Playtimes/Dinner times problems

[JsMum]

J has real difficulties in his playtimes and dinnertimes, he has been involved in some confrontations and some he retaliated, the school have understood J and the group of children one girl came forward and was honest and said she had been saying hurt ful words, and said she wont be doing it anymore.

 

J still has to stay in at break today which will ripple into the day with behaviour difficulties throw not been given time to run around, and so it does get me thinking how can children with ASD understand situations how do your school sort things out when your child retaliates because of provication.

 

J knows he should tell someone but rarely gets to that stage because of his temper goes, the school are looking into extra provision for J at breaks but J is already saying he doesnt want to really have a lady with him, he doesnt like football as the older boys barge into him and he doesnt like tig as all the boys insist he has to be the person who tigs, and he says its not much fun been it all the time.

 

J can tell me these things but doesnt communicate to other children only physically and aggressivly.

 

I understand J has problems but its starting to look a bit clearer that there has to be some improvements on the other side of the fence, other children.

 

How do yours cope with playtimes?

What support does your child recieve?

 

JsMum

[Karen A]

Ben's school have started a computer club at lunch time.It was the first day yesterday so it is early days.However I think it is a good idea.Ben finds play time difficult because he cannot play as well as his peers at running games due to poor motor skills.He also struggles with the rules and turn taking.In the past he got in a lot of difficult situations because he was seen as good to wind up by other children-thet get a dramatic response.We were very clear that we condidered this to be a form of victimisation-and camhs supported us.Ben now has a statement and things are much better.However he had deteriorated to a point where he was very stressed and unhappy.It is worth keeping a close eye on how things develop.If your child is getting in trouble due to being wound up they should not be punished.I also have strong opinions on loss of break time as a sanction.It is totaly unproductive for children with difficulties like ours-Ben just gets cross and is more difficult to cope with in the afternoon.When he has got into trouble at lunch time it is an impulsive thing-sanctions will not prevent him exploding next time.Rather he needs help at the time to manage his feelings-or prompt removal to a place to calm down.The problem is removal to a less busy area is only an option if somone is available to do it.

The other thing that you could try is to ask for training for lunch time staff so that they are more aware of problems.Hope this helps.I know the topic has cropped up a few times so others may have ideas too.Karen

[jb1964]

Hi J'smum,

 

This must be difficult for him.

 

Luckily, we don't have that problem because my daughter has never enjoyed playtimes in the yard - when she was younger she didn't like everyone running around and would always end up on her own as she didn't understand how they knew what to do in playing games etc, ie. tag - as she's got older she finds standing in groups talking about things that doesn't interest her (i.e. fashion/boys etc) very difficult - especially to follow multi-conversations etc. She's now 13 and at comp. they allow her to sit in the reception area for her breaks and she reads. They have offered her a quiet room - but she declined this as she isn't always sure when the bell goes etc for next lesson and needs someone to prompt her to the next lesson.

 

Hope you manage to sort something soon. It seems unfair when he enjoys his breaks outside.

 

Take care,

Jb

Edited September 13, 2006 by jb1964

[darky]

i was just going to say, that at my little girls school they have 3 playgrounds to choose from, all with different activites. one has pe equipement like hoops balls little cars etc, one other has like a wooden pirate ship and a wooden train, and some other small climbing bits in there, as well as traditional hopscotch and tracks painted on the ground, and the last area, is a quiet area with benches and tables so the kids can draw, and it has a sensory garden with windchimes etc and a nature trail.

 

in my sons school next door, the middle school, they have a computer club, a disco club, plus they are able to use multisports courts, the field as well as the playground. these are all reasons i picked these schools for my kids. i loved the idea of having lots of activities for them to do during breaks. i think most of the problems with the kids and bullying these days is because they are bored. years ago kids were allowed to take in conkers, trading cards etc, small games and that, they always had something to do. now a days there is just a huge play area and bog all to do.

[Karen A]

Darky you are so lucky.If schools in inner London have any playground space that is not essential it is used to extend school buildings or sold for development as part of negotiations for school building projects.Karen

[JsMum]

Hi Darky,

 

Js playground is sectioned too, the infants have pe equiptment and bikes and go karts ect...

the juniors have outdoor tables and plant areas, the playground its self doesnt have any markings out that I can rememeber most boys plat football and tig, I really like your reply can I copy and paste it and give it to my headteacher to show him what other schools do at breaks.

J has joined a friendships skills training at the school which is good, and there is training now to have playground buddies, so I think their is developments.

but your school really do have it to a T, brilliant school.

JsMum

[darky]

feel free hun!! thats one of the things im the list im fighting for so that ALL kids get good facilities during unstructured times. i believe this is part of what causes our kids so many problems in mainstream schools.

[zaman]

Hi Js mum, I think that this is a common issue with AS kids, as it is the unstructured school activities that tend to throw them.

 

When we faced this issue last year I was lucky enough to be able to involve an autism outreach worker. She suggested that the school work with my son and a small group of other kids who weren't coping with playtime, and teach them some of the playground games like what's the time mister wolf, so they they build their skills, with the dinner ladies keeping a look out and starting one of those games up if neessary.

