Personal Hygiene problem

[JenRose]

Basically last night and a couple of days before that i noticed that M is starting to smell from under his arms.

He has been stressed and i thought i,d wait a couple of days before i mentioned it to him, but last night

the smell was strong and i had to say something.

 

Last night i mentioned it to him and he completely flipped, he said he doesnt want his body to change and that people shouldnt mention smells, i tried to reason with him but he went into full blown meltdown and so i had to leave it.

 

Ive got to do something though, but i dont know what to do about it.

 

How do you broach personal hygiene with your AS child?

 

Can anyone offer advice

 

 

Thanks

[oxgirl]

Hi JenRose, my son is exactly the same. He has just turned 13 and he is terrified of growing up and getting older and his body changing. He is very tiny for his age at the moment and is still a 'little boy', but it's coming, I can feel it. Sometimes in the mornings I notice that his bedroom smells of sweat and he has started getting tiny pimples on his cheeks!!

All I try and do really is talk very matter-of-factly in a relaxed way about how he is growing up and, 'when people get older, this and that', etc. He does get upset though and isn't ready to consider using a deodorant yet, even though he needs it sometimes.

Good luck.

 

~ Mel ~

[curra]

This is also an issue with my DS. I've talked about it with him but he said that he can't smell anything so he doesn't care if he offends. But lately I've noticed that he's beginning to realise that other people will like him more if he smells nicely, so he's washing everyday . I leave the deodorant on a visible place in the bathroom so that he doesn't forget it.

 

Curra

[Stephanie]

Could it be brought in as part of a routine after having a bath/shower or before school?? Does he have sensory issues with smells? Maybe an unperfumed one? Maybe a stick rather than a spray (some don't like the noise).

 

Could you spray deoderant onto his clothes rather than onto him? Maybe an unperfumed anti perspirant and he would never know.

 

I know the really strong deoderants/anti perspirants like the green one beginning with M don't always have to be used every day.

 

I have this problem with my 44 year old brother - he's NT but his personal hygiene is lacking somewhat and yet he is so oblivious to it. My Dad was always having a go at him when we were younger - the only time he ever smells nice is if there is a new woman on the scene - which isn't often enough!

[helenl53]

I had the same problem with my son although he was only 10. They seem to have loads of testosterone these lads.

 

I bought him an unperfumed stick and some antibacterial wipes for his face.

 

He has a chart and one of the subjects is 'taking care of myself' and I put it as the last two items after brushing teeth. He has things like putting his clothes into the washing basket before then, so it doesn't seem like such a big deal for him anymore. He puts a sticker in the square when he has done all his tasks.

 

I mentioned that he was growing up but I didn't go into too many details. He is a bit anxious at the moment and I would not be surprised if he has 'sprouted' one or two little curly ones! He used to run around like a naked loony but now screams and shouts if I happen to be within 100ft of him when he is changing or in the bath.

 

I don't know quite how to deal with these 'personal' thingies and I am dreading having to talk about the 'nocturnal emissions' - it has got to be sooner I suppose - he will be 11 next week and I think it is around this age that it starts and I don't want him to worried. Chances are he knows a lot more than me!

 

Hope this helps

 

HelenL

[JenRose]

Thanks very much for all the replies, the advice is great!!!

 

I have been out and bought him a green stick - unperfumed made by the company that begins with M.

 

I like the idea of a chart and the "taking care of myself" sounds really good.

 

Did you just do your own or did you buy it?

 

Thanks again

[oxgirl]

I would not be surprised if he has 'sprouted' one or two little curly ones!

I am dreading having to talk about the 'nocturnal emissions' - it has got to be sooner I suppose - he will be 11 next week and I think it is around this age that it starts and I don't want him to worried.

HelenL

 

 

Yikes!! Oh blimey, o'reilly!! Hadn't even begun to think about these!!

 

~ Mel ~

Edited November 27, 2006 by oxgirl

[helenl53]

Hi JR - I bought a pad of charts from the shop that sounds like little metal clips that hold paper together and begins with St and ends with aples. It was in the stars and organiser things for kids.

 

Love

 

Helen

[UltraMum]

I bought a good book called "Personal hygiene - what's that got to do with me?"

Link here (other booksellers are available!)

PM me if any of this post is moderated and I'll give you the details!!!!

[Jill]

There's also this site:

 

http://www.growingandlearning.co.uk/

 

 

I admit that the lady who writes these books is a friend of mine, but I am not on commission honest! She has a son on the spectrum herself and she is also a sexual health nurse, so she does know her stuff.

 

I know a mum with an autistic daughter who said the book on periods was extremely helpful to them.

 

I don't know anyone with a boy old enough to have the *ahem* nocturnal excitement issues though, so can't comment on how useful the books on those are.

[butterfingersbimbo]

things going on in the night!!! i am sorry guys but i am soooo glad i have a daughter!!!! although am really dreading the periods starting.....

 

until recently i was really struggling to get el into the shower but now she has a crush on a boy in her class and is getting a shower every other day! sadly its unrequited.......but at least she is getting washed!

[JenRose]

we,, just to give you an update.

Since sunday we,ve been implementing a plan that we got from a book called "parenting your child with AS 200 tips"

 

It works on a points system ie

 

5 points for brushing his teeth

2 points for putting his clothes in the washbasket etc etc

 

So we added 5 points a day if he uses his deodorant.

 

And today he has used it for the first time, no tantrums.!!!!!

 

He can use the points to "buy treats" like comics or he can save them up

for a few weeks for a prize like a tin of yu-gi-oh cards.

 

The change in him is remarkable, he is so much calmer and happier, why the heck didnt we think of this before???

 

I have ordered the book on personal hygiene that Ultramom recommends as well.

[oxgirl]

we,, just to give you an update.

Since sunday we,ve been implementing a plan that we got from a book called "parenting your child with AS 200 tips"

 

It works on a points system ie

 

5 points for brushing his teeth

2 points for putting his clothes in the washbasket etc etc

 

So we added 5 points a day if he uses his deodorant.

 

And today he has used it for the first time, no tantrums.!!!!!

 

He can use the points to "buy treats" like comics or he can save them up

for a few weeks for a prize like a tin of yu-gi-oh cards.

 

The change in him is remarkable, he is so much calmer and happier, why the heck didnt we think of this before???

 

I have ordered the book on personal hygiene that Ultramom recommends as well.

 

 

Result!!

 

~ Mel ~

[UltraMum]

<'> <'> <'>

Glad it's working!

[UltraMum]

There's also this site:

http://www.growingandlearning.co.uk/

I admit that the lady who writes these books is a friend of mine, but I am not on commission honest! She has a son on the spectrum herself and she is also a sexual health nurse, so she does know her stuff.

 

The books here look excellent (from the excerpts) but I nearly had a heart attack at the cost! I assume they are aimed at schools etc who will use them over and over again as �65 is a bit steep for parents

[butterfingersbimbo]

nice one!!!!

[Jill]

The books here look excellent (from the excerpts) but I nearly had a heart attack at the cost! I assume they are aimed at schools etc who will use them over and over again as �65 is a bit steep for parents

 

Unfortunately she is a one man band, so doesn't have a job lot of the books all ready and printed - when someone orders a set (or one of) the books she has to get it bound & the cards associated with it printed, cut out and laminated etc. Because this is in small quantities it's unfortunately very expensive. She is trying to get a publisher interested tho, so hopefully this will change in the future.