Potty training?

[keepingmesane]

hi all, im needing a little help and advice regards to potty training.

Kieran and Jasmine are 3 1/2, i haven't pushed to get them to use the potty as they dont seem ready but im getting badgered a lot by family that they are ready and that i should push them. the nursery are fine with how they are and are happy to wait til they do it themselves.

 

i have two slightly different situations and thought i would ask if anyone has been through this?

 

Kieran knows when he is wet or has poo'ed but in general isnt too bothered about it. some days he will come to me as soon as he has weed or had a poo and wants changing immediately, but most days he will just get on with it til i check on him and make him have it changed, being dirty or wet really doesnt bother him most of the time. he has brief interest in the potty and the toilet but only to sit on for two seconds. he has never told me before he is going to do anything. his language is ok but a little behind for his age. i have tried him in pants and with nothing on to get him to know when he goes but he just looks a little shocked and has lately taken to splashing and playing in his wee if i dont get there quick enough . im inclined to just leave him a little longer without worrying about it as it may be part of his asd that he just doesnt get it yet??? he is high functioning and a very smart little boy but it doesnt seem to extend to this area.

 

Jasmine is a very difficult little girl to know what to do. she has mild right hemiplegia so is a little awkward on her right side but is also being assessed for other difficulties... poss asd but no one will say yet. she understands the potty and once did a poo on it (she told me she had a stinky bum and when i checked she was clean so i asked her to sit on the potty and she did!, i praised her like mad and she got to flush the toilet, a treat here!). we did have an attempt at potty training a month ago and she wee'd twice in sucsession on the potty. i really thought she had got it but the very next day she sat on the potty and kept asking me to turn the water on she genuinely did not seem to understand that she does the wee. she is like that at times... things go in but dont stay for long. she doesnt know if she is going to wee and is only interested in the potty as an excitement type thing. she sits on then jumps off again proclaiming she has done a wee! i have tried getting her to sit on the potty for longer but she wont no matter what i do, she is always on the go (a very dizzy little girl! always flying from one thing to the next and getting so overexcited or really really upset and we can never tell the triggers) most of the time she knows she is dirty and sometimes wet when she has just weed and before it soaks into the nappy, but she too can be quite happy running around in a dirty nappy until i check. i try her fairly often with the potty but with no pressure. the potties are around at all times (have tried the big toilet too but no different)

they have a friend who is younger that is potty trained and they often follow him to the toilet so do get to see what they should be doing, same with nursery... but it just doesnt sink in

jas is a VERY strong character and hard to get her to do anything she doesnt want, even the nursery and professionals struggle with her

 

my feelings are to leave them a little longer as its a fight i dont think i will win. should i be pushing them like my parents think? taking them to the toilet at regular intervals doesnt do anything except stress (kieran) or excite (jas) them.

i would really like to hear how other people have gotten on with potty training special needs children as all the other people i know havent gone through anything like this, their children just seemed to fall into it eventually, but all at a maximum age of 3ish

Edited April 2, 2007 by keepingmesane

[rainbow queen]

i think it is normal to be behind with the potty training

my boy is nearly 6 but still has nappies at night

it was an awful struggle to get him out of them in the day

the nursery was pushing me to do it but the hospital said that i shouldnt worry to much about him being behind

the nursery did let him go in nappies at first

because you have 2 children i would really try and put your energy into doing one at a time..........this may help a bit....then maybe when one sees the other doing it they might follow.

 

i put it off for ages as my boy was not aware of when he wanted to go -nor did he at the time have the words or know the feelings to express it

its all to do with if they make the connection with the brain....my son was behind in his years anyway

 

it took me weeks and weeks of dedtication

he hated sitting on the potty or the loo

i wasnt getting far with the potty so went straight to the loo with child seat

i was told to keep books and toys in the loo

and a bottle of bubbles -this passes the time and also helps with the blowing action [i was told] as in like pushing action for poos

i ended up doing a sticker chart and i bought a big box of celebrations chocs and kept them on show in loo

i choc for a wee 2 for a poo

because it was visual and had a reward it did work in the end...............have to add it took me weeks

