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Everything posted by bluefish

  1. bluefish

    Annual review

    Hi, I have not posted for ages! I have Ds annual review tomorrow.. I am a bit nervous as things are going well( due to his 15hrs )He still struggles at home due to his coping at school but things at school are going well. The education officer is not attending the review, am I right in what I have heard that this means the statement is rarely changed? I am very happy with his statement and it has been maintained after the last 2 reviews. My worry is that with the cuts they might try to reduce his statement hours. I find this a worry as the only reason he is doing well is due to his hours and being in a very very small school. I have heard that sometimes if things are going well they cut hours!! Which of course makes a mokery of the system as surley thats the reason for the statement in the first place.. Anyway.... thanks in advance for any replies
  2. Hi not posted for a while. I have a huge problem at the moment and have been suffering major panic attacks. I am terrified I am going to die! This in itself sounds daft, but I have real physical symptoms and and too terrified to visit gp incase they confirm my worst fears. I think it is almost 100% panic I dont know what would happen to ds if anything happened to me and I am scared.I also think I am going through a period of grief for ds as as he is almost 7 he seems more autistic by the day and the difference between him and his peers is huge which is new to me as I never really accepted just how different he is! I feel very teary and not sure who on earth I can talk to. I feel very stupid posting this but i am not sure anyone else would understand
  3. Thanks Tally, I thought that might be the case
  4. Hi I have just been given a game for ds about facial expressions and feelings It looks super( I have yet to try to play it with him) I would like to share this info and all about the game and who makes it etc but am not sure if this is ok can a mod let me know please, also if it not ok to post this info can i offer to share it via pms? thanks x
  5. Hi all I am a single parent and so want to get off benifits and work again, I am thinking 16 hours not full time. My major stumbling block is ds. I would love to take a position as a breakfast chef that has just come up, the hours are perfect 7am till 10am daily we are up way before that so it would be a breeze. My Mum would be happy to do the school run and in holidays commit to looking after ds.....my only problem is ds. No one else has ever been able to take him to school, and he became extremely distressed at the thought of Grandma taking him.....my worry is that things are going so well at school I dont want to create problems..... anyone got any experience of this situation? I want and need to work but as things in the past have been so awfull with ds not coping and now for over a year things have been calm I dont want to mess that up, It is important to me that ds continues to be happy at school as when he was not the behaviour at home was very distressing! I feel like I am stuck because ds really finds change hard even with visual prompts and I dont want him to go through the distress but also want to find and take a job! advice welcome
  6. Thank you so much! succsess it seems has a price as we have had a bit of a poo fest tonight! limited to pjs and bathroom so its not all bad......and to be fair seems like a small price to pay for such fantastic progress! Note to self get marrigold gloves!
  7. Hi all, Just had to share this as i feel like I have won the lottery! Ds went on a school trip today and wore his own clothes!!!!!!!! He always wears his uniform...always! school plays, non uniform days and school trips. I always feel like the mum who forgot(although no one thinks that at all) and today as we dropped the children off at the trip and he didnt have to actually go near school, and I bought him a new "suit" top and shorts so it didnt have a "place" yet ,he did it! I know to some this might sound so silly to be pleased but for me.....this is huge! I am teary eyed as I type! dont care if he never does it again(although have my fingers crossed ) Yes I know he didnt go to school but he let the other children see him not in uniform...he was up several times in the night to be reassured people would recognize him but he is pushing his own boundries and I am so dam proud! He is very clingy tonight and I realize what a big thing it was for him! A year ago I would have laughed if someone told me not only would he want to do this but to do it! Happy Mummy tonight
  8. My son has also started to wee next to the computer when I am not looking! which makes no sence at all as he was potty trained at 18 months and will be 7 in september!
