dooday24 Report post Posted December 7, 2006 has anyone got any ideas on how to get through xmas relatively stress free? any ideas welcome as reece gets really bogged down with it all and usually ends in tears lv donnax Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted December 7, 2006 Hi Donna, Hope this helps. http://www.btinternet.com/~rosalyn.lord/AS...masStrategy.htm http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1065&a=8460 Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted December 7, 2006 Surviving Christmas This is a leaflet that we put together at our support group. Hope someone will find it useful. Getting ready for the big day! During the lead up to Christmas there is a lot of preparation for both parents and children. Because of the added excitement and the changes it may be helpful to think of the difficulties that those on the autistic spectrum may experience. For example: * Shopping - Noisy, busy shops, streets and transport *Christmas Carols - Strangers at the door *School Activities - Nativity Plays, carol concerts, parties * twinkling lights - over stimulation * Family/friends parties - new people, noise different foods strange houses * Different religious ceremonies * Talk of a strange man with a long white beard coming in the night Christmas day is traditionally a day of festivities ( depending on individual beliefs) giving and receiving of presents and high expectations of everyone being happy and jolly. But for a child with ASD it MAY be experienced differently. * Excitement/noise/ presents * Broken structure - No school, parents at home, visitors * Broken routines - different food/ mealtimes * Everyone hugging and kissing- getting too close to the child * Meeting distant relatives that may have been forgotten about for a year * Our Own expectations that everyone should be happy * Everyone tired - Big build up. late nights * Stressed Parents - worrying that everything will be ok, the expense incurred, has anyone been missed out? HOW CAN WE MODIFY 'OUR' BEHAVIOUR??? As the child with ASD has difficulty understanding the world and it's peculiarities, it's up to us as adults to try and modify OUR behaviour. By trying to understand the difficulties that children with ASD experience when there are sudden changes to their routine and their daily structure becomes distorted, we may be able to help them go successfully through what could be a very upsetting and difficult time for them. Therefore we need to think about the following.... * Everyone working together, towards the same goals * Prepare the child for changes * make changes as minimal as possible * Keep as many routines in place as possible * Keep the structure of the day as near normal as possible * Be aware of our own expectations * Remember Christmas can be a difficult time for our kids * Include the child in the preparations * Take time to explain what is happening * Try to remain calm The point about our expectations is really important. Christmas doesn't have to be perfect you know. We all want the chocolate box Christmas, but it only happens in fairytales. Have more realistic expectations, in many cases surviving Christmas is an achievement in itself. Try to put yourself in your Childs shoes so that you can work out what it is that?s making them behave in a particular way? What is this behaviour trying to communicate? Makes sure the kids get enough sleep, don't do anything that over excites in the evening. Watch what they are eating, just because it's Christmas moderation and limiting some foods is still important. A few little other things??.. If your child needs reassurance that you have bought the gift that they have asked for maybe it wouldn?t hurt to show them just to remove that stress. Don?t spend a fortune on things that you feel are age appropriate and that you want your child to have, even though they?ve shown no interest in them. It will be you feeling bad when these toys are thrown in a corner or broken at the first opportunity. There should be no strict rules at Christmas, do what works for you and don?t try to do what you think everyone expects from you. If your child can't cope without reassurance that he has what he's asked for Christmas, find a way of reassuring him. So many people see Christmas as having rules that we all have to follow, I think for many of us living up to other peoples expectations is often the hardest part of Christmas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted December 8, 2006 I also meant to add that a very wise person once reminded me that an 8 year old child has only experienced Christmas 8 times, no wonder it's still so new to our kids! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted December 8, 2006 Here are some problems my DS had when he was a younger child. I 'm hoping they help as a warning: - When he was 4, I took him to Santa. There were many children in a queue waiting to tell Santa what they wished for Xmas. When it was M's turn to approach Santa he was terrified and started to scream. Santa did his best to calm him down but it was no use. Other people were upset. - When he was 5, M was so obsessed with Xmas trees and lights that he tried to climb one in a shop. He fell on top of glass and cut his face. He almost lost an eye. - Meeting other children (cousins etc) was not a pleasure for him. He invariably ended up hitting another child or crying because he wanted them to go away. - Relatives and friends sometimes were disappointed that M did not like their presents. They said that he was rude for saying their presents were boring. M did not know how to keep his own thoughts to himself. His relatives didn't know that he has ASD . - M did not like to eat what the others loved, like Xmas pudding, mince pies etc. Now I always have something special for him that I know he will enjoy. - He hated pop music and wanted to listen to Xmas carols only. This was sometimes cause of meltdowns. - When he was 10 we went to listen to Xmas carols in church. The service was too long for him and he talked and talked while the other peole wanted to be silent. We had to leave before it ended. - Last Xmas he got a leather wallet as a present. He took it one day to school and it was stolen. Same thing happened with a beautiful watch. But Xmas CAN be lots of fun and joy!! Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted December 8, 2006 My Son assaulted Santa We took Mark to see Santa and santa asked him what he would like for chirstmas and Mark told him a burnt out car. Well Santa smiled and said he'd see what he could do, reached down and gave my son a wrapped present which Mark unwrapped. But....It wasn't the burnt out car he had asked for, it was a set of juggling balls. Santa got quite a shock when my son attacked him accusing him of being deaf and stupid We can laugh about it now, but we no longer do a visit to Santa! This year Mark has asked me not to wrap his presents and although I was disapointed at first I then found out a school he had been stressing as to whether the cellotape will damage his gifts. So we've negotiated and he's having them unwrapped but in a huge santa bag. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted December 8, 2006 Hi, Christmas meltdowns have started in our house already . Yesterday Kai (8) went into a big meltdown for about 2 hours. He finally told me he'd had a bad time at school. He said, "We had to sing Christmas songs about going to a party and being happy. I would not be happy if i went to a Christmas party, so i didn't like singing the song." Then he went on for ages about not wanting any Christmas cards or presents and wanting to take the tree down. It's heart breaking because everyone else seems to be happy, but for Kai it just makes him sad. I told my Dad what he said (i think he has AS too) and he said he feels like that about Christmas too. Roll on the New Year! Loulou xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baileyj Report post Posted December 8, 2006 Max is 6, and this year, so far so good. He can talk/understand more so its not as bad. In the past we have: Taken photos of the presents under the tree, and showed him the next year so he knows whats coming. Tell him whats inside each present before he opens it. Ask everyone to wrap them very loosely with hardly any cellotape. Don't make him eat XMas dinner, he has dippers and chips same as always Warn him before he goes downstairs on XMas day that there will be presents Don't force him to open any, let him do it when he wants to, maybe gently occassionally say "shall we see if we can open another present. It can take days, but thats OK. Warn everyone not to expect him to like his presents Let him have time out whenever he needs it. Hope this helps Jo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
witsend Report post Posted December 8, 2006 How to get through Xmas relatively stress free?? Wine Sherry Gin (no tonic) cigarettes hard drugs? Sorry the previous suggestions are probably better! Love Witsend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
witsend Report post Posted December 8, 2006 How to get through Xmas relatively stress free?? Wine Sherry Gin (no tonic) cigarettes hard drugs? Sorry the previous suggestions are probably better! Love Witsend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted December 8, 2006 Feel the need to add....WHAT WIT SAID...lol! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted December 10, 2006 thanku everyone for the advise very helpful and i definetly will need some alcohol thanks wit lol lv donna Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfingersbimbo Report post Posted December 11, 2006 witsend.....i am comin to yours for crimbo!!! i have dropped mega hints to el about her pressies this year and she is getting stressed but not as stressed as normal..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted December 11, 2006 Hi, Christmas meltdowns have started in our house already . Yesterday Kai (8) went into a big meltdown for about 2 hours. He finally told me he'd had a bad time at school. He said, "We had to sing Christmas songs about going to a party and being happy. I would not be happy if i went to a Christmas party, so i didn't like singing the song." Then he went on for ages about not wanting any Christmas cards or presents and wanting to take the tree down. It's heart breaking because everyone else seems to be happy, but for Kai it just makes him sad. I told my Dad what he said (i think he has AS too) and he said he feels like that about Christmas too. Roll on the New Year! Loulou xx H is the same - It's a nightmare at the moment because of rehersing the school play - I dread this time of year - why cant xmas be cancelled for our kids He's sobbing every morning and night because he doesn't want to go to school Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
