jlp Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Just as we were getting our coats on ds announced his tummy was hurting. Since he'd eaten breakfast and played with ds#2 and seemed fine I've insisted he was going to school. Now I'm feeling terrible and thinking if he has got a tummy ache he's going to end up having a really bad day behaviourwise. I was thinking it was probably just wind this morning and have written a note in his home school book saying that I think he just has wind but am happy to collect him if they think he is actually ill. My main fear with ds is that I really don't want him to start announcing illnesses at the last minute then expecting a day off school with a huge tantrum (which will end up in me being rang to collect him) if I think he's fine to be at school. He was complaining about a bit of eczema rubbing on his tummy yesterday and I put a huge plaster on and sent him anyway and he was saying that was hurting too this morning (at the last minute again) I'm surprised he actually went in this moring, I actually thought he'd kick off at the door and I'd have to bring him home. It's such a fine line with G - if I'd kept him off the chances were he'd be fine and would try this on again (with a big tantrum if he didn't get to stay off because he'd have gotten to stay off this time - and this would very likely result in me being rang to collect him anyway because of the tantrum) but now I'm picturing him sad with a tummy ache having a worse day than usual. He's also likely to generalise that every slight twinge means you don't go to school that day and I really don't want that to happen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tmf Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Hi, If it helps i would have done exactly the same thing in your position. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Don't feel guilty, our kids like to try us so much! Sending you lots of these <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brooke Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Hi JLP I had the same problem the other day i wasnt sure wheather to send O or not so i sent him in the end and he was ok. Its so difficult to tell quite oftern my son says he doesnt feel well but he is fine I would maybe just give the school a ring to check hes ok but i think you did the right thing putting a note in his diary. Try not to feel too bad im sure they will ring if he is really unwell. <'> Brooke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted March 6, 2007 I know how you feel, jlp, I have the same problem with my son. The trouble with him is he is a very sickly looking lad all the time and he always feels tired and has low energy, so it's really hard to tell when he's ill or just 'normal'. We have quite a long journey to school and by the time we get there he's often floppy and exhausted. Last week we were nearly there, just about to join the long queue of traffic into the centre of town, when he announced he 'felt weird'. I had to try and make a split-second decision as to whether I should turn back before I hit the huge queue of traffic or would he be okay once he'd gotten out of the car. I dithered too long and ended up stuck in traffic for fifteen minutes and then I finally decided to turn back and bring him home!! It's good if your school will phone you if your lad is poorly, that must bring peace of mind. With my school they just make my lad struggle on and I don't trust them to call me if he feels rotten, so that's why I didn't send him in that day. If I could feel confident that they would call me if he wasn't too good, I would have sent him in, I think. Give the school a ring later and just check up on how he's doing to put your mind at rest. <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlp Report post Posted March 6, 2007 (edited) Thank you you lot. I've had 1 1/2 hrs peace and the guilt has eased! It's so tricky because if something happens one way (ie he says he has tummy ache and stays off) then he will expect that to happen next time and if / when it doesn't there will be hell to pay! Taking him in late if he proves to be fine doesn't work either as thats the 'wrong' time to start the school day. Our school are very good at phoning! They sent him home before Christmas with red cheeks even though he insisted he was fine (but couldn't believe his luck) I don't really mind though, I'd hate it to be the other way, that they didn't ring. I collect ds#2 from nursery at half 11 and expect I'll hear if he's protesting (he would be heard across the yard!) Edited March 6, 2007 by jlp Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Same problem here, I actually have him home watching telly right now as he said he wasn't well. Yesterday I sent him in despite off it, but school did call to ask me to pick him up. however, he was really upset because they couldn't get hold of me for 1 1/2 hours (mobile had run out of battery) so he's been really tantruming since as he feels so insecure. If he goes to school not feeling well and I am not on 'stand-by', this is what I get... it'll take weeks for him to get over it, and longer before he is willing to go to school when feeling slightly ill...... I do normally send him in if he's not too bad as he is hard work and I need the respite school gives me. Sounds egoistical I know, but as it's all I ever get I need it. Also, the half hour in the morning and 10 minutes in the afternoon I get with my youngest WITHOUT him are very precious for my youngest, and his behaviour goes downhill too when he doesn't get me for those short times (as again it's the only times he can have my full attention). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfingersbimbo Report post Posted March 6, 2007 i would also have done the same thing! if i kept el off every time she said she felt ill she would never be at school! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted March 6, 2007 <'> Don't beat yourself up about it, we all do it and wonder whether we did the right thing. Like BFB says if my DS didn't go to school evrytime they said they felt poorly they'd never be there. Anyway I think I Motherly instinct cuts in and we now when they are not faking it, though I did get it wrong the other week when he chucked up in the car on the way to school !!!! Take care. Clare x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Hi I think you did the right thing. I've been having the same difficulties lately with my son, although he's more blatant - puts on a Thunderbirds DVD, demands crisps first thing, then announces he's not well and not going to school! His 'comfort blankets' are his teddies and I got around it by suggesting he took one to 'work' with him. I also assured him that if he feels unwell, he must tell a teacher who'll phone me to come and get him. What you've said is exactly right ... you need to be sure that kiddo is unwell otherwise if there's nothing wrong then you want to avoid not going to school becoming a habit. Best wishes Caroline Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted March 6, 2007 That sounds familiar....... M very rarely tells me if he's feeling ill - my GP is always staggered at how well he seems even with raging tonsillitis..ear infections..... I'm not sure if he doesn't feel the pain or if he cannot express himself ..... Don't know. I ALWAYS feel like the worlds worse mummy... Last week he said - in passing - 'My ear feels weird'. I was staggered and took a look. Couldn't find anything wrong - temp was fine and he was telling me five minutes later that it was all better now! Saturday morning he woke up with a burst eardrum . <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlp Report post Posted March 6, 2007 <'> Thank you for all your kind replies G survived the day and agree his tummy had stopped hurting. His Home School Diary reported that he'd had a very huffy day with a lot of going to his area and 'it's not fair' but that's not unusual. He got a Lightsabre (the day is broken up into 4 and if he gets the 4 points he gets a 'lightsabre' token for his reward chart) so it couldn't have been that bad! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Hi We have has exactly the same debate many times.We have sent Ben to school.....only to be called because he was ill. We have kept him at home....and he has been jumping round the living room looking fine by 1100. Such is life. Glad it was ok in the end.Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