  9. Hello, not posted for a while! Just wondered if anyone can share/help ds was obsessed with thomas and trains however about a year and a half ago lego took over and he has not looked at or spoken of trains since. A few weeks ago ds teacher went on maternity leave(this is the only trigger I can think of) and has been replaced by an equally super teacher that ds likes. Anyway he has now developed what I can only describe as a total obsession with thomas again, much worse than it ever was, he has the trains out constantly, watches the same utube clip of a boy talking about trains and only wants to talk about, watch and play trains..... he is six and a half and the lego although was/is an obsession was never this intence it also helped him fit in at school. My question is .......does this happen to your children? do they go back to a past obsession? I am a little worried about regression as he has also started pooing in the bath again and smearing, which untill recently was becoming less and less frequent. He does not seem stressed, school handled the transition of teachers very well and he does seem to really like his new teacher, who to her credit has made a huge effort to make sure ds is happy and has made sure his routine is the same. Nothing at home has changed so I just wondered is this normal! thanks as always for any replies or advice x
  10. Hi, My son was assesed at 3.5 and dx was 2 months later( hfa) It was his nursery that saw he was different and not me (although looking back now not sure why I had not noticed) He went to an assesment center and dx came after around 10 visits Best of luck x
  11. Hi all, My friends child is in year 8 and has a statement( not sure how many hours or the content...sorry to be vauge) He is really unhappy at school and they are having lots of problems. He has asd traits on his statement but is currently awaiting a camhs assesment for as. I think that perhaps his statement needs to be reviewed in terms of the type of support he should/could recieve with regard to the social difficulties he is having as at present I think these have not been specified. Am I right in thinking they as parents can request a review before the annual review? I am sure I have seen this in the cop but cant find it now I am looking. I am going to have a chat with her later but dont want to give her any info that is not accurate. Many thanks
  12. welcome to the forum Good luck today. Like others have said, take a list of your concerns,things you notice at home and the things at school even if they seem small, it all helps to build a picture.
  13. Hi, it makes me sad and angry to hear of the problems you are having. I had problems with my sons last school ignoring his sen eventhough he had a15 hour statment! as he was bright and did not really bother anyone! It is disgusting but sadly it happens far more than it should. In my experience, if a school does not care about sen they will not change just because a child gets a statement. I fought and fought to make them do there jobs but still they didnt, I gave up and removed my son. It is a huge risk, however it is the best thing I have ever done. My son has been at his new school a year and not once have I had any worry, not once have I had to contact them, he needs are met and I have got my life back. I trully understand how hard it is to try to get what your child needs and deserves. can you look at other schools? I think that if staying at this school is your only option you must have a multi agency meeting. The school need to agree to an iep that will help your child. I would complain/request action in writting so it is on file. I would speak to parent partnership. The problem is I think schools think we will give up and they can get away with bad practice. is your son one the sen register? ask to see schools sen policy, outline you childs needs and where they are not being met. I am sorry I cant be off much help. In my opinion I would apply for assesment NOW so you can use the transition to year 3 as an extra thing to mention Do you think your child is reaching their potential? If not they are not recieving an equal oppertunities education.
  14. Fantastic news! You must be very proud and excited! What a huge acheivement <'> Well done to your little one xxxx
  15. Hi, my ds now 6 used to scream all the time when he was 3 and his verbal communication was very limited( so much so I had to call on the neighbors to say, he is fine, I am with him, but if you are concerned feel free to knock on the door to check he is ok!)I found that pretty much it was just something he had to grow out of, pecs helped with the "i dont know what is happening" screams but other things like a story does not end in the way he planned screams they were just something we had to ride out. On a positive note as ds has become more verbal the screaming has all but stopped now he shouts about what he is upset about but at least you can understand the problem and try to make him undersatnd! Good luck it is so very tough when your child is upset or screaming and you cant make it better! It will get better. I do recomend speaking to the neighbours, I was always worried that they might think ds was either being harmed or neglected when he screamed during the evening, which added to the worry of the screaming! my neighbours were all fantastic and I felt more confident when the screaming was about a chocolate biscuit I had said no to, I was able not to give in safe in the knowlege the neighbours would be comfortable to knock on the door if they heard him screaming for long periods or were worried by his noise.
  16. up untill a year ago I would have said that all children on the spectrum should either be at asd specific schools or be home educated. however since finding a mainsteam school that is so fantastic and is an example that includion can work I have changed my mind. Although I must add ds is still only a year 1 and I am all set to home educate at year 7 as I do not think he will cope with senior school and there is no provision that will meet his needs in the area at that age!
