jools

Thank you , that is helpful Yes, his voice also changes to that of one younger

My 17 yr old son is going through a very bad period with a lot of stress. It is something that is affecting the whole family. As a result he is very isolated. he is at home day in, day out. He is not mixing with his peers. I have noticed that his autistic traits are much more prominent, voice levels much higher, regressing..... is this fairly normal under periods of stress?

in our school we would never dream of giving a parent a group of special needs children or indeed a group of any children who need more supervision, and that is usually the very active and inattentive ones. parents usually get their own child with a few other 'good' children leaving the rest to the staff, which is how i think it should be

well we are almost singing from the same hymn sheet! today he has come home asking to go the next village on friday (teacher training day). however this isn't possible because i need to know exactly where he is (home with his sister!) while i'm at work, and on the afternoon when i get in i'm getting ready to go away for the weekend. his dad will be in early afternoon but we also have a younger one so it just isn't possible for him to do this on friday. plus, if i'm honest, i don't want him doing this while i'm not here! the next thing was that everyone is going ice skating on saturday. ok i said so long as you are happy to go knowing you can't skate. (i am happy for him to go) then he says he can't cos he can't tie shoe laces and he doesn't feel happy asking a friend. so i have suggested his sister and her friend go along. she can sort his boots out for him then just be there if he needs her. they are both happy about this so he is getting his freedom even if it is restricted at this stage!! he has also suggested to his friends going to the cinema on monday as it is 1/2 term. i will have 2 spaces in the car so have said if 2 friends want to come back here they can. then if they do go out and wander (which is still under debate!) it will be in streets he is used to. thanks for listening to my rambling but this is the only place i think i can say this without people thinking i'm a paranoid mother.......i'm not.....honest.....lol

Hi, i haven't posted for ages so hope you don't mind me popping my head back in! G is now in y7, having started secondary school in Sept. so far so good!! support is in place and he has a very good senco, who i have a good relationship with too. he has settled into his new school better than anyone could have imagined he has made new friends and is on to his second girlfriend lol he is now asking to go out more, which is great, and whilst i have tried to limit this to organised things such as the cinema so i know where he is, and that i will be picking him up he now wants to venture further. his 'girlfriend' and some other new friends live in the next village. i would have to take him over and pick him up but i am resisting i have all these reasons why he shouldn't go..............i don't know these kids, or their families, i don't know what they will get up to or where they will go. i have no reason to think they will do anything they shouldn't i just need to know G is safe! on the other hand he really is happy. probably the happiest i have seen him. by not letting him go am i holding him back? his social skills can still leave a lot to be desired (or so i think) but he appears to be popular, a view backed up by the school. please give me some advice and tell me your experiences before my head explodes

i'm going on a parents conference today with the head of education for the lea, head of disabililty team and head of social services. think there are others too but i forget who! apparantly the lea have a pot on money to spend on SEN and under the new 'every child matters' cannot spend it without consultling parents. this is the first meeting of its kind in this area and although changes will never happen over night i think its sooo important to try. so wish me luck for today!

well the meeting went well in that he is now getting his 10hrs support! some of the support is coming from an additional teacher being with him rather than a teaching assistant due to staff shortages but i don't care. he needs support from someone and if that has to be a teacher then so be it. i'm sure my name will be mud but i don't care about that either.....i've learnt to grow thick skin!!

i had a phone call last night from the senco. head teacher has passed letter to her. she has asked me to go in today to discuss his new provisional timetable and iep targets. will let you know what happens!

i rang parent partnership who suggested sending letter into school with a date of next friday, which i did. i didn't send copy to lea but if no reply then i will aswell as asking school for a copy of complaints procedure. thanks for the advice. you are all fab!

