ellisisamazing Report post Posted May 8, 2007 (edited) This last few days my two and three quarter year old NT Daughter has been observing Ellis a lot, I keep catching her watching him, so I asked her was there something the matter and she replied, "Mummy, Ellis is broke!", and she then went onto to say," He won't talk to me, he is broke...Oh poor baby Ellis (she thinks she is older!). I have never told her about Ellis because I believe it would have been too much for her to understand at such a young age, she has proved me wrong! It has just surprised me just how much she can grasp and understand about her big brother. Like at bathtime he will play with bath toys but will not try to wash himself, he wouldn't now how to....so my Daughter will take a bath scrunchie help me to clean him. I find it really strange, it's like my kids are in reverse. I suppose all lot of parents think this. When did you notice your NT Child/Children become aware of their siblings difficulties? Edited May 8, 2007 by ellisisamazing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elun1 Report post Posted May 8, 2007 Hi It's the other way around with mine in a way as the one with autism is the youngest. He's 6 and elder brother is 7, so eldest has never known anything different. We've always told him that O is autistic and given more detailed explanations as he's got older. One book that really helped was 'My brother is different' It's published by the National Autistic Society. Elun xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted May 8, 2007 Hi Lis <'> S was older so we never experienced what you have, the younger one overtaking the older developmentally. What a perceptive little girl you have. Whether younger or older though, I think NT siblings tend to be fiercely protective of their autistic brother/sister. S used to get in regular scraps at school if she heard something insulting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted May 9, 2007 Thanks Elun and Pearl <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sandyn Report post Posted May 9, 2007 Hi, your little one sounds like my 5 year old daughter. We joke that R ( 7yrs with HFA and ADHD) has two mums! She tells him he needs to listen because someone is talking and she explains he needs to share his things as well as hers. She even reminds him to turn off the taps after he has washed he hands! She loves her brother and just seems to understand that R is different. She is an amazing little girl - just like yours. Sandra xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted May 9, 2007 Thank You, Sandra! Your little girl sounds lovely, and like a little big sister too! It's so nice to see them just accept, no questions asked. Children are so tuned in to things sometimes, when you are least expecting them to be. Again this morning my Daughter came into my room and said, "Mummy, Daddy and Romy have to kiss baby Ellis, he broke...no talking!", at this my eyes filled up and she climbed into bed with me and just hugged me really tight.....She is so loving. I love watching the interaction between them, she is so bossy with Ellis, but he seems to like being dominated!!! DD makes him sit down and brushes his hair and tries to feed him!! He just sits there smiling, quite content to be mothered! .....when he's had enough, he gives the JERRY SPRINGER "talk to the hand" gesture! Lisa xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lynden Report post Posted May 9, 2007 Leona was older too, but only by 18 months. We've always told her Logan is autistic, and have just expanded the explanations as she is able to understand a little more. Lynne x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted May 9, 2007 Lynden, I will also be honest with my daughter about her brother, once she old enough to understand the meaning of Autism a little better! Thank You, Lisa xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichelleW Report post Posted May 9, 2007 Oh, that is so lovely - really brought tears to my eyes. I am starting to wonder if I will ever see anything like that as my youngest is 2 and a half and is essentially non verbal. He doesn't appear to show any basic understanding and wouldn't be able to show something like recognising his older brother is different. Maybe that's because his older brother may not be different and they are both ASD. Though I'm starting to get paranoid that maybe I am looking for them to be the same, if you know what I mean. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted May 9, 2007 Aw, your children sound adorable, caring for their siblings and helping and protecting them so beautifully. It really makes me wish that my son had a sister or brother to look after him and love him so unconditionally. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted May 9, 2007 It is amazing how young they are when they start to notice. My little one is 4 and very understanding about her big sister - we haven't spoken really in 'proper' terms (if you know what I mean) - but she says things like - mummy XX is a bit grumpy today, or she's a bit mad today, or don't worry mummy she'll calm down after - mind you that's not to say that she doesn't do things to wind her sister up as well !! Take care, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlp Report post Posted May 9, 2007 My little one (3) was overheard telling Grandma not to touch G's toy as 'G will shout at you Grandma' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted May 10, 2007 Thanks for all your replies in this thread! <'> Sounds like we've all got pretty amazing children!