 

my boy had real problem with doing a poo-fear of letting it go in the loo

i bought some cans of prunes

and used the juice out of them-gave it to him with one of those medicine injections..........gave it..... 10 mins and he would need a poo.............so i knew i could sit him on the loo and he would have to let it go-it helped with the timing of it and got him used to being able to let the poo go in the loo

then like you said lots and lots of praise

 

hope this helps a bit

my 4 year old is dry at night.....even though my older son is nearly 6 i dont think he has the capacity to hold wee in or know when to do it at nighttime yet.........i was told by the hospital it is normal and not to worry to much about it

 

have to add the pull up pants never worked for me as he just regarded them as another nappie

good luck

[Bullet]

Tom is three years eight months with no signs of being ready for toilet training yet. He can't tell me if he's been, let alone if he wants to go and doesn't seem aware of when he does go. I place him in the thinnest cheapest nappies I can buy and he isn't bothered by the feeling of going/having been. Or if he is he can't tell me. He will sit on the potty for a short while (we have a potty song ) but has yet to do anything. I am hoping that if I can catch him going on the potty and get him to understand once he realises what he has to do he could use the potty in set places like home and the nursery and I'll worry about him using the toilet in other places when he is a bit older.

I'm not fussed, I know that for a child on the spectrum it's not unusual to not be potty trained at nearly four. In fact, there are NT children who aren't potty trained at his age either.

[rach04]

with my 2 that are not asd they were out of nappies day and night at about 18 months but my eldest who has asd was about 6 yrs old day and night he was going school in nappies!!. Leave them till they are ready. My sis pushed her girl who is 2 she did it for a fortnight and has now gone back to wearing nappies all the time. There is no hard and fast rule.

[peppa]

http://www.tinkletoonz.com/special_needs.html

 

Hope this link works!, you may find this useful when you do decide to start.

 

DD was 2 first time i tried training, as she is such an intelligent child, i thought she would grasp it quite quickly as she showed good signs, however she totally didn't get it, so i abondoned it and left it another six months till she was 2 1/2.

I prepared by buying books on how to potty train successfully in one week (yeah right), new potty and toilet seat, (child sized seat fitted into lid of adult seat), took dd out to choose new (big girl knickers) and stcikers for reward chart.

 

She seemed much more intrerested second time round, however took three weeks before she was dry consistently for more than a day, i was really frustrated by this time, thinking i was fighting a losing battle, if i had known about her HFA at this time i don't think i'd have persisted so much.

 

She would then however tend to stay dry for a week then have 2 or 3 accidents in a day for the next week and i would have to re-train again and again, a year down the line now though and she rarely has accidents however tends to go the opposite way and holds it in! saying she doesn't need to go, she also holds back her poohs and only goes once a week despite 3 doses of lactolose a day, and has now been refered to a constipation clinic!

 

If i had been aware of her been HFA at the time i think i would have left it a little while longer, however i was concious of wanting her trained before starting school nursery, however school have been fantastic and supportive in this area and have even prepared charts at school for this for her and never comment if she does have a accident which she did at least once a week when she first started.

 

If i was you i would be inclined to wait a little longer and ignore the pressure from family and friends, it can be much harder for our ASD children to grasp the whole idea as many of us are finding out!

You know your children best and if you don't think nows the time then you are probably right.

There often tends to be a lot of pressure and competition from friends in this area all wanting to have the youngest child to be in pants.

 

I would also be inclined to train one child at a time as it can be very frustrating if they aren't quite grasping it and your time is taken mopping up puddles and washing underwear! It also gives you the opportunity to focus more on each individual child and how they are dealing with it, stay strong though they all get there in the end.

I am really proud of dd and just how well she did do now knowing how difficult a challenge it can be for an ASD child.

 

Sounds like your children already have an idea of whats expected and i would be proud of them for achieving this awareness already, take your time, do things at your pace don't feel pressured into it to please family and friends, and the very best of luck when you do get there xxxxxxxxxx

[opheila]

Luke is nearly five and is still in nappies and i have tried to potty train him but to no avail yet. Then nursery want me to try again after easter hols but the pead said if he is not ready there is no point the only thing i am doing is stressing him out. When i passed this on to the nursery they were not please I feel like i am stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea

opheila

[elun1]

Hi

my ds2 (autism and SLD) is 5 (almost 6) He is in nappies at night and sometimes I wish he still was in the day as he wees beautifully in the toilet but REFUSES to poo in toilet. It's not down to control as he waits til Im out of the room. I have left him in pants in the day tho as putting him back in nappies seems a real step back. He was nowhere near ready to be trained at 3. We left him til he was almost 5. Even my eldest son who is nt I left until 3. Tried when he was 2 and he didn't have a clue what was expected and started to get very anxious about it even tho I wasn't.

