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bluefish

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Everything posted by bluefish

  1. bluefish

    letter to lea

    Thank you once again x
  2. bluefish

    letter to lea

    Thank you again I will conact IPSEA as soon as poss not sure if they work weekends? Thank goodness you mentioned that! How is it that sen needs and provision are so cloak and dagger and it is down to parents to become proffesionals in the field to get our childrens needs met?????AHHHHHH thanks again
  3. Thanks again for your advice This morning,yet again problems at school... No p.e. but his visual timetable had p.e. on and it was p.e. day! ds was upset and would not beleive me that there was no p. e. so asked his teacher who said " no you are watching the year 1/2 nativity instead! ds was cross and upset, I said "it is on his time table for p.e." she shrugged and said lsa probably didnt know!!!!!!! I am no longer shocked at the lack of communication between home and school but think there is a huge problem with understanding asd when the teachers dont communicate with each other and never thought it might affect ds that no only were changes being made, but is visual timetable that he trusts was... WRONG! he has been very angry and upset all evening! please oh please keep everything crossed that the lea let him move schools
  4. bluefish

    letter to lea

    Hi had a call from the school I am hoping ds to move to and the HT said she had been in touch with lea and as the statement goes with the school I have to write to education requesting a change of school, can anyone advise? what do I write ? is there a model letter I could copy? Do I mention the MANY reasons why I want to move him? or remain diplomatic and just request the move? and only document my issues if the move is refused? this is quite urgent as I do not want him to return to his now school in January so am working against the clock thanks in advance for your knowlrdge and any advice
  5. Hi Kathryn, thank you for you help and advice, yes I have done all of the fighting alone, I am a single parent and have been to every assesment and meeting alone, and challenged school alone on what now amounts to countless occasions, however it's the advice and support from people on here like yourself that have armed me with the knowledge and strengh to do so, I am going to get pp involved due to your advice, I have called them once when I needed to sound them out about school being in breech of a legal document (his statement of course) but didn't think to call them regarding all the other stuff. Your right about school not liking a parent telling them how to do their jobs , they no longer look at me let alone speak..... Thanks again I have a missed call from the school I want him to go to, but tonight can not face hearing lea said no, as I have a horrible virus and need to sleep rather than stress, will call them tommorw to find out the verdict! In your opinion, if the answer is no till June would you a, keep your head down and start him in year 1 b, take lea to tribunal or c, keep him off? You of course do not have to answer that and any answer you did give,I would only consider as another parents opinion. Thanks for all your advice
  6. Hi, for the first time ds showed a slight interest in us having a tree, so, worried he might change his mind I rushed out and spent a fortune on the biggest one I could find! 8ft! it was delivered today and I had told ds it would be ready to decorate after school... It didn't fit in the house! what was I thinking? so armed with a hacksaw I set about cutting the top off, no mean feat I can tell you. I managed to drag the thing in, now the task of getting it into its stand, the clock is ticking as ds was due home in less than an hour and would be expecting the tree ready and waiting with the house back in order... trunk too thick to fit stand! at this point I I thought I might have a meltdown myself lol, so muttering and swearing to myself I put the hacksaw back in action, my word was it a thankless task! eventually got it in and in position... put the lights on.... and it fell over on top of me! if someone was with me it would have been funny as it was 5ft woman under large tree I could not find the funny side! the lights were now all tangled and needles everywhere! I, instead of being calm started to kick the tree ha ha ha then called my mother to help! (I am 38 lol) The tree fell down a further 3 times even with her help and eventually we gave in and got the trusty hacksaw out agin to make the truck fit the stand properly! with 5 mins before I had to get ds it was finally up with lights on! It was like "challenge anika" for those of us that remember that programme? I kept saying "Time check please?" It is up and ds was....quite pleased with it! Now a few hours later I realise just how funny it was and I must have looked under that tree just wanted to share something funny for a change rather than my usual pleas for help and advice!
  7. Hi, yes it is a new statement. The final statement was issued in june. and started in September. Thanks for that info, bit worried now as new school called to say they have contacted Learning support and tried to get hold of Education officer today in order to sort out cover. If Lea refuse to let him move that puts me in a very difficult position, things are strained enough with relationship with school,and as I live in a very small community am sure school will already know I have approached another. Can I, if lea say no to move, de register my son and home ed until 12 months has passed? I have no real wish to have to go into detail with the lea or new school into the many reasons I wish to move him as it will just become a bun fight into who is telling the truth. I had his review LAST week! and I did not bring up the many many times things have gone wrong and I have had to meet with school ( which I now deeply regret) as I felt it important to TRY