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted May 10, 2007 Neither Tom, nor his younger brother are aware of differences yet as far as I can tell. I would like Tom to grow up understanding that his being autistic is as natural a part of him as having red hair, or being a boy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted May 10, 2007 S is 5 years older than J, Lis, & was my "childminder" from the age of 12, held the fort after school while I worked part time cos nobody else would help! I paid her babysitting money & expected a professional service in return, if ever she complained I just had to say, we're a family, we are in this together, if you dont help I cant work. I feel awful about it looking back, feel like she lost some of her childhood, but now she's not living at home any more I think she realises that she's benefited too. I always thought she'd be good with special needs children, when she was living at home she wouldnt hear of it, but now she has some distance from the situation she is drawn to these children. She's working as a TA at the mo, & aims to become a SENCO or ed. psych. I'm sooo proud of her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted May 10, 2007 Neither Tom, nor his younger brother are aware of differences yet as far as I can tell. I would like Tom to grow up understanding that his being autistic is as natural a part of him as having red hair, or being a boy. That's a lovely ideal. And I totally except Ellis as he is, I am fiercely proud of him and I would never change him! But I am also very proud of my little girl being able to understand that he is special, beautiful, totally unique and completely perfect! Maybe her use of the word 'broken' is a little unsuitable, but as she gets older, I will explain this to her! The fact she has been able to pick up on his Autism on her own and form a word to describe what she sees is in my opinion very perceptive for one so young! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted May 10, 2007 S is 5 years older than J, Lis, & was my "childminder" from the age of 12, held the fort after school while I worked part time cos nobody else would help! I paid her babysitting money & expected a professional service in return, if ever she complained I just had to say, we're a family, we are in this together, if you dont help I cant work. I feel awful about it looking back, feel like she lost some of her childhood, but now she's not living at home any more I think she realises that she's benefited too. I always thought she'd be good with special needs children, when she was living at home she wouldnt hear of it, but now she has some distance from the situation she is drawn to these children. She's working as a TA at the mo, & aims to become a SENCO or ed. psych. I'm sooo proud of her. Lovely post, Pearl! <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted May 10, 2007 shannon kept asking about reece before her 5th birthday and i really didnt know wat to say 2 her. a freind recomended a book called my brother is different. it has been a god send. not only 4 shannon other people that could not understand because its so simple. love donnax Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shamu Report post Posted May 12, 2007 Some lovely replies here, and they really make me feel positive about the future. DS is 3 and a half and DD is only one so she's not really old enough to understand but she ADORES her brother. It's such a shame he completely ignores her at the moment but maybe with time he'll become more accepting of her. I can relate to the bit about them being back to front - DD has always fed herself and I've never spoon fed her, whereas I still have to spoon feed DS to make sure he eats enough (plus he's more messy than her ) Shamu Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted May 12, 2007 (edited) Some lovely replies here, and they really make me feel positive about the future. DS is 3 and a half and DD is only one so she's not really old enough to understand but she ADORES her brother. It's such a shame he completely ignores her at the moment but maybe with time he'll become more accepting of her. I can relate to the bit about them being back to front - DD has always fed herself and I've never spoon fed her, whereas I still have to spoon feed DS to make sure he eats enough (plus he's more messy than her ) Shamu Hi Shamu, I wouldn't worry too much!! El ignored Ro totally for the first 12 months!! As soon as she was walking she used to just chase around after him and he had to acknowledge her!! Last Night was lovely, they both sat giggling and holding hands and El was quite happy, in fact he was pretty dominant tonight! They were like that for over an hour and ended lying on the rug and falling asleep together downstairs! They just get on lovely and I can see the bond is so strong, they have their squabbling moments too, but it never gets nasty lucklily! Give it time, your DD will make her prescence known....believe me! I totally understand the food thing! Edited May 12, 2007 by ellisisamazing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
