know. julie

Hi Chris54, You mentioned in your reply that you had also moved to Lincs, is it possible to ask what school your child attends. If you cannot post the name on here, is it possible to pm me with any details, much appreciated. Julie

Thanks JsMum for the link, and helpful advice.

hello all thanks again to all your positive replies. After going up to Lincs on Thursday and looking at the house inside, and visiting the school we thought would be suitable for my daughter, things have gone pear shaped. I really thought everything was going to work out ok, but after visiting the school with my daughter an asd school supposedly, the head teacher seemed to think she would not be suitable for the school, and after me looking around I felt the same, it looked just like an ordinary primary school, the kids seemed very well behaved, and were all sitting nicely in class doing their work. Where my daughter attends a resource unit in London its nothing like that, the kids seem to just be able to have a lot more scope to move from class to class etc, and someone is always either getting told off or having time out. Anyway I had set my hopes on this school, and the head of the school gave me a list of other schools I could try, we visited two other schools, but these were for more severe learning difficulties and were also not suitable either. After returning home I tried looking up other possible schools, and found there was a school with a language unit attached to it, which is very similar to what she's in at the moment. I contacted them but they could not tell me whether there would be any places coming up, and to ring the Lincs council education dept, and see what they could suggest. I also rang another school who asked me if I could come and visit them next week, even though there were no places available until next September, this was a school for moderate learning difficulties, for kids from 5-16, so I am hoping that may also be a possibility. After being told that my daughter would not be able to attend the school we thought would be our first choice, I felt under pressure, and backed out of the offer for the house, now I am kicking myself, because the school for moderate learning difficulties said that I should just apply for their school anyway,even though there's no places until September, if I had taken the house and she had no school, then they would have had to consider a place for her. I feel absolutely gutted and have cried today, I feel that I may not get another chance like this for a while, even though they have said I can still bid, who knows how long it will be before the next suitable house comes along. Anyway thank you all for your replies. Julie

Hello again all, hope your all well. I have asked for help with regard to my 8yr old daughter in the past who has asd and epilepsy, and attends a resource unit attached to a mainstream school, and you have all been reallly helpful. I am at present in a 2 bed council house and have been waiting for a 3 bed since my 8yr old daughter was born, but with no joy atall, thats why I applied to Lincs council, as my sister lived there. The house is a 3 bed housing association house in Lincs nearer to my sister, well about 20 mins away from where the house is located. Initially I have wanted this move for ages now, but now its come about, I am all over the place, uncertain in so many ways about whether I would be doing the right thing by moving my son out of schools, at such a crucial time. Also moving from a city life to a country style lifestyle, I think I could adapt to ok, its my son i'm worried about, as he always seems to want everything on the doorstep and to hand. We have also had some trouble over the last few months with gangs, and my son has been attacked, and threatened 3 times recently, with knives. I suppose in a way this could'nt have come at a better time for us , after what happened with my son and everything, but there dad has also said that he will be staying in London as his work is there, and he will not be coming with us if we move, (long story that one). My son also sees a doctor at CAMHS for anger isssues and takes medication to help this, so I am also really worried that if he does start getting violent towards me at home again, or gets in with a bad crowd again, then I will have no-one to turn to what with being in a new town and everything, there dad has even said not to phone him if my son starts creating problems for me again, you can definitely tell he's against us going. Anyway if anyone has been through similar would be great to hear some positive outcomes. Thanks again Julie

Hello again, thanks very much for all your replies so far, some good avice given, shall mention to the school tomorrow the one about maybe using some kind of visual cards, or social stories to help her at school. Any more ideas much appreciated, as I will sugest them at school tomorrow. thanks again