fed up with my job

[loulou]

Hi Everyone ,

 

Last night i had a really horrible shift at work and now i just want to cry. I only worked last night to make up my hours due to Kai having his tonsils out. I've been a midwife for 9 years and have always loved my job, but hated all the political cr** that goes with it.

 

I've had to reduce my hours over the years from full-time to now only 11 hours per week due to being a single parent of a child with ASD/ADHD/chronic asthma.

 

I work from 9 till 3 twice a week and i don't feel like part of the team anymore. I'm really starting to hate work and i feel sick every time i have to go. I just find all the responsibility too much when i have so much going on at home. My only saving grace is that i'll be on maternity leave in 10 weeks and it can't come soon enough. I really don't want to go back afterwards but i need the money.

 

I'm only qualified to do this job and i don't know what else i can do (especially something that pays as much). My partner is due to move in with us next month but he can't afford to support all of us.

 

 

Loulou xx

[Bagpuss]

Loulou <'> <'>

 

Must be tough having a job which you dread going into. I know when I had my 3 the midwives were running around like lunatics trying desperately to get everything done, and many now who have qualified can't get jobs....sad state of affairs

 

Could you re-train in some way? What about community midwife? Is there a specific part of your job which you do enjoy, which you could specialise in?

 

Sorry, not much help

 

Hope you do find a solution, and good luck with the baby <'> <'>

[UltraMum]

Can you go into private midwifery?

[darky]

oh boy can i sympathise with you on this. for years i worked in a hospital for elderly with dementia. when i had to go part time after i had my 2nd child, i rarely felt part of the team either.

 

so instead of working twighlight shifts i worked nights for a while. eventually i was consumed by short staffed, and red tape. it seemed there was more we were not allowed to do anymore, of course at the cost of the people i was looking after.

 

one day i just snapped and handed my notice in. with having to give a months notice i had to find another job asap. i worked for social services doing home care for elderly with dementia. i thought at first it was my dream job, but it wasnt long before i felt tied up with red tape again, so i quit. im not working now due to having 2 poss 3 kids with ASD and other bits and bobs, i couldnt keep up with all the meetings and appointments as well as caring for the children. my hubby has gone part time now as well to help support me as i was on the verge of a nervous breakdown last year.

 

now, with tax credits, working tax credit paid at max amount, we are not much worse off than we were when i was working and hubby was working full time. crazy isnt it, but its a fact.

its worth looking into, you can ring up the tax credits and ask them approx how much you would get with a certain income. its worth asking, you have nothing to loose.

 

sending you a hug <'> its so horrible being in a job that you find unbearable.

[Nic m]

Hi loulou, just saw your post and when you are ready to look for another job you could try project work, the skills you have are transferable and would be appreciated in young parents projects social care work or even teaching first aid to groups or something along these lines. Or you may be like me and want to go for something that does not involve helping any more.This may sound really bad but i now realise i need my energy for my daughter and i just want to work round her now. good luck with your job search but i think it maybe a while before you can think of anything but babies! I hope you make some time to relax and i agree with darky it is worth looking into tax credits etc

Nicola

[Elanor]

Hi Loulou

 

I really understand your feelings of stress and isolation - I suppose things are worsened by having to cope whilst pregnant, but probably the real problems lie in the work and the circumstances of work. If you haven't done so already, you should talk with your employer - the HR department might have a helpline service, but your line-manager should be involved. You might have work-related stress, and your employer has a legal obligation to help you - and this might include making 'reasonable adjustments' to help you feel better about work.

 

You might be able to transfer into another less stressful role - or to comething compatible. I gave up my career due to stress, and am re-training (I've got to get the College in a minute) but it is a long-term option, and I'll never earn as much as I used to. All the same, I feel empowered - I was unhappy doing what I did, so I stopped it, and did something new, and it's all worked out ok - I'm happier, and so's my family.

 

Whatever you do, do something.

 

Elanor

[Karen A]

Hi I cannot offer any advice but do understand your situation.I worked as a District Nurse until I had my elder child.When Ben was at nursery I worked 10 hours a week as a lunch time supervisor.I gave up last year because I could not manage those hours and all of the appointments etc for Ben.If I were to think of a job I could retrain for it would be very difficult to find one that paid enough to cover the cost of childcare after school for the boys.Also I cannot find holiday provision for Ben.

I know many others here work as TA's,teachers or in other caring professions however I ended up feeling I could not put what I used to into my work and have the stamina to manage Ben after school.

Any way this week was the first week in months that I have not had an appointment during the day for Ben.I was thinking I could have a free few days-today J is off school poorly.I would be such an unreliable employee.

We do not have family to help us with childcare.My OH has works for a mental health trust that is family friendly.However he has taken so much leave for appointments he feels he cannot take more time off unless it is essential.

I am moaning too now I have to say at least we can manage without my income which helps.I hope you can have a break while on maternity leave and perhaps find a better option.As I say my OH works in the NHS certainly in London morale is pretty low at the momment generally. Karen

[lorryw]

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Could you work independently or would it be too complicated.

I know whta you mean about not feeling part of things. I work as a TA but can only do 2 daysa week and Im always last to know anything.

Only 10 weeks to go! I remember when you first announced you were pregnant.

Take care

Love Loraine xx

[JsMum]

If you could train again in anything what would it be that you would like to do?

 

Your profession now will be a big asset to transferring into another field, and some emploers would still take you with what you have now and you train on the job.

 

Not only does your profession support your chances of an other job somewhere else but your personal expereinces of raising a child with ASD/ADHD/Cronic Ashma.

 

What is clear is that your present Job is making you ill and stressed and that is what is causing the sickness feeling, its anxiety and unless you change the situation it could get worse.

 

Maybe you are ready for a change at the end of the day,

 

Js Mum

[loulou]

Hi,

 

Thanks everyone, I've been to HR today to discuss my Maternity leave (yipee!). I met a lovely lady who said she was amazed at the fact that i actually managed to work AND bring up a child with SN on my own. Made me realise that i am indeed amazing !

 

Anyway, i have to go back to work for 3 months after the baby is born, or i'll have to pay back the extra maternity leave the NHS gives . I discussed it with my man and he says if we can afford it i can give up after that and look for something else .

 

It's a shame really because i have days when i really love my job, and other days when i want to run away and never go back. It's such a huge responsibility which i think is what gets to me.

 

Thanks for all the suggestions, I will spend some of my maternity leave checking out other things i can do. I don't want to waste my skills and 3 years at uni.

 

Loulou xx

[Emum]

I was talking a really nice former midwife the other day, who said that when she had her children, she changed from midwifery to Health Visitor because the hours were regular and predictable and fitted in with her childcare needs. She also said lots of HVs are former midwives and the focus for HVs at the moment is to support mums in first few weeks after birth and help with getting bf established. Would this be a possibility for you after maternity leave? If you were still employed by same HA albeit in a different role, I can't see you would have to then pay back mat pay.