IEP's and social skills

[chriss]

Can I just ask parents of children in mainstream education if their children have IEP's which mention social skills?

 

My son is struggling with this and despite being in a class of 37 he is very lonely. Can I ask them to give him an IEP which includes help with sociaisation and if so will it make any difference to anything?

 

He is doing well academically but his self-esteem is disappearing fast. Has anyone got any ideas as to what I can suggest to the school to help him fit in better? At the moment I feel as if the fact that he has Asperger's is ignored.

[di30]

Can I just ask parents of children in mainstream education if their children have IEP's which mention social skills?

 

My son is struggling with this and despite being in a class of 37 he is very lonely. Can I ask them to give him an IEP which includes help with sociaisation and if so will it make any difference to anything?

 

He is doing well academically but his self-esteem is disappearing fast. Has anyone got any ideas as to what I can suggest to the school to help him fit in better? At the moment I feel as if the fact that he has Asperger's is ignored.

 

Hiya Chriss, and SNAP !!

I feel my son Daniel 12 yrs old he is in a mainstream secondary school, but feel like his difficulties are overlooked. I also feel that due to (AS) this is ignored too.

 

We made a point of requesting an appointment for Daniel to see the School 'Ed Pysch' to resolve Dan's ongoing issues on the 19th April which the ed pysch did say he would get back to us.

 

We also requested a meeting with SENCO, the LEA and the 'head of year'. I had wrote a letter almost 3 wks ago which was hand posted to urgently request a meeting and for them to get back to me with a date for ASAP, I still haven't heard a thing as much as I have tried to keep contacting them with no joy !

Daniel is also under IEP's which on report this states for 'numeracy, literacy and Social skills.

 

Daniel works better in smaller groups and like your son when he is in the larger classes he cannot cope. Daniel is always on his own too and never bothers with anyone.

 

I have contacted the LEA and PP (parent partnership support) to see if they can sort something out with the school.

 

Perhaps its worth writing to the school and/or contacting the school's Ed Pysc and the LEA and hopefully they can come up with something for your son.

 

It's a horrible feeling isn't it ? when Dan is at school and i'm at home i'm always wondering what he's up to, especially break times etc.

 

'My fingers are crossed for you and your son of course'.

 

All the very best.

Di xx

[chriss]

Thanks for your reply Di. I know what you mean about break times. I think about him all the time whilst he as school and dread what he is going to say when he comes home. I can't work because to put him in after school or breakfast club would destroy him as he has enough to cope with as things are.

 

I have got nowhere with the Ed Psych in the past. He spent 2 minutes observing him in class and said "are you sure he has Asperger's?". Luckily that fool has retired now so it might be worth seeing his replacement. But it is just like banging your head against a wall. The school doesn't want to admit he is having problems because then they would have to help him - at the moment it easier for them to turn a blind eye.

 

Do you think the social skills bit on his IEP makes a difference?

[di30]

Thanks for your reply Di. I know what you mean about break times. I think about him all the time whilst he as school and dread what he is going to say when he comes home. I can't work because to put him in after school or breakfast club would destroy him as he has enough to cope with as things are.

 

I have got nowhere with the Ed Psych in the past. He spent 2 minutes observing him in class and said "are you sure he has Asperger's?". Luckily that fool has retired now so it might be worth seeing his replacement. But it is just like banging your head against a wall. The school doesn't want to admit he is having problems because then they would have to help him - at the moment it easier for them to turn a blind eye.

 

Do you think the social skills bit on his IEP makes a difference?

Hi chriss,

To be honest I didn't seem to think so, but last week the 'head of year' had asked Daniel to attend a breaktime club, I am aware they can take up to 12 pupils and i imagine this may be to help with his social skills.

Dan first attended last Friday, he went Tues, as there were no school Mon cos of the Bank hol and he told me he tried to go yesterday break time and the door was locked, he said he was disappointed.

As far as i know there are board games and last Friday they did have computer games, and Dan have since told me they have removed these as there were too many arguments.

I asked if he would attend again and he said that depends on the computer games !! I asked him why not play a board game with someone else, (i thought this may do him good), but no he wasn't having it.

He said 'mum you know no-one bothers'. It was quite upsetting really.

 

I just wish he knew about it earlier as they have always known about his problems. It may work or not, time will tell, but i know what you mean about the ed pysc, when Dan was in the junior school she kept saying 'you should not label your son' ! (this was when he was being assessed by the child paediatrician).

And we need to know if my son has (AS) in order for him to have the help and support), but she wasnt having any of it and was brushing all to the one side.

So as the junior school never mentioned nothing to the secondary school on the records we had to start all again when he started there.

We met the ed pysch to do with the Secondary school and he does seem to be more helpful but they do drag their heels.

 

If i were you ring or email your ed pysch and explain your concerns and ask them to look into this as a matter of urgency, hopefully the new Ed pysch will be more understanding than the other one you had before.

 

Good luck and please let me know how you get on.

Cheers Di xxx

[mum22boys]

Hi,

 

M had social skills put on his IEP when he was in year 1 (now in year 2) His target was to develop role play skills!!!! Also to mix with more than the one child he would approach. As a short term target I think it did help a bit. The teacher made an effort to get certain boys to ask m if he wanted to play and slowly he was taught how to approach other children. The only problem was no one prepared him for when a child said No.

 

So after one term of this being on his IEP and despite his teachers request to the next teacher that it be an ongoing target it was dropped off his IEP. Now if a child has social skill problems do they honestly think they will disappear in one term Now he is in year 2 and we had no end of problems with a child (who M is very fond of) refusing to play with him and as no one had taught him that a reply may be no he started to lash out at the other child.

 

If you ask me putting it on an IEP is only any good if help is going to be put in place and it is on going. Unfortunatley I feel IEP's are a waste of time in M's school as nothing seems to get done. The targets are unrealistic and no one sets out to give the kids additional help. Roll on next week when M's school has the OFSTED inspectors in

 

mum22boys

[chriss]

Thanks for your replies . I think it might be the case that if I got an IEP at my son's school it wouldn't really be worth the paper it is written on as they don't really recognise the problem. It might be worth contacting the Ed Psych if only to ask for suggestions of how I can help him deal with things by talking them through at home, and possibly to see if they can spur the school into helping him too.