Selkie

I can sympathise a lot with this, my son is taunted a lot by other children, and often comes home in tears. For years people told me he needed to toughen up & he was a wimp & I was too soft on him etc. Now I know there is actually a reason for it, but it doesn't stop the bullying, and I never know quite how to handle it. Do you know the parents of these other children & do you get on with them? Having lived on a Scottish island for many years, I know what the communities can be like, I just wondered if it would be worth having a word with the parents? I doubt if you'll get to the situation where they play happily together - that's a bit too 'perfect world'(!) - but maybe the parents (if they are understanding) could help, they may not even know what their kids are like to others! Like wishingwell says, don't let them spoil his summer! The adventure week sounds brilliant, can I send my son up? Hugs to you both <'>

Thanks everyone Sarah - I have started seeing someone new, who has been brilliant with my son. He has tried helping with the frustration issue, trying all the things I've tried (with the exception of shouting at him & sending him to his room!), and also trying to help with whatever my son is struggling with (that's one I've also tried but forgot to put in my original post!), all to no avail In general I feel he has coped remarkably well, given his issues, so I suppose something like this is quite understandable. The summer holidays are coming up though, and I am dreading it!

I can't help with how to behave with lower funcioning kids, sorry, but I just wanted to say that it seems to me that you did what you thought was best, and in the circumstances I think I would have done exactly the same! Hindsight may be wonderful, but it's pretty useless in practice

Thanks Mel I have some help, but not a lot - I don't have any family or many friends round here. But I am, hopefully, going to get some counselling after being referred by my doctor, I also get some support through the outreach workers from the refuge It's my son that is keeping me going ATM, so I probably worry about him even more than I would normally!

another newbie here too, just saying hello to you shortcake & everyone, and mine's a JD & Coke!

Just to say hello to you all - I posted in Introductions, but thought I'd say hello here too I have a 9yo son with AS & dyspraxia and we have been through quite an upheaval in our lives recently, which included living in a women's refuge for a couple of months. As I'm sure you can imagine he has found it very hard to cope - his routines changed dramatically several times Life has stabilised somewhat now, but obviously it is going to take a long time for him to adjust properly. One thing that I have particularly noticed is that he has started getting frustrated a LOT more easily than before - he always did get very frustrated with things he couldn't do, but now if he can't do something the first time (e.g. computer game, school work etc.) he starts shouting & getting angry. I have tried different approaches to it: I've consoled him & explained he can't always do things first time & he needs to practise/keep trying I've suggested he goes and does something else and comes back to it whan he has calmed down I've tried distracting him with some other task I have tried ignoring him (not easy in a small flat!) I have also (shame on me) lost my temper, shouted at him & sent him to his room in a BIG sulk. Unfortunately, the one that seems to work best for me is the last one, but I know it's not best for him because he needs to learn how to cope with frustration. The other approaches don't have any effect whatsoever, he just carries on shouting. He always has been easily frustrated, but never to this extent. I think part of it may stem from being in the refuge, as the turnover of families was, by the very nature of these places, quite high. His problems with making friends & interacting with other kids became very obvious to both himself and others. The usual pattern - making friends, them realising he is 'different', teasing him & eventually ostracising him because of his behaviour - was repeated many times in a short space of time. I think that this made him more aware of his 'problems' (I hate that word!) and he became frustrated at himself. Throughout our time there, I did manage to keep him at his school (though it involved a very long drive every day!) simply because I knew he needed some continuity & the last thing he needed was to try to fit in at a new school as well! I'm sure it's all a lot more complicated than that, but I am finding it very hard coping with him just now. To be honest I'm finding it hard coping with everything that has happened, but I feel I'm letting my son down every time I end up shouting at him, and I think I need a different strategy to cope with this behaviour. Any ideas? He is a great kid in so many ways and it hurts to see him like this.

My 9yo AS son loves riding, it is one of the few things he has always enjoyed doing. I thought it maybe had something to do with me because I have always loved riding &, until very recently, had my own horse & so he spent a lot of time around horses. But I wonder if it has more to do with the bond with an animal? I am sure it has helped him because he has learnt he must co-operate with the horse and it is about teamwork Unfortunately he doesn't get to ride as much now, but when he does he has a one track mind - jumping! It's great to see him enjoying something so much

Hello I never know quite what to say with these introduction things, I feel like I'm back at school standing up in front of the class & turning into a nervous wreck again! But here goes... I am mum to a 9yo son who although the specialist has said he probably has AS she was reluctant to 'label' him as he seemed to be getting on 'ok' at school - something his teacher and I don't particularly agree with! He also has dyspraxia and is on the waiting list for help from the local OT dept. He seems to have one of the good teachers - it was actually his teacher who picked up on all the symptoms at the beginning of the school year & suggested he may have AS & pushed for testing through the school (I was getting nowhere!). We will be very sad to say good bye to this teacher at the end of the year in a few weeks I guess I've come here to be able to talk to people who know what it's like (!) share problems & suggestions and also to try to figure out which areas of his behaviour are due to AS & which are just what all kids are like! And also just to natter