to work with and support school as up until "the final staw" this week I was trying to work with them. I did however mention that I was Gravely concerned about my sons personal safety and that staff needed training in ASD in order to understand my huge concerns. I hate being assertive...... and also did not mention lots of things at review as when the people you want to complain about are in the room and there are lots of them and just you, it is not easy, and can sound very personal. However twice I have contacted lea about problems and Twice I have contacted Specialist advisory teacher. I have no axe to grind, I just want my son to recieve what is on his statement. Life is tough enough eh without this hassel! I parent help at school (or did untill today) twice a week and saw first hand how bad things were. silly thing is my son is well behaved and complient at school and they totally underestimate him, but I get the meltdowns and panic at home due to the fact changes are not communicated and he is totaly confussed! thought about videoing 2 am when ds is hysterical about his school day! aaaahhhhhh
  8. Hi yes in the same lea. thanks for your replies
  9. Hi I let E have the DTP but not the MMR booster, my mother says she knew he was autistic before he had the MMR, however I could not go through with the booster jab. I have been asked several times by HV and school nurse to let him have it but do not feel comfortable and although It runs the risk of him contracting Mumps or measels feel that I still do not want him to have the jab. A very personal dissicion and a very hard one. I am scared that children on the spectrum maybe have a bad reaction to the jab.... not saying I think it causes autism but maybe just maybe affects them in a negative way. no help I am sure..... but I can not get my head round the booster. Maybe single jabs are the way to go but feel even they may have a risk?????? This is possibly a parinod parent responce and I am sure you will do what you feel is right xxxc
  10. Hi, I have decided today that I am going to change schools as the problems I have encountered since the beggining of september seem to be constant. I have met with school many times and last week put my concerns in writting to them. The letter I got back beggered belief, firstly it answered nothing and secondly lied about what they have been doing and they have phoned lea and lied to them so I look like I am fussing! Cant not and will not put up with it. Anyway I am waiting on the HT of another school to contact me with regard to my son starting in January,( they have space) Is it my right to move him? does his statement remain in place? any advice? Thank you very much in advance
  11. I am at breaking point, School seem to think ds has NO problems even thouh he has a dx and a statement of 15hrs, I have been in many times since September for variouis reasons, no visual time table in place etc etc things seem to get done once I insist. I had a problem in oct and nov when lsa was absent ds was given no support, I contacted lea who confirmed statement leagal and binding document and ds must recieve the support. I went to school with this info and was assured in case of absence ta that has known him for around 2 years would be used to cover hours. yesterday lsa was off and ds went unsupported! I went in and insisted named ta was to support ds if lsa was off again, which she was, NO communication from school yet again and although in his diary it states ta played a game with him I know no cover was provided for ta to spend the 1-1 time with my son. since starting full time school it is reported that his behaviour is perfect, copes well with any change( even 6 teachers in a week due to sickness) They will not listen to me that all these thing affect him and I get the full forse of it at home. I feel I am losing my child, all he has for me is anger distress and hate after a day at school. They will not listen that he is affected by change as at school he seems to cope. I am the one with the frightenend and angry child at 2 am I have devoted my life to planning and preparing my son in order to reduce his stress levels, he goes to school has no problems and they think either they have "cured" him or that I am a rubbish parent that can not cope! Please help, I am ehausted fighting school and do not know what I can do to make them undrstand that the changes they make have a direct impact on my sons behaviour at home Help
  12. Hi ds got statement that started in September and his review is in 10 days time! crazy I think! I have been given a form to fill that has to be in by Monday and am not sure what to put! can I just write"Ds needs what is currently described on his statement" or do I have to yet again point out his difficulties? school have chosen not no meet with me to discuss my many concerns so at the review I will have to mention that his statement has not been adheared too and school are not doing what is required of them by law..... what do I write on the forms?
  13. Hi and thanks once again for all replies. I met with is teacher and head of foundation and the gloves were off. I left no stone unturned and told them everything I was unhappy with. I highlighted "Personal safety" I also explained how disgusted I was with the casual approach to his needs.His teacher openly admitted she does his time table and has no idea what to put so plucks things out of the air... that random timetable is then given to an lsa who is just marking time.... Why oh why are special needs so neglected? However I had contacted specialist advisory teaching service with conserns about him being unsuported and also to find out when they would visit as he has 12hrs a year imput from them on his statement. Well lucky for me me they made an on the spot visit the day after I raised my HUGE concerns. Lsa had REMOVED visual timtable as "he knows what he is doing" and although I have not spoken to her it seems she backed up everything I said and more. The following