westie

Not knowing fully your situation I don't know what outside help Steve has had, but would have thought that the school will also be looking at ways to help change the behaviour that is most problematic, and I know you will have very important and valuable contribution to that but will they not offer any help/ advice to you and work with you to help. I would have thought they have seen this sort of thing before and have some techniques/ ways to deal with difficult behaviour? I really hope that things work out for Steve and he manages to turn things around and keep his place. Thinking of you, Debbie

hello choccie, welcome to the forum!

Good luck with your appointment today X

I think the school are worried about people who have never had chickenpox catching it, and I think there is someone there who has not had chickenpox and is expecting a baby too (no idea who it is) . I am not sure whether there are links between low immune system and ASD's, perhaps someone else can help.... Mel, your DS has been through the mill - glad the build up tonics seem to have worked.

My eldest son (9) has PDA and was diagnosed at age 5. He has a younger brother who has just turned 3. There is a big age gap as I was afraid a little of coping with another child! Anyway, although J was a little jealous about his brother sleeping in our bedroom while he was in his own bed I explained this to him saying that C needed to be fed in night and that there was not enough room in bed for all of us. I did my best not to try and make him feel left out. There have not been too many problems with jealousy, although now they appear to be arguing more as C interferes with J's play and wants to be a big boy, and then J gets cross - would say just like any other siblings really (I was HORRID to my big brothers and they certainly resented me, but we get along okay now as adults!) I expected more problems that there actually was, J is generally very loving with him and can be really helpful in getting him ready, stopping him from running off (doing the "lets see who can get dressed first" trick that I use to get J to hurry in a morning - not that C gets dressed himself but he at least stands still sometimes so that I can dress him!) C, my youngest has recently been diagnosed with ASD, and as many of you already know these syndrome's can run in families. We went to Child dev. centre yesterday for appointment and they have referred me to genetic counsellor. I think that it is a good idea to explore this if you think you do want more children. I will not be having any more children, and was even considering getting sterilised, although I do not think at present I am in right frame of mind to make such a big decision These two keep me busy enough. I do not think I could cope, and my hubby does not want any more anyway.

hello and welcome!

Hi Hev and mylittleangel, I hope you saw my other post in the resources section. If you live down south then they may be doing a conference down that part of the country which I think would be very useful. HEV the presenters at the conference were good, APPLE who posted the original message about the conference has a son with autism and PDA who is now 18. He has had a lot of issues with violence/ trashing house and I know you have some concerns about that at the minute with your son from reading some of your other posts. I think it would be worth contacting her as she may be able to help as she has a lot of experience as she manages THE MAZE who are a support group in Notts as well (she presented at the conference). Fiona Speirs worked with 16-19yr age group and she had some very interesting tales and methods about working with young people with PDA tendencies. There are lots of other parents posting on the PDA forum who have useful info. to share but perhaps you have already looked on there? Its hard to deal with a PDAS child/ young person's very pressing need to avoid doing anything asked of them - my son can spend hours trying to get out of something which he could have finished within a couple of minutes and which is well within his capabilities and it is draining for both of us (and his dad, and his teachers!) If you have any specific questions you could pm me and I will try to help if I can, although I am no expert I am still learning myself!

James was about two and a half when he got chickenpox. The school have sent him home as he has been scratching and the advice they got is if he scratches scabs off he may be infectious again, so will have to keep him home until he is not itching so much.... poor lad

Antihistamine has been helping itching in my son who has shingles (see my other thread on this forum!) I think its worth a try, although always worth checking with GP! Does he have them in his mouth? I hope he feels better soon

Hi and thanks for your replies. Liz: 4yrs old - that is really young! I have never heard of a child who has had it before now. I hope J soon feels better too..... Am off to bed now, have a good evening everyone!

Hi, I was thinking along right lines, someone had asked question: See link (hope its okay to post!) http://ccgi.pdacontact.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=514

stressedmum - I think you are right , I would suggest contacting apple (the OP of this thread) if you think this would be useful for others in London as well

If you look on the PDA forum I am sure they were talking about doing a conference somewhere further south, not sure whether it was London but may be worth checking. There were a lot of parents on that forum saying similar thing. Will have a look and post again the actual location they were thinking of....

Hi. Did not watch that but am now watching "am I normal?" also presented by Dr Tanya. Its about body image and girls as young as 6 internalising opinions/ideas about perfect shape and people having scary procedures to look perfec). Its quite scary.....

Hi Last week my eldest (9) came downstairs, sat down and screamed loudly, saying his back hurt. When I looked there were a number of spots almost in a circle and another patch nearby which were red with a blistery centre. I thought he had been bitten, as he has had chickenpox. I did think about shingles as they are at waist level and my sister in law had shingles a few months ago and it came out in a similar place, but thought kids did not get it. Anyway he complained intermittently about pain/ itching in following days and I put insect cream on. He stopped at his nans on friday and she told me he had really bad night tossing and turning and was hurting/ itching so much she took him to chemist who prescribed piriton and suggested visit to doctors today. Anyway gp confirmed it is shingles (one sided rash, following a line and like chickenpox rash (now scabbed over!) Its rare in kids and usually occurs if you have low immunity/ with stress. Only thing I can think of is he is most stressed kid I know (probably common with ASD/PDA) so maybe that is reason he has got it. I sent him to school all last week when he may have been infectious, youngest has not had chickenpox and they been in bath together so waiting for him to develop chickenpox now. I feel so cruel. At least this sort of explains why he has had a bad 2 weeks at school - it can make you quite poorly, but J has to be in a lot of pain to express it and he always has been like that. It comes out in behaviour though - when younger he had glue ear and when he had cycles of really bad behaviour I could tell his ears were hurting. Wanted to post as a sort of"warning" to others who may see this sort of rash/ symptoms but who may also dismiss as insect bites as they too may think that kids don't get shingles (I hope there is someone or I will feel like the worst mother ever!)