[JsMum]

Hi thanks for your reply, playtimes and dinnertimes have always been a problem even in nursery where there was lots to play on, do and keep interested, a lot of concerns where socially and behavioural.

 

but school defo has less to do and I will be raising this with the head, J has just started the breakfast club, between 2- 8 children so very small groups and the teacher said yesterday that he played really nice with the young ones, ( 4yrs) and said he would make a good monitor in the infants as he was helping a little girl yesterday J is one of the first to be helpful and take care of the small ones, so I dont get it, how can it be so difficult with the playground and older children.

 

J is developmentally around an age of 5 1/2 could this be why he gets on better with the younger ones.

 

I didnt think J could have AS because of his speech it was developmentally delayed and only recently began to talk better, he still struggles with sentences and put into words what he is thinking, and to have a conversation, lots of older kids just dont have the patients to wait and J feels rushed so doesnt always talk or gets mad because he wants them to stay put while he talks, this he does by holding onto their clothes so they dont move.

 

J also he is very immature and child like but I am reading more and more about AS and lots do fit but then again he isnt like some of the children in Js school who have AS, there is defenate autistic traits but its not like J is ticking all the boxes because he is able in some areas and not in others.

 

JsMum

[katkin]

Just to add to Darky, my daughters school has zone times at lunch times. Areas of school are zoned into colours. When the child has finished eating they can choose a colour band that correspnds with their zone. Outdoors playground, outdoors structured activities, indoors games, indoors quiet etc. Has worked for my girl who is not an outdoorsy type. Each zone has supervision with the same dinner lady who has chosen that zone because they have an interest in that activity. I have also worked in an MLD school with a majority of ASD. And play and lunch times were more structured with choice of zones also, computers and dance and outdoors. The children worked well turn taking with timers on the computers. There was a lot less trouble at breaks. Worth mentioning to school I think. Love Kat

[Karen A]

Hi Js mum.Thougt I would mention Ben spent some time helping with the younger children in the infants at play time last year.It worked well for him.Not sure why but he does cope better with younger children or helpful older children rather than his peers.Karen

[darky]

my girl came out of school happy as you like the other day saying she had been looking after the new early years. she commented that they were really cute to her lol. i think that because developmentaly they are delayed, its natural they find common ground with younger children.

 

my youngest son (aspergers) gets on like a house on fire with a just turned 7yr old nt girl, he is almost 10. during a holiday play club he formed a firm bond with a 6yr nt boy.

[lil_me]

Playtime and Lunchtime are the most unstructured part of the school day and I think it is always an area of difficulty for children on the spectrum. My son dislikes it and takes at least 15 minutes to calm down afterwards. Since he got his statement this term they have emloyed another lunch time supervisor to be there for him as he kept escaping, but he's attacked her this week. If it was in a small place on his own he'd be much happier. It's noisy, everynes running around, not suprised he doesn't like it. Lunch time aswell is a sensory issue for my son with the smells etc.

[ksasnic]

Playtime and lunchtimes are very difficult for my son too. He is supposed to have a lunchtime helper just for him but the school say that they are going along with a non invasive type of help ????? which means that whoever is supposed to be there for him is actually either playing games with other children or is someone who is the dinner lady who is looking out for everybody else and so not specifically there watching and helping my son..So my boy never really knows who is supposed to be there for him and eitherway they do not understand my sons problems. He used to have a chill out table in his previous year and the teacher then was brilliant- totally supportive, understanding and encouraging now the new teacher seems not to really understand and so my son is forever coming out of school with either a face full of thunder with my daughter and I waiting for ww3 to ensue or totally devastated and bursts into tears...I have a very nervous feel about this year as opposed to last year when I felt far more confident in the teachers abilities. Last year he had a small amount of homework suited and I think adapted in part to him but so far he has been sent home with a homework book and a list of about 9 things he must do during the week, these things are very advanced for my son especially the writing part and the explaining what he means but hey see what he has this week probably have to go in and have a quiet word with the teacher...

 

Sorry for the longish waffle - suddenly got sidetracked... A chill out seat or place where they can go to without it being a big thing worked pretty well for my boy. I would try and get him to tell the teachers whats happening but by the time he had tried to get out what he wanted to say the teacher/assistant had lost patience in waiting for him to explain his thoughts that they would just tell both parties to stop it ! so now I think my boy just suffers in silence.. All is done on any other time is they say they will have a word with the person involved and thats that- no punishment for the person just dont do it again and then its back to square one its so unfare...

 

Anyway if you find any more ideas let us know

good luck

[OPooh]

Hi there doing the school run so no time to read all the replies. Sounds pretty much like what was happening here, they then gave my son social skills training and structured playtimes, with toys, chess clubs etc. I think he gets "reflections" if he's aggressive and "blue slips" if he's good. Hope things settle.

[Canopus]

Is the concept of throwing the entire school out in the playground at breaktime a British phenomenon or does it also happen in other countries as well?

[sylvm]

Is the concept of throwing the entire school out in the playground at breaktime a British phenomenon or does it also happen in other countries as well?

 

My daughter hates playtimes. She has been very distressed this term saying no one will play with her. They are getting older now (Year 5) and she says they are all playing with their Pokemon cards and she's not remotely interested. Apparently she ended up with a younger child today (similar problems) and they were both happy.