day his teachers were using signs and sent home lots of word flash cards for whole word recognition! That was yesterday. I had told his teacher as she did not know how to do the timetable and what sort of things/activities it should include I said I would help so have spent most of the day printing off 1-1 and small group activities for ds for school to use and info sheets on social stories etc I feel that with what I have seen so far I am the only person capable of teaching him...But he loves school and I dont want to take that away from him(yet unles I have to) I spent all of last night making school a visual timetable that will work for ds.I just hope that things will improve? I meet again with alll staff incliding senco and head on wednesday.And his annual review has been brought forward.so watch this space.... I have been very nieve thinking lsa's would be trained in autisum. I have been very nieive thinking everyone would care and take it as seriously as I do
  14. Thank you for replies and support! will keep you posted.... Parent helped again today and ds recived 8 mins where lsa was present in a 1 hr period of 1-1 support and that was with another child ds choose to paint a picture with while lsa wrote in his diary and did not even engage with my son..... at one point he left the area and it was almost 15 min before she noticed... and then slowly and causualyn went to find him. unbelievable.. yes True.... YES I have spoken to his class teacher and am due to meet at lengh after school tomorrow to discuss my concerns about the lsa and what school are doing not only to educate ds but to keep him safe
  15. Hi, I have ds first annual review in a couple of weeks and have been given the form to fill in, can anyone tell me if the questions relate to the lea or the school?in terms of "what do you feel we can do to support your child further "etc My second queestion relates to the lsa what I can expect and how to handle my huge concerns. I was parent helping in school today in the foundation stage where ds is, so saw first hand his lsa in action(or lack of it) I have been concerned by his home school book that he seems to get almost no 1-1 and is doing things that he was more than able to do at least a year ago. He is being taught jolly phonics which have totally confused him and words he could read(recognise) before he started nursery (almost 2 years ago) he now cant do as he just does actions and sounds. It was recomended he be taught to read by whole word recognition and this has been ignored. At parents evening a week ago I brought up my concerns about the phonics and that he was confused, and I was told "all children do this he is not blending sounds yet" I mentioned that I thought they might teach him whole word recognition as recomended and was told "he is the best in the class for phonics,he has got it really well stop worrying" Ds has a photographic memory of course he can remember the signs grrrrr the problem is he has no idea that they have anything to do with reading! I saw first hand today lsa turn up 15 mins late, then do 10mins 1-1 sentences with words ds knows and has known for a long time.. then... NOTHING she wandered about and chatted to teachers while he played. then it was music and ds was led off with the others and still she chatted and joined the class about 10mins later????? at break she stood and drank coffee outside while ds "played" then it was IT and ds went with the others and again she did not go with him untill at least 10mins later! when the children were having a story she was not sat with him and he kept shouting out random things. she also approached me with a huge smile and said "we are not bothering with his visual time table as it was a waste of time last week he knows what to do" I really want and need to raise my conserns but ok HOW it is not personal I like the lsa but she clearly has no clue about autism and seems to think as long as he is not kicking off her job is done. ds is as (well hfa) and has ability to do well but school think as he is coping no problem! I deal with the meldowns at home when something has been changed, also he is "into" numbers and before reception he was able to recognize over 1000 and do sums so am suprised he his not getting any 1-1 with math and his book is coming back with worked on 1-5??????? School see me a a pain in the backside as I have had to question every thing and make sure they are doing their job.. I am tired of being hated and can not believe I am going to have to tackle them AGAIN. How do I tackle the way they are implementing his statement? Help.... Thanks in advance for any advice
  16. Hi, totally understand how you are feeling! I not only found the forms very difficult to fill out but as I only have one child and know nothing different found it hard to understand why I could possibly get money for being a mum!!!! It took my mum to point out that even when things are good,it is nothing like the way things are with an A typical child! I found it hard to do the forms and made ds sound far better than he is in some situations , yes he has smeared but not for a while ect ect so I didnt include it....but as was pointed out to me by the disability officer how many other parents have to obssesivly visit places, buy certain things ,drive everywhere, replace furnitue,etc ect I think the forms are heartbreaking as they make you look at the hard stuff that we tend to regard as normal... fill them in and send them off. I know,that if given a choice would rather be in the position that the forms were something you had ever even heard of! I felt disrespectful (sorry about spelling) saying things about my son, the bad days etc so to make myself feel better put a note on the forms to say....although he is very hard work and has his difficulties he is an amazing little boy and I am very proud of him, might sound daft, but it helped me write down the negative things that he is capable of .. hope this helps? send the forms!
  17. bluefish