Sorry not had this issue (yet) but the suggestion by LizK sounds like a good idea to try!

Hi Shamu and thanks for your reply, its much appreciated. I can relate to your comments and I have a real fear about how I would be all day at home (although not having to stress about hospital appointments etc, getting time off to do the earlybird course in Sept. will be welcome!) I think I am going to speak to my boss again to ask more about the career break. Then at least I could go back if it is getting too much ! Getting back to work after a break (whether chosen or a necessity because of illness/carig for someone or other) can be a big issue and the childcare issues must make it even more complicated.My friend left work for health reasons a couple of years ago and she is now looking round and its not easy. Another thing for me to think about when I am considering what to do. Thanks again!

Hev, Sorry to hear about Steve being suspended. I hope your daughter got back to school okay today and that you had a good day together. I too think its positive that he has apologised to Nick and suggested writing the letter of apology to the teacher. I hope the school do not give up yet - if it is a behaviour school I would have thought they have seen this before and would now look at ways of helping Steve to understand better ways of expressing himself. Also hope the review goes well on the 30th Take care D X

I went and it was really useful - both talks were informative talking about PDA from a parent and professional perspective, and Fiona Spears was very experienced in dealing with children with ASD/AS/PDA as well as being an excellent presenter. The children she worked with at the school in Notts were 16-19 age group and with various diagnoses, including some with PDA and although my son is much younger I thought it was excellent as there are not many guidelines for this age group. And the parent who also presented has 3 children, one who is 18 and with autism/PDA diagnosis and a 15yr old with AS diagnosis. If they run the conference again I would recommend it to anyone whose child has been diagnosed with PDA or who has "avoidance" tendencies alongside ASD.

sounds lovely, have a fab time (and a small glass for me!)

my eldest son (who has PDA) has wooden bunk beds. They do not squeak or anything, but he has eaten/ bit all the edges on the top bunk where he sleeps, and it looks a right mess! Although if wood parts are covered by sheets/quilt/ blankets etc perhaps this would not be a problem for you.

Simon Thanks for your advice, you have made some good points and given me some things to think about. I am glad my employer has given me some breathing space, and some further options other than resigning too so that I can think about it properly and explore all the options. I suppose knowing your nanny from the after school club was reassuring for you. My childminder had looked after the youngest from about 6mths so she knew my eldest son for a while before she started looking after him (and vice versa). Last night I was speaking to another mum of a PDA child (we meet up once a month for a curry, along with other parents of PDA/ASD children) and she gave me some useful info. about after school clubs and extra funding they can apply for with special needs kids. Her son has gone to these some days in holidays and because they are not being told what to all the time and there are lots of activities he has done really well and enjoyed it, so this is something I am going to look at.

Hi. Firstly some brief info on my situation: my hubby now works full time, and when he started I moved to part time work (20hrs). The childminder who looked after my youngest from him being a baby then offered to have my other son too (before have managed with the very few family who can cope with him helping out now and again). I have worked since leaving school (more than 10yrs shall we say - a lady should never tell you her age!!) except when on maternity leave and although I have my off days the people who I work with are nice, and I enjoy getting out and talking to other adults. Anyway my childminder has just given me 2wks notice as she got another job (not childminding). I handed in my notice at work and my boss said not to be so hasty and basically talked to HR and they have offered to give me a month off to try and sort things out and if at the end I can't then I can tell them I am leaving or they may offer me a career break for up to a year. I am well impressed with them (indeed they have been really good before about things relating to my family). Even since I started part time there have been a few times I have had to take unpaid leave as childminder been ill, kids been ill, or to go and sort out stuff at school and I feel quite guilty about this even though no one has said anything to me I am fed up of feeling like this. Now I wondered if anyone has been in similar situation. How would you find a suitable minder (bearing in mind eldest with PDA can be difficult and has a history of being aggressive to other children, although less so nowadays he is still difficult to handle especially after a bad day at school) Alternatively, I have recognised for a long time that I may be better off at home, especially as 2 of them now need a lot of support, but I fear for my sanity and am scared about being at home all the time as I get quite isolated...... Think financially we can manage as long as my hubby does not decide on another career change... I think I am a bit reluctant as well to give up my stable job and financial independence (I do not mean I keep all money to myself, but just that I am also contributing too and not reliant on someone else) And as youngest will start school in Sept, then will be full time next year perhaps I should be at home and then look at options at that point when I will have free time at least in the school term time?? I could think about renegotiating hours to fit in with school at my current employers or look at something that fits better in school time like lab technician in a school or TA?) Any advice or opinions will be appreciated! Thanks Westie

Hello Karen, rainbow queen and everyone - just reading round and catching up on latest as haven't looked for a while.!

Thanks to everyone who has posted to say hi! Have not been on forum much as having personal crisis (I am losing the plot) though taken positive step and visited gp. Feel better for doing that but long way to go before I feel "right" again. Think that my youngest being diagnosed was like one thing too much, I am sure many of you will know what I mean. Reading posts on here helps me to put things in perspective, there are many going through similar or worse. Suppose I had better go and clean up now - to say its a bit of a mess is an understatement Take care X