  17. Hi and welcome you will find lots of fantastic support here
  18. hope all went well for you and that you get the result you want. Have been thinking of you today x <'>
  19. I totally agree with you! it is disgusting that schools get away with bad practice and we as parents end up moving our children and the school just continues to let down children with special needs, what I find worrying is if they are ignoring the needs of statemented children what hope is there for those children with additional needs that are not statemented and who should be recieving SA or SA+ also what about those parents for whatever reason are unable to move their children? I still think about making an official complaint about the old school, but I voted with my feet and removed my child and sadly I have to fight my own fight. I am aware that the old school is STILL letting children down but I nearly had a break down fighting for my son, I feel weak that I havent blown the whistle as it were on the school, but am also aware that I cant do it all! I did make sure the LA understood exactly why he was removed. But like you say these schools often have ofsted reports that look like sen is catered for! Thank you for you comment that ds sucsess is down to school, me and ds which I 100% agree with, it has to be a combined effort with everyone putting in the work for the child to be happy and sucure and being the best they can be, but I think that is true of all our children asd or not xxxx
  20. I think the key has been communication! they make sure ds (and all the other children) know what is going on, they let them know about any changes that will happen. A visual timetable is in place for all the infants and ds noes not feel different. But mostly I think they "get it" they seem to understand the little things that ds finds hard and work round them
  21. Hi I just want to share how great of a year ds has had since we changed schools. as many of you will probably remember ds was a mess at old school bitting himself poking his eyes and generally distressed also educational needs not being met at all! Well it is almost exactly a year since he started at his new school that have taken his needs and his statement very seriously. Since starting there he has gone on school trips, joined in and even enjoyed school play! and been totally included in all aspects of school life. He is a different boy that is proud to be at his school! the staff are wonderfull and a real example that inclusion can work! He has also been encouraged with the things he can do and became a "free" reader last week school seem as proud and excited by his acheivements as I am. It goes to show that maybe when you are in an endless fight with school like I was ,sometimes it works to give in and move schools! xxxx
  22. Hi once again thanks for the replies. Ds really does not want to try again and has decided he might when he is a year 2! Lots of the children he knows were very kind to him and tried to get him to join in but he simply said "Leave me alone" I was with him as I was filling out crb forms so I could help out and before I could finish the forms he was poking his eyes and begging to leave:( He also is so independent he does not want me around..... Last night was the most distressed I have seen him in over a year, since things were awfull at last school. I was heart broken last night that he was saying he didnt want to go to school,as the children had seen him upset and "people will ask about beavers" He managed well at school today(thank goodness) his teacher said he did not mention it to her but she heard him telling some children he would be a Beaver in year 2! I think after it upset him so much we will leave it for a year! I had almost forgotten how distressed he can get and what an effect it has on me when we have very difficult nights. I was so scared last night that it was going to affect school where he is so very very happy. It is funny as I prepare him for everything,like a school trip, I drive miles to show him where it will be ,how long it will take to get there, what door he might go in ect, we check out how it smells,what the seats are like at a theatre so there are no suprizes and the stress is not there for him (or his teachers/classmates)on the day and this system really works for us, So when he seemed so excited at the thought of beavers I did none of this preperation......things have been so good since his new school last year I think I fell into a false sence of security and assumed he would just love it! Thanks for replies! My worst day in over a year,with lots of crying on the plus side although I had a rotten day and was so worried about him, not only did he do great, but that cant be bad to have a really tough day in a year!
  23. Hi Sally, thank you for your reply it made a lot of sence. We had a difficult night, as he was scared of going to school(which he adores) as he was worried his teacher would ask him about beavers.He managed ok this morning, he waited outside his classroom and I told his teacher to please not ask him if he enjoyed it,and put a note in his home/school book to explain he had found it upsetting. We also took buiscuits in for snack time for his class as a very special treat which made him feel important! Yes he has a huge problem with things being moved or tidyed. and also hates it if I change my hair of purfume!
  24. Hi, great Idea about finding a beavers group where he does not know anyone, I think this could work? He is still upset and keeps bursting into tears. He has said it was too noisey(which it was) and has tried to explain about not seeing people he knows. I now think part of the problem is as we live in a small area he knew all of the children, most from his old school who it seems for him no longer exist now he has moved schools and some from his new school who he says "belong at school" He keeps saying he was frightened. I find it very hard to see him so upset. He is often very confident in situations and seems oblivious of the shyness some children would naturally show. He will happily march up to a shop assistant to ask them for something and is at ease with adults, but will then struggle terribly with something I think he will enjoy and take in his stride.It seems he finds the "fun things" much harder to cope with eg was terrified by the christmas fair (town shouldnt look like that!) wont go to parties or visit friends. I think perhaps it was a little ambitious of me to think he would like beavers.... maybe in a year? I do understand his difficulties but do not ever want to assume he wont like or wont cope untill he tries as I think there will be many things he will enjoy. Thank you for your replies x
  25. First of all " Happy New Year!" Ds has been on the waiting list for Beavers for ages, and finally got his place. He has been very excited and has talked of nothing else. He went tonight and didnt cope at all,as there were lots of children from school. He knew there would be and seemed ok about it(even though people in the wrong place is often a problem) He became upset and we came home. The hard part for me is that he is devestated! I had to carry him home sobbing(no mean feet struggling through the ice with a very ,upset six year old clinging on like his life depended on it I can tell you ) He says he just cant go, I have said it doesnt matter at all,to which he repiled through his sobs" Yes it does it really does!" I suggested we try next week but he says that just cant happen. anyway, just feel very sad for him. does anyone else have this problem with people being in the wrong place?
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