    10hrs support

    Hi, he should be getting 10hrs direct support! I posted on here last week and got good advice regarding my sons lsa being off and no replacement put in place,due to advice from people here I spoke to ACE who were very helpful and called the Lea also phoned the specialist advisory teaching service who ALL said the same thing..... it is a legal and binding document! So your childs statement hours have to be aheared to. Get all your facts then meet with school. I met with the head as that is where the buck stops.Sometimes I think schools get away with what they can due to resorses, lack of staff etc and I think in the case of my school perhaps lack of knowledge of sen law.I do understand it must be hard for schools but that is not your problem,it is not an ideal world,and you are fighting for your childs education. The education officer who wrote the statement will be interested in what is going on at school as there name is attached to the statement. Does the statement include any Specialist advisory teacher imput? (my son has 12hrs per year on his) as they are specialised in autism,you could ask them what they think and perhaps they could speak to school to back you? But I think 10hrs means just that...10hrs and school should have part three of the statement to also put in place from their own resorses????? If it was 8 hrs and 2 for plannining and preparation this would or should be clearly stated in the statement.. They can not remove(well they can but it a breech of a legal document) your sons lsa to support another child! they need to use support from a non statmented child from schools resorses in these cases.( I do know this is NOT good for the other child either!!!! ahhhhh ) Good luck The more info you have the better My meeting went well and I got a good result as I got all the facts so I could not be fobbed off. some of the best advice I got on here was "when the school realise you wont keep you mouth shut they will get things done" My school seemed to truly beleive a statmented child could go unsupported for three days until learning support sent cover,this is what has been happening for I dont know how long! Now my son will be supported by a named ta that knows him really well,until lsa bck or replacement provided. Maybe your childs school have always worked this way with statemented children and dont realise that they are in the wrong? or maybe other parents have never questioned them over this "planning"time????
  18. thanks for replies but feel heartbroken. just can not not make any sence of it tonight
  19. Hi, this is going to sound really silly, but it was harvest festival at school today and ds teacher had told me he has been joining in during the practice and how pleased they were etc etc,as he has never participated at all before I could hardly sleep last night with excitment,that like all those other mums I would get my moment and watch him sing...... armed with my camara I was one of the first to arrive..... but my little man took off his "cloud" hat, put his hands over his ears and rocked for the full 15 mins! I KNOW IT DOES'T MATTER but today it mattered to me And to be honest it has opened the flood gates, I am normally so busy, like we all are caring for our children that I never stop to think and today it all caught up with me. Today I am scared about the future, all the things we do that are different, I had excepted ds does not do parties, or christmas, or friends or suprizes and that every thing is a battle that needs carefull planning and that I may never get him to a zoo............................But I think I have just accepted my son is autistic.... does that make any sence at all? I feel broken tonight...I was supposed to go to theatre club and as I felt so down decided not to this led to the mother of all meltdowns as monday night mum goes out and grandma baby sits aahhhhhhhhh self pity over