I am writing a letter to the head teacher asking when my sons statemented hours will be fully implemented. so far only 8 of the 10 hrs are being provided. i will be taking the letter in tomorrow and want to put a date on by which i want a reply. i was going to give 2 weeks. do you think this is too much or about right?

ok, actual wording........ '.....the LA will provide funding equivalent to 10hrs per week of TA time which the school can use flexibly in conjunction with other devolved and school based resources to meet his needs. these resources can be delivered in a variety of ways such as small group, individualised support etc, so that teh actual time when support is available in his class may well be greater than the level indicated above.' at the moment he gets TA time for 8 hrs a week. she is there to support him but he has told me of at least one occasion when she took out another child who was struggling. he said he was fine but thats not really the point. i will ring the LA tomorrow.

my son started secondary school in sept. his statement is for 10hrs support but so far he is only receiving 8hrs. when i asked the school again this week when he would get his 10hrs i was told that due to staff shortage they didn't know. but i was then told that his TA and senco meet every day to discuss him so that counts within the 10 hrs. how much of his 10 hrs, if any, should be used for time like this? personally, as he only has 10hrs i want it all to go on supporting him in class

i didn't get copies of th reports but they have been put in his school file. am i entitled to ask for a copy? (still stewing on it.....lol)

oh and!!!!!! (can you tell i'm stewing over this) in the TA report she made a comment that he was obviously used to getting his own way excuse me!! i don't flippin think so but without clear boundaries he is no mind reader!

i asked today if the TA had even seen his statement and was told yes. i have asked that she be shown it again along with the notes i sent in. i've also offered to send in my notes (essay?) from the assessment process which detail more than everything! senco suggested another meeting in 4 weeks. the detentions, telling offs and tie problem have all been a problem with the same teacher who is the head of year 7. if she can't understand him then he is off to a bad start. he already dislikes her and refuses to go to her for anything i am trying to be patient and he is supported at home but you have hit nail on the head. he is desperate to fit in and needs support. as for the tie, well what can i say. the way i feel tonight i could gladly wrap it around someones neck i'm ringin the senco about it on monday to explain i don't intend to be doing his tie for him. for his own independance he needs to do it even if it isn't perfect. as you say...a bit of understanding would go a long way!

G started secondary school on 2nd sept and is loving it. he can't wait to get there however (isn't there always a however?...lol) he has had 2 lunch time detentions. one for talking and the other for fighting over a chair. his side of story is that he was sat on it. girl wanted it. he wouldn't give it up. she pulled. he let go. it hit her. she then slapped him. both in detention. i had a pre arranged meeting with the senco today. this is my first with her since he started. she is very approachable (which is a start) but dear oh dear! 2 reports were there for her to read to me. the first from his head of year who expressed her concern at his behaviour and said it was being monitored. but it didn't give any details. 2 page report from TA working with him for 7 hrs a week (not 10 as in statement??). she sits away from G so as not to make a big deal of things. (whats that all about. he would never willingly ask for help) she is shocked at his behaviour. he talks to others when he should be working (his attention is very poor if he is not engaged. TA support needs to be used to keep him on task) his lack of attention is appalling (add aswell as asd!) she gave an example of his cheeky behaviour......... TA: 'would you like to come and look at this onion skin under the microscope?' G: 'Naaaaah' erm hellllooooooo! you asked him if he wanted to do it and he didn't. so he told you so. LOL the whole report was negative. nothing positive to say. infact it read as though she can't stand him and he is the worst child she has ever had! he also got a poor uniform stamp today because his tie was too wide. aaaaggghhhhhhh! he only learned to tie it 4 weeks ago (no mean feat i can tell you). he is trying his best! i have spoken to him and asked his side. he admits he is talking but also says he is bored. when he is finished he has to sit and wait for everyone else and he is finding it nigh on impossible to do this. i feel so deflated. he is enjoying school but i think it might be for the wrong reasons! he isn't being challenged and therefore isn't really doing any work. socially he seems to be making 'friends' but i fear this isn't all its cracked up to be either. he is permantly covered in pen where he lets other kids draw on him and he seems to getting in with the wrong crowd already. he thinks its funny that his new friends don't work and always get detentions. i think he is almost waiting for his first after school detention so he can join the club!!