I know it's hard but try to ignore outside pressure about training. Unless of course someone is happy to move in and potty train them for you!!

Elun xxx

[krystaltps]

C was weird when it came to potty training . The day before his 2nd birthday, he went to the toilet and wee-d. He did this for 2 days, then resorted back to wetting himself, as if he'd forgotten. He was nearly 4 when we achieved permanent success - and that was only through bribery. Every time he got a reult in the potty I'd give him a sweetie (no praise, as he hates it). This method was so succesful that he eventaully realised he could squeeze out a dribble and get a sweet, then do the same again two minutes later - <'> , love him.

Unfortunately, when it came to poo - success was a long time coming - 6 years. I was called up to school a good few times to deal with him. I think it's to do with fear - he will not use the toilets at school for a poo even to this day.

My NT twins were not easy either - they were 3 years. But once DS got it, DD was so jealous about the fuss we made, she nearly gave herself a hernia trying to fill the potty too . Perhaps if Keiran gets it, Jasmine will follow suit too.

[curra]

My DS wore night time nappies until he was 6. I had too much pressure from all sides and people made me feel guilty of being too lenient with him. He had frequent "accidents" both day and night, but he controlled himself at school so it always happened at home, in the car or somewhere else. He refused to poo in the toilet because he hated looking at poo or wee. I'd say that he became really "potty trained" when he reached puberty, but it was a slow process that took years.

 

Curra

[MichelleW]

I can't remember how I got J dry during the day, but I managed to get him dry during the day by the time he was 3 years and 3 months when he started his special pre-school, even though he was almost non-verbal. However he would usually need prompting as he wouldn't ask or go straight to toilet - he would just stand holding himself. we skipped the potty as he wouldn't use it and he went straight to standing at the toilet (maybe with a stool to stand on). At about 3 and a half I run out of nappies one night and couldn't be bothered to go out to get some more, so I thought I'd just try putting him to bed without a nappy and he went through the night without wetting. I think he may have had one accident a few nights later, but has been dry since. However he still sometimes needs prompting during the day, and if absorbed with playstation or a DVD will still wet himself. Also he has bowel problems, with constipation (on Movical) but soils almost everyday. I have been called into school a few times when it has been severe. Now he can talk well, and he says that he just can't feel it coming. I think he also doesn't like using school toilets, as he seems to have leakages at school then goes to the toilet at home after prompting him. However the latest problem is he blocked the toilet a few weeks ago (he does really big ones when he goes eventually), and is really worried about blocking the toilet again - thinks he will flood the bathroom!

 

Now my youngest is nearly 2 and a half and is non-verbal and actually gets upset if I take a wet or dirty nappy off him - he seems to like the feel of it. He uses the potty to sit on fully clothed to watch TV sometimes, but at the moment it is just there for him to become familiar with it. I don't expect him to ever use it, and I won't even consider trying to toilet train him until he can communicate his needs and actually show a desire to be clean. I haven't had any pressure to toilet train him, and don't expect I will get any, as everyone I know understand that he has communication problems and that J has ASD.

[mummy]

My mum used to always get on at me for eldest (AS) still being in nappies at 3. He is a bright mainstream boy but still wet regularly during the day until 5. he was not dry at night until 11 and a half.

My youngest (ADHD) also has no learning difficulties, he was dry in the day at 2 but is still in nappies at night and he is now 11 and a half.

I work with several ASD kids at my complex needs school and two are still in pullups because of not recognisisng when they need to soil. one is 13 the other is 10.

[butterfingersbimbo]

el was great with having a wee on the potty, i showed her (yes i used it first ) but poos....nightmare!!!!

 

wait till they know what they are doing it will save you lots of mess and stress.....dont let anyone make you feel like bad mother of the year over it!