  20. Thanks for your reply made me smile
  21. Hi, I have been trying to teach ds how to tell a joke (not sure why...) and the whole concept is totally lost on him, we first tried "Knock Knock" Whos there, Dr, Dr Who! this resulted in him making up random names for who might be there, and he has no idea who Dr Who is.... so I tried "Why did the Chiken cross the road" which ended up in him having a pig a farmer a tractor with a trailer two sheep a cow and several other animals crossing the road to get to a new farm........ Just wondered are jokes something he might understand one day? not important but just wondered as his peer group are at an age that they are telling basic jokes and ds can not understand why they do this and why they are not telling the truth!
  22. Hi I went on Earlybird last year and am now doing the "What now?" course( or Early bird plus) I found it very helpful, I knew most of the things about autism,but it was great to meet other parents in the same boat and gained lots of tips from them. Also it was good to laugh( and sometimes cry..) with people who REALLY understand. My opinion ... Well worth doing! Enjoying the "What now" and have met lots of great people who know what sleep depravation feels like
  23. Hi, I have a meeting in the morning with HT regarding ds being unsupported when Lsa is off. School have told me that he can be unsupported for three days untill cover provided. Ok, I phoned the lea, who agreed learning support do not provide cover for three days BUT the school have a duty to provide cover from it's resorces untill cover provided, ie from non statemented children( not ideal)As it is a legal doc they must do this..... and at very least for an asd child should have a back up plan that I and my son are aware of! Specialist advisory teacher said the same, as did ACE... But I am so nervous about having to go in and tell them that they must provide cover and need to comunicate with me so I can prepare my son. My main worry is that ds seems to be taking it all in his stride at school but is confussed and upset at home about his day which they dont see. I hate being in this position as it makes me look like I want to fuss and moan I have been to visit a school that has an asd unit but was told I have to go through lea and if he coping in mainstream he would not meet criteria aaaahhhhh ds was again unsupported yesterday morning and a not in his diary said mrs x is off no cover will be in place for three days. I told ds over and over mr x would not be at school today and guess what she was!!!!!!!!!!of course pleased he had support but ds can not understand why I lied!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I need school to understand the importance of communication for a child with asd. Any advice on how to handle meeting?????? I know I am passionate about ds and his statement(which I think I should be) but would welcome any advice on how to disscus my concerns in order to get a posotive outcome. The senco is at best disinterested which is why I am going to speak to HT. Thanks
  24. Hi, just to say I was turned down as ds gets middle rate care and no mobility, GP does not know ds (apart from ear infections) so I phoned and asked if a health proffesional that knew my son very well with regard to his autism could write a letter of support of my application. This was agreed. My hv who knows ds very well and understands the difficulty we have with tantrums,running off, no sence of danger ect ect wrote to support my app. Ds got badge. It has made a huge difference to me. As mentioned on this thread by others, it has never been about paying for a ticket, just the fact it makes life that little bit easier when out and about. Good Luck Lin
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