G is going to secondary school in September. So far the Senco seems nice and approachable but is unable to give me any info yet regarding his statemented hours (10) and how he will be supported when he gets there. She has agreed to a meeting with me in the first couple of weeks of term where i intend to ask for an SEN timetable. i know theings will be very different to primary school but already i have a concern but don't know what (if anything ) i can do about it. his statement is for 10 hours teaching assistant time. 1-1 is not specifically mentioned (and believe me i tried to get it written in) although at primary that is what happened. i know of another child with ASD (but no statement) who is also going up in september and have heard a whisper that they may be in the same class as it will be helpful with teaching assistant resources. now whilst i know this other child and have no objections to that other child i do object to the fact that i fought ###### hard for years to get his statement and don't want the money from his statement to be used on another child. i know that probably sounds petty but i feel as though its my fight that provided the money and therefore it should be used for my child! does anyone have any advice on how statemented hours and support are allocated in secondary and what i should be asking for when i meet with the senco in september?

G used to have an alphasmart and then last year was given a laptop. in both cases the school had to pay something, i think about �200 and the lea paid the rest. it will go to his secondary school with him in september. i think the school might be pulling a fast one because they don't want to cough up! would be interesting to see what your LEA say

thanks for the replies. it is just so frustrating. he appears quite ok at school and i just can't get through to them he is getting stressed. on top of transition he is going on a 4 night residential with y6 in 2 weeks time. his behaviour at home is awful. he is over sensitive to everything.....touch, noise.....you name it.....but you know what i'm talking about. then last night he wet the bed something he hasn't done for years. i will go and speak to the asd team on monday. i will get hubbie to speak to school........too many things going on from a professional point of view with jobs and i don't feel able to speak to the head about G at teh moment. thanks again

G is in year 6. he has an extra transition visit for this monday. his new secondary school rang me at 8am last monday to confirm the date and to mention the transition booklet the asd team had sent into his primary. i explained i didn't know anything about it, despite me working there. asked his teacher when i got there who said 'oh yeah. its around somewhere. its not really relevant though' i asked that i be shown it at break time. she avoided me all day until i caught her after school where she finally dug it out from bottom of table covered in junk and repeated that she didn't think it was relevant. i calmly explained that if the asd team think it is and so do i then we are the better judge! also said i would pick it up on friday after school after he had chance to fill in a few pages and bring it back on monday. soooo he came out of school without it last night and still claimed never to have seen it. went in to ask for it and was told he hadn't done any. they are too busy apparantly! couldn't keep my mouth shut and asked exactly what was so important, considering sats are over and they are not doing any maths, literacy or science. i watch them every day having extra play and see her in the staff room making cups of tea! aaggghhhhhh! he has 10 hours support and i can't believe they couldn't spend 15mins filling in some of the booklet. i can't wait for him to leave this school!

ok, i've found the qca guidelines which say that a prompter must only be used on a 1-1 basis. hubbie is going to school on monday at 8am and will sit and wait for the head teacher to see him don't think it will go smoothly though

G is sitting his sats this week. we were advised about a month ago that he would be sat in a seperate room with his TA. we and him are happy with this. it means he can read out his questions aloud and his answers. he is also entitled to extra time. this morning he tells us that one day he isn't getting his TA but someone to support him and there will also be another child with him on two days. i'm not happy. this other child has her own TA....so why isn't she being supported by her. how can G read out loud and say his answers out loud with someone else in the room? any advice please?

i'm a teaching assistant and use bed make the shape of b with your left hand by making the circle with your finger and thumb and keeping the rest of your fingers up for the stick. do the same with your right hand for d

so very sorry to hear of your loss. will keep you all in my thoughts. xxx

yes we had camhs go in and assess/observe G as part of his dx i can't praise camhs enough......for us if they weren't involved as much as they were i really don't think he would have his dx. from camhs we had a specialist teacher who came in to observe and even though the school told me he was an angel she saw what we hoped she would see.....a little boy who wasn't coping, wasn't on task and basically getting swallowed up by the whole school thing. after his first assess/observation she told me she could see traits of asd, add and tourettes....i could have kissed her (as daft as that sounds!) i would ask who it was from camhs that went in and when you should expect to see a report. you may also be able to talk to that person.